Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

Deuce Wayans, Alvin Springbuck and Chang-Shi Kirby (the latter two being Street Bat's closest confidants, who at times had filled in for Deuce in that persona) had learned (via the sensory power of Deuce's Green Flashlight artifact) that an evil creature had formerly visited a major underground hideout where Street Bat suits were kept. After an urgent discussion, Alvin's recommendation prevailed: "Our enemies hoped we wouldn't realize that they found this grotto; so let's not let _them_ know that >we< know that _they_ were here. The suits can be replaced."

Deuce asked his henchmen to keep on top of events in the United States, while he, in his Green Flashlight capacity, flew to Omsk in the Union of Cooperative Collective Republics. Contacts in China had passed clues to Deuce about uncertain villainy afoot there in the Russian East. I remind my readers that, on this Earth-variant, the equivalent of True Earth's Red China is both less powerful and less tyrannical than its template. (For one thing, the entire Korean Peninsula on Bat-Earth is Russian-controlled.)

Note: Lavrenty Borisovich Bakunin, a major executive in the U.C.C.R.'s energy industry, is dating a Yakut woman from a respectable family. Nariyana Aytalovna Keskil is learning about Lavrenty's goal of shaming people out of resisting evil. More to come.

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In the Union of Cooperative Collective Republics, as in its Original Earth counterpart, a sort of cereal called kasha is a very common food for breakfast. This was what Lavrentiy and Nariyana ate for breakfast on the morning when we pick up their arc. The first thing Lavrentiy says in this scene is based on the natural science OF BAT-EARTH, independently from Original Earth.

"I've been waiting to say this until I was confident you would want in on this project. It's about the bacteria that live inside our natural-gas deposits. We believe something very special can be done with them."

Nariyana was always at her calmest when goaded by curiosity. "If you only meant something about improving kilometer-age in propane-fueled vehicle engines, you probably wouldn't have needed to hesitate before you confided in me about, whatever this is."

"It >is< more than ski-truck fuel, all right. It's about living creatures, human or otherwise, benefiting by _inhaling_ natural gas."

The young Yakut woman's eyes widened. "What, will experimental volunteers grow wheels on their feet?"

"Not that bizarre. A mutated strain of the gas-well bacteria may give _energy_ to living beings."

"Do you mean physical, kinetic strength, or something _more_ startling?"

Lavrentiy glanced around, although no one else was within hearing. "At least physical, but conceivably more besides."

Both partners knew at least a little about the appearances of the earth-dragon in the Western Hemisphere, but neither of them had any cause to think that Fin-Zin-Chin-Pin had anything to do with Siberian gas wells.

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Back in America, Beatrice Wayans arranged for sleeping quarters to accommodate Washday and Sybil. Maxie Viva had been messaged about performing for "Be The Change;" she was expected to be able to fly in the next day to confer with foundation executives. Before sleeping, the two guests .enjoyed watching the video record of a self-criticism session among proletarians. Neither woman felt the least bit bad for this degradation being visited upon persons who _weren't_ among The Beautiful People......

FIRST MALE URBAN PEASANT: I need to confess that my sentiments are undisciplined. I am guilty of dwelling irresponsibly upon my pre-enlightenment immaturity. I have been so solipsistic as to _wish_ I still were living in the old, un-mutual way. I have chronically drifted back in thought to when I only knew five or six humans living within sight of my inefficient, environmentally unsound unitary domicile.

UGLY WOMAN FACILITATOR: Don't be overly rough on yourself. The Life Avenues have not yet existed long enough to purge out individualistic engrams from the group consciousness. Is that not so?

ENTIRE GROUP: So it is, Facilitator!

FIRST MALE: Thank you so much, everyone.

FIRST FEMALE URBAN PEASANT: My own greatest hurdle to overcome was a matter of prehistoric instinct.

FRIEND WHO CAME WITH HER, addressing Facilitator: I was privy to much of her struggle; she's done well.

FIRST FEMALE: Thank you, Jessamine. (To the group) I do, after all, want to learn the love of the collective.

FACILITATOR: I'm encouraged, sister. (Looking at another of the men present) How about you, Charlie? As a former drone of the military death machine, have you absorbed enough of the light of oneness to cut off your hateful past?

SECOND MALE URBAN PEASANT: Yes, and I can't say too strongly how grateful I am to the community for setting me free from hate and exclusion. By loving the everything, I am _becoming_ the everything.

SECOND FEMALE URBAN PEASANT (besides the one called Jessamine): That's the same awakening which helped me to realize that humans are not omnivores, that Goddess Universe expects us to choose veganism.

THIRD MALE URBAN PEASANT: When I arrived at the same epiphany, it struck me that I should have understood how my charcoal grill was polluting the ecosystem of Mother Gaia.....

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When Maxie Viva arrived and was introduced to Beatrice Wayans, she could share how she was working on a new song:

"I'm not vain, I just know everything is about me....."
 
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Back in the Omsk region, Lavrentiy cleared Nariyana to accompany him into the secret facility where animal testing was in progress.

"See this reindeer fawn? She was raised by humans from birth. She was always treated kindly, so she regards all humans as friends. Now you'll see why it was necessary to prevent her from ever having bad feelings toward people."

The eleven-month-old fawn, thinking of her actions as a game her humans had taught her, demonstrated her ability to shatter concrete blocks with her front hooves.

"She is also resistant to damage. It would take a very high-velocity bullet to penetrate her skin."

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Deuce Wayans, in his Green Flashlight capacity, was able to do enough scanning to gather that animals were being experimented on inside the installation in the tundra. He could even discern that one living creature inside appeared to have extraordinary physical strength, but was not harming any of the people there who spent time with it.

All right, file this place for later follow-up. Now, back to tracking the earth-dragon.

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Benjamin Wayans, elder brother of Street Bat, still was running the Audacious Angus Ranch in the east central Colorado of Bat-Earth. His wife Isobel, their grown son Bartolomeo, their pre-teen daughter Esmeralda, and younger son Mateo. Alvin Springbuck, one of Deuce's top henchmen, came to visit the ranch one day, driving a tour bus which contained fourteen trim, energetic Chinese girls of ages twelve through sixteen.

Mateo greeted them. "Are these the acrobats you've been messaging my Dad about?"

"Yes, the ones that Chang-Shi's nephew Huei-Bo interviewed."

"You picked a good time to bring them. Guest quarters are all set up, and Shirley Digs-Many-Roots arrived yesterday." Mateo was referring to a young woman of Cheyenne ancestry, who had won prizes as a stunt equestrian in the animal-safe rodeos which were allowed in this America. Revising rodeo events to eliminate cruelty to animals was one decree by the ruling party which citizens like Ben Wayans were pleased to comply with. Ben's family, assisted by the visiting Beijing Opera students, was proactively planning a _diversified_ humane rodeo. Shirley and the Chinese girls would spend the next four days getting acquainted with bulls and horses at the Double-A, letting their scent become familiar to those animals.

Next, performance actions would be rehearsed within their sight, not too close. Eventually, the animals should be sufficiently at ease to be unworried when the Chinese girls and the Cheyenne horsewoman hurried back and forth _among_ them.
 
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( ( ( ( More to come with Street-Bat when I decide WHAT comes next.

We now resume business on Punksteema, in Wellvernia, since we're barely started with Austreejuntzland. Yes, that place name IS meant to suggest the word "Regency." Austreejuntzland's capital is Pitcherton, close to where the northward-flowing Six Nations River enters Tohaz.

Queen Juliet-Andrea the First is the only child of King Spencer the Fourth. In a previous post, she received a visitor from the land of Hultisna, which lies west of Tohaz: Count Peltovrik of Welskark, the wealthiest of all Hultisnar nobles below the "Duke" level, seeking a marriage alliance. (He is even offering a pre-nup, agreeing that he himself cannot ever become King of Austreejuntzland. Not even Regent, because that post could be used as a backdoor means of usurpation.)

For T.D.L. members who have read, or seen a movie of, Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, I am going to pick up with a character based on the kindly Sir John Middleton in that book.

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"Be a good dog now, let the rabbits pass. They don't steal much."

Sir Sean Fiddleton strolled forth from his manor house, cane in hand, bound at a leisurely pace for Hardbiscuit Cottage, which stood on his property, having a view of a modest lake fed by a tributary stream of the Six Nations River Beside him, tail held high, walked Readyrough, his powerful but good-tempered wolfhound. (Elves had placed a virtue upon Readyrough's bloodline, conferring power against evil magical beings.)

Hardbiscuit was currently occupied by Sean's widowed younger cousin, Lavinia Fiddleton Marshwood, and her three daughters. Sean charged them a token rent, in order to preserve their dignity, but he and his wife Sylvestra provided Lavinia with so much food and other provision that the four tenants were paying virtually nothing in the net outcome.

"Uncle Sean!" exclaimed an eight-year-old girl, trotting toward her family's benign landlord. Roughready wagged his tail and accepted a hug from the child. Marjorie Marshwood addressed her cousin-once-removed as "Uncle," because he seemed like an uncle to them.

She now asked him, "Did the post rider come?" This, because letters for Hardbiscuit Cottage always came to the manor house first.

"Yes, girl; there's a letter for your sister Elsa, and one for Daisy. From their gentlemen, respectively."

Marjorie grasped the offered envelopes, then took off running for home. Roughready loped beside her, because he loved to run and because he was confident that no danger was looming over his master at present.

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Most Esteemed Miss Daisy Marshwood,

I am at liberty now to tell you that the Queen's Dragoons acquitted themselves both valiantly and successfully against the enemies of our Jardekka friends. I regret to inform you that your acquaintances Private Yarbellum and Private Himmergan were among our losses, but they went down performing their duty without a flaw. I have also informed their parents.

I shall not push the subject of setting a date for our nuptials. I am detained in connection with ensuring that the hostages taken from the aggressors (in return for us not executing enemy prisoners out of hand after their treacherous actions) will be allowed to attend an Austreejuntzland school on equal footing as other students. My invaluable Color Sergeant will assume responsibility for protecting these hostages from suffering any abuse.

I eagerly anticipate visiting your most excellent family once more, as soon as my duties permit it.

Your devoted servant, Cornell Brendan
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My Darling Elsa,

As of half an hour before I started writing this letter, I am ordained as a parson in the Church of Pitcherton. I shall, as we hoped, be assigned as an assistant to the vicar in your own parish. Despite his rheumatism, Vicar Westerdown pledges not to retire before he officiates at our wedding. I expect no opposition to Cousin Sean standing as my best man. I kiss you from a distance.

With indescribable passion, Heathwell
============

Even with his top enlisted man overseeing the hostage transfer, General Brendan had his hands full. Shortly after his letter to Daisy was accepted by a courier, messengers came from prairie tribes which had had no part in the recent crisis. Brendan owed it to their prestige to confer with them in person. Their meeting, facilitated by Jardekka tribesmen, produced an unanticipated new initiative. On short notice, ten seasoned Jardekka braves joined Brendan in accompanying the visitors back to their comparatively distant territories. It was a once-in-a-career opportunity to strengthen Austreejuntzland's diplomatic standing among Wellvernian countries.

It did, however, keep Cornell Brendan away from Daisy Anne Marshwood for many days more.
 
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Your author now reviews the party which came north from Ruffnekkia, which is the homeland of the "Whistlers" who are kindred spirits to Towermen and Smoke Maidens. The presence of Brewster of Goliad (friend to Towerman Ronald) testified to this kinship. Christian cleric Elijah Parsifal is in the party. The others are Whistler Jerkysalt of Sneeziya (who looks like Henry Cavill with white hair, his elvish girlfriend Veevalamora Heartlifter, the Shangri mystic Sotavang, and the Datsunsha martial artist Gwazpor son of Gwaztu (Distant Waterfall style). Note that Sotavang is able to hear from Habohai, the Uzakmid of Shangri-Blah (analogous to a Dalai Lama), who is also able to communicate with Austreejuntzland.

Completely unconnected with the travelers from the frigid latitudes, a party of Austreejuntzlanders was trekking up the Six Nations River (which, along this shallow river, meant going south). Not only did they know nothing about the Ruffnekkian Whistler's team, but they also knew nothing about Darden Quicktrout, the renegade from Gloomenghast who had murdered the master cook Gimshelter. Darden had failed to frame Steward Rawhide for the crime, but now hoped to pose as an artist in Austreejuntzland, leaving the dreary ancient castle behind. Omniscient narrator knows that the former apprentice of Master Picknitz will team up with the scoundrel John Weatherby-- who, of course, will want to steal Daisy Marshwood.
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Okay, author plans that Quicktrout will approach the Fiddleton household, offering to sell carvings for the manor house. He will have a sale made before he first meets John Weatherby.

One way or other, I need to revisit the isolated Gloom family: King Sickulsell, Queen Zatruga, Princess Frootsalda and young Prince Typhus. The near-adult scion might have some relationship with Jerusha, niece of Doctor Broomcloset.
 
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STILL DRAFTING.....

>>> Jerkysalt will get some action in a tavern. Some drunken clods, who heard of Whistlers, will pick a fight. Gwazpor won't be needed to assist Jerkysalt until extra rowdies barge in.

If Typhus leaves Gloomenghast, he will be followed by the dutiful Sir Tandauzer, the one with leather armor and wheel-lock pistols.
 
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I feel like bringing Only-One and Massage Kanoli into this action; they've been off stage long enough.

Truthside, aware of events, will wormhole the Kanolis to Heyho Earth's Melbourne Australia, first notifying the good guy on scene.
 
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