Write a note to the person above you II

Dear Prometheus,

The world is better off with Zeus stuck in front of the telly, don't we all agree? It's his fault entirely that Europe is the only continent that doesn't start with an A.

Sincerely,
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

Yes, the world is better off, but you have to admit that, when the only thing you get to watch is an eagle eating your liver, it gets old. Anyway, Zeus wasn't exactly hoarding televisions out of the goodness of his heart, no matter what he says about encouraging the masses to read. This is the guy who wanted to let them all freeze to death.

Sincerely,
Prometheus
 
Dear Freckles,

Fine. I'll give up on television and just demand access to Radio Hades during the Persephone Hour.

Sincerely,
Prometheus
 
Dear Freckles,

I am not Poseidon, and I don't particularly like him, either. He might be my brother, but he's happy sometimes. Drives me nuts.

Sincerely,
Hades
 
Dear Hades & Persephone,

Stop fighting; I can't sleep when you're shouting at each other. The Mediterranean is right above your living room. No one cares about the stupid dog anyway. :mad:

Poseidon
 
Dear Poseidon,

Stop insulting Cerberus. If no one cared about him, how did his picture end up on human vases? Anyway, if he doesn't bother you, come down and feed him sometime.

Yours,
Hades
 
Dear Hades,

Apparently my last letter got lost in the post; someone should fire Hermes already. But you can probably guess what I meant to convey in my letter: unequalled disdain and loathing.

Sincerely,
Poseidon
 
Dear Poseidon,

I agree on Hermes. Otherwise, whatever. Your treatment of Odysseus was atrocious. I, on the other hand, allowed him to have a nice visit. No one-eyed monster sons trying to eat him, etc.

You're welcome to feed my dog. Any time you like.

-Hades
 
Hades.

I feed your dog all the time. Have you looked at the latest statistics? 23% of accidental deaths happen by shipwreck... as well as 17% of staged accidents. I take full credit for the accidental ones. How people manage to stage shipwrecks, I don't know, but I admire the creativity and initiative I'm sure the endeavor requires.

Sincerely,
Poseidon
 
Dear Poseidon,

I did not say, "Feed people to my dog." I said, "Feed my dog." As in, come down here and get to know him a little. Pat his three heads, etc.

-Hades
 
Dear Hades,

So sorry but I seem to be really busy this century. Got a lot on my plate with the day job and agreeing to oversee the water-related disciplines in the upcoming Olympics, Amphitrite is nagging me to spend time with her, etc. You see how it is.

Hugs and cuddles for my favorite brother,
Poseidon
 
Dear Poseidon,

I hate hugs. I married Persephone because she can link pinkies with me and feel satisfied.

-Hades
 
Dear Thor,

You are, as usual, confused. I hate hugs; Persephone is a remarkably logical and adaptable woman. Your wife is unaffectionate in general, and you are pathetic. Perhaps you should see Odin for marriage counseling.

Then again, maybe not.

-Hades
 
Dear Thor,

Think about it. The first three sessions are completely free* plus you get an exclusive tour of Niflheim**!

Sincerely,
Odin

______________________________
*Helpful advice not included.
**Please take note that Niflheim road toll is 7 denarii per foot touching the ground. All visitors must read the brochure "The Step by Step Guide to Hugging a Frost Giant" and make funeral arrangements prior to the tour.
 
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