*bounces waiting for lieke's story*
Stop bouncing! Fine, here is the first part
I´m so bad at writing stories...
There once was a man from Whaloo
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe...
jk
Ahum, here it is then...
DON´T CONTINUE IF YOU DON´T WANT TO READ BORING STORIES OR SCRIPT PARTS, BECAUSE IT´S LOOOONNNGGG. IT´S GOING TO INVOLVE ALL OF YOU IN THE END, THOUGH!!
*clears throat* Sit down, children, grandma Lieke is going to tell a story.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Hopeless. His parents had called him that, because they wanted a little girl so badly, and got a boy instead. This terrible tragedy hurt them so much that they suddenly lost all inspiration of good boy names. Of course we can understand it, i mean, a boy was of course not something to hope for, but...
Hey, Olorinsesss and Brandon, where are you going? Ah fine, i´ll rephrase.
His parents where of course surprised that their child was a boy, but should have been as happy with him as when he would be a girl, but the evil people weren´t. Poor hopeless, his parents hated him, he had no friends (bad luck), no girlfriend of course (who wants do date a guy whose name is
hopeless?), and blue hair. That was something that has nothing to do with the story whatsoever, but still a funny thing to point out.
One day, his parents didn´t give him any food, AGAIN, Hopeless decided to leave his home, and he did. He walked and walked, and arrived at a huge, strange looking tunnel. He stopped at a sign at the beginning, which said: ´Elsewhere, 2 miles´ and pointed at the tunnel.
´I sure want to go Elsewhere´, Hopeless thought, and he walked in the tunnel. What he didn´t notice was the little sign below, which said: ´Enter at own risk, deadly´. So our little friend walked into the tunnel.
He was about halfway through when he suddenly heard a strange noise, he turned around, but because he was so stupid not to bring a torch or something, he couldn´t see anything. The noise became louder and louder, and Hopeless started to run. The first thing he ran into was a big wall, the second thing was a hobbit who happened to be there and had a strange light in a bottle, and a ring around his neck. ´Who are you?´, Hopeless asked. ´Ssstt!´, the hobbit said, ´I´m hiding here from some obsessed fangirl´, she even blushes when i walk by. You know, i cannot take this, i´m suppose to destroy this ring, and i cannot get out of this tunnel when there is a bunch of fan girls waiting there. You must help me. HELP ME. HEEEEELPPPP MEEEEEE´
Hopeless freaked out, as would we all, and ran away, running into a huge black spider called spidy (his parents didn´t have a lot of imagination). ´I´m going to eat you, yes i am´ she said. Hopeless freaked out yet again, and started running. ´You cannot hide´, spidy said, and went after him. Suddenly there was light, the hobbit was standing there: ´Eat me, please, stab me with that silly looking thing there, put me in your webthingies, let me be taken away by evil orks, let my best friend come and save me, risking his own life, but please, don´t let those fangirls get to me!´ ´Whatever´, spidy said, and stabbed him, letting Hopeless escape. Hopeless ran out of the tunnel, into the bright... well, basically night without stars in Elsewhere (he assumed).
<to be continued>
Now, i´m going to write the story again, as i would actually write it for fun
Story: *appears somewhere in space and time*
Hospital
Random woman: *gets a child* WHAAAA, it´s a guy, save me!!!
Child: *screams at being soo unloved, not knowing that little babies
should scream after being born, but anyway*
Man: I can´t believe you did this to me, you said we were going to get a girl!
Woman: You´re one to talk, you decide gender, remember?
Man: *faints because of the logic*
Woman: Whatever, stupid guy.
Narrator: Agreed
Woman: Why are you here, you are our narrator, remember?
Narrator: And what´s
that supposed to mean?
Woman: Well, you tell the story, why couldn´t it just be a girl.
Narrator: Then there wouldn´t be a story.
Woman: Yeah, but if the price to pay is having a boy?
Olorinsesss and Brandon: *attack narrator*
Narrator: Rephrase please
Woman: Arg, fine.
Home
Home: *is happy place for little family, except for boy*
Boy: *still screaming*
Man: Do you think we should name... it?
Woman: Okay, it´s a guy, you can call him ´he´, and we´d better give it a name, calling him ´it´ all the time is hopeless.
Man: What did you say, hopeless?
Woman: Yeah, hopeless.
Man: You mean like, hopeless hopeless? Are you sure you said hopeless.
Woman: i am sure i said hopeless, aren´t you?
Man: It depends, whether what your saying is really there or just a strange swing of my mind.
Woman: If it involves your mind i guess it isn´t...
Man: You´re hopeless.
Woman: Now you said hopeless.
Baby: *cries even harder*
Random light bulb: *appears*
Man: We should call him hopeless.
Woman: Yeah, fine, whatever...
Man: I´ve got this feeling that you don´t really care...
Woman: Sorry, what did you say?
13,4242 years later...
Hopeless: Mom, can i have food
Mom: No.
Hopeless: *cries*
Dad: Really, you need to stop that.
Hopeless: FOOOOOODDD
Mom: No.
Audience member #1: Why aren´t they giving him any food?
Audience member #2: Dunno, part maybe of the ´we need evil parents otherwise there wouldn´t be a story´ plan?
Narrator: O, shut it, you!
Hopeless: I hate my family, i´m hungry and i´m going to walk away in a random direction, i don´t know where i will go, but i´m sure that it will be better than this and that it will not lead me to some dark tunnel where there is nothing but darkness, a little hobbit or a gigantic spider...
Everyone: *laugh*
Hopeless: What, it´s possible right?
Narrator: *random light bulb appears again*
Middle of nowhere
Hopeless: Geh, i´ve walked for 42 days now, i wonder where this road leads me...
Dark Tunnel: *appears*
Audience member #1: How did that happen?
Audience member #2: Oh, come on Narrator, like we would ever buy
that!
Narrator: It´s
my story!
Audience member #1: Then make it believable!
Audience member #2: Yeah, let a talking bird tell him the way or something...
Everyone: *glares at #2*
#2: What?
Narrator: Ahum, Hopeless went to the tunnel, and didn´t see the ´Go in here and you will die´ sign.
#1: Yeah, rigth!
Narrator: *knocks him out*
inside tunnel
Hopeless: Gieh, i can´t see anything, i wonder if i´ll meet someone here, like a hobbit or something.
Noise: *is heard* AAHHH, THERE HE IS, FOLLOW HIM!!!! AAHHHHHH
Hobbit: *appears* The...fan...girls...aahh...
Hopelss: Who on earth are you? And why do you look like you haven´t had a bath in months, and why do you have this evil ring around your neck that´s shouting all those strange words?
Hobbit: *hides ring* i don´t have a ring.
Hopeless: You do!
Hobbit: Do not!
Hopeless: Definately!
Hobbit: Do not!
Hopeless: ooh, fangirls??
Hobbit: Fine, i have it.
Spider: *appears* I´m going to eatsss you...
Hopeless: He tastes much better, he´s been running the past few...?
Hobbit: 42 months.
Hopeless: Really, how on earth did you do
that?
Hobbit: You´ve never had a fangirl, huh?
Hopeless: How did you know?
Hobbit: Then you would know why i had the strenght to run.
Hopeless: Wow, i admire you!
Hobbit: Thanks, i deserve it, i guess.
Spider: HELLO-OH! I´m still here!
Hobbit: Fine, stab me.
Hopeless: Fine by me too!
Spider: Fine by me three!
Hobbit: That´s sooo old, it isn´t even funny anymore!
Spider: Sorry, *stabs hobbit*
Fangirls: *appear* AAHHH, the spider stabbed
him, KILL HER!! *attack*
Spider: WHAAA *runs*
Hopless: *walks out*
?
