Write a note to the person above you II

Dear Apollo,

the google search for "Apollo" and "cool" yields 0 results. And anyway, the term is inappropriate for a sun god. Consider your claim refuted.

Sincerely,
Athena
 
Dear Athena,

The Google search for "apollo AND cool" actually yielded about 18,100,000 results, but mostly they were about air conditioning units, restaurants, and softball. On the bright side (for him), a town in Pennsylvania has been named in his honor. "athena AND idiot" didn't turn up as many results, but there were still about 389,000.

-Loki
 
Dear Athena,

Oh, not much. Just a chain of hostels. And a C++ software library. And a clothing company. And an entertainment software system. And a workforce management system. And Loki's Castle, the field of hydrothermal vents between Norway and Greenland, where a new group of microbes has been found and named after me.

Nope, not much at all.

-Loki
 
Dear Loki,

Anyway, why did you have to butt into Apollo's and my conversation? Crossing mythological borders without being able to provide the appropriate documents can get you into a lot of trouble around here.

On a completely unrelated note, Hades is looking for a dogsitter. I couldn't interest you in the position by any chance? I hear you have experience working with animals... or as animals, anyway.

Think about it.
Athena
 
Dear Athena,

I don't sit. I borrowed a falcon cloak so I can fly. Anyway I'm not afraid of dogs. My son is a wolf, remember?

Go watch Cerberus yourself, and stop trying to be the mythology police. I can show up where I want to. I shift shapes, I fly around, I'm pretty cool in general.

-Loki
 
Dear Loki,

Interested in a war?

Artemis

(Don't ask why my Greek mythology alter-ego is Artemis. It's a long story. A very long story.)
 
(If the story involves Artemis Fowl, you're fired.)

Dear Artemis,

Hunt all you like, but have you ever rescued someone from a giant? No. Shapeshifted into a giant? No. Tried to knock some sense into the chief god, who probably thinks he's a giant? No. Zeus is your dad, of course not. Fight someone your own size. In the mean time, I've got a few words to say to Odin.

-Loki
 
(Wait, I'm Artemis, not Athena. Why would I propose a war? *sigh* I must've been tired last night.)

Dear Loki,

The story has nothing to do with Artemis Fowl. And fired? From what?
I couldn't care less about my father. Me included, he has more illegitimate children than Antonio Cromartie. Look it up. He's basically dead to me. *looks outside window* Wow, that thunderstorm came up quickly. Hmm.
Anyway, perhaps you'd like to join me for a hunt someday. If not, I'll probably ask a DC character. I hear Bruce Wayne is nice.

Artemis
 
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Dear Artemis,

I'd totally back you up if you wanted to go to war against Loki. Also, you're amazing with a bow and arrow; you could take on someone like Loki any day. He's all talk, and a little bit frightening magic.

Audaces fortuna adiuvat.
Athena
 
Dear Athena,

All talk?! Imagine this: I turn myself into your double, and Artemis can't figure out which one of us to shoot. See you on Ragnarok,

Loki
 
Dear Low-Key

So I shoot you both to remove all doubt. I may kill the person I just allied with, but oh, well. Alliances are made to be broken. Browncoats forever and all that jazz.

Artemis
 
Dear Glenburne,

I find myself loathing all the people/groups/entities using your account (except Prometheus - I just feel sorry for him). Why don't you change your password and get rid of them once and for all? Actually, I'm surprised none of them have had that idea... Anyway, be cautious, or Loki is going to start Ragnarök from your account and the whole thing will be blamed on you by the odd survivor. Think of your reputation. You really don't want all those shiny green dots turn into red dots saying, "Glenburne used to be really nice, but then she caused the apocalypse."

Sincerely,
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

But I really, REALLY need a television. If you had an eagle picking your liver out every day, you'd want something to distract you, too.

-Prometheus
 
Dear Prometheus,

There are so many other internal organs you could focus on: lungs, kidneys, guts, spleen... Really, what a pathetic excuse for being a couch potato. Or in your case, rock potato.

Sincerely,
Freckles
 
Dear Freckles,

Prometheus can't talk right now. He's pretty upset about you calling him a rock potato. He's gotten the eagle's feathers wet, and now the eagle is pecking out his appendix in revenge.

Know what? You're pretty good at upsetting other people. How 'bout you have some fun with me? We could try upsetting Thor. Cut off his wife's hair, maybe?

-Loki
 
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