Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

The ship's company of the dreadnought had welcomed a new specialist: Haxxadoff, one of the many Spaced-Out Guild members who had willingly sworn allegiance to House Ashtrayides. Importantly, Haxxadoff had gained proficiency at operating the Spacebullion retroactive temporal scanner. When the great ship settled into a parking orbit, colonial chief executive Boone Crockett was ferried up from the planetary capital. I remind my readers that the "past-oscope" can only reveal past events if someone involved in using it has a personal interest in the information to be uncovered.

Joining Haxadoff and Rajah Ramrocket on the dreadnought's bridge, Boone was walked through the surprisingly simple activation process. He certainly had a vested interest in conditions on the planet whose elected leader he was.

The background history of "Choking Valley" was played back. One of the most important points was the disclosure that the Glukks possessed a weapon type derived from the slicing beams of Shadow vessels in the Babylon Five TV series. "Those weapons," Rajah explained to Boone as they watched, "would open many starship types like a ration can. The deflectors mounted on ships of the Republic of Lots of Worlds -- and on our new dreadnought-- would fend off Glukk shots at least for a while; the energy shield of a Green Flashlight or a Heart Sapphire would do the same. But no warships known to me can GET INSIDE Bazookadar; and the few artifact-powered superheroes currently on the scene might not be enough to protect a strike force moving into the evil fog."

Perry Kushun was within hearing, and interjected: "Anti-matter weapons might open a passage big enough to let in-atmosphere combat craft into Bazookadar, but I will resist any order to do that. Thousands of living creatures would be sure to die at the location of a breakthrough. I once was nearly a party to genocide on a planetary scale; the Creator will never forgive me if, being pardoned once, I accept any such plan again."

The colony leader clapped the signalman on the shoulder, then faced Haxxadoff. "Does the spearhead for a landing in Choking Valley have to be a warship? I'm not from the Dune-derived Galactic Empire, but I know that Naughtygator jump-ships are the next best thing to absolutely indestructible. And isn't the open atmosphere inside Bazookadar spacious enough that a jump-ship could materialize in there?"

"Yes, with caution, it could be done." Looking at Perry: "And a displacement wave would occur, preventing any nearby birds from dying by molecule-merging with the ship. Our jump-ships mount no weapons, but it might be enough if one delivers the invasion force within striking distance. I remain in touch with Alec Hurdygurdy on Greedy Crime; he could furnish a landing force of Ashtrayides and Srirachian ground troops to bring the fight to the enemy."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Keldasura the "tame" Wingdinger, and the characters last reported as being with her, maintained surveillance near the border of the Glukks' enclave while the invasion force was being equipped and brought to Freesoil. Alec Hurdygurdy was not needed to remain all the time on the now-cleansed former Snarkonnen base-planet; so he cheerfully assumed command of the liberation force being assigned to Freesoil. None of these troops carried the Dune-concept personal energy shields; using those when the enemy was firing beam weapons would be suicidal. But body armor and bullet-guns manufactured on Federal Earth for the Starship Grunts were available.

Tiptikditpip, meanwhile, contacted the Janitors of the Universe, requesting additional Flashlights to provide shielding which would not explode when hit by energy weapons. The first available hero proved to be the most suitable one they could have asked for: Twishdok, the one who looked like a Velociraptor. Twishdok had been among the defenders of Earth-Whichever when Trippenwonk's forces invaded; later, he had gone to the Zaire-Congo of that Earth, to stop Marxist gangsters from duplicating Awkwardlispian rayguns. When the Janitors precipitated Twishdok's coming to Freesoil, all of the Freesoilers understood at once that, if this were called for, he could blend right into the scenery in a neo-prehistoric environment.

Shortly before Haxxadoff was expected to enter the star system aboard a Spaced-Out Guild jump-ship, two more energy- wielders arrived to join the action. One was a female insectoid who had been one of the Flashlights on Jersey Earth when the Flashlight Corps was laboring to undo the unintentional harm done there by Heart Sapphires. Wagdorda was around the same size as Tiptikditpip, but of a different species. The other, the essentially human Yee-Mo-Mee-Baji, was one of the Heart Sapphires who had acquired some belated good sense on Jersey Earth. She was the physical type of woman who could look very good with a moderately full-figured body.

A tentative ground-combat plan proposed that Bill Redvest, Twishdok, Tiptikditpip, Yee-Mo-Mee-Naji and Wagdorda would form a front line, their combined Flashlight/Sapphire energy shielding the infantry (including jetpack users) against the expected Shadything- type slicer beams. Lylah and Exmaknor with their Fuss powers, and John Cardsharper with his analogous telepathic talent, hoped to sense where individual Glukks actually were, despite the evil aliens' distortion camouflage. Versaderma would assume some suitable animal shape, to fight beside the Ashtrayides troops (and Boone Crockett, who felt an obligation to be in on the fight).

On the day of the offensive, when the good-aligned beings came within three miles of the boundary of the land held by the Glukks the two Jedi-equivalents found that they could not localize the faint mind-traces of the enemy. John Cardsharper, however, was able to determine where the nearest Glukks were, that there were about thirty of them at the location he had sensed..... and that these Glukks were stationed at, or near to, a heavy weapons emplacement.

There was no optimism about results of a parley. The heroes knew that the Glukks were too dishonorable to keep their word on any kind of truce.
Nonetheless, there were proprieties entailed in being on the side of good.

John and Lylah Cardsharper did a mind-meld, the better to transmit a call for surrender to the horribly wicked aliens. When the energy- shields of Twishdok and Yee-Mo-Mee-Nai were shaken by a beam-cannon barrage, the good guys could be satisfied that they had done what they could to be peaceful. Now Tiptikditpip transmitted the call for Haxxadoff's jump-ship to enter Bazookadar.
 
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"Forty seconds to jump!" Haxxadoff notified Alec Hurdygurdy.

Sixteen slicer- beams flailed vainly at the impenetrable hull of the hyper-hopping transport. Twenty Srirachian warriors and thirty-one Ashtrayides soldiers (counting Alec) were standing by. The strike force had borrowed a trick from the Starship Grunts: seventy decoy mannequins with programmed jetpacks went out the mouth of the Naughtygator transport, mingling with the flesh- and-blood warriors And for as much of the descent phase as possible, real and simulated soldiers had the Guild ship hovering between them and the ground. In the brief interval when they were in the Glukks' line of fire, only two of the descending fighters were killed, one each of men from Srirachiss and Waterpark.

Before the airborne element landed, the warriors on ground level cut loose with rocket launchers, bows-- and in Boone Crockett's case, a very high-powered hunting rifle which had brought down a few Creepycrawlids back in the day. Also a rifle in John Cardsharper's case. The blurring effect produced by Glukks made it impossible to see directly which projectiles hit something; but Lylah and Exmaknor could feel through the Fuss that at least half a dozen Glukks had been slain and others incapacitated.

The Green Flashlights and the one Sapphire Sister were holding well against the Glukk weapons-- until one slicer-beam crew flanked them. A single shot instantly slew Boone Crockett, Tiptikditpip, and three of the Ashtrayides soldiers, also severing Bill Redvest's legs below the knees. The evil aliens would have claimed still more lives, if not for Keldasura. The good-aligned Wingdinger dived onto the three gunners, killed them with her beak, then dragged their weapon toward Alec Hurdygurdy. Alec knew enough about modern weapons that he was immediately certain he could operate it. Beckoning one soldier to him, the Ashtrayides general moved the energy-artillery piece into the gap left by the ant-shaped Green Flashlight's death. Exmaknor's Fuss power was closing the blood vessels in Bill's amputated calves, as gunmen on their side kept up the attack against the Glukks.

Twishdok went full-power now, generating something like a hundred-meter-long broom. He didn't have to see every Glukk individually, to knock many of them off their feet. Seeing that her husband's injuries were being treated, Versaderma turned into an oversized cheetah, dashed headlong into the enemy ranks, and ripped open what seemed to be the throats of half a dozen Glukks who had been tipped over by Twishdok's energy-broom.

The still-standing Srirachians furiously charged into the gap which Twishdok and Versaderma had opened. Haxxadoff shifted his hovering jump-ship toward the enemy rear, then set it down. Just like that, the Glukks found an unbreakable barrier BEHIND them, cutting off retreat. Boxed in, the horrid monsters now had less benefit from their semi- invisibility. Green Flashlight Wagdorda flew past the scene of butchery, to capture some of the rear-area Glukks alive. A request was sent to Planet Toofah-Roff, to send some strong Fuss-users who could mentally dominate the prisoners.

Perry Kushun, Denzel Powder and some of the other tech-savvy good guys, would now have plenty of alien hardware to study.

In days following, Tarp Kanvas was elected as the successor to Boone Crockett. "Tamed" Lazytaxie scientists from Planet Waterpark were summoned to regrow Bill Redvest's legs. In weeks following, Keldasura would find a mate among Wingdingers who had made peace with humanity. Their eventual son would be named Tiptikditpip.
 
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BE PATIENT WITH EXTENSIVE CATCH-UP EXPOSITION ON PUNKSTEEMA.

In the kingdom of Jeltua, the closest ally of Mifdola. a new airship had been built. Named Cloud Wagon, it was smaller and simpler than Queen's Favor, but was efficient. The Loi-Jeltua government was interested in expanding the friendly contacts they and the Mifdolans had built with nations beyond the north pole. Not duplicating the itinerary of Kring Dakamish and company, Captain Veskamet Jolut was bound for Upper and Lower Wenzeppu.

It was known that Diego Smith, youngest of Sir Ronald's recent apprentices, was back home now in Lower Wenzeppu, employed seriously as a tinsmith. Be it known that Wenzeppuans (Lower OR Upper) don't speak English; but the young Towerman's name IS phonetically "Diego Smith" because creative license. Be it also remembered how Ronald of Goliad always maintained that gunslinger- knights should learn skills apart from combat methods. Only a few people close to Diego knew that he had acquired the nickname "Skull Driller" in Samplibam, after slaying the murderer Prendok Fegsor in a fair duel.

Besides generic airmen and armed guards, Veskamet was accompanied by Vicar Tegmorsh son of Tegloth, Mifdola's only full-time Christian cleric. Tegmorsh was by now married to Mellow Druidess Ranwyn Brightpetal. Copperfox reminds you that the Mellow Druids, though technically not Christian clergy, did in fact acknowledge the actual Biblical God. Prince-Consort Felipe of Mifdola had officiated at Tegmorsh and Ranwyn's wedding.

One more distinct character along for the ride was the Reslagorian laborer Jarsken Bowdrie, the man who had had a friendly fistfight with Sir Ronald. Enough time had passed since then, that Jarsken and Ronald had recovered from the injuries which they had inflicted on each other without hatred. Also, the elapsed time had seen the Captains of Skilled Labor getting well established in multiple nations including Hukshem and Bamulica. Jarsken, being now a "Captain" himself, was interested in promoting the movement beyond the arctic zone.

At a provisioning stopover in Upper Wenzeppu, Veskamet and company picked up assorted news of Lower Wenzeppu and the neighboring land of Limzeppu. One point of interest concerned the Gahurrite rifleman Roy Crinkly, who had been on the side of good in the Battle of Oxhide Spring. Roy had received the Towerman anointing, and was often seen in Lower Wenzeppu, visiting with Diego's family and friends.

Jarsken remarked to his companions at one point: "Since young Mister Smith is also a craftsman, maybe God would allow him to be a 'Captain' in addition to being a Towerman!" Tegmorsh, Ranwyn and Veskamet all replied that they saw no reason why this could not occur.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
The Smith family didn't have space to house the air-traveling visitors, but a spacious inn was available. Captain Jolut found local businessmen willing to set up a takeoff-landing square for Cloud Wagon, in return for his describing its design and operation to them. Conferences expanded into talking about nations east of the Wenzeppues: countries which were not regularly visited by the prominent Silnarpian sky-merchants. Tegmorsh and Ranwyn, meanwhile, made inquiries about any activity in this region by either Frantic Druids or personnel of the Two Rivers Evil Business Corporation. And Jarsken Bowdrie talked with various locals about the state of railway construction and telegraph service in the region.

Eight days after the airship had landed, a local peddler named Victor Shelsidan, who traded with peaceful nomads to the east, persuaded Roy and Jarsken to join him on a side excursion, determining whether potential existed for making one or more trade routes more productive.

Four days out, they ran across one tribal group which had many elderly members who could not easily travel. Victor, able to communicate in their sign language, found that these nomads didn't want to cast the elders out to starve, but were close to being compelled to do so. Victor turned toward Jarsken and said, "I'm going to outright GIVE them all of the food items I was going to sell; then we can use our guns to bring down some wild game for them."

Jarsken Bowdrie nodded. "And, with some grunt-work assistance, I can build two or three cabins which will protect the most vulnerable of them from cold weather better than their tents can do."

Being a recently-initiated Captain of Skilled Labor, Jarsken surprised even himself with how well his cabin-building turned out. He and Victor lost time and money in the short term; but not everybody who subscribes to free enterprise is a heartless, greedy bandit-capitalist like the Two Rivers people in Reslagor. And the goodwill Victor's party gained would bring rewards in the long run. Sometimes heroes don't have to fight anybody.

* * * * * * * * * * *
 
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NEW SCENE, considerably west of Lower Wenzeppu and Samplibam:

I remind the readers that an airborne expedition including Donnie Tonka and Ysidro Lopez overcame a bandit regime in Udraski. These bandits had no connection with Jaheg-Jorod the necromancer. The mercantile nation of Silnarp, however, had a ruling elite class which WAS voluntarily in Jaheg- Jorod's hire. By means of his Reslagorian agents, the immortal fiend was equipping Silnarp, and intended to equip the crooked noble houses in Samplibam, with a sort of gatling gun. Count Omar MacFrancis and Countess Cleopatra MacFrancis were at the forefront of collaboration with the zombie-maker.

One tryout of rattle-guns was "live": murdering a party of bison hunters from Flodmarth. Jaheg-Jorod had animated the victims, merely so the corpses would walk to a remote place to be buried.

Jonawiku the ronin-archer, still doing reconnaissance, had temporarily split from the Field-Master and the rest of their party (Tengu included), to probe a modest range of stony hills. His only companion was a lost dog he had rescued while still with Nefekor. Similar to an Original Earth border collie, the near-adult female had suffered a broken leg; Jonawiku had efficiently splinted the leg, and had carried his new dog over his shoulders for almost a tenday. Coming to a wide creek, he had built a raft; since Nefekor was leading the others upstream, Jonawiku splinted his dog's leg and they rode the current.

Between the fact of eating fish during the creek voyage, and the dog having a crooked tail, the quasi-Japanese Towerman decided to name his dog Fish Hook. Passing by two small nomad camps, he noticed that both groups had similar dogs, but no one claimed to be Fish Hook's owner.

Soon afterward, a bird-headed tengu, a male who has not figured in the narrative before now, came to a landing on the creek bank and hailed the archer. "Towerman Jonawiku, son of Mofiruzo, sometime husband of the ever-honored Lady Shuhiro! My name is Dijimoyat; my family dwells outside the north border of the Shogunate. After southern friends filled us in on your most recent adventures, I resolved to meet you, and to become the latest member of the Tengu Nation to assist in your quest."

Jonawiku rendered a palm-to-palm salute. "May Haruyaso bless and reward you, my sky-roaming friend." (To remind my readers, "Haruyaso" refers to Actual God in His fullness as the Trinity.) "My longbow is at your service. Tell me, is there news of Houses Yagahodo and Inomura?" The ronin had named the two noble clans which had been especially friendly to Ronald of Goliad and his comrades.

"All is well with them, and the latest marriage alliance between them adds to the general goodwill. What is more, the new revolvers are being integrated into battlefield tactics in training."

"Hmm, and what about Neridim Yubiwaza?" Jonawiku referred to the top armorer of House Burakarut. Jonawiku knew of that man's existence, but was unaware of something which the omniscient narrator knows: that Neridim was in league with Jaheg-Jorod. Since Dijimoyat was not the omniscient narrator, he had to admit: "I'm not the omniscient narrator, so I don't know what Master Yubiwaza is up to lately. I do know, however, that his hired men have been running his craft hall without him, and he has been glimpsed beyond the northwest border."

Something none of the good guys knew about Neridim was that he was provided with occasional teleport hops by Jaheg-Jorod, precisely to keep the gunsmith from getting caught.

While they were getting better acquainted, Dijimoyat spoke words over Fish Hook, accelerating the healing of her damaged leg.

* * * * * * * * * * *
 
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The scene changes.....

Wyatt Hickok, the Towerman who had spent years in suspended animation starting before the Punksteeman plotline, had lately traversed about half of the planet going westward, much of the way along the Wellvernian coast. At one stage, Wyatt and his young mentorees had helped to thwart a new undead outbreak. Of the young knights, Ilya Trostel from Vodranor had already gained his knighthood while fighting beside Sir Ronald; Lagmarosk Mezdatch, the son of a road inspector, and Frethric Belgus, the son of a forester, were enlisted much later on the southern continent.

Much farther along, it was Frethric who was badly hurt at sea, fighting the Fishing Line Islanders who attacked Perdida Fortescue's merchant steamer Leaping Swordfish. Northman Burzu Yunsh of the Sogmilla tundra-dwellers was in on that action. The retaliatory naval campaign organized by George Rothermill of Tablanor had visited harsh retribution upon the pirates. As we catch up with "present time," Frethric still was on a long rest break with Ilya's relatives in Vodranor. Ilya himself, and Lagmarosk, headed northwest with Wyatt for a new adventure.

Recent months had seen international collaboration on increasing telegraph continuity. Lines had been laid easily enough through Brishlo and Brishdar, the sister nations which had been aided by Bamulican soldiers against the Bloody Diggers. It's just coincidence that so many names begin with B. The mountainous land of Bavrid was, naturally, a more difficult piece of geography for telegraph lines than most countries. Lagmarosk and Ilya, neither of them a mountaineer, accompanied their teacher into the mountains, where they would offer their services for the security of the Loi-Bavrid telegraph expansion.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sergeant Rovakel, a Loi-Bavrid soldier acquainted with Ronald of Goliad, cheerfully welcomed the latest gunslinger-knights to cross his nation's border. "Sir Wyatt Hickok, I know tales of your deeds. Sir Ilya, I trust you are doing your part guiding young Sir Lagmarosk along. When Shugdil and Shugsem heard that Towermen were coming, they scrambled to offer their mountain-guide services." The men Rovakel named, a father and son respectively, had formerly assisted Sir Ronald in finding evidence of Jaheg-Jorod's activity in the mountains.

"Sir Wyatt, have you spoken any time recently with Rizlaya Tohir?" asked Shugdil, referring to the good-aligned sorceress who was an advisor to the widely-respected General William Seldunin in Felruda.

"We didn't pass anywhere near Prethlonstead on our way here," Wyatt replied, referring to the Felrudean capital. "But it isn't a bad idea. Do you have a working telegraph line to there?"

"From any place near here," said Shugsem, "we can only directly contact one of their border stations."

Wyatt nodded. "You should do that much-- in case Mistress Tohir isn't already scanning events out this way."

Lagmarosk tugged at his mentor's sleeve. "Sir Wyatt, shouldn't we proceed with investigations regardless?"

"So we shall. Master Shugdil, is any specific location where you particularly suspect meddling by evil forces? If so--lead on."

There was, and the mountain guides did.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
In the time zone which included the land of Hukshem, T'Pinnok Zur slept late on the morning which was early afternoon in Bavrid. This enabled the dream- seer to discover from a distance what Sir Wyatt was looking for. While he still was asleep, he psychically communicated with Rizlaya Tohir, so she would be able to pass the information to the Towermen.

Jaheg-Jorod had indeed begun meddling with telegraph service in that part of the world.
 
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Ronald and Zoralee, with Zoralee's brother and sister-in-law, were living as more-than-welcome guests of the Pril family, while both Zoralee and Judy were going through their pregnancies. Billyboy Jeralo the good-aligned werebeast was part of what kept the household safe against foes. Ronald's trainee D'Kovo, D'Kovo's Smoke Maiden sister Razibi, the three Nizozuan girls, and other prospective guardians constituted a formidable bulwark against any foes. Troopers of the Malgriff Hussars and the Sagrum Rangers, members of the Captains of Skilled Labor, and curious inquirers from nearby Kikoro, were always dropping in.

* * * * * * * * * * *
"Hello, Master and Mistress Pril," said Zeldie Forsype, a young Reslagorian woman who had begun receiving Smoke Maiden training with Jillian Shard. "I have good news for you! For you yourselves, and for the neighborhood."

"Is it about your martial training?" asked the lady of the estate. "Or about the Captains?"

"Both, Mistress Pril. Remember the Reslagorian gunsmith Gordon Septimus? He has received the Skilled Labor anointing; and as it concerns gun-making, he believes he has figured out the new gunpowder."

"What new gunpowder is that?"

Zeldie reflexively gazed all around. "It is rumored that, in widely separated lands, there have been violent incidents involving an explosive substance more powerful than the gunpowder we know. If that new powder exists, the chivalrous orders need to obtain it. Mister Septimus is experimenting now, trying to determine what ingredients are needed."

D'Vargut Pril now spoke: "But what if the explosive improvement is magical?"

"Sir, you know that Captains of Skilled Labor enjoy supernormal intuition about matters of their own skill set. Mister Septimus is convinced that the new gunpowder's merits are purely chemical, and that given time, he can duplicate the formula. Whenever he succeeds, he intends to make his product available at no cost for all Towermen and Smoke Maidens."

* * * * * * * * * * *
Wildroot Seedoil the Mellow Druidess, who included midwifing in her toolbox, had been monitoring Zoralee Goliad's pregnancy. Her husband, who had for years been the Last Towerman, had TWO sons on the way: fraternal twins, according to Wildroot.

"Ronald, my darling, I mean it: I want you to name both boys. The Jeralo ancestry can be honored by Billyboy and Judy's children, and by LATER children that I'll bear for you. Spill it, what do you want to call the twins?"

After a serious kiss, Ronald replied: "Whichever boy comes out first will be named Gareth, for my maternal grandfather. The other will be named for my father Mellacarth."

"So if I later bear one more son, will he be named Jessruf?"

"No, he won't. My father's father dishonored our bloodline by numerous bad deeds. THAT is why I go by '--of Goliad,' instead of a definite surname. My father was so ashamed of HIS father, that he dropped the last name as an unclean thing. And Brewster of Goliad, whom I have mentioned to you, has a similar cause to surname himself after our native land."
 
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All right, enough time has passed. Let's join Giles Magg, the Goulash clone of Duke Neato the Pure-Hearted and Generally Likeable. He needs to deal with magical Wendigoes who originated in the Canada of Mediumgard Earth.

In the Galactic Jalapeno Empire based on Frank Herbert's uber-pessimistic fiction, female wielders of Jalapeno power usually disliked the mostly-male Order of Mentalcats: more or less the classic friction between emotion and logic. Among the mystical women, Penny Jezebels were sometimes evil, while Hotblood Matrons were _invariably_ evil, unless outside influence turned them away from wickedness. But it so happened that good- aligned characters (including superheroes from Seedubb) _had_ persuaded quite a few Hotbloods to repent of badness.

Narzississa the Hotblood Matron, with other impenitent harpies, had stolen one of the latest non-Guild-owned starships, and had migrated to the habitable backwater planet Vojodren. Some humans dwelt there, but they were of no importance to Narzississa, who had set up camp very far from them. There she and her sisters had gotten together with a male Mentalcat called Piper Dizeeze, who had built a high-grade robot named Ironhide. This very fact went against the Empire's prohibition against artificial intelligence, but made Piper a natural co-belligerent in the cause of evil badness. The Mentalcat and his robot had already designed and built an operational Starhatch; but lacking either detailed star charts or the aid of a Naughtygator, Piper could not program his wormhole-gate to reach any place not already familiar to him.

Narzississa possessed a highly detailed astrographic database, because don't let the plotline get bogged down. Her collaboration with Piper Dizeeze was pretty much like the partnership of Sorceress Ickylinn with Tyrone Glass Nielsen. In time, Narzississa's clairvoyance and Piper's deductive powers determined that one certain Starhatch (the one in the Argentina of Mediumgard Earth) could gather in fellow evildoers to help them do evil stuff. She told him that Ironhide and follow-on robots needed to possess compact flamethrowers, because burning would be the correct threat with which to command the creatures.

This point in time was not long after good-aligned Naughtygators transported the speed-powered hero Giles Magg, with a squad of Srirachian warriors under Sub-Chief Punchout, to Planet Bakwudza, where a wise old lady named Sally Porter governed the solitary town of Toehold.

To keep things moving, the mighty Hopecrusher known as Inexorable Trash communicated with Narzississa and Piper. Of particular interest, he told them: "I can relocate an existing Starhatch from far away to another planet in your own galactic region, Bakwudza. The Goulash clone of Neato Ashtrayides is there now, trying to make himself useful to the colonists. When the inhuman creatures I am enlisting arrive on Bakwudza, you can save everybody there by bringing the creatures under your own control."

Piper asked, "Do you want us to take our ship to Bakwudza, or just use the Starhatch?"

"Use the ship, if it can deliver at least six action-ready combat robots. Do not immediately let the Bakwudzans know that you have a Starhatch; you may want to let them think you found them by chance. Giles Magg, the clone, has abilities which would make him useful in your service, but he'll be powerless to stop the Wendigoes, which is what they are called."

"Should I try to summon more Hotblood Matrons here to join us?" asked Narzississa.

"Yes, if you can reach them. I know your ability to use The Chatter. The Wendigoes are not easy to dominate; but if you have a major cumulative mental force to use on them, you might make it unnecessary for Master Dizeeze's robots to make an example by incinerating a Wendigo or two."

Narzississa's junior sisters powered up the subspace radio for an attempt to call other Hotbloods in other star systems.

\ = \ = \ = \ = \ = \ = \

Sally Porter, the more-or-less mayor of Toehold, was a widow with four daughters. Of these, all but the youngest had husbands. The fourth daughter, Zabreela Porter, was nineteen Earth-years old, and the least attractive of the four siblings. But she wasn't ugly; if they were tens, she was not less than a seven. And she was the smartest of them; her happiest childhood memories were of joining her father in mapping out plots of land and planning the best use for them.

When Giles Magg had appeared on Bakwudza and told the settlers who he was, he found that they had heard of him. Zabreela's three sisters, while faithful to their husbands, had been emotionally moved by the story of a Goulash duplicate who couldn't help feeling an echo of the love his template had felt for Lady Jazzica. Some _single_ women in Toehold were more explicit in their sympathy for the handsome, courtly Quickness Force user. Zabreela took a liking to Giles, but was in no haste to try to charm and attract him. Still, she involved herself in her mother's conversations with Giles about what services he might perform.

The first idea was logical enough, once they confirmed that Giles wore shoes which, designed not to wear out from super-swift running, were also impenetrable by thorns. Given an old-fashioned scythe, the speedster mowed down a six-acre field of nasty thorn bushes in barely over one minute. It was left to mechanical cultivators to extract all of the roots.

(We _still_ are not quite at the point in time when the Wendigoes, fleeing from the heroes Roger Tree Root and Golden Gaucho, leave their Earth-variant and use that world's hidden Starhatch to blink over to Bakwudza.)
 
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Narzississa's plan to wait bore good (from her viewpoint) fruit. Some evil-aligned Naughtygators, who had never accepted the supremacy of House Ashtrayides even under the terms of Stillneater's reformational constitution, psychically discovered what was afoot on Vojodren. While too cowardly to loiter in a place which might soon attract good-guy attention, they did transport some more Hotblood Matrons to that planet, with weapons and provisions. Most of the newly arriving villainesses were personally known to Narzississa, who greeted them all warmly. The most experienced of the new arrivals, and the longest acquainted with Narzississa, was named Robjendra.

"Narzy, dear, when the Naughtygators detected the independent older colony a quarter-circle around the planet, I urged them to bombard those peasants from orbit with a non-lethal submissiveness gas. Three Matrons are over there now, taking command; they can report to us by long-range ionospheric radio calls."

Narzississa was demonstratively pleased; the Dancing Lawn expression "tackle-hug" would apply. "Ever so excellent, Robjendra! We'll find jobs for those nobodies to perform soon. Meanwhile, allow me to introduce all of you to Piper Dizeeze, who is an excellent fellow as males go."

The younger Hotbloods were taken aback when discovering robots at Narzississa's home base, but Robjendra reminded them that the end justifies the means. The warlike women soon consented to let the Mentalcat brief them about his robots and how they would prove useful. Some were alarmed to hear that the Wendigoes expected to invade Bakwudza were weapon-resistant, but were relieved to learn that ordinary flame could hurt them.

And that The Chatter _probably_ could take control of a Wendigo's mind.

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Light-years away from Narzississa and Piper, the Wendigoes came trooping out of the Bakwudza Starhatch, which was in the side of a wooded hill. No humans were anywhere near, so the Bigfoot-like monsters killed and devoured several animals whose ecological niche was like deer in the temperate zones of Earth.

A day before this abrupt invasion, a surveyor of potential new settlement sites, named Henry Daikosa, had set out in Toehold's only aircraft, an ultralight one-seat helicopter, to scout a mesa whose top seldom was visited by large animals: thus a potential village site without much in the way of beast hazards. Unfortunately for him, just a kilometer short of the mesa, a large bird flew into his main rotor. This unfortunate bird's death was nearly Henry's death as well. The helo had underside airbags, but these were damaged by a tree. Landing hard, the pilot suffered a shattered ankle. He got through to home with a distress call; but no one had the means to reach him quickly.

Except, of course, the Goulash clone with the Quickness Force.

Given a device which would home in on the helo's transponder, Giles drank the local version of a protein shake, assimilated its full nourishment in forty seconds, then set out in the direction indicated. Covering over a hundred miles in less than ten minutes, he pinpointed Henry Daikosa's location-- around the same time as a hulking Wendigo caught the stranded pilot's scent.

\ = \ = \ = \ = \ = \ = \

Henry Daikosa's parents had always taught him: Don't bother animals, and they won't bother you. But Henry had not needed to "provoke" the alien creature, something like the ice-planet carnivore in The Empire Strikes Back, for >it< to decide that it would bother him. Now he wished in vain that he had a gun. He wished also that he had paid more attention when, as a boy, he had attended his reality's nearest equivalent of Sunday school.

For her part, the female Wendigo took delight in smelling human flesh; but then some of the human flesh that she detected ran right into her.

What startled the aviator out of his terror was the passage of _something_ impossibly swift racing past him. Before he could get the dust out of his eyes and track whatever had shot across his field of sight, the biped horror fell on its face, its feet seemingly jerked out from under it.

\ = \ = \ = \ = \ = \ = \

As with Frank Herbert's fantasy universe, this Galactic Empire featured sports like bullfighting. Giles Magg's brain cells carried the knowledge and feelings of Duke Neato concerning Neato's father being a matador. Giles had no weapon..... but at his velocity, he didn't need one. Like a jouster, he raced in at just the correct angle; stooping without slowing, he grabbed one of the primate monster's ankles and yanked. The creature spun in a vertical circle and landed on her face. Giles' accelerated senses noted how the monster got right back up.

Nothing's ever easy, he thought. Returning upon his adversary, he grabbed a fistful of hair on the back of her head and tugged her backwards. Feeling how she struggled to get at him, he made his own movements more irregular, keeping her off balance. Then he spun again, executing a crack-the-whip maneuver which ended by dashing her backbone against a treetrunk.

The Wendigo recovered her balance again-- only until Giles lashed out with a large fallen branch, knocking her feet out from under her.

She still was not hurt, but she was _definitely_ dismayed by her own failure to slay her challenger. Precisely because her kind had long enjoyed an unearned advantage over humans, they had never needed to cultivate genuine bravery. Her thought now was: No one takes a risk they can't handle. Whoever this is, he must possess even more power than he has yet shown. Fear of the unknown --perhaps plain cowardice--discouraged her from pressing a counterattack. Instead, after one more time being dumped onto the ground, she recovered, and used some cunning of her own. Ducking into the thickest of nearby tree growth, she made for where trunks were close together. She was right in guessing that even a speedster would need to allow for tightly-grouped obstacles. Not being grabbed again, she continued her escape. She would tell the others about this.

Giles _could_ have overtaken her, if he cared to make the greater effort. But it's better to leave her worried in her uncertainty about just how powerful I am, rather than convince her that I'm >not< that much of a danger to her.

Since Henry knew who Giles was, he wasted no time arguing when Giles lifted him into a fireman's carry. Even loaded with the aviator, the Ashtrayides hero was able to depart the crash site faster than the Wendigo could have pursued. At a rest stop, Giles told Henry: "Toehold must be placed on alert. If you have energy weapons, those will probably be more effective against that thing than projectile guns."
 
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On the return trip, Henry assured Giles that no one on Bakwudza had ever seen any beast resembling the monster which had tried to kill the pilot. Coming to the outskirts of Toehold, Giles told everyone they met that a new peril was arising. He also repeated his advice that energy weapons had more chance of stopping the Bigfoot-ish horror. Punchout and his fighters had half a dozen beam weapons, and about as many existed among the settlers.

Sally Porter spun up the subspace radio, hailing Waterpark, Srirachiss, Greedy Crime, Gumwad and other friendly planets. Responses initially were not fully encouraging, saying that friendly Naughtygators were engaged in other duties (as in the case of Haxxadoff helping out in Bazookadar). But non-Jalapeno -dependent starships could and would get started for Bakwudza. Specifically, two Ashtrayides- affiliated ships would get moving. One was a brand-new build, named Resolute Hound, commanded by veteran astronaut Ulysses Bardette, with a handful of Ashtrayides men-at-arms led by Captain Kracknuk.

(I don't _think_ I ever killed off Ulysses; but if I did, I now officially invoke the Retcon Effect, and he's alive.)

The other ship was none other than Selenium Falcon, because it's _way_ past time that Groan Starr and Vixen got some onstage action. Lady Gladiola, Groaner's niece, was their only onboard companion on this flight, since who knew if ship cubage might be needed to evacuate endangered colonists. Resolute Hound, larger than the older craft, also could accommodate some passengers if required.

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On Vojodren, Hotblood Matron Robjendra clairvoyantly sensed that good guys were hastening to aid the Bakwudzans. Shaking Narzississa awake, she exclaimed, "We need to get Master Dizeeze and his Ironhides moving!"

The Hotblood leader yawned. "Piper only has four new robots finished, but surely five battle-droids plus >us< will be enough."

"Should we send two or three of our sisters to the existing settlement here, to make them submissive?"

"Two, yes. You select them."
 
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SULLIVAN GRUNGY, NOW CONVERTED TO GOODNESS, received King Preston Truthside's permission to take a wormhole-tube hop to Urth with Rhett "Clean Hornet" McBride. Arriving at Restoration Ranch in Urth's version of Wyoming, they were joined by another ex-villain, Martin "Atomic Scalp" Alpert-- and by space pilot Ululani Atuf, who was madly in love with the now-good-aligned metahuman. Ruby Sutter, wife to Vigilant Cowboy of the Justified League, took Ululani aside for a private conversation, encouraging Ululani to persist. At the same time, Sullivan, Rhett and Martin discussed with Matthew Carver how the Dice-Aract apparently functioned.

---- Below here is drafting for the moment.

Maybe Sullivan and Scalp go with Ululani to the THIRD galaxy for a look-see at the bad guys there! Got to review who might already be there.
 
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