Louise Finney, the Parson's wife, grabbed an opportunity before the rehearsal dinner to speak to Queenie and the bridesmaids, out of reach of any male ears, other than Bat-Bat's, and she had asked him on his honor not to eavesdrop. "I want to share something with you girls which a woman really needs to be the one to say. In the present social climate, any _man_ speaking of this will be accused of a self-serving attitude, or worse.
"It is a plain fact that the Bible says--in Ephesians 5, for instance--that the husband is the head of the wife, NOT the wife the head of the husband. Everyone who says that this _isn't_ what the Bible teaches, has to distort the content to make her case. The plain and obvious text says what it says.
"But I used to resent this terribly. I insisted that _only_ verse 21 of that chapter had any relevance, and that the more specific verses _couldn't_ mean what they said. I _claimed_ that I 'only wanted equality;' but what I really wanted, and self-deceivingly denied wanting, was to _dominate_ my husband absolutely. Again and again and again, in every sort of situation you can imagine, I _demanded_ my way, always and only MY way. And I fought dirty, up to and including refusing affection to Titus if he opposed my will. Then, when he gave in because he was the _only_ one who actually cared about preserving the relationship, I would always say that 'we agreed' on whatever it was. We didn't agree, I _dictated;_ but I was good at lying to myself.
"Queenie, I was as bad as you once were. I had what some call 'the spirit of witchcraft,' meaning that lust for domination; the only difference was that I couldn't cast magic spells. But at last, probably just barely in time, God penetrated my armor of dishonesty and woke up my conscience. He made me face the fact that what I was doing wasn't even remotely about 'justice;' it was ALL about me exalting and worshipping myself. And those who exalt themselves must be humbled.
"There had been countless times when I faked reconciliation after some argument that I'd won by fighting dirty; but every time, it had been a matter of pressuring Titus to accept 51 percent of the blame for things which had not really been his fault in ANY way or degree. Now, under the conviction of the Holy Spirit, I made what was in fact the first _genuine_ apology I had ever, EVER made to him. Instead of demanding apologies from him which he _didn't_ owe to me, I spent more than an hour _offering_ all the apologies which I _did_ owe to him. And girls, I have never, _never_ once regretted it since! Truth makes _such_ a difference to love! From that night, he and I were such lovers, we made the snuggling between Queenie and Emmett look like cold indifference!
"Contrary to all the modern propaganda, admitting that Titus was my head under Jesus did NOT make me into a slave chained in the kitchen. To this day, I get almost everything my way in actual practice; but now I know that there can be moments when HE is entitled to have the last word. Now, I'm not _fighting_ my husband, I'm _really_ his partner."
