Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

Deuce Wayans, Alvin Springbuck and Chang-Shi Kirby (the latter two being Street Bat's closest confidants, who at times had filled in for Deuce in that persona) had learned (via the sensory power of Deuce's Green Flashlight artifact) that an evil creature had formerly visited a major underground hideout where Street Bat suits were kept. After an urgent discussion, Alvin's recommendation prevailed: "Our enemies hoped we wouldn't realize that they found this grotto; so let's not let _them_ know that >we< know that _they_ were here. The suits can be replaced."

Deuce asked his henchmen to keep on top of events in the United States, while he, in his Green Flashlight capacity, flew to Omsk in the Union of Cooperative Collective Republics. Contacts in China had passed clues to Deuce about uncertain villainy afoot there in the Russian East. I remind my readers that, on this Earth-variant, the equivalent of True Earth's Red China is both less powerful and less tyrannical than its template. (For one thing, the entire Korean Peninsula on Bat-Earth is Russian-controlled.)

Note: Lavrenty Borisovich Bakunin, a major executive in the U.C.C.R.'s energy industry, is dating a Yakut woman from a respectable family. Nariyana Aytalovna Keskil is learning about Lavrenty's goal of shaming people out of resisting evil. More to come.

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In the Union of Cooperative Collective Republics, as in its Original Earth counterpart, a sort of cereal called kasha is a very common food for breakfast. This was what Lavrentiy and Nariyana ate for breakfast on the morning when we pick up their arc. The first thing Lavrentiy says in this scene is based on the natural science OF BAT-EARTH, independently from Original Earth.

"I've been waiting to say this until I was confident you would want in on this project. It's about the bacteria that live inside our natural-gas deposits. We believe something very special can be done with them."

Nariyana was always at her calmest when goaded by curiosity. "If you only meant something about improving kilometer-age in propane-fueled vehicle engines, you probably wouldn't have needed to hesitate before you confided in me about, whatever this is."

"It >is< more than ski-truck fuel, all right. It's about living creatures, human or otherwise, benefiting by _inhaling_ natural gas."

The young Yakut woman's eyes widened. "What, will experimental volunteers grow wheels on their feet?"

"Not that bizarre. A mutated strain of the gas-well bacteria may give _energy_ to living beings."

"Do you mean physical, kinetic strength, or something _more_ startling?"

Lavrentiy glanced around, although no one else was within hearing. "At least physical, but conceivably more besides."

Both partners knew at least a little about the appearances of the earth-dragon in the Western Hemisphere, but neither of them had any cause to think that Fin-Zin-Chin-Pin had anything to do with Siberian gas wells.

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Back in America, Beatrice Wayans arranged for sleeping quarters to accommodate Washday and Sybil. Maxie Viva had been messaged about performing for "Be The Change;" she was expected to be able to fly in the next day to confer with foundation executives. Before sleeping, the two guests .enjoyed watching the video record of a self-criticism session among proletarians. Neither woman felt the least bit bad for this degradation being visited upon persons who _weren't_ among The Beautiful People......

FIRST MALE URBAN PEASANT: I need to confess that my sentiments are undisciplined. I am guilty of dwelling irresponsibly upon my pre-enlightenment immaturity. I have been so solipsistic as to _wish_ I still were living in the old, un-mutual way. I have chronically drifted back in thought to when I only knew five or six humans living within sight of my inefficient, environmentally unsound unitary domicile.

UGLY WOMAN FACILITATOR: Don't be overly rough on yourself. The Life Avenues have not yet existed long enough to purge out individualistic engrams from the group consciousness. Is that not so?

ENTIRE GROUP: So it is, Facilitator!

FIRST MALE: Thank you so much, everyone.

FIRST FEMALE URBAN PEASANT: My own greatest hurdle to overcome was a matter of prehistoric instinct.

FRIEND WHO CAME WITH HER, addressing Facilitator: I was privy to much of her struggle; she's done well.

FIRST FEMALE: Thank you, Jessamine. (To the group) I do, after all, want to learn the love of the collective.

FACILITATOR: I'm encouraged, sister. (Looking at another of the men present) How about you, Charlie? As a former drone of the military death machine, have you absorbed enough of the light of oneness to cut off your hateful past?

SECOND MALE URBAN PEASANT: Yes, and I can't say too strongly how grateful I am to the community for setting me free from hate and exclusion. By loving the everything, I am _becoming_ the everything.

SECOND FEMALE URBAN PEASANT (besides the one called Jessamine): That's the same awakening which helped me to realize that humans are not omnivores, that Goddess Universe expects us to choose veganism.

THIRD MALE URBAN PEASANT: When I arrived at the same epiphany, it struck me that I should have understood how my charcoal grill was polluting the ecosystem of Mother Gaia.....

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When Maxie Viva arrived and was introduced to Beatrice Wayans, she could share how she was working on a new song:

"I'm not vain, I just know everything is about me....."
 
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Back in the Omsk region, Lavrentiy cleared Nariyana to accompany him into the secret facility where animal testing was in progress.

"See this reindeer fawn? She was raised by humans from birth. She was always treated kindly, so she regards all humans as friends. Now you'll see why it was necessary to prevent her from ever having bad feelings toward people."

The eleven-month-old fawn, thinking of her actions as a game her humans had taught her, demonstrated her ability to shatter concrete blocks with her front hooves.

"She is also resistant to damage. It would take a very high-velocity bullet to penetrate her skin."

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Deuce Wayans, in his Green Flashlight capacity, was able to do enough scanning to gather that animals were being experimented on inside the installation in the tundra. He could even discern that one living creature inside appeared to have extraordinary physical strength, but was not harming any of the people there who spent time with it.

All right, file this place for later follow-up. Now, back to tracking the earth-dragon.

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Benjamin Wayans, elder brother of Street Bat, still was running the Audacious Angus Ranch in the east central Colorado of Bat-Earth. His wife Isobel, their grown son Bartolomeo, their pre-teen daughter Esmeralda, and younger son Mateo. Alvin Springbuck, one of Deuce's top henchmen, came to visit the ranch one day, driving a tour bus which contained fourteen trim, energetic Chinese girls of ages twelve through sixteen.

Mateo greeted them. "Are these the acrobats you've been messaging my Dad about?"

"Yes, the ones that Chang-Shi's nephew Huei-Bo interviewed."

"You picked a good time to bring them. Guest quarters are all set up, and Shirley Digs-Many-Roots arrived yesterday." Mateo was referring to a young woman of Cheyenne ancestry, who had won prizes as a stunt equestrian in the animal-safe rodeos which were allowed in this America. Revising rodeo events to eliminate cruelty to animals was one decree by the ruling party which citizens like Ben Wayans were pleased to comply with. Ben's family, assisted by the visiting Beijing Opera students, was proactively planning a _diversified_ humane rodeo. Shirley and the Chinese girls would spend the next four days getting acquainted with bulls and horses at the Double-A, letting their scent become familiar to those animals.

Next, performance actions would be rehearsed within their sight, not too close. Eventually, the animals should be sufficiently at ease to be unworried when the Chinese girls and the Cheyenne horsewoman hurried back and forth _among_ them.
 
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( ( ( ( More to come with Street-Bat when I decide WHAT comes next.

We now resume business on Punksteema, in Wellvernia, since we're barely started with Austreejuntzland. Yes, that place name IS meant to suggest the word "Regency." Austreejuntzland's capital is Pitcherton, close to where the northward-flowing Six Nations River enters Tohaz.

Queen Juliet-Andrea the First is the only child of King Spencer the Fourth. In a previous post, she received a visitor from the land of Hultisna, which lies west of Tohaz: Count Peltovrik of Welskark, the wealthiest of all Hultisnar nobles below the "Duke" level, seeking a marriage alliance. (He is even offering a pre-nup, agreeing that he himself cannot ever become King of Austreejuntzland. Not even Regent, because that post could be used as a backdoor means of usurpation.)

For T.D.L. members who have read, or seen a movie of, Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, I am going to pick up with a character based on the kindly Sir John Middleton in that book.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Be a good dog now, let the rabbits pass. They don't steal much."

Sir Sean Fiddleton strolled forth from his manor house, cane in hand, bound at a leisurely pace for Hardbiscuit Cottage, which stood on his property, having a view of a modest lake fed by a tributary stream of the Six Nations River. Beside him, tail held high, walked Readyrough, his powerful but good-tempered wolfhound. (Elves had placed a virtue upon Readyrough's bloodline, conferring power against evil magical beings.)

Hardbiscuit was currently occupied by Sean's widowed younger cousin, Lavinia Fiddleton Marshwood, and her three daughters. Sean charged them a token rent, in order to preserve their dignity, but he and his wife Sylvestra provided Lavinia with so much food and other provision that the four tenants were paying virtually nothing in the net outcome.

"Uncle Sean!" exclaimed an eight-year-old girl, trotting toward her family's benign landlord. Roughready wagged his tail and accepted a hug from the child. Marjorie Marshwood addressed her cousin-once-removed as "Uncle," because he seemed like an uncle to them.

She now asked him, "Did the post rider come?" This, because letters for Hardbiscuit Cottage always came to the manor house first.

"Yes, girl; there's a letter for your sister Elsa, and one for Daisy. From their gentlemen, respectively."

Marjorie grasped the offered envelopes, then took off running for home. Roughready loped beside her, because he loved to run and because he was confident that no danger was looming over his master at present.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Most Esteemed Miss Daisy Marshwood,

I am at liberty now to tell you that the Queen's Dragoons acquitted themselves both valiantly and successfully against the enemies of our Jardekka friends. I regret to inform you that your acquaintances Private Yarbellum and Private Himmergan were among our losses, but they went down performing their duty without a flaw. I have also informed their parents.

I shall not push the subject of setting a date for our nuptials. I am detained in connection with ensuring that the hostages taken from the aggressors (in return for us not executing enemy prisoners out of hand after their treacherous actions) will be well housed, and allowed to attend an Austreejuntzland school on equal footing as other students. My invaluable Color Sergeant will assume responsibility for protecting these hostages from suffering any abuse.

I eagerly anticipate visiting your most excellent family once more, as soon as my duties permit it.

Your devoted servant, Cornell Brendan
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

My Darling Elsa,

As of half an hour before I started writing this letter, I am ordained as a parson in the Church of Pitcherton. I shall, as we hoped, be assigned as an assistant to the vicar in your own parish. Despite his rheumatism, Vicar Westerdown pledges not to retire before he officiates at our wedding. I expect no opposition to Cousin Sean standing as my best man. I kiss you from a distance.

With indescribable passion, Heathwell

============

Even with his top enlisted man overseeing the hostage transfer, General Brendan had his hands full. Shortly after his letter to Daisy was accepted by a courier, messengers came from prairie tribes which had had no part in the recent crisis. Brendan owed it to their prestige to confer with them in person. Their meeting, facilitated by Jardekka tribesmen, produced an unanticipated new initiative. On short notice, ten seasoned Jardekka braves joined Brendan-- and a dragoon corporal named Rutger Sharpe-- in accompanying the visitors back to their comparatively distant territories. It was a once-in-a-career opportunity to strengthen Austreejuntzland's diplomatic standing among Wellvernian countries. Brendan was well enough informed to have heard about Prince -Consort Felipe of Mifdola achieving peace with the Sledge Nomads; he hoped now to accomplish something similar on the southern continent.

It did, however, keep Cornell Brendan away from Daisy Anne Marshwood for many days more.
 
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Your author now reviews the party which came north from Ruffnekkia, which is the homeland of the "Whistlers" who are kindred spirits to Towermen and Smoke Maidens. The presence of Brewster of Goliad (friend to Towerman Ronald) testified to this kinship. Christian cleric Elijah Parsifal is in the party. The others are Whistler Jerkysalt of Sneeziya (who looks like Henry Cavill with white hair, his elvish girlfriend Veevalamora Heartlifter, the Shangri mystic Sotavang, and the Datsunsha martial artist Gwazpor son of Gwaztu (Distant Waterfall style). Note that Sotavang is able to hear from Habohai, the Uzakmid of Shangri-Blah (analogous to a Dalai Lama), who is also able to communicate with Austreejuntzland.

Completely unconnected with the travelers from the frigid latitudes, a party of Austreejuntzlanders was trekking up the Six Nations River (which, along this shallow river, meant going south). Not only did they know nothing about the Ruffnekkian Whistler's team, but they also knew nothing about Darden Quicktrout, the renegade from Gloomenghast who had murdered the master cook Gimshelter. Darden had failed to frame Steward Rawhide for the crime, but now hoped to pose as an artist in Austreejuntzland, leaving the dreary ancient castle behind. Omniscient narrator knows that the former apprentice of Master Picknitz will team up with the scoundrel John Weatherby-- who, of course, will want to steal Daisy Marshwood.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Okay, we'll say that this kingdom is segmented into ten or eleven shires. The Marshwoods reside in Beldamore Shire, and Cornell Brendan's ancestral home is in the next shire west, called Tasmuth. Both shires are south of the royal palace.

Having formed an alliance with John Weatherby, who had some cash to spare, Darden Quicktrout approached the Fiddleton household on the back of a mule, bringing wooden sculptures which he had in fact made for sale. He didn't have a conscience, but he did possess talent. Sean's wife Henrietta met him at the front door, with Readyrough at her side. The hound, who could sense if anyone intended bodily harm to his humans, had rather less intuition for someone sleazy merely wanting to get established in a neighborhood. Perhaps Readyrough would have picked up more of a sinister vibe if the man Quicktrout slew had not himself been evil. He didn't go alert against the stranger as with an enemy, only acted stand-offish. A sale was made, some of the carvings being suitable for the manorhouse library.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Back in Gloomenghast, King Sickulsell and Queen Zatruga, with Princess Frootsalda their firstborn, were performing another of their myriad ceremonies. Every working-class castle resident older than eight years and younger than thirty-three extended their left hands toward King, Queen and Princess in turn. The royals clasped left hands with all of the menials, and the menials walked away humming a very old melody. Master Picknitz could verify that this ritual dated back to the fourth King of Gormenghast, in whose time the great castle had been smaller.

Not being the firstborn of his royal generation, Typhus Gloom was paying a chaste and courtly visit to Jerusha Whitegrove, niece of Doctor Broomcloset. The physician's sister Irma Broomcloset-- younger, healthier and smarter than her counterpart Irma Prunesquallor in the Gormenghast novels-- had married Remick Whitegrove, a teacher and the son of a teacher. Remick's father Varney had immigrated to Gloomenghast Land from Austreejuntzland, with a calling to increase learning for the lower-class residents of the Glooms' domain. Earning respect-- since the Glooms were not opposed to literacy among their people-- Varney had married an older female cousin of Sir Tandauzer, and she had given him five children, including Remick who would become Jerusha's father.

"My mother," Jerusha was telling Typhus, "only lately took a sudden interest in the relationship between odd and even numbers in multiplication."

"How so?"

Doctor Broomcloset, naturally talkative, interjected: "If you read through multiplication tables, you'll see more even-number than odd-number answers."

Taking his esteemed host's chatter in stride, Typhus resumed: "That's because if you multiply an even number by an even number, or odd by odd, the answer is always even. Only odd times odd produces odd. Mistress Whitegrove knew logically that there couldn't really be more even than odd numbers. It was one of those things which are so obvious, you don't think of them. All prime numbers except two are odd, because no even number above two can be a prime number. This balances the even numbers."

Doctor Broomcloset suddenly took a tangent in conversation, returning to a long-ignored but never-forgotten subject from his private conversations with Typhus. "You know that there have only been three sovereign queens of Gloomenghast. As far as I can tell, you don't want to rule the castle when your father passes away; but neither do you want your sister to be accused of cunningly influencing you in that direction."

Jerusha didn't speak it aloud, but she felt good that Prince Typhus was letting her in on private confidences.

In the fiction of Original Earth novelist Mervyn Peake, Titus Groan had run away from Gormenghast because it had become unbearable to him, especially once his cherished sister offed herself. Gloomenghast, however, was not nearly as isolated as the existentially- despondent castle in the trilogy, Frootsalda didn't commit suicide, and Typhus reckoned that he could venture away from home without it being an irrevocable departure. He had mentioned this prospect to his non-blood -related inner circle, mainly Doctor Broomcloset and Sir Tandauzer.
 
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The riverside road from the south was safe enough that travelers with reasonable caution, in adequate numbers, had very little to fear. I think I said that Jerkysalt's party made it to the south edge of Gloomenghast Land, and got to speak with locals. I'll say now that they withdrew a bit southward, then booked rooms at a secure inn, so they could brainstorm about what they might do among the marsh dwellers closer to the castle. Let the reader assume that everything which ought to be considered, was considered.

It wasn't usual for crude ruffians to stir up trouble in the morning, but it did occur here. Ox-wagon drivers, numerous enough to give all good guys enough punching bags, arrived at the inn, bellowing even before they requested food or anything else.

RUFFIAN #
1: "I smell the (naughty language) stink of Ruffnekkians who think they're better than us!"

RUFFIAN #
2: "I smell the stink of (naughty language) Elves who think they're better than us!"

RUFFIAN #3 (dropping a dirty hand onto Gwazpor's shoulder): "Ugly boy, did you get enough sleep to show us---"

RUFFIAN #4 (almost simultaneously reaching toward Veevalamora at a particularly impolite level): "I bet no Elf-man ever gave you--"

RUFFIAN #5 (trying to grab Jerkysalt's loose white hair): "Sissy dude, I feel like--"

Additional ruffians were already hefting truncheons and knives, but were initially concerned to prevent the inn's owner and workmen from helping the good guys. Consequently, they failed to see the first two seconds of what happened to the first five wagoneers.

Ruffian Three never knew how it happened, but his arm which had touched the Datsunsha warrior was broken in two places. Veevalamora struck Ruffian Four in the throat, just barely short of killing him. Gwazpor moved on and plowed into the ruffians farther back; Jerkysalt joined him after body- slamming Ruffian Five. Brewster and Elijah took down Ruffians One and Two respectively. Close on the heels of this, the innkeeper and his men seized the opportunity to produce firearms, which they would not have dared to use while innocent people were exposed to peril.

The innkeeper boomed at the humiliated rowdies: "If anyone had died here, it would have been entirely your fault. Since no magistrate is near here, I impose damage payment on you. You will surrender to me one tenth of all merchandise you are transporting, and relinquish every long-range weapon you possess. Note also that Whistlers, Elves, Datsunsha warriors, Towermen, and prairie tribes with whom I do business, will all be keeping an eye out for you from now on."

Although this incident would not directly affect the diplomatic errand of Cornell Brendan among tribesfolk, he would eventually hear about it.


--- RETAINING ONE PREPARATORY NOTE:
If Typhus leaves Gloomenghast, he will be followed by the dutiful Sir Tandauzer, the one with leather armor and wheel-lock pistols.
 
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*** Beldamore Shire, two days after the letters to Elsa and Daisy, from Heathwell and Brendan respectively, were delivered to Hardbiscuit Cottage:

Tom Hillerman, a sturdy and reliable servant of the Fiddletons, was often delegated to carry out difficult or time-consuming tasks for the Marshwoods: a token of Sir Sean's esteem for his relatives. Today's business was easy and relaxing. Marjorie, little sister of the two Jane Austen-derived ladies who both enjoyed the esteem of capital-G Good Guys, wanted to return a satchel of books to "Uncle Sean," from whom she had borrowed them. Roughready came along, so that on the way to the manor house Marjorie could ride on the wolfhound's back. Roughready could have carried an adult person at need, so carrying a child of whom he was fond was no burden.

"Tell me if you would, Miss Marjorie: in what spirits are your sisters as respects their suitors?"

Marjorie had not been sworn to secrecy, wherefore she felt no qualms about replying directly. "Elsa is in paradise, looking forward to her wedding. But Daisy is miffed at the General for staying away after he won his battle."

Sean's mood sobered. "Miffed, say you? Does Daisy realize that her husband-to-be is at work seeking to prevent future wars?"

"Mama tells her the same thing, but Daisy says that the General has done enough, and she deserves attention."

Sean thought: If enough prairie tribes united against us to penetrate deeply into this kingdom, I suspect that Miss Daisy Anne would not be pleased by the sort of attention they would accord her!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Near the geometric center of Pitcherton Palace was an open quadrangle, usually frequented by the monarch and her ladies in waiting. Trellises with flowering vines flanked each roof-edge; besides lending color, they would catch stray birdies when the women played what amounted to badminton. As we look in on Queen Juliet-Andrea, she was drinking an equivalent of lemonade with her eldest womanservant: Mrs. Falina Corman, wife to a guard sergeant.

"Falina: in deep confidence, what do you think of Count Petrovik?"

"Your Majesty, I believe that he is no more self-seeking than any other not-quite-highest-ranking nobleman, and probably less so than many."

"From what we know about his family, what do you think about them?"

"As far back as I'm aware, none of them ever greatly distinguished themselves in war, including the one war we ever fought with Tohaz; but neither did they disgrace themselves. And they have earned a favorable reputation in commerce."

Juliet-Andrea gazed up at the lattices. "Nothing positively disqualifying Petrovik. And his offering to renounce any prospect of himself reigning as a king would seem to speak well of his character."

"Unless he only did it for show, knowing that a foreign count would never have any chance of taking the throne anyway."

"I hate uncertainty."
 
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Back to the Heyho arc!

King Preston Truthside, born on Earth-Whichever before he became arguably the mightiest created being in the mortal-existence dimension of three galaxies, knew about Fuss users, although none of them were native to his Earth-variant. His intergalactic surveillance could not follow events based on the Halo game until that sub-reality acquired material existence, but he soon got up to date with it. He was not free to travel now, since he was needed on Awkwardlisp to control Kaijusaurus and Aqua-Scorpion, but he might be able to facilitate providing supernatural assistance to a materialistic region. When he detected the witch Ickylinn on Heyho Earth, the idea assumed urgency.

Truthside ascertained that the sorcerer Doctor Unusual and Zoorama Sotero-Slippage were tied up helping the good guys on Redundantworld. Fateful Doctor was likewise occupied. But the sorcerer Conn Johnstantine of Terra was available, as were the Fuss up-siders Quinine Sauce and his yellow-skinned Tryyurluck wife Samladel Fripp-Sauce. So Truthside contacted those three, obtained their consent to be "drafted," and then teleported them to where they could meet Avery Thompson and the other heroes involved in capturing Icky-Linn.

The trio had scarcely materialized at their destination before Karbeena Owtfeeld, mistakenly reacting to a perceived threat, whirled to attack the new arrivals. Mister and Missus Sauce together immobilized her by The Fuss without harming her; Conn then said, "We're on your side, just making sure the witch is well subdued." Then the Terran magic-user placed a sleep spell on Ickylinn, while Avery explained to President Hughes what was actually happening. Zubdookree employed Fuss-persuasion to make Earth's President understand that he was being told the truth. Snack and Noherra took on explaining to civilian staff members what was happening. (If I said previously that the diminutive Lodratrid Guft, who looks like Maz in the Sequel Travesty, is with Zubdookree, then she still is.)

Shilkovim of the Bonkalub was one of the first persons not present at the mansion to be advised of what had just occurred.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
Depending on whom you spoke to, Doyo Jogtip the Yettisquatch was either the Planetary President of Stretch, or its Governor. Be this as it might, Second Lieutenant Taleb El-Moktar, from the Endrunners Battalion of the Galactic Marines, was on duty right now as Officer of the Day in the planetary capital. They were not guarding the gubernatorial residence, this being the job of the Galactic Army. For this very reason, Rhonda Pilsner and her Skankbelly friend Zafnast could speak privately with Taleb, concerning the fact that they had first been prevented from seeing Doctor Fallacy, then later admitted to her office only to get a run-around.

Taleb soon asked them, "Were you _specifically_ ordered not to tell anyone that you'd come away without the answers you sought?"

Zafnast moved his mandibles in a distinctive manner, then shook his long head. "Excuse me, that was meant to be like a Human shaking his head. No, we were not so instructed." He and Rhonda exchanged a glance.

"In that case....." The lieutenant looked all around. "Listen carefully. I am _not_ suggesting that you clear out of here _before_ anyone grabs your elbows. I'm _certainly_ not suggesting that you head for the last known location of a man from what _might_ be called 'Ringjonn Earth.' I see no reason to allege that such a man enjoys great prestige for helping the Starterus faction to achieve co-existence. Even less am I urging you to look at this data device I just happen to be holding in plain sight, as if, oh, say, it would tell you that location. By no means am I urging you to get going right away, and obtain the support of someone who might bear the nickname of Major Chief. Now I'm going to make my rounds, without any interest in whether anybody lawfully borrows an aircar, helicopter or suchlike."

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
Jacob and Raquel, he still armed with his fantasy rifle, she with her Babylon Five-suggested plasma pistol, were at a campsite with Starterus the enormous Juggernasty. Other ex-Congregation members were present, most of them from the Mipstipter species. The winged sapients were listening avidly as Jacob sang chanties and ballads. For this audience, the Major Chief could have been singing centuries-old advertising jingles; _any_ sort of melody was a thrilling novelty for them. Starterus, astronomically more intelligent than the former cannon fodder, had begun thinking whether he could write lyrics in his own language to any of these tunes.

Rhonda and Zafnast showed up at the camp, to be cheerfully welcomed by Starterus. Readers are invited to assume that anything necessary for New Stevie Ray Vaughn to become pals with Jacob, does happen. Stevie, in his original existence on Music Earth, had never been part of any thrilling life-or-death adventures; he was greatly impressed when he heard about Jacob saving teenagers from being murdered in the Sodpile Forest.
 
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Master Yoga-Rug has not been on stage for many chapters now; but at this point, be advised that Only-One Kanoli, and his naturally -bald but humanlike-enough wife Massage Breathless- Kanoli, are free to get back into action. I think I allowed them to have a baby, but you can assume that the Spacewalker family on Planet Kantpoo keeps this baby safe. Yoga-Rug communicated with the Janitors of the Universe, who knew all about the Heyho sub-universe, and they provided instant travel for the Kanolis-- to Planet Bigspoke, where Lieutenant- General Amos Judd is the senior human officer.

Master Katmatao did a flawless job: the Kanolis arrived at the perfect spot. They didn't appear in front of a startled crowd; they were close enough to Judd's headquarters that they knew where they were going, but not so close as to rouse any guards. Both spouses used The Fuss to sweep the area for any indication of potentially hostile watchers.

"All clear," said Only-One, using a language not known anywhere in Heyhoverse worlds.

Massage nodded. "Then calm and casual it is."

Eight Space Army sentries, wearing armor a little short of "Muledeer" quality, but more than sufficient for garrison duty, looked at the approaching up-siders. The senior among them, a woman with buck-sergeant rank, said, "State your business."

"We are explorers who've been outside of U.C. space," Massage told her. "General Judd wants to ask us about our findings."

"General Judd wants to ask about your findings," the sergeant echoed.

Only-One added: "Since this is not a matter of immediate military urgency, the General decided on a 'hide in plain sight' approach for the interview."

"The General decided on a 'hide in plain sight' approach for the interview," the sergeant echoed.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
Similar non-violent penetration brought the Kanolis to their goal-- rather anticlimactically. Amos Judd was dictating into an audio recorder with A/I editing (no holographic persona with it, only imposing its _own_ ideas of what he _should_ be saying. The rear-echelon brass-hat was so absorbed in considering himself insightful, that he didn't immediately notice his visitors. The two up-siders entered at the middle of a sentence, but for the reader's convenience I'll include the _first_ eleven words.

"The Friendless, the Varnished, the Congregation, and even the Introductories who were humanity's first major assailants, all had two traits in common: all of them organized their cultures on an unmistakably religious model, with battle-armored rigidity in their moral codes, yet at the same time they omitted any suggestion of a supernatural realm. Sapients less highly evolved than I am would infer that intolerance and hate are _not_ a result of rejecting divine beliefs. But the universe has empowered >me< to see more clearly. Stone-age beings of every rational species unavoidably had superstition before they had knowledge of the actual cosmos. Accordingly, when they did stumble upon scientific method, they reflexively imported their old ignorance into the new realm of objectivity.

"We now stand at a crossing of wormholes. One flight path keeps us-- humans, and the human-friendly races-- on a true course, defining life as we prefer to define it. The other course threatens to engulf us in the fascism of those aliens who have entered our galactic sector uninvited, bringing their mindless hatred of everyone who is different....."


Only-One had figured out where this was going: very much like the way of The Jackalbyte, only without the male-bashing.

"Hello, there." Enough of the Fuss influence was in his greeting that Amos Judd finally looked at him and Massage. Only-One added: "You realize, General, that we who have come from outside your sub-universe enjoy our _own_ diversity of races and cultures,"

"I realize that you who have come from outside my sub-universe enjoy your own diversity of-- wait, now, who _are_ you?"

Only-One and Massage didn't need to say it aloud to each other: something was resisting Only-One's Fuss mind-influence. And they had been told about Mister Tectonic's "T-Sneer" micro-drones.
 
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