war of the dwarves and elves!

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great. this is worse than the skating rink my dad went to when the hockey players were conspiring to hit him in the back of the head with a puck while he was standing by a crack in the plastic wally thingy between the rink and the seats!:eek: *hides behind table*
 
The Dwarves watch all this with amusement. That is, except for a few dozen of the less intelligent Dwarves, who try to hit bowling balls with the tennis racquets, and try to knock down the bowling pins with tennis balls.
 
*baby Elf tugs Mozart out from behind the table* The Elves play another loud 1940s song (with their own ear plugs in, of course).
 
Oh, no--not "In The Mood!" That's one of the most monotonous, relentlessly repetitive tunes ever composed in ANY style of music; and ironically, it is adored by swing-era fanatics who condemned early rock music for being repetitive!

Well, it so happens that some of the work we had our tame Balrogs doing in the caves was shaping one large tunnel for echo-chamber effect. Now, setting up our own amplifiers to take advantage of the reverberation effect, we retaliate with great symbolic appropriateness, by playing Simon and Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence."
 
*baby Elf eats the Dwarves' hearing protectors*
*baby Elf gets sick and spits up the hearing protectors, but baby Elf's stomach acid has ruined their usefulness*
 
If the Elf-baby was able to get close enough to do THAT, there IS NO WAY that she escapes without getting another well-deserved spanking. Then we just put in MORE ear protectors from a reserve supply.
 
*decides to be crazy*
*plays the following songs on loudspeakers cleverly placed around the dwarves camp*

Songs:
Shackles (of course)
Live out Loud
The Great Adventure
Radiator
Jesus Freak
Take me to your leader
Jesus is alright
aaaaaaaaaand (the totally random one) the Gummy bear song

MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!:p
 
Not exactly having their own dairy industry down in the caves, numerous Dwarves hasten to catch the whipped cream (even as other Dwarves are shooting drink-straw wrappers at Elves other than Zella). Once Dwarf chemists have determined that the whipped cream is not poisoned or drugged, it will be used on desserts in the Dwarf Army Chow Hall.
 
Copperfox said:
Not exactly having their own dairy industry down in the caves, numerous Dwarves hasten to catch the whipped cream (even as other Dwarves are shooting drink-straw wrappers at Elves other than Zella). Once Dwarf chemists have determined that the whipped cream is not poisoned or drugged, it will be used on desserts in the Dwarf Army Chow Hall.
Click to expand...

You pick up those straws and put them in the trash receptacle or I will bounce off the walls with rage! :mad: :mad:

Sorry, fast-food cashier moment. :eek::p
 
Since the leftover obsolete flying beards haven't been used for awhile, we now send some of them soaring in to unplug the Elves' stereo systems (or pull out the batteries, as applicable).
 
Suddenly remembering their axes, the Dwarves slice the snow-and-whatever-balls apart in midair. Then they pile up the pieces to make a snow fort.
 
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