Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

Four Mororlessan years later:

Deep in a cave, one of seven scattered hideouts they had established, Stone Wolf ate a piece of locally-produced bread, and drank something resembling coconut milk. By the way, in THIS story, unlike any Middle-Earth or Narnian story, people periodically need to go to the bathroom. Shortly after Stone Wolf did so, Aristocrat Six joined him in the cave, with a triumphant expression on his face.

"Rollo and Jimmy did it, Wolf! You finally have rockets again;" and he presented his comrade with two rockets which would fit Wolf's launcher. "Explosive power barely half of the originals, but they'll fly at least a hundred meters farther."

"Bless those guys!" Wolf inspected the rockets closely. "These will work against the new enemy barracks over beside Roughsand Lake. But we need to delay that raid, so Rollo and Jimmy will have alibis. Lousy repayment to them if we let them get hanged as resisters."

Six nodded. "For sure. If it were easier for planetary patriots to GET OUT OF the Introductory-held regions, we'd have less cause to worry for them."

"Then let's do what we can to keep the Ductors' attention elsewhere than on the crossable borders."

As part of protecting the two metalworking brothers who were secretly assisting them, Six and Wolf conducted their next raid far from Rollo and Jimmy's town, and did not yet use the new rockets. As for that, although Six was able to obtain fresh projectiles and electrical recharges for his rail gun, he had purposely gone for most of the past year without using this long-range weapon at all. The fewer obvious patterns in the proto-Crackshots' attacks, the more difficult for Introductories to determine just how many raiders there were inside the lands the aliens controlled.

Anyway, not everything COULD be replaced. They had long since used up the five temporary-shield units Wolf had possessed: the final time, to survive a barrage of blind-firing particle beams. Mororlessan industry could not reproduce them. The strike performed immediately after the providing of the new rockets was carried out entirely with simple fire bombs, plus the melee weapons the two humans had brought to Mororlessa in the first place. But on that occasion, an Introductory foot soldier whose skull Wolf cracked with his pick bequeathed a well-made laser pistol to the humans.

"That's yours," Wolf told his friend; "but remember not to use it until the sortie AFTER our next."

Two days after this, they became aware that an all-citizen contingent, based over a hundred kilometers away, had seriously damaged many alien ground vehicles with homemade explosives. "Great for them," Six declared, "but I bet they're not as good at vanishing afterwards as they need to be."

"Then let's draw the heat away from them." Accordingly, barely two hours after this conversation, Aristocrat Six's repeating shotgun, and Stone Wolf's 15mm pistol, took down four adult human traitors who had been helping the conquerors. This was not really impulsive, though. Being resolved never to harm innocent people, the proto-Crackshots had been watching these four traitors for more than a year, to make sure they really were voluntarily siding with the enemy, not forced into it by loved ones being held hostage.

But this hit left them out of ammo for their compact firearms. In particular, fifteen millimeters was not a standard bullet size on Mororlessa. Therefore, the next time they shot at Introductory personnel, it was with rifles taken from the lately-terminated traitors.

Before getting around to using the laser pistol, OR the rockets made by Rollo and Jimmy, Wolf collapsed a roof at a Introductory outpost, by using a "borrowed" chainsaw to make a huge tree fall onto it.

Amid everything else, they tried to discover why no heavy reinforcements had been sent to the alien occupiers, and zero reinforcements for the human side.

+++++++++++++++++++

Eventually, the suffering planet neared its fifth anniversary of becoming partitioned between humans and hostile aliens. Speaking of aliens, let me state that the ethnic makeup of the Introductories included races whom I have shown as also being found in the Congregation: the sluggish, long-necked Sankasselums, the brutal Juggernasties, and the small, ever-excitable Mipstipters. Also on Mororlessa were a few Bonkalubs: a species with long necks like the Sankasselum, but otherwise with a round, lumpy body which in silhouette suggested a snail. Sankasselum and Bonkalubs were the oldest surviving races to have been part of the very beginning of the Introductory civilization; the former tended to be scholars or administrators, while the latter usually became technicians or skilled laborers.

The damaged Earth ship Spurting Flame remained undiscovered and hibernating. Sustaining herself on solar power, Sarcasta maintained as much outward surveillance as she could. Thus did she fortuitously pick up a centuries-old normal-space transmission, which had been sent before mankind ever flew in outer space. (Remember, I'm discarding the game designers' notion of Earth itself "really" having had a high-tech civilization more than a HUNDRED centuries ago.)

Once she got the transmission deciphered, the A/I found it to be some kind of memoir from an alien. From a Sankasselum, to be specific-- but a Sankasselum who had been part of something the United Civilizations didn't even know about at this point. (This is pre- Master-Champ, remember.)
 
Last edited:
"I am Zerodown," he said, "the Prophet of Devising Ridiculous Ordeals and Humiliations for Subordinates to Undergo, Just Because. I now broadcast my memoirs, for the benefit of inflated egos which may come after my time. We Sankasselum have invented all sorts of cults and in-groups in our history, but I was the one who persuaded enough of my counterparts to unify, so that we could gather LESS-intelligent intelligent races in a fake religion which would make us influential across the galaxy.

"We were not about to try in haste to subjugate the fearsome Introductories. We kept out of their way, but set about to imitate all we could of their technology. Eventually we migrated to Planet Jimmykrackorn, far away from any Introductory power centers. We found the methane-breathing Dunktoy on another world in the same star system. Bringing this race under our influence, we employed them to operate super-cold industries in the gas-giant zones of several star systems.

"We lucked out on Jimmycrackorn in more ways than one, for it proved to be a storehouse of artifacts from the lost Preliminary civilization. The rising generation explored farther out, in directions away from the Introductories. We considered that society to be silly for giving themselves a group name nearly synonymous with 'Preliminaries'; but they still were powerful, so we didn't attack them at any time in my lifespan. What we did do was to find and occupy two of the extra-ancient Heyho Rings. The Introductories boasted of having created these ringworldy things, but we found that it had really been the Preliminaries.

"Not being strong enough to challenge the Preliminaries militarily, we refrained from attracting their attention by using the rings for teleportation. But examining the Heyho technology in place has already enabled us to improve our starships greatly.

"I am confident that, within the lifetimes of my great-grandchildren, our Congregation will grow large enough, and sufficiently equipped, that we can operate without concealment, stealing people from Introductory allegiance. Therefore, to any future beings who can decrypt this memoir, I say, join us or you're a poo-poo head!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Being only a complex program without real feelings, the A/I Sarcasta felt no fear of ceasing to exist. But her imperative to serve humanity prompted her to use up her self-sustaining potential, in order to preserve the content of Zerodown's message in redundant copies. Three of these copies, usable only by someone with human DNA, were inconspicuously placed in orbit around Mororlessa. Other copies were placed where Captain Dillard and others on board would find them, with Sarcasta's recommendations for future actions.

After one last review of ship systems, and satisfied that Spurting Flame would still be inhabitable when the humans woke up, Sarcasta ceased to exist--

--but resumed existing in AsaLion's Country, from which place (now having a body of her own) she could enjoy watching the further adventures of the humans she had assisted in a then-virtual universe. And the Creator assured her that her human friends, though themselves not real at this point, WOULD eventually all be real as well-- "whether up here or down there."

All this is kind of background to the background. When we next visit my Halo parody, we'll still be in virtual time before Master Champ and Cortexa become story-real, but CLOSER to when they'll "really" exist and can actually love each other. In which connection, remember that Copperfox relishes happy endings.
 
Last edited:
SCENE CHANGES TO JERSEY EARTH, where established heroes were looking around for new heroes to turn up. The magic-user from Canada, Algonquin brave Roger Tree Root, is prominent in this talent search. Angola, Uzbekistan and the Philippines have yielded new heroes: respectively Kahilu Baloval the technopath, young Miss Fatima Kutuzova the newly-gemmed Heart Sapphire, and Inosanto "Water Scout" Bagwis, a family patriarch and fisherman who was given vast clairvoyance in bodies of water.

The Stewmeats and the Dickeys had been called away to other missions, as had the alien scientist Greensodd who served Preston "Truthside" Vincent. But Big Barndora and Wispy Mythical, the two most morally upright residents of New Laziness, were still around.

Mister Bagwis couldn't _breathe_ water, so up to this point all he could contribute to metahuman business was knowledge. But he was interested in the submerged Starhatch which Wispy had uncovered. Therefore, as we resume this thread, we find Mister Tree Root casting spells to _give_ the good fellow Aquaman-ish abilities......

John Stewmeat to Roger Tree Root: "Does he have his intended powers yet?"

Roger (shrugging): "My powers aren't on, say, Zoorama Slippage's level. I need to avoid harming Inosanto-- like, if I were to give him gills and then his regular lungs quit working. So yesterday, I invented a spell of _storing_ spells. My other three spells for yesterday all concerned parts of Inosanto's anatomy, tending to make him stronger. My first spell for _today_ will be to give him as good a degree of regeneration as I can produce. It won't be impossible nonsense like him being fully restored if even a strand of his hair is left, but he'll enjoy a good life expectancy."

Barndora to Inosanto (assume she has the means to be heard by him in Tagalog): "Do you want us to keep your new superhero status a secret?"

Inosanto (also shrugging): "No point, I suppose. My government, and the Australian government, already have some idea of my transformation."

= = = = = = = = = = = = =

To refresh the readers, also present were two American police chiefs who, like their colleague Trace Dickey, had received Fuss powers with extra specialties. Marvin Taylor of Chicago now could heal wounds and sickness, while Jorge Feliciano of Milwaukee could slow down physical movement. The latter gift, overlapping with "ordinary" Jedi-type telekinesis, could make the largest airplane, if it were falling, land lightly enough that everyone on board would survive.

It was Marvin's extra gift which became relevant when Roger Tree Root magically amphibianized Inosanto Bagwis. The Filipino fisherman suffered internal bleeding while his insides were being altered, but Marvin repaired this. Once Inosanto, alias Water Scout, had been stabilized as a dollar-store Aquaman, and still had Barndora and Wispy looking after him, Roger, Marvin and Jorge were free to catch a special jet flight to Burma, where Burmese doctors would introduce them to a young woman who was the latest metahuman.

First word was that she was like the Inhuman Medusa in old Marvel Comics: able to do crazy things with her extremely long hair.

Bear with me while I search online for examples of Burmese female names.

All right, her name is Tinzar Piyo, and she lives in the city of Mergul.
 
Last edited:
One of the last traces of the recent meddling by Sapphire Sisters on Jersey Earth was that world's last-selected "Cosmic Fact Checker." Carson Wendell, a teenage Hochunk Indian, was a special case. During the activity in Angola, Roger Tree Root had magically restored normal hearing to the boy. Remember that the Cosmic Fact Checkers were unable to hear any voice which disagreed with Heart Sapphire philosophy; losing the selective deafness, Carson was more competent to join in the adventure.

With Roger, Marvin and Jorge all mentally reaching out to him like a homing beacon, Carson was able to fly independently all the way to Burma. Joining them-- and the Piyo family-- in Mergul, he introduced himself politely to the parents before speaking to Tinzar.

The Fuss informed Marvin and Jorge that the two adolescents felt instantly attracted to each other. But there was no need for cautionary measures. On Jersey Earth, Burmese parents and Hochunk Indian parents both did very well at instructing their children to behave properly. Eldest of the visitors by a few years, and able to cross the language barrier with a spell, Roger spoke for his party, saying to Mister and Missus Piyo:

"At the start, I promise you that none of us here will try to _tell_ Tinzar how she can or should employ her new powers. But with a presupposition that all new metahumans are good-aligned, it is only reasonable for all of us to know each other to some extent."

"If so," replied Mister Piyo, "please allow our daughter to use one of her new talents. It will not harm you, but her hair needs to touch your head in order to sense your personality. She cannot read your exact thoughts, but she will understand what manner of man you are." The Algonquin mage consented, and about two feet of hair heaped itself on top of his head.

"You are much like my own father, Mister Tree Root. You have deep devotion to your family and tribe, and have good will toward all people who do no evil. My parents will enjoy having you all here for supper. During this, if Master Wendell has as much communication ability as I assume he has, he and I can exchange stories about our homes and schools."
 
Last edited:
A door has two sides.

I remind the readers that the "other end" of the submerged cosmic portal was on the Jurassic Park-ish planet which Groan Starr and Vixen briefly visited very early in my story. It was on land, but not very far from an ocean. About three days after the previous post, a gigantic tidal wave washed over that Starhatch-- and brought with it a kaiju of sorts. Snake-like in form, it was _just_ able to fit through the Starhatch; and for story purposes, the sea serpent possessed a fantasy energy which _activated_ the wormhole generator.

Water Scout was exploring the depths near the Jersey Earth Starhatch, when the snaky brute burst out, _wrecking_ the portal at this end. Less powerful than Aquaman, Water Scout couldn't overpower the monster; but he diverted it from sinking a passing petroleum tanker, and the tanker's crew spread a warning.

Copperfox has a lot of real-world stuff going on; so please just assume that _every_ available superhero, including Tinzar Piyo who hadn't even come up with a hero-name yet, got in on the ensuing action. The technopath from Angola presumably invented a machine to decoy the kaiju away from endangered human populations. And Fatima Kutuzova from Uzbekistan lectured everybody that they must not _eat_ the monster. The final outcome was that the sea serpent was confined-- not slain, because it couldn't help being a sea serpent-- and was kept isolated until the Janitors of the Universe were contacted.

Barndora also messaged King Highfyver of New Laziness, asking him for aid, but as usual, Highfyver was too lazy to be of use. Fortunately, the Janitors took care of business, and transported the sea serpent back where it belonged. So Jersey Earth was now in good shape, apart from no longer being able to do anything with the Starhatch except study its wreckage.

Everybody's happy, and Carson Wendell begins a chaperoned courtship with the Burmese girl.

You haven't been _hugged_ until you've been hugged by an enormous head of long black hair, in addition to an affectionate pair of arms.
 
Last edited:
On Punksteema, when we last saw Billyboy Jeralo of Gromstark-- the werebeast who has full control over his animal side-- he had sneaked into Reslagor from Bamulica, carrying a message on behalf of the Towermen, the Smoke Maidens, the Captains of Skilled Labor, the Mellow Druids, and friendly neighboring countries. The message offered assistance, from all those interested parties, in reconciling workers with business owners.

So now I'll tell you about an excellent result Billyboy achieved.

About three days' march north of the Two Rivers fiefdom stood the nearest thing to an Original Earth state university which existed in Reslagor: the Pinebranch Gorge Academy for Young Men. Its headmaster, a retired architect named Vardilac Bocarden, employed a faculty of nineteen teachers. These men taught adolescent-to-adult men science, mathematics, history, multiple skilled trades, and the languages of eight nations who had friendly relations with Reslagor, PLUS every commerce-language that Reslagorian travelers had occasion to use. Headmaster Bocarden himself was proficient in most of these tongues, and consequently had no need of narrative cheating to speak with Billyboy.

As soon as Billyboy resumed human shape, Vardilac made two observations. First, the young skin-changer's human skin was dark enough to rule out his being native to any place within six hundred miles of Reslagor. Second, Billyboy's clothing rematerializing on him argued that his enchantment was a sophisticated one, as well as being family-friendly for the story. Accordingly, the headmaster did not pass Go or collect two hundred dollars, but resorted at once to a commerce-language known to many Loi-Hukshem and Loi-Kikoro. Although Billyboy did not resemble those ethnicities any more than he resembled the white people of Reslagor and Bamulica, the academician was aware of remarkable travelers having come to Hukshem recently.

"Right up front, Mister Jeralo, are you an associate of the Last Towerman?"

"So I am, sir, and hope to become Sir Ronald's brother-in-law, if he can get his head out of his rapier scabbard and see what an opportunity life is offering him. Ronald of Goliad, however, is no longer the last gunslinger-knight. Not only has he accumulated disciples, but another veteran Towerman, Sir Wyatt Hickok, emerged from obscurity last year, and is training still more new Towermen in Wellvernia. Thus, when the Order of Edgar Pallendin offers to help stabilize your country, this is no empty offer."

"This may be an answer to prayers. Mister Jeralo. The Oligarchy will be told as much. For now, I'll cause guest-faculty quarters to be placed at your disposal, and tomorrow I'll start introducing you to several merchants and master craftsmen, so you can acquaint them with gunslingers being diplomats."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Captain Varlock Patterson of the Sagrum Rangers, and his very smart wife Lady Dorothy, were awaiting developments at a field camp whose presence was accepted by the locals. Malgriff and Sagrum Thanedoms had both learned that there were great benefits in having their soldiers behave honorably toward all non-hostiles. Frampton Shellrudd, a young sergeant of Hussars, was in charge of the noble couple's security. Zane Penrossley, the other sergeant in their party, had run back to Malgriff to fetch High Justiciar Robrist Lorcan, who could assist with investigations.

With Billyboy still at Pinebranch Gorge with Headmaster Bocarden, Lady Dorothy was not waiting for news from the were-doomrat before she looked elsewhere for information. The High Justiciar of Malgriff had a fine reputation all over Bamulica and points east and west. Working-class Reslagorians who had emigrated could be induced to relate their experiences to him. The next paragraph happens at whatever time best fits chronology.

"Justiciar, Sergeant, thank you for making good time!" exclaimed Varlock. "We already have eleven men and six women waiting to make their statements to you. The great majority of Reslagorians now standing by have obtained short-term employment hereabouts, and all are interested to hear more about Mister Shard's 'Captains'."
 
Last edited:
On that part of Arcondoyla's continental coastline which contained the coasts of Hukshem and Reslagor (Kikoro's ocean shore, strictly on the Gulf of Kobason, was farther east), a paved road ran within sight of the Equatorial Ocean. On this road, mounted on durable mules, loitered K'Zogar Poi, Lester and Didima Grath, Talusek and Feshri Fernwood (note that Talusek is Didima's nephew), and a retired Loi-Hukshem soldier named F'Duhaz Chen who knew K'Zogar. BESIDE the road rather than on it, and dismounted from her mule, stood the Mellow Druid matron Wildroot Seedoil. Wildroot was not so fanatically everything-natural-obsessed as to consider paved roads a sacrilege; but for her present communing-with-nature thingy, she needed to be standing on untampered ground.

"I've never known their checkpoints to be completely unmanned," said F'Duhaz to Talusek, while peering at the completely unmanned Reslagorian border checkpoint. "And as far as any of us know, internal unrest over there is nowhere near so bad as to pull EVERY soldier back to their interior."

"Back east, checkpoints between Tablanor and Felruda are never deserted, even though all their quarrels are mended and they're at peace."

F'Duhaz glanced at Talusek's far-from-decrepit Aunt Didima. "In view of intermarriage over that way, I believe you about reconciliation."

Didima put in a word of her own: "Lester and I became the first crossover marriage (at least without long prior acquaintance) after General Seldunin arrived at acceptable terms with the winners. During the war, Lester saved the life of a wounded Felrudean soldier-- who happened to be my brother. That act of mercy to an adversary made Lester my family's favorite Tablanorian."

Didima's niece-in-law Feshri, meanwhile, was intently observing Wildroot Seedoil's occasional slight changes in posture. Finally, the Druid faced her companions, relaxing her stance yet seeming still alert.

"From everything I can discern, there is no civil war transpiring anywhere in Reslagor-- yet. But non-lethal confrontations are increasing. I recommend that we proceed in-country. K'Zogar and F'Duhaz: as much as is feasible, I urge that you two do most of the talking with citizens we encounter. As matters now stand, you might seem LESS threatening to one Reslagorian citizen than another citizen would seem."

* * * * * * * * * *

Reviewing pages, I appear to have taken away ALL of Ronald's recent journeying companions except his thirty-something fan-girl Zoralee and Zoralee's sister-in-law Judy. But that's okay; I can plausibly decide that some combat-capable male volunteers from Hukshem join Ronald, Zoralee and Judy. This impromptu posse moves westward on a course north of Lester Grath's party, but south of Lady Dorothy's party. And in a small, easy retcon, I decree that Billy knows to expect his wife and his sister to come looking for him along just such a route.

Meanwhile, assume that Vicar Tolstoy Blake has assembled a prayer team someplace, performing night-and-day intercession for the good guys, to thwart any sorcerous efforts by Jaheg-Jorod.
 
Last edited:
What the hey, let's rejoin Sir Wyatt's party, who at present are almost as far away from Ronald as they can be without leaving Planet Punksteema.

With Wyatt were Ilya Trostel, who enjoyed the honor of carrying one of Ronald's magnum revolvers, and two brand-new learners from blue-collar households. Frethric Belgus, whose family worked with lumber in some capacity, could (like Ilya) wield an axe in melee. Lagmarosk Mezdatch, the son of a road inspector, had taught himself to use a spade as a weapon. Each of these newbies also possessed a single-shot bolt-action hunting rifle, plus a hunting knife.

The captured Frantic Druid called Star Swallower was now in the custody of lawful-good clerics, who kept him confined on holy ground. Wyatt exhorted them to warn other good clerics about the Frantic Druids having a base on the moon. And some time after their seagoing adventure with mini-krakens, Wyatt obtained gunsmith tools. With considerable precision work, the Towerman modified the rifles to accept three-round stripper clips and socket bayonets. Actual bayonets for the guns eventually turned up at the equivalent of an Original Earth army-surplus store. While not by any means discarding Frethric's axe, Lagmarok's spade, or their belt knives, the boys now enjoyed greater firepower, and a better chance of surviving combat.

Speaking of weapons: it hasn't come up yet, but a variant form of swords existed in several Wellvernian countries, and Sir Wyatt was familiar with them. Imagine an inside-out saber or scimitar, curving downward from the user's hand rather than upward, with the inside edge being sharpened, like a sickle. The variant swords were known on the south continent as "claw swords," as their curve was like the curve of a cat's claw. The same weapon design had existed in the far past on Original Earth, in the land now known as Romania.

Wyatt knew how to use a claw sword, but had not owned one since long before his hibernation. Being back in the southern hemisphere at last, he was on the lookout for a chance to purchase one.

Since my readers probably never saw the blade type I'm describing, let's invite a real-world weapons researcher from YouTube to describe the unusual ancient sickle-sword. For lovers of obscure trivia, some of Robert Howard's "Conan" stories may have intended to identify warriors as being armed with this mid-range melee weapon. To get even more trivial, I imagine a Wellvernian claw sword as having more of a hilt guard than what you'll see in the educational video.

 
Last edited:
YEAH, WYATT WILL EVENTUALLY ACQUIRE HIS CLAW SWORD; BUT WYATT ISN'T SO MUCH IN THE MIDDLE OF STUFF AS HIS DARK-SKINNED GUN-BROTHER IS. WE THEREFORE WILL PICK UP RONALD AGAIN. WYATT WILL GET MORE STUFF TO DO LATER. THIS NEW SCENE TAKES PLACE TWO DAYS AFTER LESTER'S AND RONALD'S PARTIES CROSSED INTO RESLAGOR SEPARATELY.

On the grounds of the Pinebranch Gorge Academy in Reslagor, an unarmed-- but also uninvited-- visitor barged onto the campus when students were practicing a team sport similar to field hockey on Earth. He was in fact an alumnus of Pinebranch Gorge, but he wasn't on the grounds because he felt warm affection for the old college.

Yanus Barton, the academy's athletic-and-fitness coach, recognized the former teenager. "Hespero! Hespero Nubinek! What brings you here today? Do you want to discuss future enrollment for Brody?"-- meaning the eight-year-old son whom Yanus knew Hespero had.

"Brody's future, yes." Hespero calmed down somewhat. "But how good a future can my son, or ANY child have, if they grow up surrounded by HATE?"

"All right, tell me who hates whom?"

"YOU hate your own students! Isn't it obvious? You're teaching them to hate others, and hate injures the one who hates others, so you are harming these new students by training them to hate each other! You must change! You have to do better!"

"Um, do WHAT better?"

"Equality! Peace! Change! Tolerance! Fulfillment!" The alumnus was so engrossed in his rant that he was startled when Headmaster Bocarden tapped his shoulder from behind.

"Mister Nubinek, what brings you back on campus today? Do you want to have a discussion of tolerance and fulfillment?"

Hespero swung around. "I want those things to START HAPPENING-- instead of this obsession with defeating and humiliating people!"

The Headmaster's eyebrows went up. "Are you talking about the whack-puck game?"

"I'm talking about a scarcely-disguised rehearsal for the madness of war!"

The sports coach's eyebrows outperformed the headmaster's eyebrows. "Mister Nubinek, you never felt this way when YOU WERE A GOALIE on our whack-puck teams. What happened to you?"

Hespero's face now assumed more of a lecturing-one's-inferiors look than the other two men's faces had ever displayed in their lives. "Mother Universe happened to me. She has made me realize that the madness of war springs up from competition, from rivalry. Your sports obsession leads the athletes to hate everyone who's different!"

"Then what does Empress Everything recommend instead of sports?" asked the headmaster.

"There still can be athletes, just so nobody wants to win."

"Say what?" exclaimed the coach.

Hespero gestured randomly. "What you need is a sport of cooperation. It can be done on this very field, using the same equipment-- except no need for the goal structures. Position all the players-- and their number can vary-- in a circle, or an ellipse, with four or five paces between players. Then have them tap the puck, maybe more than one puck, around the circle."

"And then what happens?"

"Then they do MORE circulating of the puck from player to player. Maybe change directions between clockwise and counter-clockwise, but only if everyone agrees. Perhaps vary it with straight-line movement across the interior of the ring, but only when someone else is ready to do the next movement. It will be a triumph of love over exclusion, rivalry, hatred and rejection!"

Headmaster Bocarden looked into Hespero's eyes. "We could give that a try, if the boys like the idea. But what will you say if they DON'T like the idea?"

Hespero was taken aback, but rallied. "Why, they'll need to have their eyes opened by someone."

"Are you volunteering for that job?"

The Headmaster's gentle sarcasm passed over the younger man's head. The alumnus went on: "I appreciate the implied endorsement, but there are wiser heads available."

"Can you name them?" asked Yanus Barton. In reply, Hespero identified more than a dozen Reslagorian citizens from various walks of life. About half of these were known to have professed sympathy for the nation's aggrieved workers.

The headmaster and the coach gave their visitor no sign of their intending to act upon his information. They did, after all, still have an academy to run. But, unknown to Hespero, they would soon be telling Billyboy Jeralo about it. Billyboy, for his part, would carry the names to Zoralee, Ronald and Judy. They could seek out legitimate activists, who knew about Howard Shard's also-legitimate project. Zoralee's researching talents would be applied to the list of names; Ronald's gift of being believed by others would secure cooperation from Reslagorians; and Judy's musical talent could gather peaceful crowds if desired.
 
Last edited:
On Planet Freesoil, my tribute to Edgar Rice Burroughs, intersecting with my tribute to "Starship Troopers," is developing. The "Starship Troopers" part centers on the military telepath Earl Pufferton, who is connected with the Starship Grunts from Federal Earth.

At least two Green Flashlights are on hand, though neither is from the colonist population. Bill Redvest is from Latterdawn, is married to shape-changer Versaderma, and only received his Flashlight prosthesis very recently, by the endorsement of Lucy Luminous. Much more experienced with "green energy" is the ant-like Tiptikditpip, who is anxious not to alarm the Freesoilers. John Cardsharper, his Fuss-user wife Lylah, Slick Mudpackis, his Fuss-using wife Krayzee, the six-limbed warrior Tarp Kanvas, and military telepath Earl Pufferton, are all interested in the inner world which has been found to exist-- and is evidently ruled by the also-telepathic Wingdingers.

Enough story-time has passed, since my last Freesoil post, for characters to do stuff and complete any business not relevant for this event-sequence. This includes Freesoilers having the chance to make Tiptikditpip's acquaintance, and satisfy themselves that he had nothing to do with the predatory Creepycrawlids. The most likely place to find access to the hollow-planet world was judged to be Freesoil's arctic zone, which was land rather than ocean. Earl Pufferton, who had the best long-distance mental reception of telepaths involved here, was following the underground exploration plans like a journalist. At the same time, with Freesoil's local psionic talents "off post," Earl could take their place as an early-warning resource, even without physically entering the arctic zone.

Here, then, is the list of characters who would actually go underground when the downward route was located: Tiptikditpip, Slick Mudpackis the reformed Dark Headgear, Krayzee Mudpackis, John and Lylah Cardsharper, Bill and Versaderma Redvest, and a female Greedork named Shahoopi. This nonhuman girl had accumulated impressive knowledge of rocks and caverns, and could squeeze through underground spaces better than any of her companions.

Waiting on scene where Slick and the others descended were Tarp Kanvas and Abner Littleton, with a team of Greedork laborers.

As a takeoff on Mr. Burroughs' "Pellucidar," the world within Freesoil will be called Bazookadar. (But I believe that Burroughs intended the C in "Pellucidar" to be pronounced like an S, conforming to the adjective "Pellucid.")

/ / / / / / / / / / / /

When the explorers arrived at the fissure most likely to connect with a route going all the way to the inside world, Shahoopi started climbing down, harnessed to a strong safety line. The Fuss users had all offered to safeguard her telekinetically; but Bill, who had done plenty of climbing on Latterdawn before he received Flashlight powers, pointed out: "If she gets in trouble after she descends out of our sight, an attempt to levitate her blindly might slam her against rock edges. Sometimes the low-tech way is the best way after all."

Versaderma remarked to the other women, "I fell in love with Bill for his brains above all." She was not joking.

A little over an hour after starting, Shahoopi signaled for assistance in climbing back up. Once in the open air, she told her companions, "Below the farthest point I reached, the chimney widens. Right where I stopped, there are stalagmites which would serve to anchor additional climbing ropes. From there, I believe the space widens enough that Bill and Tiptikditpip can levitate the rest of us down through the empty air-- then UP as gravity reverses, to re-orient us for touchdown."

Readers are invited to assume that the Greedork female's plan worked out well. The travelers beheld the "Central Sun," corresponding to E.R. Burroughs' novels (although none of these characters had ever even heard of those books). By its light, they observed flying creatures; but the Fuss users and John Cardsharper all determined that these beings did not possess enough intelligence to be the "Wingdingers."

On solid ground, an erect-walking reptile, shaped like a modest-sized Allosaurus, emerged from the jungle and charged them, but the Fuss users pushed it back so hard that it decided to go look for easier prey somewhere else.
 
Last edited:
TO READERS WHO UNDERSTAND GEOMETRY:

In geometry, if you choose two points on the circumference of a circle-- for example, the eleven and the two on a rotary-clock face-- and draw a straight line between those points, this line is a "chord" of the circle. You can also draw a "chord" between any two points on the inside surface of a sphere. Before the end of this post, you will understand the significance of my inserting the little geometry lesson.

But let's not keep Tarp Kanvas and Abner Littleton waiting for confirmation that the explorers made it into the hollow world.

As the one true telepath in the expedition, John Cardsharper drew Lylah, Slick and Krayzee into a mind-meld with himself. Their partial telepathy added strength to the "signal," as John directed the mental message to Tarp and Abner: "We're safely in. There is a life-sustaining environment here, with a storyline-convenient light source. Animals for sure, but intelligent life not yet confirmed."

Okay, now for the geometry. Imagine a line in space which begins where John is standing. The line extends out and up, at around a thirty-degree elevation from the explorers. The other end reconnects with Freesoil's interior approximately four thousand miles away, if you were traveling along the planet's curve instead of flying through the inner world's air.

And the explorers opted for surface travel, since they had cause to believe that the greatest prospective threat was from flying monsters. Note, however, that the end point of the chord-line is not where the party is aiming. It is the location of a new human character I'm about to introduce. Call him Trampelfar of Bazookadar.

] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]

The planet known to settlers as Freesoil had actually existed in physical reality since a few years after Edgar Rice Burroughs was born on Original Earth. God in His aspect AsaLion had created Freesoil in anticipation of the "Pellucidar" stories which Burroughs would write. As far as actually-existing people on Planet Freesoil knew, Bazookadar had existed since the beginning of the cosmos. Of course, as far as the humans and ape-folk knew, Bazookadar simply WAS the cosmos. With no cycle of night and day, and with no seasons, Bazookadarians could measure time only by sleeping periods, by the maturing of children, and by the reigns of their emperors.

The emperors, unfortunately, were all Wingdingers. Shaped like pterodactyls, they possessed usable hands on wrists, extending from what would be the claw-location on the leading edge of a pterodactyl's wing. They would have been able to perform some degree of manual work for themselves, but they were as lazy in spirit as they were cruel. Enjoying a significant degree of psionic power-- though they could actually read minds or transmit commands ONLY within a limited radius-- they had (according to story-world chronology) taken control of an ape race resembling the Chimpanzians in my Spaceballs-derived sub-reality. These fairly-intelligent anthropoids, calling themselves the Slambangani, had then helped their winged masters to subjugate the humans in Bazookadar.

When rival clans of Wingdingers made war, they did it by proxy: normally pitting Slambangani against Slambangani, since humans were more valuable as laborers. But some humans were permitted to learn martial skills, providing the overlords with SMARTER soldiers for complicated assignments. Being less powerful for hand-to-hand combat than the ape-folk, human soldiers were usually employed as either scouts, archers, or military engineers.

This brings us to the career of the human hero Trampelfar, who is located at the far end of the chord line I described (thus, not destined to meet Bill Redvest's party for many days to come). When his mother was pregnant with him, she and the father had yearned for their son to be a free man. So they had planned a surprise for the Wingdingers-- which they could get away with, precisely because they had always been obedient, so that the flying tyrants felt no need to mind-probe them.

After the boy was weaned, his father had put into action a long-prepared strategy. Straying from their village, Mother and son had drunk a sleeping potion, so their brains would not transmit, and fell asleep hidden in a thicket, while the father fled farther away. All the time he was running, the father focused all of his mind on thinking that his wife and son were fleeing WITH him. At last he dived into a hard-flowing river and drowned-- successfully convincing the Wingdingers that all three runaway slaves had perished. Bereaved but free, the widowed mother had survived long enough to teach survival skills to little Trampelfar.

Now, the young man Trampelfar, who could make his mind undetectable to the telepathic reptiles if he concentrated on this, lived for the sole purpose of punishing the monsters who were to blame for his loss of his parents. He had become an expert at setting up "fatal accidents" for Wingdingers who left the safety of their strongholds.

Yes, the good guys will find Trampelfar soon enough.
 
Last edited:
Some things must happen on the OUTER surface of Planet Freesoil before I let the explorers encounter the hollow-planet hero.

A man in comicbook-ish attire, as big and brawny as he could be without looking unnatural, materialized in the middle of the planet's de facto capital. The first resident he beheld was a young male Greedork. Having language-intuition power, he extended a hand in greeting, shaking hands with just the right firmness.

"Hello, youngster, my name is Lodge Flake. Have you heard of me?"

The Greedork smiled after his fashion. "Yes, sir! Some of our people traveled to your galaxy!"

"So they did," replied the hero also called Captain Rightawrong since he had received superpowers. Looking at other Freesoilers who were excitedly congregating, he exclaimed, "Hello, my friends! I've come to inquire about your present welfare. My own homeworld is doing fine; how are all of you?"

The Greedork boy's mother came alongside her son. "We are well, thank you, and still proud that one of our people was able to assist in liberating you from that prison planet, before you became a superhero."

A human woman added, "Some other good-aligned off-worlders are visiting us right now; and some of them are exploring underground. If you remember Tarp Kanvas, he's involved with that expedition."

"Hmmm, tell me more." While eight or ten settlers were taking turns describing recent events, including Earl Pufferton's actions, Denzel and Lumlabbish Powder came running up to greet the other-galaxy hero as well. Captain Rightawrong, who knew that the Powders had been part of cultural-reform efforts in his galaxy, was highly pleased to learn that they had lately been blessed with renewed fertility, and shortly was introduced to their little son Relselt.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
When Lodge went up to the north-polar camp where Tarp, Abner and Earl were standing by, Earl directly transmitted into the superhero's brain everything they knew so far about Bazookadar. One thing the psionic flag-officer said vocally was, "I picked up that place-name, which seems to be meant as 'The World,' from hundreds of brains at once, and about half of those brains were non-human."

Not himself telepathic, Lodge didn't think at Earl, but rather spoke audibly: "And what are you catching about good versus evil?"

Although he had been ensuring that Abner and Tarp received his transmissions, Earl reverted to his vocal cords. "If nothing worse, I do read plenty of bigotry from a whole race down there. With hints that the upper class tramples on the lower class."

"Hmmm, I need to head back to my own galaxy soon. Do you think I should teleport into the hollow world, and put a scare into them? Note that one thing I can't do is turn invisible."

"Let me contact John Cardsharper and see what he thinks."

Less than two hours later, a flock of Wingdingers was circling over the exploring party-- when a big man appeared close to the explorers. He immediately shot out six lightning bolts; none of these hit any of the soaring monsters, but all came close. If you ugly critters are sampling my thoughts, you know that we didn't come to pick a fight, but we can win a fight if we must.

The Green Flashlights would take it from here, if a shootout became necessary.
 
Last edited:
On Earth-Whichever, near its version of the Pentagon, a small assembly of journalists from all over the world sat in rows, mingling with prominent scientists who also came from all over. Their eyes were on General Timothy Moss, who addressed the audience theatrically:

"Ladies and Gentlemen: you all keenly remember the Trippenwonk crisis. With no disrespect intended toward anyone who stepped up for that unavoidable war, all of your nations benefited by the preceding achievements of Stork Industries. You know that Stony Stork facilitated Bryce Donner's work which gave us the Exquisite She-Hunk. Brave men and women cannot rest when it comes to readiness against future enemies. Right now, Stork Industries, in cooperation with many international partners, continues to advance metahuman development.

"I personally have assumed oversight of our latest development in enhanced special forces. The new team has five members; more may eventually be added, but the existing roster can handle a great variety of challenges. Allow me to introduce..... THE THUMPERCOLTS!"

Two men and two women filed onto the stage. All of them wore costumes which were distinctive but not ridiculous. Their faces were plain to be seen, except the face of the second man. The first woman was the one who looked like Julia Dreyfuss in her prime. She told the onlookers: "I am officially called Bashmistress, which was the General's idea of a name reflecting my martial prowess."

The first man said, "I'm not required to conceal my birth name. I'm a war veteran, John Hiker. For complicated reasons, I go by the codename of Useless Agent." The second woman told the crowd, "My operational name also contains the word 'mistress;' deal with it. I'm Alchemistress, the only Thumpercolt who possesses magical talents." The second man declared, "I'm Dirtypool, and I'm as hard to get rid of as a telemarketer. But at least I smell better than our fifth member;" and he looked behind him.

Belatedly ascending to the platform was what seemed a 400-pound man with crimson skin, bare above the waist.

"Call me Red Chunk. Bestowing mega-strength on me was the chief contribution made by Bryce Donner. My role is to tackle unique foes, while my fellow Thumpercolts defeat more ordinary adversaries who come in large numbers. It is assessed that, if Twerpseid of Awkwardlisp still had his power, I would have seventy percent odds of beating him in a purely physical fight. That much is all I will say for the present."

The other four Thumpercolts answered three or four questions apiece, leaving their audience intrigued.

But none of the onlookers guessed the reason why Red Chunk spoke so little. The reason, which the other superheroes knew already, was that "Red Chunk" was a robot. The reason why a robot was needed was not because Red Chunk was a hoax, but because the robot wasn't Red Chunk. Red Chunk was Timothy Moss himself, who finally could expunge his long embarrassment over not being a combat veteran. By having even once been seen in public WITH Red Chunk, he could prevent the public from ever guessing who Red Chunk actually was.
 
Last edited:
Readers might remember that this Earth-variant is the native world of my version of the old pulp-novel hero Doc Savage. My character Doc Slippage is still busy, over in the Justice League-based sub-reality; but being almost as wealthy as Stony Stork, Doc Slippage has his own business enterprises, which (as with Batman) conduct many genuine charitable activities.

A month or so before the above post, Rennie Hamm, one of Kirk Slippage's most trusted assistants, received an interesting married couple as guests: Master Kam and Mistress Bao, the kung-fu champions who had received special powers fitting their martial style. When the pair and their children emigrated from China, American authorities had promised that they would never be asked to fight against China. Accordingly, they were now approaching an organization which had no government affiliation.

"I am told," said Rennie, "that you wish to take out a loan to start your own kung-fu school. Is there a reason why you didn't ask for an outright grant?"

The husband replied, "It is because, unlike some people who leave one country and enter another, we desire to earn our own way. We want to keep on setting an example of diligence for our sons and daughters."

The administrator nodded. "I applaud your motive, as Doc would also. But you two already have earned consideration, by your outstanding bravery in action against the Awkwardlispian aggressors. Therefore, knowing that Doc will approve of this, I am going to give you the free grant you didn't ask for. Just name a major American city where you would like to run your school, and I'll purchase whatever existing gymnasium or fitness club is available in that city, to serve as your headquarters, with all utilities paid for the next two years."

< < < < < < < < < < < < <

Move time forward, two days after the official unveiling of the Thumpercolts. Kam and Bao, their sons and daughters, and some local martial-arts enthusiasts, were at work setting up the new training facilities in the building purchased for them in Earth-Whichever's version of Des Moines, Iowa.

The only locally-residing Asian person present was also the only earlier-established martial-arts teacher in Des Moines: Mr. Sang Ki-Jung, a teacher of both Taekwondo and Hapkido, and married to a genuine farmer's daughter. Far from resenting the newcomers, Mr. Sang knew of their exploits, and looked up to them. He had offered to subordinate his dojang to theirs, provided that they would let him still teach his own arts at set intervals, to maintain the Korean tradition. The Chinese couple had willingly agreed to this.

After the specialized training furniture was all in place, Mr. Sang addressed Kam: "I never asked you this up to now. Your ability to project energy, and Mistress Bao's ability to redirect energy: can these be taught to others?"

"I'm afraid not. They were imposed upon us by quasi-magical means, which we cannot reproduce. But if, eventually, we can get the use of brain-probing technology, it might be possible for you, and each student, to experience vicariously our own sensations when using our chi powers. This might at least help you to develop your own chi powers."
 
Last edited:
THERE'S MORE TO BE SEEN IN MY HALO-VARIANT. We can't even begin to invent a way for Cortexa to become real so she can marry the Master Champ, until we get past my adaptation of the Fall of Reach (I call it Stretch). For that matter, neither Cortexa nor Master Champ even exists yet at this stage in story-time. And I need to finish crafting my version of how the Covenant in "Halo" rose to replace the Forerunners. Therefore, I pick up the narrative in the star system where the starship Spurting Flame has gone dormant.

% % % % % % % % % % %

Still in the story-only zone, with more than twenty years remaining before the Heyho sub-reality would be promoted to an _existing_ segment of the Never-Stopping Story, a division-size force of Introductory ground troops was defending an Introductory planet called Topzeezee against _former_ Introductory soldiers. The former soldiers were former because they had been changed into non-supernatural zombie-variants by a credibility-straining phenomenon which purported to be zillions of jillions of years old. It was a sort of hive entity, referred to variously by names which would translate into English as the Splash, the Mess, the Vomit, the Overflow, the Scum, and the Grossness.

The Splash-or-Whatever was not an unkillable blob; it needed to be in distinct forms to be able to do anything. But it changed "regular" living things into Splash-creatures very easily, and the victim's personality would be erased, thus nothing to salvage. The spread of this meaningless plague was not so rapid and inexorable as its counterpart in the "Halo" game played on Original Earth. The computer game went in for cosmic disasters which were always even more ultra-huge than ultra-huge; but Copperfox doesn't always agree that bigger is better. Copperfox also remembers the saying, "One death is a tragedy, a million deaths are a statistic."

The defending soldiers (Juggernasties and other species) all carried energy weapons, maybe thirty percent more effective than bullet-guns. The Splash-creatures were by no means invulnerable; but in many cases, an Introductory soldier got monsterized before his buddies _knew_ he was no longer himself. Soldiers thus changed, following Splash instinct, would shoot normals to wound rather than kill. This was not a vampire story; only living hosts were of any use to the Splash.

Still-normal citizens of the Introductory community were flocking to the three spaceports which remained usable. All surviving soldiers from positions already overrun would regroup at the remaining spaceports if possible. The evacuation ships had inboard sensor systems which would identify any Splash-creature getting inside the ship; if the pseudo-zombie succeeded at infecting more passengers, and if it and its "converts" were still alive after a very strict time limit, the ship would self-destruct rather than take off.

A total of seven evacuation ships got clear from the ports on Topzeezee, and laid a course for the nearest Heyho Ring. Two of them followed coordinates to emerge from the connecting Ring close to a regional-capital world of the Introductories. The other five selected the destination Ring which would put them near the star system containing Planet Mororlessa, using onboard hyperdrive for the last leg of the voyage.

The livable planet ahead would be able to accommodate all of these escapees. especially if no humans were left alive.

% % % % % % % % % %

"I love this," giggled Ickylinn, magically watching with her boyfriend. "So _much_ despair, without relief or uplift!"

Tyrone Glass Neilsen caressed her while nodding. "Stories like this, if we could prevent any uplift from sneaking in, would do a fabulous job of suffocating the hope in human spirits." He sobered a little, though. "But this drama-reality is real now, and obviously _wasn't_ all destroyed by the Splash. So if that Master Champ, and the new guy they're calling Major Chief, turn the narrative tide, all our efforts at cultivating philosophical despair could be nullified."

"Of course you're right, darling. But we don't want the One Whom we hate to stomp on us. Whatever interference we attempt will need to be something which doesn't entirely wipe out the established story premise."

"Cheer up, sugar. If any Introductories are still around now that their universe really exists, maybe we can get them fighting each other pointlessly. That would not go against the characteristics established for them as villains."

% % % % % % % % % % %

Resuming the pre-reality, pre-Master-Champ story-action in the Heyhoverse:

Four Spearmint-class light frigates of the United Civilizations Galactic Navy entered the neighborhood of Mororlessa two days before the ships from Topzeezee (unknown to the humans) were due to arrive. Greco Dillard's warp-drive message drones had reached human forces. But there had not been _any_ ships to spare for a mission to this remote system; Introductory attacks had compelled the Navy to use all combatant ships in defense of worlds which _weren't_ in rebellion against the United Civilizations. Only now could an attempt be made to find and recover the Spurting Flame and its crew.

The human ships entered the system on a course where the star would be between them and the inhabited planet. Commander Josette Yamakobo, senior officer of this frigate division, maintained radio silence, because they had to assume that there were hostiles in-system. But helping them was the very latest Galactic Navy advance in stealth tech to foil enemy sensors. At present, it only worked for small ships-- but the Spearmints were small enough to be concealed.
 
Last edited:
>>> Another change of scene, within the same star system........

The Introductory cruiser which had been damaged in an inconclusive battle with Spurting Flame had been repaired enough to resume in-system patrols, but had never found the concealed human warship. It had too few missiles left to dare to waste them on surface bombardment, but as an overhead observation platform, it supported what survived of the Introductory surface army. Since we last looked at Planet Mororlessa, the bad guys had gone from controlling sixty-one percent of the land area, to controlling seventy-three percent. But the remaining human regions had advantageous geographical defenses, like secret caves inside mountains. And the evil aliens here lacked any planet-wrecking super-bombs.

Aristocrat Six and Stone Wolf were still in the fight: unable any longer to sneak from one human-held zone to another, but keeping Introductory forces out of the Chicago-sized area they had been reduced to defending. They could no longer obtain replacement ammunition for any of their modern firearms; this had become too risky for their sympathizers. But their combat armor still worked; they still had their melee weapons; they could use fire bombs and pitfall traps where this did not endanger friendlies; Rocco and Jimmy had furnished Aristocrat with a heavy crossbow and nineteen reusable steel arrows (of which six now remained, each of the other thirteen having slain three or more enemy soldiers)........

....and Wolf still had his prized alien artifact, the Tuning Fork of Death. In the years since the two "hole cards" had lost communication with Greco Dillard's drifting ship, the infrasonic weapon had crippled fifty-four enemy ground vehicles (counting it as a separate crippling if Wolf re-disabled a vehicle which the Introductory troops had restored), and knocked down twenty-one enemy recon drones.

On a day when the two Space Marines were feeling pessimistic about their fate (though never losing their will to fight on), a section of sky beyond the northwestern horizon lit up with fiery rage-- rather as if an orbiting enemy ship had just been blown to bits. A minute later, a heavily encrypted transmission reached the men's helmets, rapidly changing its frequency in a pattern which their helmet receivers could follow. It resolved into a string of code words, which meant: HELP IS COMING.

"Let's join the fun!" exclaimed Aristocrat Six. In all their time stranded on Mororlessa, he and Stone Wolf, wherever they were on any day, had _always_ kept aware of any Introductory installations near them. This, in order to divide the enemy's attention if naval reinforcements finally showed up. Thus, they now hastened to an electronics-repair shop six miles outside the boundary of human-controlled land. This shop had been handed over to the aliens by treasonous humans, one and a half Mororlessan years ago. Now every alien in it was killed by knife or pickaxe, and the two human warriors claimed rayguns which the bad guys wouldn't be needing anymore.

"We can shoot guns again!" Wolf exulted. So they hurried to the Introductory version of a small office building. They burned down every alien who had a gun, then gave the others a minute to flee before destroying the building.
 
Last edited:
Spy drones deployed by the frigate division picked up fleeting imagery of the two armored men beginning to burn down buildings in the same region from which a coded acknowledgement of their hailing signal had been transmitted. Josette Yamakobo joined the cheering on her bridge when everyone realized that these must be the "hole cards." She had already detailed one of her frigates to locate Spurting Flame; her ship and the other two, being confident that no more enemy space combatants were near, executed precision overhead attacks on targets like roads which Introductory troops would probably want to use.

The frigate assigned to keep looking for the older human starship received a pre-recorded signal from Sarcasta, prepared before she departed from the story to become alive in AsaLion's Country. There were so few living people in the hibernation chambers that they could all be transferred to the frigate. It would later be told how the bodies of the dead had been jettisoned to support the deception that Spurting Flame had been wiped out. The awakened spacers wept in remembrance of their shipmates who didn't make it, and wept with gratitude for being retrieved.

Greco Dillard's speculation about why the enemy didn't have bigger forces here made sense to Commander Yamakobo. She, any more than the Office of Naval Espionage, didn't know yet about the Scum, the Mess or whatever; but in a huge universe, there could easily be somebody else fighting the widely-ranging Introductories without the United Civilizations knowing it.

Still, first things first. Confirming the whereabouts of Aristocrat and Wolf, Commander Yamakobo sent off hyperspace messenger drones to update the fleet, then ordered an orbital strike. Having identified a location where there were _only_ Introductory personnel present, the three Spearmints in orbit over Mororlessa expended half of their missile inventory into the heart of that place. Next they descended into Aristocrat and Wolf's territory, and offloaded their Marines, with ground combat vehicles.

The Roadhogs had begun to be built and used two years after the Spurting Flame went to check on Planet Mororlessa. Similar to Original Earth armed Humvees on 21st-century Original Earth, they possessed a special feature: a transparent forward screen (leaving a slot for a rotary cannon), which could survive at least four direct hits by major energy weapons before failing. The frigates landed one at a time, so not all would be grounded and vulnerable at once. Each warship let off its one Roadhog with driver and gunner, plus four or five more Marines, and left useful items too. The items included radio sets, medical kits, and assorted weapons; the weapons included the nearest available substitutes for the guns Aristocrat and Wolf had started out with.

Commander Yamakobo never disembarked from her ship. Her one direct word to Aristocrat and Wolf was: "Uncertain how soon reinforcements can get here. Use your own judgment now, but you know that it's important to keep your momentum, and keep the enemy off balance!"

The Roadhogs got underway; Aristocrat Six and Stone Wolf each hitched a ride on one of them, while the Marines left on foot used their powered armor to keep up. After advancing a few kilometers, the sergeant in ground command judged the moment for Aristocrat to bail out and resume being a sniper. Wolf stayed with the Marines, making sure they understood what he could contribute with his alien artifact. After shattering an Introductory ground force, the U.C. personnel got in touch with a dozen Mororlessan humans who had not been part of the previous rebellion. One ship's doctor, Spencer Komodo by name, provided rapid hypnotic instruction in the use of Roadhogs, after which the three fighting vehicles were gifted to the locals.

Higher command in the Galactic Navy had realized that Captain Dillard's shipboard artificial intelligence would probably have expired. The frigate sent over to the Spurting Flame brought a replacement A/I, projecting a masculine persona. "Flyboy" took the appearance of a World War Two military pilot in leather outfit, and once installed, he began assessing the ship's damage. Materials obtainable on the planet could be used in the needed repairs.

Meanwhile, the freshly-equipped "hole cards" renewed their attrition campaign on land still held by the Introductories. But this time, they prioritized capturing enemy officers. When presented to Commander Yamakobo before she took her Spearmints into hyperspace alongside Spurting Flame, the captives (belonging to more than one species) were electronically interrogated.

And _this_ was how United Civilizations personnel first heard about the existence of The Splash, which explained why the Introductories had not lately been able to allocate all their forces to fighting against humans and human-friendly races. But the prisoners, especially the round-bodied Bonkalubs, refused even to listen to any suggestion that they might join forces with "inferior beings" against a common threat.
 
Last edited:
Justified League thread: I've delayed the Admiral Skrawn business long enough!

The Dice-Aract, which had temporarily changed Kirk Slippage into a lizard, was entrusted to Matthew Carver in Wyoming, whose autism rendered him best suited to control it. Atomic Scalp was now stationed at Restoration Ranch to protect Matthew, and Superhottie pledged to check on them frequently.

On Zazdub World, which was apprehensive of an attack by Duke Terror, the means of defense were accumulating rapidly. The heroes on Urth, and their associated scientists, had moved fast to equip the vaguely-humanoid natives. A Zazdub male named Konklag, proving to be serious in spirit and a quick learner, had been titled a colonel by consensus of all available elders among the natives. The recruits he assembled became the first all-native infantry to be armed with beam weapons. Senphatorian humans instructed these volunteers in the use and maintenance of those advanced weapons. Of those off-worlder allies who had nothing like military experience, nearly all recommended that Konklag's regiment be parceled out to three or four parts of the planet; but the veterans replied that unit cohesion in a new regiment would suffer terribly by splitting it up.

Protectors now assembled on Zazdub World included Superdude, the mystic Dreamtime Chieftain, Golden Rakshasa with a squad of Indian Army elite soldiers, and the speedster Exohern. There were five Green Flashlights now: Ryan Pebbles of Seedubb, Mike Deep Swimmer of Urth, the BIG female turtle-ish Gramsuli who had been on other Earth-variants, the insectoid female Zaz-Chispa, and Fojadosh Ludpid, who resembled a tree sloth, only he was physically vigorous. For aquatic situations, Black Stingray and Howie Maui were on hand, with Gramsuli ready to join them. Nonwhite Lightning Jeffrey Pierson and his wife Black Parakeet maintained a guard station of their own, with a few of Kuparr Daku's Ostralian riflemen.

OF COURSE Preston "Truthside" Vincent was on Zazdub World, with his new wife, the former Whiskey Dallas. Also of course, Preston's son by his departed Erica was in good hands back on Awkwardlisp: the hands of his friends Emangu and Tarvili, with additional reformed War Witches. Some volunteers had just come over to Zazdub World from what used to be Twerpseid's world: twenty males and females of a species with lots of tentacles. Persons of this race had often held high-tech jobs for Twerpseid; now they would happily operate any electronic equipment King Truthside needed them to operate.

Headfemale Fislillo, the first native Zazdub leader to befriend visitors from Urth, coordinated civilian scientists employed by the Justified League, teaching science to young Zazdubs.
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

Meanwhile, parsecs away, Silver Surfqueen had found & joined Duke Terror, Traynrekk and Space Amoeba, to assist Imperial Viceroy Skrawn & General Phastlane for the invasion of a world close to Urth's neighborhhood.

Also meanwhile, Smite Fighter pilot Wiley Hightrail had fled from General Phastlane's forces, taking storm trooper Flynn Omega with him. Both of these men were unwilling to murder defenseless people without cause, which made them expendable in the eyes of the more sadistic among their superior officers. Wiley's ship being hyper-capable (like the Republic's A-Frame fighter-bombers), the two defectors now planned to bear warning to the Empire's intended victims. And Wiley knew how to find Zazdub World.

But Wiley also knew tactics.

"We're going to evade, Flynn, right now."

"What, are they chasing us already?"

"They will be. There are specially-powered characters now huddling with the Imperial Viceroy. They'll have guessed where we're going, and a sideways jump is our only chance to avoid recapture. I'll go normal-space to the side, breaking off our hyperspace trail, then resume hyper-travel for Zazdub World. It might make us late to the Zazdub star system; but we won't do any good to the Zazdubs if we're killed before we reach them."
 
Last edited:
"I can reach the Zazdub system sooner than anyone here except Terror could make it. And if not winning the whole battle by myself, I can certainly soften them up for you."

Silver Surfqueen merely tolerated Traynrekk the Trampler and Space Amoeba, but respected both Duke Terror and Admiral /Viceroy Skrawn. Hearing the news of two deserters getting away, she had respected those leaders enough to speak to them first before giving chase as a glory-hogging move.

"It's all right with me," said the Chisskurdean overlord, "But I'll ask you to let me first get my first two battle squadrons underway. They shouldn't spoil your sudden strike. They'll spread out right and left. I'll want them close enough to the objective that they can close in on Zazdub while your attack still has them in disarray. I'll ask Duke Terror to accompany the left-hand squadron, Space Amoeba to accompany the right-hand squadron, and Traynrekk to hang back with the rest of my fleet."

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Wiley and Flynn had enough head start that, with their cautionary sidestep in space, Silver Surfqueen didn't find them. Not even when they transmitted a subspace-radio alert to Zazdub World. King Truthside's tentacled technicians picked up the warning, judged it to be legitimate, and sent an acknowledgement without revealing any facts about the composition of their defense. At this time, Truthside was on an asteroid in the Zazdub star system, inspecting one of many early-warning sensor arrays. Once advised of the outside contact, he wormholed back to the station which had received the alert.

"Try to raise them again." Once voice contact was restored, the monarch of Awkwardlisp linked himself onto the frequency. "Defectors, this is King Truthside of Awkwardisp, an ally to the Republic of Lots of Worlds, to the Justified League of Urth, to the Starship Grunts of the Human Federation, AND to the Zazdub race. Please stand by for pickup, similar to accepting a tractor beam; I want you to arrive safely."

"Acknowledged," replied Wiley Hightrail. "We are continuing present vector."

Very soon, Truthside materialized in space, one mile to the right of the incoming ship. He had by now mastered the skill of emerging into normal space WITH THE SAME INERTIAL VELOCITY as an object he was interested in. Thus, the defectors' vessel didn't shoot past him. Once he knew the two men were ready for pickup, he took hold of their ship, and used his dimensional tube to bring them safely onto Zazdub World. Zazdub workers gathered curiously for a look at the newcomers.

"Mister Hightrail, Mister Omega, I'm grateful for your threat assessment. The unusually tall woman approaching us is my wife Whiskey. The dark-skinned man beside her is Kuparr Daku, a trusted friend who is much like the up-siders of The Fuss who are known to you. The other human with her is Adam Straightup, who has no special powers but has broad knowledge on many subjects. These three, and some of our native technicians, will transcribe everything you are prepared to report. I must confer now with our strongest individuals, including energy manipulators known as Green Flashlights."

Flynn Omega got on well with the Dreamtime Chieftain, and so joined the shaman's personal infantry detachment. Wiley Hightrail's fighter-bomber could function in atmosphere, so in combat he would give these good guys air cover.

Truthside could essentially teleport virtually anywhere; but the Green Flashlights and Superdude could fly much faster than he while STAYING IN three-dimensional space. The Tonkrypian took to the sky in search of enemies. With him went Fojadosh Ludpid and Zaz-Chispa. Note that the insectoid Flashlight's name containing a syllable which was also in the planet's name, is purely coincidence.
 
Last edited:
Zazdub World had already looked like a suitable place for an Imperial outpost, a bulwark against forces of goodness. But the very fact of its having super-powered protectors made it more, not less important to the Grand Admiral and Imperial Viceroy. Skrawn realized that it was already too late to pretend that Urth and Senphatori didn't exist. Those planets were friendly with the Republic of Lots of Worlds, and would hardly ignore the existence of the Empire of Evil Badness.

Fitting the Imperial warships with red-light beacons, intended to reduce the strength of a Tonkrypian, was nearly complete. Thuglyfe Skrawn understood the importance of maximizing any advantage, so he had assigned technicians to create very compact light emitters, also putting out red light. Skrawn's idea was, in case they got lucky and seriously weakened Superdude even briefly, they would try to force one or more emitters down his throat, to KEEP him weak. The Space Amoeba believed it could also enhance this plan, by passing the shipboard red lights through its own huge translucent body, possibly surprising Superdude. The deep-space creature's physical substance was not exactly indestructible; but it had such variability of density, and regeneration ability, that Superdude would have a LOT of difficulty destroying it.

Leaving no base uncovered, Thuglyfe Skrawn also inquired whether any new Popquizzitors were up to speed in their down-side skills. There were some, but they could not get to a rendezvous with Skrawn's fleet fast enough. Skrawn messaged them to come out anyway, and to bring along some Chipotli combat robots. There could still be work for them, pacifying the (hopefully) conquered Zazdub World.

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

In a coastal fishing village beside the widest sea on Zazdub World, Black Stingray, Howie Maui and Gramsuli were conversing with native fishermen. One Zazdub female named Bujilso, whose chief occupation was drying and smoking edible fish, was educating them about what aquatic animals might be dangerous to them. None of these heroes enjoyed Moistureman's ability to command sea creatures.

Gramsuli changed the subject: "Bujilso, have any of your people ever managed to extract minerals from the sea floor?"

"Not that I ever heard of. You know that we have no such industry as you have in your own worlds. Are you thinking that the distant enemies want to use the minerals from underwater?"

"If they do take over your world, they surely would mine ore. But it can't be their main purpose. They have plenty of available places to dig for iron and such. It's your LOCATION that matters: like occupying a mountain pass through which traffic often passes. They want another pier to dock their ships."

Conversations like this had become routine everywhere on Zazdub World. It was all part of helping the Zazdubs get used to being part of a great big universe. Heroes like the reptilian Green Flashlight wished forlornly that this education could proceed without the classrooms being corpse-carpeted battlefields.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top