Roleplay By Monologues

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At about the same time as the Baptist investigating team arrived in Horse-With-No-Name-Ville:

In an evil high-rise office of evil movie-industry executives, an evil man and an evil woman, dressed in evil designer clothes by evil designers, were critiquing some of the evil film-script outlines recently submitted to their evil studio. These included a proposed new version of "The Untouchables" in which Eliot Ness would be depicted as _more_ corrupt than Al Capone; a new version of "The Red Badge of Courage," in which the hero would _never_ overcome his fears, and a ten-year-old girl would have to take his place to lead the Union troops to victory; and a new version of "Les Miserables," in which Valjean was abusive to Cosette, so she and Eponine killed him. The two executives were gloating over how much damage these revisionist films would inflict on the very concept of goodness in popular culture....

...when suddenly, one of their big office windows neatly detached itself, windowframe and all, from its place, tilted to fit through the gap, moved inside, and leaned itself intact against a wall.

The evil woman lunged for the evil intercom to summon the evil security guards; but an invisible force trapped her hand, preventing her from reaching the ON button. The same thing happened to the evil man when he tried to call for help. Now, in through the window, almost casually, drifted The Grey Eagle.

"Uhh, we're not auditioning stunt performers at this time," the evil man said, trying to act unruffled.

"And if you're one of my last six boyfriends," put in the evil woman, "I _still_ won't come back to you."

"Relax," the superhero told them. "I just came to give you a little news before it goes public. You know, show business news. The news is about a rumor: the dirty, horrifying rumor that you two, and about thirty other people working in this building, actually _didn't_ vote for the sacred anointed prophet of the Change Party last November."

Both executives were frozen in horror, looking as if they were expendable characters in a monster movie, just informed that the monster was hunting for them in particular.

"You'll furiously deny it, of course," Grey Eagle continued. "Funny thing, though: cleaning ladies and suchlike people, just today, are finding copies of politically incorrect periodicals like 'Townhall' and 'Human Events' lying around in your homes." Looking at the man: "I even managed to plant a Gideons' Pocket New Testament in a pocket of a suit you sent to the cleaners. You and your friends will have a _fascinating_ week, trying to convince the establishment that you _haven't_ broken out of lockstep. Your video of my visit here--I purposely didn't disable that camera you've got over there--will eventually clear you, but not before you experience how it feels to have someone get a hearing for false statements about you. THAT is something _I've_ suffered _too_ many times in my life. Enjoy the games."

And the Grey Eagle shot out the window, telekinetically replacing the pane behind him.

His holographic device given by Bat-Bat had also recorded the encounter just completed, so that he could prove he had assured the evil pair of eventual exoneration.
 
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Bat-Bat took the entire group to Caricature Baptist Church so they could begin their investigation.
 
As they trailed along behind Bat-Bat and the churchmen, Trinity whispered to Jake, "I have a bad feeling about this. I see you've got your revolvers; I'm going to run back and get my Mac-10's. Be right with you."
 
Ignoring the actual plot that was happening with main characters Emmet and Queenie, the Role Player who had not been on for a couple of days decided to stick in some nonsensical plot about people who could time-travel with phone booths and starship captains that were dentists.

Now that the metal-molared-miscreant had been dealt with, it was up to Arthur, King of the Britons to soundly subdue the slimy and seditious civil -libertarian.

Arthur, King of the Britons, walked up to the lawyer and asked him: "by what right do you claim that these evil uses have their rights?"

The lawyer, who resembled Davy Jones from the movies about Pirates of the body of water that is near the Gulf of Mexico but not part of the Atlantic, replied: "Ish in dish here Conshtitushun dat deesh here Evil Ushes hash thems a right to wan to take over the world. Weesh defenden' der rightsh to be evil."

"And who wrote the Constitution?" replied Arthur

The lawyer paused for a minute, then answered: "Ish don mattersh mush, shome guysh from shome time longsh agosh. Don matter mush, what mattersh now ish that we can interpret ish to mean what wesh wantsh and wesh saysh that thesh Evil Ushes are withinsh theirsh rightsh to take over thesh world."

"So, you do not know who wrote it, yet you claim to be able to interpret its meaning? Well then, at least can you tell me what it is made from?" replied Arthur

"Ish writtensh on papersh, wish ink..." replied the lawyer

"Ah ha!" replied Arthur "Since it is made from paper, and paper is made from wood, it must have been made from witches, since witches are also made from wood! Furthermore, since it was written in ink, it must have been written with a pen, and since a pen is mightier than a sword, and the statue of justice carries a sword, then the Constitution is mightier than the statue of justice. Since you practice your profession in a building with the statue of justice outside, it can be said that the Constitution is more powerful than you and your co-workers! Since it is now confirmed that the Constitution is made from witches and is more powerful than you, it is apparent that you have no authority to interpret it!"

"But whatsh do thesh witchesh have to do witsh thish?" replied the lawyer

"What is your favorite color?" asked Arthur

"Bluesh, no redsh, I mean..... waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and before the lawyer could make up his mind, a mighty wind picked him up and sent him flying into parts unknown.

The classical composer congratulated his comrade and the chummy companions commenced their commemorative campaign to conserve the Californians' chivalric commands.
 
OOC: Barbarian King, who has chiefly been playing superhero Bat-Bat besides minor characters, is in real life a man with many real-life responsibilities. Right now, by his own telling he doesn't feel up to full-blast participation in all roleplays. But he has okayed me to write Bat-Bat's action for the coming crucial sequence, and has given input on what Bat-Bat would do. Vanessa also has contributed something to what follows next.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


Bat-Bat and Jake entered Caricature Baptist Church along with the assorted-Baptist delegation; neither of them had yet seen the inside of it up to now. They had time to take in an array of weird banners with mottoes like "YOUR MONEY IS YOUR SOUL" and "SMILE, GOD HATES YOU;" then Pastor Holler was talking in his used-car-salesman voice.

"Have all yew gentlemen come to be shown the error of yer ways? The local heroes included? PRAY-uzz the LOW-ered!"

"Actually," Dr. Birmingham told him, "we figured it was the other way around." Turning toward Bat-Bat and Jake, the African-American minister said, "Please don't be offended, but my colleagues and I need to speak with Pastor Holler as clergy to clergy."

Jake nodded. "We won't be far off, sir. Quite a, well, unusual sanctuary you got here, Pastor Holler."

"It is the _normal_ design for a sanctuary," Holler said coldly. "It's all _other_ churches that have it all wrong."

Bat-Bat was glad for the distraction Jake had unwittingly provided; it enabled the superhero to attach tiny sensor devices to the clothing of the Freewill Baptist and General Baptist representatives before he and Jake had to withdraw. They found themselves out in the December air again just as Trinity was returning from the steakhouse, wanting to know what was up.

"Let's move away from the church first," said Bat-Bat. "Then let me concentrate on what my little Bat-Bat-Bugs may be picking up. You two act casual, in case they're watching us."

"They?" Trinity echoed. "I thought only Pastor Holler was there, besides the visitors."

Bat-Bat shook his head. "I picked up at least two additional heartbeats in there. Now let me concentrate. Act like you have something else to think about."

An inspiration came to Trinity: something else to appear interested in. Rather, someONE. Placing her strong yet smooth hands on Jake's broad shoulders, she smiled and said, "Have to follow the orders of the ranking superhero." Then she slid her arms around behind Jake's neck, pulling his face toward hers. Jake didn't know if he was mainly astonished, or mainly delighted. Enough of both to have him plunging right into the sudden kissing as if he had been wishing to do it for weeks. Well, actually, he had.

They were scarcely more than a minute into it when Bat-Bat hissed: "Lilac LaRue's one of the extra people; I just heard her being addressed by name, and answering. But she and Holler are supposed to despise each other...and no one has seen her approaching this church today...must hear more."

So Trinity and Jake went on preserving the silence for Bat-Bat in the way they had already begun doing. Suddenly, without speaking, Bat-Bat pressed a button on an object like a pager which hung on his belt. His face was growing more serious by the instant--not that Jake and Trinity were paying any attention to HIS face right now.
 
The six investigators had all felt an odd, shuddering sensation as they took their seats in the spacious church office, but gave it no more thought as they began demanding to know why Whiney Holler, having no known credentials with any form of Baptist church, was _calling_ his church a Baptist church. They were not satisfied with his evasive answers, like "I'm an _Independent_ Baptist--actually _more_ independent than the Independents!"

But the questioning was not to go on for very long...before two masked men holding handguns with silencers stepped up behind the seated clergymen and shot them. Shot them with non-lethal knockout darts. Only Ron Birmingham was not instantly felled. An Army Special Forces veteran with Vietnam experience, he reacted to the slumping of his companions by springing up to attack the nearest of the gunmen. He almost succeeded, too, but was darted to sleep by the other one. The last thing he saw before passing out was a woman with short hair...


Bat-Bat's signal device had set off an alarm inside the steakhouse. Emmett and Queenie both knew its significance. "Get to Nessa and hockey-boy, an' stay with 'em!" Emmett ordered, the first time he had used so commanding a tone with his beloved. Her old nature as the arrogant Snow Queen balked at this for an instant; but that was her old nature. Her true, redeemed nature knew that Emmett needed her to stay safe, because she was life itself to him. They allowed themselves one rapid kiss, and then Emmett was out the door, carrying a lariat and the new five-shot repeating shotgun they had recently bought.

By the time Emmett got within sight of Caricature Baptist Church, Bat-Bat had already tried the doors and found them locked. Seeing Emmett coming, the superhero made a miming gesture of whirling a lasso. Emmett nodded, and tossed the coiled rope to the superhero. Bat-Bat flew to the roof, where he braced himself to let each of his friends climb up the rope in turn (Trinity wishing she could still make superhuman leaps as she had been able to do inside the Matrix). From a belt pouch, the winged crusader brought forth the one really serious explosive device he was carrying, a sort of shaped charge, which he planted on a spot of the roof which ought to be over the inside balcony, making for an easy descent once the roof was breached.

First, though, a distraction. From the front edge of the roof, Bat-Bat flung down half a dozen of his non-lethal but noisy guano bombs. He set off his real bomb one tenth of a second after the detonation by the church doors. The needed hole was made in the roof, and the four adventurers went in.
 
Emmett retrieved his rope as they entered, and hastily coiled it up with one hand, something not just any cowboy can do.

From the balcony, they could see the sanctuary's main level--now a dramatic tableau in the midst of changing. Pulpit and altar furnishings were gone from the dais; there in their place were six things resembling dentist chairs, and some kind of control console to which all were wired. Seated at the controls was a woman who appeared to be Lilac LaRue of the Church of Acquiescence. Three of the chairs were occupied by unconscious men: the American Baptist, the Primitive Baptist and the Freewill Baptist. The other three had been unceremoniously dropped on the floor just outside the pastor's office--as the pastor and two masked men with him had been diverted from dragging the other three when the guano bombs went off out front. Whiney Holler and his gunmen were even now apparently investigating...but were out of sight beneath the balcony.

Bat-Bat noticed that Ms. LaRue still seemed unaware of their presence despite the cold air pouring in through the hole in the roof. So he tuned in to the sensors he had placed on two of the chuchmen. These were still working, and revealed that Pastor Holler was standing still, in much the sort of posture that might be adopted by a psychic trying to "read" something.

The superhero gave hand signals: Emmett was to remain on the balcony, where with his pump gun he could command most of the interior of the church. Bat-Bat grasped an arm each of Trinity and Jake, and with his wings brought all three of them down to a soft landing, facing their three adversaries. Bat-Bat realized that Aslan must have blocked any magical sensing ability Holler might have; the three by the door were caught completely by surprise.

"Drop your weapons!" Bat-Bat ordered. The masked men did not comply; despite the disadvantage, they raised their pistols, which by now held regular bullets, and tried to shoot the good guys.

Trinity had already had her Mac-10's in hand since entering; but it made a difference that she had always been dependent on the parameters of the Matrix to make her superhuman. She still was an expert shot, as well as a deadly kung-fu fighter; but here in (more or less) real-world conditions, Jake was the faster gun, with both hands. He put a bullet in each masked man's chest before they OR Trinity could get a shot off. He was taken aback, though, when the fallen men got back up, evading to left and right and raising their guns yet again. It was Trinity, now, who shot them for a second, and far more permanent time--in their heads.

"Not your fault; bulletproof vests," she hastily told Jake.

But now they realized that Pastor Holler had stood unmoving during this flurry of action. Bat-Bat was first to realize that it was an _image_ of Holler which stood so uncaringly. This must be something like the fabled ninja skill of "splitting oneself": leaving one's own lingering image where one had stood for awhile, so the real self could go--

Suddenly, Bat-Bat yanked both Trinity and Jake down to the floor with him, as the real Whiney Holler opened fire from _behind_ them with a submachine gun, riddling the doors with bullets. Worst of all, the villain _and_ his automatic weapon were still invisible, which was rather unfair...but not to Bat-Bat's organic sonar. Launching himself straight from where he had dropped, he tackled Holler, disarmed him, and put his lights out with a hand-heel blow to the side of the head. Then--unlike all the movie good guys who overpower armed guards in villain strongholds--he actually _kept_ the gun instead of tossing it aside and leaving it unused.

Bat-Bat signalled Jake and Trinity to try to get the three churchmen on the floor out of the building. While they moved cautiously to comply, Bat-Bat flew the short distance to the dais.

But Lilac LaRue had not been oblivious; she had been busy. As Bat-Bat landed again, she suddenly barked, "Any closer, and one of these male chauvinist cavemen dies! Right now, their brains are only being reprogrammed...but those brains can also be switched OFF." Trinity, also hearing that threat, winced at the memory of how her friends Apoc and Switch had perished. "Not like this," she silently echoed to herself.

"What's this about?" Bat-Bat asked, trying to get her monologuing so he could find a moment to assess whether any of his electronic devices could stop her equipment from working--render it unable to kill the captives.

"It's about the limits of magic," sneered the unpleasant woman--revealed now as an equal-opportunity mad scientist. "Holler tested all six men as they came into his office, and they were shielded against magic, the way quite a few people in your podunk hillbilly town are. So they have to be reprogrammed by technology...as _you_ will be, too. I mean you two over there by the office as well! Don't even try to take those men away! We can accommodate all of you--!"

Pastor LaRue of the other fake church had seemed never to notice Emmett's presence; he had, after all, not been among those originally escorting the six visitors to this church. Emmett, therefore, had taken a gamble, putting on the safety catch of his shotgun, slinging the weapon, and hoisting himself up to where he could just get hold of a rafter. From the first rafter, he leaped for the next at the moment Lilac LaRue was turning toward Jake and Trinity. And from _there,_ he was close enough...

...that a downward shot from even a scattergun could be made to _miss_ both Bat-Bat and the men in the chairs. He didn't have to hit Ms. LaRue with all the pellets; two or three from the near side of the spread should be enough to stop her from using those controls to kill.

He fired--

--and _none_ of his pellets hit their mark! They all were _turned_ by some unseen force, demolishing a "GOD HATES YOU" banner instead. But the shot still was not useless; the sudden fright caused Ms. LaRue to jump away, and Bat-Bat grabbed the chance to leap in and start working to shut off the infernal device. Still, if LaRue was frightened of a gunshot she was shielded against, she must not have _known_ she had protection--which would mean that someone _else_ had protected her.

A barely-human voice from someplace now spoke, "Easy, Lilac; just because I can't control everyone's mind, that doesn't mean I can't make a gun miss you."

"Ardwin! It's about TIME!" the clergywoman-impostor screeched, which answered the question for Emmett, though Emmett had no chance to tell the others who Ardwin was. "Aslan, help us now," the gunslinger prayed; "please, _don't_ sit back doin' nothin' _this_ time!"
 
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While Emmett and Queenie parted for a brief periode Queenie ran inside the Steakhouse to warn the hockeycouple and the other guests inside. She only found the hockeycouple inside.

" Nessa! Eric! Quick! Get out now! Where are the others?"

" They went outside to see what was going on and me and Nessa stayed here to keep an eye on the Steakhouse so no intruders would come in".

" That's very nice of you but not necessary since Emmett and Jake know how to avoid intruders for coming in. But come on! Now!".

The three of them ran outside. Queenie saw her beloved one and ran to him.

" Queenie, darling please stay outside! I don't want you to get hurt!"

Queenie heard the clergywoman_imposter calling the name of Ardwin and Queenie turned pale. Very pale.

" Please Aslan, come and help us! I don't think we can do this without your help. You and I both know who Ardwin is and I don't want anybody to get hurt.........please Aslan, please!"

Everybody focused on the figure who was now about to reveal himself.
 
(My 14th or 15th attempt to post the same entry)

OOC: Since Emmett was entirely inside the Caricature church, and away from the roof hole they had entered, his position has to be changed for the preceding dialogue to be physically possible. So I'm going to say that, finding himself in an exposed position on that rafter, he leaped back to the first rafter, thence to the balcony; then he heard Queenie calling to him, and leaned out the roof-gap long enough to exchange with Queenie the words written by Vanessa. We pick up there.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


Bat-Bat also prayed, even as he strove to make sure he could shut down the mind-altering device without killing or comatizing the three churchmen hooked up to it. At the same time, his organic sonar was searching for where this Ardwin might be--indeed, searching for any threat.

Meanwhile, numerous pews in the sanctuary had been lifted as if by telekinesis, and piled up as a semicircular barrier to confine Jake, Trinity and the other three drugged victims against an interior wall. As with the pellets from the shotgun blast, Ardwin was able to affect non-living objects even though he could not harm his foes directly with magic.

In another bid to get an enemy monologuing, Bat-Bat shouted at the still-undetected sorceror, "Don't have the guts to show yourself, do you? You want henchmen to do your dying for you. What IS it your gunmen died for?"

He got his answer from Lilac LaRue, who was glaring at him from nearby but dared not attack him. "For _change!_ What else is there but change? These Baptist busybodies are to go home reporting that the whole problem was solved by ME--that I not only cured Pastor Holler of his hatefulness, but also cured _them_ of it, all six! They'll be our agents to help eliminate all that disgusting talk of 'truth' and 'facts' in churches, till everything's about _emotions_ as it should be!"

This dialogue was interrupted when Ardwin found another way of indirectly attacking someone whom his magic could not directly hurt: he made the balcony start to break apart under Emmett's feet. But the veteran gunslinger had been thrown by many a horse in his native century, and he rode out the collapse of the balcony into the main sanctuary (with his gun set on safety)...while allowing it to _seem_ that he had been disabled or knocked senseless.

"Emmett!" cried Jake, and redoubled his efforts to push aside the magically piled-up pews. Trinity helped him, but the pews kept pushing back. Their efforts, however, like Emmett's shot from the pump gun, were not utterly in vain--for they were forcing the hidden wizard to focus much of his attention on keeping them penned in. Where he lay, Emmett tried to judge the best direction for himself to scramble, when any chance of striking back might offer itself.

And Bat-Bat now succeeded in identifying the right switches! "Tough luck, Ms. Emo!" he shouted. "These men will just have to get by on their OWN emotions; they won't be carrying _yours_ around. I've cancelled your program!" The pun on television was lost on Lilac LaRue, who shrieked curses--and somehow, from somewhere, summoned a flying robot the size of a large Canada goose. This thing flew straight at Bat-Bat, extending razor-sharp talons to attack. Bat-Bat replied by raising the almost-forgotten submachine gun he had taken from Whiney Holler and opening fire. Only a few rounds remained in the weapon; these damaged the robot's sensor arrays and slowed its forward momentum, but did not actually stop the levitated machine.

As Bat-Bat rose in the air to defend himself with Bat-Bat-Karate, Ardwin's voice called, "Surrender while you can, hero; that's one of Lilac's deadliest inventions!" The wizard must have believed himself what he said; for now he found the nerve to show himself at last.

Emmett would have expected him to be wearing some sort of medieval costume; but Ardwin had adopted modern businesswear. Dismissing fashion from his mind, Emmett noted a much more pertinent thing: Bat-Bat, so far fending off all the robot's talon attacks, was retreating in mid-air, drawing nearer to Emmett's position. "He _knows_ where I am by his sonar," the gunslinger thought; "and he's tryin' to give me a clear shot at that metal varmint."

As it happened, Trinity was getting a similar idea. She also had a clear line of fire to the robot--thanks to Jake, who by a huge effort had forced open a sufficient gap between the inward-pressing benches. Through this opening, the warrior lady emptied all the remaining ammo in her machine-pistols into the robot, which sparked and smoked and fell in a heap. Freed of this threat, Bat-Bat swooped without delay to attack Ardwin--only to be deflected by whatever the wizard had in the nature of a forcefield.

But this gave Emmett his chance to move--having meanwhile replaced the one twelve-gauge shell he had expended so far. Emmett had noticed that, in coming forth to join Lilac LaRue, Ardwin had walked on the carpeted floor like anyone else. Which had to mean that the evil wizard's isolation from things around him was not absolute. Bat-Bat was being held back, and Jake and Trinity were still confined...

But as Ardwin maintained the defense against the superhero to allow Ms. LaRue to restart her mind-altering process on the three captives in the chairs, the sorceror was physically standing ON a carpet runner which traversed the dais.

"Keep attacking them, Bat-Bat, hold Ardwin's attention!" Emmett whispered, relying on his friend's super-hearing to pick that up. And sure enough, between attacking dives, Bat-Bat gave a fleeting thumbs-up gesture which the gunslinger could see.

As Emmett advanced, keeping low like a soldier on the battlefield, he heard some other sound from behind and to his left. The unclear noise was followed by a very familiar one: three revolver shots. The shots were followed by what must have been a death cry...in the voice of Whiney Holler. Ardwin's apprentice must have regained consciousness and attempted some hostile action; but Jake, even corralled by magic, had guarded his brother's back.

This was also an additional distraction for Ardwin. As a result, nothing hindered Emmett from coming within reach of that carpet runner--and, momentarily putting down his gun, tugging the near end of the runner with all his might.

The result was almost comical. Ardwin had been ominously uttering some presumably magical words, and these turned into a foolish squawk as he took the same pratfall any normal man would take in the same situation. This _completely_ broke the wizard's concentration--

And an instant later, the ancient and wicked Ardwin was himself a helpless captive in the steely grip of Bat-Bat.
 
More that's been waiting for posting access!

Some of the recent anti-meat-eating protesters had changed clothes, and returned to town in a couple of SUV's--the last kind of transportation they would be expected to be using in their tree-hugging role. Thus, they did not attract as much attention as they might otherwise have done, when they pulled up in front of the Church of Acquiescence.

Hurrying inside as if by a predetermined contingency plan, they passed by a hidden arms locker, where they helped themselves to automatic weapons. Then, without hesitation, they picked their way past various idols of Zeus, Odin, Amon-Ra, Quetzalcoatl, Amaterasu, etc., which were abundant in this church while Christian symbolism was totally absent. Moving in succession two particular arms on an idol of Kali the death-goddess, they opened a secret door. This led them down into the same tunnel network whose discovery by Bob Stutz could potentially have led to that man's death, but instead had led to his recruitment by Ardwin. Knowing exactly which direction to take, they hurried for the basement of Caricature Baptist Church.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Meanwhile, Bat-Bat had given Jake and Trinity instructions for how safely to detach the three men in the mind-altering chairs. Emmett, who was holding Lilac LaRue immobilized, had a request for Bat-Bat: "Would you mind ridin' herd on this here bruja? If'n I have to hold her much longer, I'm certain I'll end up wallopin' her backside till she can hardly walk, let alone sit down; and I _really_ don't want Queenie thinkin' I spank women every day."

"We can't let our guard down with Ardwin," said the superhero; "but there's a solution. Take this dart and jab her neck with it; it'll put her to sleep just like the darts used on the churchmen."

Soon both good guys were free to demand answers from the evil wizard. It was Emmett who felt like being the bad cop. He punched Ardwin in the face without warning--and could see at once that, unlike himself, this wizard had little or no experience in having to endure physical pain.

"You're from another dimension, like Queenie," said Emmett. "So you would have had to pal up with fellow sidewinders here on Earth. Name some;" and then, without even giving his enemy time to speak, he punched Ardwin in the stomach twice, very hard. "What, you don't like feelin' helpless? Weren't it you as taught Queenie to enjoy makin' _others_ feel helpless? Not so much fun when _you're_ on the receivin' end, IS it? Queenie's not like that no more, by the way, and won't ever be that way again. C'mon, get breathin', I didn't hit you _that_ hard. Now, name some of your gang."

Bat-Bat doubted that many people had ever seen on Ardwin's face the fear and humiliation that he and Emmett now saw there. The evil magician gave several names of political hacks and show-business celebrities; and Bat-Bat was able by monitoring his heart rate and voice vibrations to be sure that he was telling the truth. Even though he probably would never be able to put these evildoers behind prison bars, knowing about them would help him to counter their evil schemes in the future. Now it was good-cop time.

"Don't hurt him anymore, Emmett. Remember that you're better than he is." To Ardwin: "He goes crazy when someone he loves is threatened; and you, my friend, have been a cause of worry for his fiancee, and his brother, and his closest friends. With you not being able to put spells on him, I'd hate to be in your Italian shoes if he had you all to himself."

Recovering some of his composure, Ardwin asked Bat-Bat, "Where is _your_ wizard, then? You _must_ have one on your side, to be so well shielded. I know that your friend has no power of that kind; I am aware how easily my protege Lind smashed him and his brother about at her stronghold in Wonderland, and I am even more powerful than she was before she--"

Ardwin's happy memories of sorcerous glory were interrupted by Emmett's hard boot kicking him in the ribs. "That's enough of you makin' ANY mention of my future wife with your poison mouth! Aslan could've stopped Queenie from bein' able to do _anythin'_ to us that time in Wonderland; only reason He let her do what she done, was to help her learn to be ashamed of herself. It was right _after_ that playtime that Aslan bulldogged her down hard an' put the fear of dyin' into her, which led to her change of heart when she saw Him NOT killin' her. So, question is, are _you_ scared enough yet to come off your high horse?"

Without warning, Emmett whipped up his twelve-gauge pump gun and fired a round into the floor, the pellet spread coming within inches of Ardwin. Emmett knew that Bat-Bat's super-ears had noise filtering which would prevent him from being deafened. Jake and Trinity, looking on, almost laughed at the way the sorceror flinched and yelped.

"I know your type, or near enough," Emmett said--loudly, since Ardwin's ears would be ringing now. "Think you'll always be on top, never havin' to answer to no one for nothin'. But it don't work that way; sooner or later, you DO have to answer for what you've done. Queenie found the easy way, the way that _don't_ require burnin' forever in the bad place. You could, too; but not long as you're so all-fired cocky an' think you're immune. I reckon Bat-Bat here's got him a hideout where he can keep even a wizard locked away, don't you, Bat-Bat? Be a chance to learn right from wrong, till you--"

"He's been stalling!" Bat-Bat suddenly exclaimed. "He has reinforcements coming! Get those men under cover behind those benches, quick! And watch the vestry!"
 
Still more in my queue

Bat-Bat's ultra-senses detected Ron Birmingham, the delegation leader, waking up first. The last gunshot had sparked alertness in his brain, despite the injection he had been given. Aware of the man's Vietnam War background, the superhero barked to him, "Birmingham! Evacuate casualties!"

Dr. Birmingham immediately grabbed the jacket collars of the two still-unconscious men who had been dropped alongside him, and hauled them to the door and outside. That left three unconscious men, the ones just freed from the chairs; Jake also handled two, while Trinity dragged out the last. This was the first sign bystanders outside were given of what had been happening inside.

Meanwhile, Bat-Bat flew up to the rafter nearest the vestry door from which he expected new enemies to emerge. Emmett stayed beside the subdued wizard, whom he forced to lie on his belly with his hands out front in plain view. Their leader, held hostage, would be the first thing the latecoming outlaws would see. If that was not enough to bring them to submission, Bat-Bat would take them by surprise from above.

=================

OOC: If MGG-Took is looking, you could have Queenie react to this--maybe even run in, and so end up getting the chance to tell Ardwin to his face, "Buzz off!"
 
MEANWHILE:


The Grey Eagle was flying with his banners over one more major city: San Francisco. Even though there were many instances of stark reality happening here, things too horrid even to be reported to the Dancing Lawn, Grey Eagle had no fear of losing his powers in a reality nexus. Enough residents of San Francisco had minds absolutely alienated from all truth or logic, that they generated a permanent atmosphere of irrational fantasy, in which Grey Eagle's powers would remain operational, even when--

He saw an incident of a type _really_ found in the news: a lone elderly woman was standing in prayer on the waterfront, holding a foot-high wooden cross as a silent identification of her faith...when fifteen young men in bizarre clothes appeared, surrounded her, sprayed obscene curses from their mouths--then grabbed away her cross and broke it, as one of their number shouted, "We know where you live! We'll get you!" Another punched her in the face, breaking her dentures.

The assault was so ruthless--and so clearly premeditated--that they already had the defenseless old woman down on the pavement, and two were starting to kick her, before Grey Eagle could finish his dive.

But the superhero's power was preceding him. The two thugs kicking the old woman suddenly found their clothes and hair catching fire. Shrieking in pain and panic, they blundered into their friends and set several more on fire. Grey Eagle could not find it in him, right now, to feel the least bit of pity for them. Those not yet burning, he set burning; let them jump in the water, it was right there. They finally did so.

Grey Eagle used his telekinesis to lift the victim smoothly up from the pier, which was less likely to aggravate her injuries than an attempt to lift her in his arms. Then he flew her to a hospital emergency room; but it was entirely choked with illegal immigrants, and no one could see the old woman.

Suddenly Grey Eagle had an inspiration. He shouted over the babble of the crowd, "This poor woman was protesting _against_ those evil primitive intolerant racist Nazi Christian fundamentalists, and look what they did to her!"

That made the difference; now the patient brought by Grey Eagle was treated like a queen. Only when she was out of danger did the hero--who, during her treatment, had for his part managed to fuse her dentures back together telekinetically--say with a smile to the doctor in charge: "Sorry, I lied. SHE'S the evil primitive intolerant racist Nazi Christian fundamentalist; and it was the noble, enlightened progressives who beat her up."
 
Ooc: If I finally get a chance to post I will do it quick before I'm thrown off for several hours again


Emmett suddenly looked up and Bat-bat. He smiled and told Bat-bat he would be back soon. He went to look for his future wife standing outside the church.
The hockey lovebirds were brought on another place for a while until everything was cleared up. The other guests not involved in the battle were there as well. Emmett walked up to his beloved one and grabbed Queenie's hand and took her inside.

" My lass, here is someone I think you would like to meet. Especially after all he's done to you and now you got the chance to say something back to him. Don't worry; he won't be able to hurt you anymore".

Queenie saw Ardwin, the evil sorcerer from her past. She turned pale but then she realized this would be the end...for him. He would no longer be able to be her biggest nightmare. He would no longer be able to destroy her dreams and future. His name would be forgotten at last.

" Well there you are Mrs Lind as they call you! Ha! You think you got it all eh? I bet you're wrong! You have to be pure evil to do the things you did. I don't believe a second you are going to stay like this. What are your plans now? Taking over the great big world? Using your boyfriend's human powers and shooting skills to reach the top? He has fallen for you and you make him your servant. A miserable, powerless and dumb piece of decoration...that's what you are now!"

Ardwin couldn't harm her with his magic anymore but Queenie felt hurt by his words and suddenly she felt an anger coming up inside of her. But not a rage she couldn't controle. Tears burned inside of her and she couldn't avoid giving Ardwin one punch in his face because of all her anger.

" You think you can still controle me like you did all my life. You forget nobody is pure evil. Everybody learns the good and the bad. You abused the situation created by my parents' duty. You abused your powers and poisoned me as a young child. Someone who felt lonely and you knew this. You promised me to help me not to feel that lonely anymore and in the beginning it worked. But you didn't stop there. You continued. You consumed my soul by learning me evil tricks. I was only a child but you knew there would be nobody to stop me. You knew my situation. And you don't believe In the Good. If I would use my so called boyfriend as you call my beloved one to gain power then I don't think Aslan Himself would kept me alive like He did. He gave me the second chance. Something you will never understand. It's you who is giving up on others when they don't do as you wish and it's you who tried to take over the world through people like me. I hate you but on the other hand I pity you. Because the darkness surrounded by you will never give you the pleasure the Good give us. You will never know how it feels to be loved by someone. You will never have someone to guide you and to help you unconditionally. Your servants only help you to reach their goals and then they will try to get rid off you and gain access to your secrets. There is one thing I like to say to you and this is my final saying......BUZZ OFF!!!"
 
OOC: In order for that superb entry by Vanessa to fit smoothly, we will say retroactively that the sight of Ardwin held at gunpoint halted the evil reinforcements long enough for Bat-Bat to subdue all of them without a fight. I will add that one of the last set of bad guys was armed with a Mac-10, so Bat-Bat gave that one's spare ammo clips to Trinity for her own Mac-10's. The other weapon items taken from the crooks were stacked up, to be handed over to sheriff's deputies when those would arrive. And now for the wrap-up!


Ardwin's hands, during all this, were pinioned behind his back by handcuffs Bat-Bat had provided. But knowing the wizard still to be dangerous even with the limits on what his magic could do here, Emmett kept his eyes and his gun on the ancient scoundrel. So Queenie gave her first hug of relief to Parson Finney as he emerged from the onlooking crowd.

"Parson," said Emmett, "this here is the lead coyote, who's behind at least a lot of the trouble we've gone through. Name's Ardwin; he prob'ly tacks on somethin' like 'The Invincible' after the name, but never-no-mind that. For sure he's behind Queenie's own former strayin' off the straight and narrow. Considerin' _what_ he is, _you're_ better equipped to handle him than deputies are. What would you say to a man who's made evil his liquor for longer than two an' two's been four?"

Titus Finney looked Ardwin in the eye. The evil wizard could sense, to his dismay, that if anything this man was even _more_ shielded against spells than Emmett and Queenie were. "I would say this first, Mr. Ardwin. Your stupid flunkies are terribly fond of calling anyone who disagrees with them a Nazi, in the same breath as claiming that WE hate all who disagree with US. But I happen to know that some _actual_ Nazis, after the war, came to genuine repentance and salvation. So could you. Defeat is often exactly what we need to shake us loose from our pride, resulting in our getting that second chance--the chance being offered to you now. _Don't_ think your sorcery can protect you from having to answer to God; it happens to be _true_ what the Bible says about the Egyptian wizards not being able to beat the divine power that worked through Moses."

The arrogance drained out of Ardwin's face. "I believe you people have a phrase for this: what must I do to be saved?"

Parson Finney laid a friendly hand on Ardwin's shoulder. "The Great Lion Aslan, of Whom you have heard, is plainly and simply the Lord Jesus Christ assuming an alternate physical shape. He brings that same divine power in a form intended to save and redeem. He can set you free from the evil which you think empowers you, but which actually imprisons you. Now, I have premarital counselling to do for Emmett and Queenie, and their wedding to perform; but I'm sure that Dr. Birmingham and his friends over there would be delighted to take the baton and lead you to saving faith."

Ardwin looked at the six men whom he had seized and would have turned into robots for his own aims. "Do you mean that _they_ would...would forgive me for what I tried to do to them?"

"We would; we DO," said Ron Birmingham. "That's the way our Master wants us to be."

Ardwin drew a deep breath. "How different that is from the way _I've_ always been! Maybe, after more than 200 years, the time _has_ come for me to--"

At that instant, the handcuffs holding the wizard's wrists disintegrated, and a spurt of power pushed Emmett's shotgun upward so that it was not aimed at his head. He finished his sentence with, "--stop pretending I'm impressed!" As his hands came free in a sweeping movement, all the snow on the ground nearby came whirling up, as if the Ki-Rin were commanding it, forming an obscuring cloud around Ardwin. Through that cloud, only Bat-Bat was able to detect that the wizard was making two of the confiscated guns, a Tec-9 and a Ruger, fly toward his hands. The superhero did two things: leaped to catch the levitated firearms before Ardwin could get them and use them, and shouted, "Emmett! He's to your right!"

As the crowd shrank back in alarm--and Finney dragged Queenie back in case Ardwin might seek to harm her--Emmett strained his eyes, as he had strained them in Wyoming blizzards more than once, and made out the dim form of his enemy. Ardwin was coming at him with one last reserve weapon: a long dagger which had been magically kept invisible until there was a chance to use it.

Without further diplomacy, Emmett aimed for center body mass and fired, at close enough range that no innocent bystander would catch even one of the steel pellets meant for Queenie's former mentor in evil. Ardwin staggered back, and his snow-cloud fell away. Not falling despite the terrible wound, the wizard lunged at Emmett again--only to be met with a second point-blank shot that staggered him further. "You had your chance!" Emmett roared, and fired the third shell, and the fourth. Ardwin fell to earth like a toppling tree, and Emmett fired the pump gun's last round into his evil face.

Now Jake ran up, with a woodcutting axe borrowed from the nearest house. "Let me make sure, Emmett!"--and Jake swung the axe, severing Ardwin's demolished head from his demolished body. As soon as he did this, the corpse dissolved into smoke. Bat-Bat retrieved the magical dagger as evidence.

Those of the evil henchmen who beheld their leader's end reacted with characteristic philosophical profundity--by uttering startled obscenities and blasphemies. Lilac LaRue would have excelled them all in this, but she was still unconscious.

The fake Baptist church reacted also--the way the Dark Tower had reacted to the death of Sauron in The Lord of the Rings, collapsing into wreckage. It would later be discovered that the First Church of Acquiescence had fallen in the same fashion.

But Emmett cared nothing for this. He was looking for his inexpressibly precious darling to come running to him, like Grace Kelly running to Gary Cooper at the end of "High Noon." And she did not disappoint him; in fact, she was far more physically demonstrative than Grace Kelly. Knowing Emmett would easily catch and support her, Queenie leaped clear of the ground and into his arms, her denim-clad legs clamping around his waist as her arms locked around his neck. For the next ten minutes or more, in that same posture, Emmett and Queenie were much too busy kissing (NOT just shaking hands!) to speak with anyone. But speech would not have been easily heard anyway, amid the joyful cheering of all their friends who were exuberantly happy for them.

Meanwhile, Bat-Bat found the weaselly reporter Bob Stutz--who was easy to pick out: apart from the arrested criminals, and a few enviously sulking 13-year-old girls, Mr. Stutz was the only person Bat-Bat observed NOT cheering for Emmett and Queenie. "Listen well," said the superhero sternly. "I can't prove that you were directly in collusion with that magician; but I'm going to be watching you. I expect you to write some nonsense about Emmett having killed Ardwin 'only for being different;' but I have an infrared sensor record which proves Emmett shot in self-defense. Whatever lies you plan to write, I suggest that you write them someplace far away from here. And remember that no matter how many gullible people you fool, you can never fool God, and His initials are not B.O. Someday you'll have to answer to Him."

Stutz fled without a word, not daring to pronounce the curses he would have liked to fling at Bat-Bat. Now that his powerful sponsor was dead, the journalist would have to settle for the advantages he could get from being on good terms with more famous liars in the national media.

With that nuisance dismissed, Bat-Bat started making plans to recover what was left of Lilac LaRue's mad-scientist equipment for study in his Bat-Bat-Cave. But that would keep until after the wedding of his friends.
 
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Rosita alone had stayed behind at the Gunslinger Steakhouse, because someone had to watch the place. The Hispanic-American waitress thus was the first to meet a moderately attractive Anglo girl of about college-freshman age who came into the restaurant. The stranger had a large backpack hanging from her shoulders. With one hand she carried a garment bag, which seemed to contain some very colorful costume; cradled in her other arm was a bagpipe.

"Can I help you, senorita?" Rosita asked.

"I hope so." The girl exhaled with relief as she laid her garment bag and her bagpipe on two empty tables. "My name is Jessica Hopgood; I'm from northeast Nebraska, and _nothing_ ever happens there. A long time ago, I entered an online roleplay as myself, but somehow I didn't stick with it. Lately, however, I found out from the web forum the general area this town's in; and from what I saw, it seemed to me that stuff _does_ happen here."

Rosita smiled ironically. "Si, se pasa mucho aqui. You've just missed the worst of it; the best is about to get started."

Jessica's face brightened, becoming beautiful when she smiled. "You mean Emmett and Queenie's wedding? So it's for real? That's what I was hoping for!"

An instant later, it was Rosita's face which brightened. "Te recuerdo! Copperfox told me about you! When he started the forum thread which reports on our lives here, he said that you were one of the first people to post on it! So then, you _actually_ play a bagpipe and bellydance?"

Jessica nodded. "I got to be in a chapter of Society for Creative Anachronism for awhile, before it fizzled out in my town. But I really did learn dancing and piping. Besides the bellydancing, I can also do a Highland fling if someone else plays the pipes. I have a kilt outfit in the garment bag along with my bellydancing costume. Please, please, can I perform some way or other? Maybe at Queenie's wedding reception?"

Jessica's eagerness was so appealing that Rosita had to hug her. "This is a Gug," she told the girl. "I'll explain that later..." But Jessica, with a true TDL-type SQUEEE in her voice, replied, "Oh, I know that one: G-rated hug!" And she hugged Rosita back.

"The uproar has to calm down some," said Rosita. "But I'll bet there'll be _some_ way we can give you a chance to perform. Listen, chiquita, there isn't any hotel in this town, and Gladys' bed-and-breakfast is full until Queenie vacates her room. You come stay at my place."

This resulted in more Gugging between the two new friends.
 
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Again, after countless choke-ups...

Sheriff's deputies did arrive, but not before Bat-Bat had plenty of time to scan the six churchmen with brainwave-monitoring equipment, ascertaining that the three who had been strapped in the chairs did not seem to have suffered any change to their brain functions. It was also Bat-Bat who made the first statement to the deputies, freeing Emmett, Queenie, Jake and Trinity to wind down after their adventure.

Back at the steakhouse, Rosita introduced them to Jessica Hopgood, who shyly but eagerly explained her wish to entertain. This prompted Jake to speak to Queenie:

"Queenie dear, what the gal says reminds me: I've been wantin' to throw a bachelor party for Emmett. Now that"--the younger gunslinger knocked on the wooden tabletop before him--"the immediate ruckus is past, it should be safe to do it. Would you mind if the boys an' me hired this here young lady to be the official entertainment at the party, understandin' the entertainment to be only the harmless kind?"

Queenie looked at Jessica, who looked good enough that a man might desire her if he were in the market, but who also looked like what she was: a wholesome Nebraska country girl who meant no harm. And Queenie knew that Emmett had _already_ made his selection in the marital market. She addressed the girl: "I think it would be okay. Only, what IS bellydancing?"

"I ain't never seen it myself," put in Emmett; "nor has Jake. But we've heard of it. Like the name says, a lady makes her belly move around."

"I've seen it," said Trinity, "though I've never done it. It's sexy, but in a surprisingly dignified way. It's elegant. I believe that even the Mod-Cams would be able to tolerate it."

Queenie stood to move close to Jessica. "I believe you have a bellydancing job, young lady. I trust you."

Jessica squee'd, and hugged Queenie hard for that. "Oh, you won't be sorry, Queenie--may I call you Queenie?" (Queenie nodded.) "I promise, it'll just be for fun: nothing you would mind seeing a video of yourself, afterwards. But, no offense, why do you call me 'young lady'? You don't look ANY older than me!"

Queenie squee'd, and kissed Jessica for that. Jessica was encouraged enough to demonstrate the basic shimmy then and there--to which Queenie responded by saying, "Goodness, dear, you must teach ME to do that!" She added, to Emmett, "Only for you to see, darling, only for you."

"Sounds good to me," said Emmett. "And it'll _look_ even better, provided they don't make you wear that divin' suit when you dance for me!"

 
In the course of his nationwide anti-falsehood raids, Grey Eagle had the serendipitous good fortune to locate a real-life woman of whom he thought very highly--not in a sense of romantic desire, though she was (is!) physically gorgeous. Assuming his normal form to meet her on totally prime-reality ground, Joseph Ravitts was introduced to Mrs. Brigitte Gabriel, formerly of Lebanon. Like the virtuous Lady Sarah, Mrs. Gabriel was doing something of value in the world, not riding off on a horse to flatter herself. With her husband's permission, Joe kissed this courageous author and lecturer's hand, telling her how much he admired her struggle to stop Americans from deluding themselves that they could end the global terrorist threat by appeasing the terrorists. [ OOC: I wish I _could_ meet Mrs. Gabriel, for exactly that reason! ] They spoke a bit about the fact that India had enacted laws in recent years to appease Muslims, but this had not protected India from the recent Muslim terrorist attack.

After his interview with Mrs. Gabriel, Joe resumed his guise as Grey Eagle, and set out to follow his latest clues on the Evil Cultural Corruption Conspiracy. Some of his clues concerned unprosecuted cases of election fraud--NOT by "both sides equally," but again and again and again committed by Change Party hacks.
 
A belligerent 13-year-old girl comes on and posts:

No fare! Seksists! Kweeny was suposed to deafet the wizord all by herslef! Yuo cant let yucky GUYS be tuff, then wat will hapen to GURL POWER??
 
Queenie had no problem with the bachelor party for Emmett. It was a normal thing which happened a lot before couples got married. Jessica taught Queenie the basics of bellydancing.
Back outside everybody seemed to have forgotten about the evil sorcerer and the wedding was once again the main subject on the discussions the local people had. The hockeycouple was walking around in the area and decided to go for a long walk through the woods. The woods Emmett and Jake so loved. They often went there on the horses and of course by foot as well. While on their way both Nessa and Eric heard the sound of birds busy with their own things. The white Rabbit and the Hatter joined a very nice tea party back in the steakhouse and of course the party contained only two participants....themselves. They had invited the others but everybody was so busy and besides all this; the Hatter and Rabbit often held a tea party.
It was in the late afternoon when the Rabbit decided to go out for a walk. The sun was just going down and a red sunset filled the sky.
 
The White Rabbit was to find that he was not the only talking animal in Horse-With-No-Name-Ville. A talking Orangutan, wearing a heavy cloak against the unaccustomed (for him) chill, met the Rabbit and introduced himself as Shangpo. The Orangutan spoke briefly of how he was assisting Smerdyakov in killing the gremlins which were trying to prevent forum upgrade from being successful. When the Rabbit revealed that computers were not used at all in Wonderland, Shangpo remarked, "I'm not sure you're not better off."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As far as Emmett's bachelor party having ANY entertainment value, Jessica Hopgood was the saving of it--because, what with all the evil activity harassing the town lately, Jake had had no chance to seek out talent. Jessica lived up to her billing by playing the bagpipe _while_ she bellydanced; and one of Emmett and Jake's townsman friends, playing an accordion, was able to give the girl (after a costume change) adequate music to perform her Highland fling as well.

Rosita and her husband came by to pick up Jessica at a pre-arranged time. Jessica was paid so well for the gig that she insisted on paying rent to her hosts. At the party, meanwhile, the men soon settled into fellowship, including a Bible study about marriage led by Titus Finney.
 
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