war of the dwarves and elves!

[Glenburne]

*baby Elf hugs Zella*

 

[Zella]

*Hugs baby Elf and gives her some popcorn*

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

*shoots watermellon seeds at the dwarves* *eats slice of watermellon* *throws rind in the dwarf's camp's direction*

 

[Copperfox]

Dwarves drop the watermelon rind, and other garbage, into an experimental plant ("plant" in the mechanical sense) for producing natural gas from garbage. This to add to the natural-gas supply we already have from a source I'm too polite to specify.

Then we shoot a volley of napkins and wet-wipes in the Elves' direction.

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

Since when did we turn into picknickers instead of enemies? alright I'll be the slimeball *shoots slimeball at dwarves* told you.

 

[Copperfox]

Just what we wanted! After all, we Dwarves don't bother with napkins much; and that got the Elves to shoot slime! All the slime gets pumped into the natural-gas plant. Meanwhile, to keep up the comical combat, we send several hundred obsolete flying beards on a suicide mission (if they were actually alive in the first place) to tie Elves' shoes together so the Elves will stumble and fall.

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

*recruits mice, meerkats and kittens to untie shoelaces* wait, we wear shoes?

 

[Glenburne]

*baby Elf wiggles its bare toes*

 

[Copperfox]

The baby wouldn't wear shoes, but Tolkien himself wrote of Legolas wearing shoes.

 

[Glenburne]

*baby Elf drools on the LOTR books*

 

[Copperfox]

JRR Tolkien himself descends from Heaven and miraculously dries the books. As he flies away again, the Dwarves bombard the Elf camp with hundreds of whoopee cushions.

 

[Glenburne]

The Elves don't care; they have ear plugs, and whoopie cushions don't hurt anyway.

*baby Elf spits up on the LOTR books, permanently staining them*

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

*hides all books (LOTR or other) from the baby elf* myyyyy booooooooooksss.

 

[Copperfox]

Mr. Tolkien comes down again, and as a blessed heavenly spirit is able to overrule the so-called permanent defacing of his books. The Dwarves now get mean--launching tons of JUNK MAIL!!

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

*burns junkmail* hey thanks! I like to burn stuff *creepy grin* I'm a pyromaniac.

*delivers a damage cost paper to the dwarves stating how they destroyed the elves camp and now must pay a fine of 100000000000000000000000000$ by noon*

 

[Copperfox]

The Dwarves send paper airplanes over; each of these, when unfolded, bears the same text:

"Let's see, that is _almost_ equal to the expense you caused us when you had Giants trample in our upper tunnels; so you can pay us just the difference, about five million dollars."

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

The Dwarves send paper airplanes over; each of these, when unfolded, bears the same text:

"Let's see, that is _almost_ equal to the expense you caused us when you had Giants trample in our upper tunnels; so you can pay us just the difference, about five million dollars."

do you except pennies?

 

[Zella]

We do not owe the Dwarves any money, that extra five million is what we've lost in tents!

 

[Glenburne]

*baby Elf spits up on LOTR books again; and Tolkien's earth visa has run out*

 

[Sopespian]

do you except pennies?

I doubt it, but they may accept them!