Adventures during the Golden Age in Narnia
- Thread starter QueenLucyTheValient
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TheWoodBetweenTheWorlds
New member
Hey, so I'll be honest, I thought that the first chapter wasnt as strong as it could be, but it was much improved by the second. I was just thinking about how you wrote the dialouge between the girl and her mother in the first chapter was a very twenty-first century way of speaking... It is very much your style QLTV but not nessesarily times appropiriate. Because if this is during the time the pevensies were there then, if you think about it, they were from like the forties. And Narnia, as you know, is a midevial-ish world. But this is just to take into consideration. I'm not really an expert or anything, as you know... 
Just my imediate thoughts...
Just my imediate thoughts...
QueenLucyTheValient
New member
WBW, I made their dialogue like that, first, cause i guess i just did not think about the 21st-centuryness of it, and second, cause i wanted to show the reader just what kind of person Alana was. I could have done it in a more medieval-era way, but I was not sure how.. But thanks for the imput, I will work on that next time.
But thanks for the imput, I will work on that next time.
QueenLucyTheValient
New member
Here is the next chapter, It may be shorter than I would like it, cause I am literally making it up as I type. 
Chapter 3
Alana and her company arrived at Anvard late into the night. King Lune welcomed them personally and helped them to get settled in to their rooms for the night. They all thanked him kindly, and as they were very tired from all the hard riding, saw to their horses and immediately afterwords went to bed.
The next morning they got up early and rode for Cair Paravel, but not without breakfast and a long chat with King Lune, who praised the Narnian Kings and Queens most highly. They rode up to the mountains, but stopped.
"What was that?" Alana asked as they heard a long howl.
"Probably just wolves, madam, nothing to worry about." said her chief guard, Razin. He was about to find out just how wrong he was...
*****
They entered the mountains, very cautiously, and started the ascension. All went well, until they reached the Narnian side. When they arrived on the Narnian side of the mountains, the howls started again, but this time the were closer, and much different than the previous one they heard earlier in the day.
"I want to get out of these mountains as soon as possible." Alana demanded.
"We will see what we can do, Madam, but it may be difficult. These may be werewolves, or talking wolves. They are no easy task to defeat if we run into them." Razin replied cautiously.
"Well then go ahead and see what it is. If it is a talking beast, well then tell the thing to back off because we are on a peaceful quest to Cair Paravel and mean them no harm." Alana said, waving off Razin's cautious nature that would later save them many lives.
But he sighed and said "Yes, Madam." He took with him two of his strongest men and left the rest to guard Alana. They soon returned with bad news. "It is a whole pack of werewolves, closing in on us from every direction. We will have to fight them. Stay here, Madam." He and is company surrounded her on every side and waited. Then they heard one saying to the others in a very dog-like voice, "these are not the King's or Queen's company? But they already know we are here. We must kill them now, lest they go tell the High King where we are that he may destroy us."
The soldiers started to quake with fear, but Alana was silent. She did not know what to do, and was secretly fearful of the attack that was to happen. Then it happened. The werewolves attacked. Razin was right, they were tough. To hard to defeat with swords that were only for show. The soldiers fell one by one, until there were only several left. Then Alana knew that she may not make it out alive, and for once, did not feel so selfish. But that feeling quickly fell away and she bolted. She grabbed the reins for her horse and urged it into a gallop. Razin shouted at her to wait, but she paid no heed to his warning. Suddenly all of the werewolves ran at her in full speed. They were soon on top of her. She screamed..
*****
Peter was out with his company in search of their 'guest' who was to have arrived several hours ago. "Ed, where were they last sighted?"
"Peter, we do not have scouts on this border.. " Ed replied, not sure where Peter was going with his question.
"The werewolves were seen around here last, were they not?" Peter questioned. Edmund stared at him for a moment, but soon realized where he was going.
"You don't think that...." But his voice trailed off as they heard a loud scream.
"That must have been them! Too arms, Gentlemen!!" Edmund shouted triumphantly. Peter rolled his eyes at his brothers very showy performance, as Edmund reigned his horse into a rear and shouted "CHARGE!!!" The men all looked at Peter, who nodded his approval. They rode into the mountains toward the site they heard the scream come from.
Chapter 3
Alana and her company arrived at Anvard late into the night. King Lune welcomed them personally and helped them to get settled in to their rooms for the night. They all thanked him kindly, and as they were very tired from all the hard riding, saw to their horses and immediately afterwords went to bed.
The next morning they got up early and rode for Cair Paravel, but not without breakfast and a long chat with King Lune, who praised the Narnian Kings and Queens most highly. They rode up to the mountains, but stopped.
"What was that?" Alana asked as they heard a long howl.
"Probably just wolves, madam, nothing to worry about." said her chief guard, Razin. He was about to find out just how wrong he was...
*****
They entered the mountains, very cautiously, and started the ascension. All went well, until they reached the Narnian side. When they arrived on the Narnian side of the mountains, the howls started again, but this time the were closer, and much different than the previous one they heard earlier in the day.
"I want to get out of these mountains as soon as possible." Alana demanded.
"We will see what we can do, Madam, but it may be difficult. These may be werewolves, or talking wolves. They are no easy task to defeat if we run into them." Razin replied cautiously.
"Well then go ahead and see what it is. If it is a talking beast, well then tell the thing to back off because we are on a peaceful quest to Cair Paravel and mean them no harm." Alana said, waving off Razin's cautious nature that would later save them many lives.
But he sighed and said "Yes, Madam." He took with him two of his strongest men and left the rest to guard Alana. They soon returned with bad news. "It is a whole pack of werewolves, closing in on us from every direction. We will have to fight them. Stay here, Madam." He and is company surrounded her on every side and waited. Then they heard one saying to the others in a very dog-like voice, "these are not the King's or Queen's company? But they already know we are here. We must kill them now, lest they go tell the High King where we are that he may destroy us."
The soldiers started to quake with fear, but Alana was silent. She did not know what to do, and was secretly fearful of the attack that was to happen. Then it happened. The werewolves attacked. Razin was right, they were tough. To hard to defeat with swords that were only for show. The soldiers fell one by one, until there were only several left. Then Alana knew that she may not make it out alive, and for once, did not feel so selfish. But that feeling quickly fell away and she bolted. She grabbed the reins for her horse and urged it into a gallop. Razin shouted at her to wait, but she paid no heed to his warning. Suddenly all of the werewolves ran at her in full speed. They were soon on top of her. She screamed..
*****
Peter was out with his company in search of their 'guest' who was to have arrived several hours ago. "Ed, where were they last sighted?"
"Peter, we do not have scouts on this border.. " Ed replied, not sure where Peter was going with his question.
"The werewolves were seen around here last, were they not?" Peter questioned. Edmund stared at him for a moment, but soon realized where he was going.
"You don't think that...." But his voice trailed off as they heard a loud scream.
"That must have been them! Too arms, Gentlemen!!" Edmund shouted triumphantly. Peter rolled his eyes at his brothers very showy performance, as Edmund reigned his horse into a rear and shouted "CHARGE!!!" The men all looked at Peter, who nodded his approval. They rode into the mountains toward the site they heard the scream come from.
TheWoodBetweenTheWorlds
New member
Ooooh it's getting exciting! 
T
TheRadiantSouthernSun
Guest
wow this is really good. I cant wait till the next chapter.
I'm getting really curious about the plot. ^.^
T
TheRadiantSouthernSun
Guest
The suspence is killing me. I can't wait to see what happens!!
QueenLucyTheValient
New member
Here is the next chapter. Sorry it took so long, guys. 
Chapter 4
She was going to die, she just knew it. The werewolves were surrounding her and she had no one to defend her. They were closing in on the kill. She closed her eyes, hoping it would not hurt much when all of a sudden a loud war-cry came ringing out from the north, saying "FOR NARNIA!!!" She heard the galloping of hooves, the snarling of werewolves, and the sound of swords clashing against the werewolves tough skin and teeth. Before she knew what was happening, she was hoisted onto the back of a brawny, handsome young man's horse. "Hold on, my lady!" he shouted valiantly as he brought his sword crashing down on the skull of a werewolf that had been closing in on them, killing it instantly.
Now, I will spare you the gory details, but what you do need to know is that the Narnians had indeed come to the rescue and ended up chasing the few remaining werewolves so far away to the north that they would not trouble Narnia for a long while. They also managed to rescue the remainder of Alana's guards. As the man in front of her on the horse finally slid off, she realized just who it was whose horse she had been riding on the back of, High King Peter the Magnificent, High King over all kings of Narnia, Lord of Cair Paravel and Emperor of the Lone Islands, Knight of the most noble order of the Lion. She was actually shy as he helped her off his horse.
"I am High King Peter, and this" he said, indicating to a younger, dark-haired teenager standing behind him, "is my brother, King Edmund the Just, made king under me by Aslan himself. This is Peridan, my general, good friend, and advisor. I assume that you are Alana, the guest from Archenland who was to have arrived earlier this morning?" he said, looking quizzically at Peridan.
"Yes, Peridan, did you not say that the southern border was 'safe for travelers'?" Edmund questioned with a serious look on his face, but a smile in his eyes. " I thought you had taken care of our 'werewolf' problem."
"So had I, your Majesty. But it appears that I was mistaken. I apologize most heartily. It was not my intent for something like this to happen. Please forgive me, Your Majesties." He said, humbly bowing to the High King and his brother.
"It is alright, Peridan. Everyone makes mistakes. Just be glad yours was not like mine, for if it was, I would have your head for it." Edmund replied, this time unable to contain his smile. "After all, what would Peter do without Your Clumsiness to guide him in the ways of your klutzy manner." Edmund laughed. Peter just stood shaking his head. "Ed," he asked, "what in the name of Aslan has gotten into you today?" Edmund just shrugged and then turned to Alana. "You are not hurt, I trust?"
"I am unharmed." She replied, curtsying hastily. "Thank you, Your Majesties. My life is forever indebted to you." She looked at Peter and offered a shy smile, to which he laid his hand on her shoulder and said "It is our job to protect those in our country, you most of all." he said, then, adding hastily because Edmund was about to burst into insane laughter. "Because you are a guest!" After which Edmund did indeed burst into a fit of laughter. Peter mounted his horse, helped Alana onto the back of it, and shouted "We ride for Cair Paravel!!! We should reach it by sundown."
By the way, Peridan is in the Horse and His Boy. I just thought I would clarify that I did NOT make him up.
Chapter 4
She was going to die, she just knew it. The werewolves were surrounding her and she had no one to defend her. They were closing in on the kill. She closed her eyes, hoping it would not hurt much when all of a sudden a loud war-cry came ringing out from the north, saying "FOR NARNIA!!!" She heard the galloping of hooves, the snarling of werewolves, and the sound of swords clashing against the werewolves tough skin and teeth. Before she knew what was happening, she was hoisted onto the back of a brawny, handsome young man's horse. "Hold on, my lady!" he shouted valiantly as he brought his sword crashing down on the skull of a werewolf that had been closing in on them, killing it instantly.
Now, I will spare you the gory details, but what you do need to know is that the Narnians had indeed come to the rescue and ended up chasing the few remaining werewolves so far away to the north that they would not trouble Narnia for a long while. They also managed to rescue the remainder of Alana's guards. As the man in front of her on the horse finally slid off, she realized just who it was whose horse she had been riding on the back of, High King Peter the Magnificent, High King over all kings of Narnia, Lord of Cair Paravel and Emperor of the Lone Islands, Knight of the most noble order of the Lion. She was actually shy as he helped her off his horse.
"I am High King Peter, and this" he said, indicating to a younger, dark-haired teenager standing behind him, "is my brother, King Edmund the Just, made king under me by Aslan himself. This is Peridan, my general, good friend, and advisor. I assume that you are Alana, the guest from Archenland who was to have arrived earlier this morning?" he said, looking quizzically at Peridan.
"Yes, Peridan, did you not say that the southern border was 'safe for travelers'?" Edmund questioned with a serious look on his face, but a smile in his eyes. " I thought you had taken care of our 'werewolf' problem."
"So had I, your Majesty. But it appears that I was mistaken. I apologize most heartily. It was not my intent for something like this to happen. Please forgive me, Your Majesties." He said, humbly bowing to the High King and his brother.
"It is alright, Peridan. Everyone makes mistakes. Just be glad yours was not like mine, for if it was, I would have your head for it." Edmund replied, this time unable to contain his smile. "After all, what would Peter do without Your Clumsiness to guide him in the ways of your klutzy manner." Edmund laughed. Peter just stood shaking his head. "Ed," he asked, "what in the name of Aslan has gotten into you today?" Edmund just shrugged and then turned to Alana. "You are not hurt, I trust?"
"I am unharmed." She replied, curtsying hastily. "Thank you, Your Majesties. My life is forever indebted to you." She looked at Peter and offered a shy smile, to which he laid his hand on her shoulder and said "It is our job to protect those in our country, you most of all." he said, then, adding hastily because Edmund was about to burst into insane laughter. "Because you are a guest!" After which Edmund did indeed burst into a fit of laughter. Peter mounted his horse, helped Alana onto the back of it, and shouted "We ride for Cair Paravel!!! We should reach it by sundown."
By the way, Peridan is in the Horse and His Boy. I just thought I would clarify that I did NOT make him up.
T
TheRadiantSouthernSun
Guest
you made Peter sound even cuter then from the movies. This story is going to get cool to read
QueenLucyTheValient
New member
Chapter 5
Finally, here is chapter 5 of my story. Sorry it took so long.
Chapter 5
They did indeed reach Cair Paravel before sundown. Upon their arrival, Lucy and Susan rushed to greet the returning troops and the new arrivals. "PETER!!" Lucy shouted as she rushed toward his open arms. The full force of how hard she was running hit him upon impact, forcing him to the ground. She just laughed and rolled off him. When she did, she looked up and saw a beautiful young lady sliding daintily off of Peter's horse. Lucy could not miss the opportunity.
"OOHHH PEEETTTERRR!!!!" she said with a look on her face that told PEter she was up to no good. "Who's she, and why's she on YOUR horse? She sure is pretty, I bet she likes you.." Peter was about ready to burst with embarrassment and anger. "She is our guest. She was on my horse because hers had bolted. Show her and her company to their rooms." He replied shortly. "I need to talk to Peridan, Edmund, and this young fellow here." he said pointing to Razin, who froze in horror.
Peter and the others walked into the castle to Peters office, where Peter sat down at his desk, put his feet up on the desk, and started talking.
"Peridan, what happened?"
Edmund was leaning on the wall casually, and almost slipped as those words.
"Your Majesty?" Peridan questioned, unable to understand why Peter was asking the obvious question.
"Well, um... We ummm... What do you mean by that, Your Highness?"
"Why did the werewolves attack. I thought those had been dealt with."
"Sir, I thought they were dealt with as well. I am as surprised as you are!"
"Well send out, spies, do what you have to do, I WANT NARNIA'S BORDERS SAFE!!!" Peter shouted, slaming his fist on the desk with a bang. Poor Razin in the corner was shaking with fear. Edmund leaned over to him and said "Look, Peter won't hurt you, him or anyone for that matter. He is just upset that you all were attacked." He laughed, finding it funny that his brother was this upset about the whole thing. Maybe Peter liked Alana after all.
"AND YOU, ED!!!!!" Peter roared. (okay, maybe he didn't roar, but just roll with me here.)
The laugh on Edmunds face froze, slowly sliding off his face as if it were melting.
"Yes, Peter?" Edmund responded nervously but calmly.
"First, stop laughing at me. Second, I want you to do anything you can to help Peridan with the werewolf problem. I have a feeling there is more to this than what meets the eye. Now," he broke off, staring very hard at Razin.
My name is Razin, M' Lord."
"Razin, thank you. Tell us about Alana."
"Well, first of all, a warning. She is a terrible flirt." Edmund sniggered. " She is stuck up and proud, she is selfish. Worst of all, she can trick anyone into doing almost anything for her. She can be a good person, but only when in the mood. I think her parents think that all she needs is someone to guide her down the right path, and they are probably right."
"Trick...... almost anything? help?!" Edmund said, obviously frightened. Now it was Peter's turn to snigger.
Finally, here is chapter 5 of my story. Sorry it took so long.
Chapter 5
They did indeed reach Cair Paravel before sundown. Upon their arrival, Lucy and Susan rushed to greet the returning troops and the new arrivals. "PETER!!" Lucy shouted as she rushed toward his open arms. The full force of how hard she was running hit him upon impact, forcing him to the ground. She just laughed and rolled off him. When she did, she looked up and saw a beautiful young lady sliding daintily off of Peter's horse. Lucy could not miss the opportunity.
"OOHHH PEEETTTERRR!!!!" she said with a look on her face that told PEter she was up to no good. "Who's she, and why's she on YOUR horse? She sure is pretty, I bet she likes you.." Peter was about ready to burst with embarrassment and anger. "She is our guest. She was on my horse because hers had bolted. Show her and her company to their rooms." He replied shortly. "I need to talk to Peridan, Edmund, and this young fellow here." he said pointing to Razin, who froze in horror.
Peter and the others walked into the castle to Peters office, where Peter sat down at his desk, put his feet up on the desk, and started talking.
"Peridan, what happened?"
Edmund was leaning on the wall casually, and almost slipped as those words.
"Your Majesty?" Peridan questioned, unable to understand why Peter was asking the obvious question.
"Well, um... We ummm... What do you mean by that, Your Highness?"
"Why did the werewolves attack. I thought those had been dealt with."
"Sir, I thought they were dealt with as well. I am as surprised as you are!"
"Well send out, spies, do what you have to do, I WANT NARNIA'S BORDERS SAFE!!!" Peter shouted, slaming his fist on the desk with a bang. Poor Razin in the corner was shaking with fear. Edmund leaned over to him and said "Look, Peter won't hurt you, him or anyone for that matter. He is just upset that you all were attacked." He laughed, finding it funny that his brother was this upset about the whole thing. Maybe Peter liked Alana after all.
"AND YOU, ED!!!!!" Peter roared. (okay, maybe he didn't roar, but just roll with me here.)
The laugh on Edmunds face froze, slowly sliding off his face as if it were melting.
"Yes, Peter?" Edmund responded nervously but calmly.
"First, stop laughing at me. Second, I want you to do anything you can to help Peridan with the werewolf problem. I have a feeling there is more to this than what meets the eye. Now," he broke off, staring very hard at Razin.
My name is Razin, M' Lord."
"Razin, thank you. Tell us about Alana."
"Well, first of all, a warning. She is a terrible flirt." Edmund sniggered. " She is stuck up and proud, she is selfish. Worst of all, she can trick anyone into doing almost anything for her. She can be a good person, but only when in the mood. I think her parents think that all she needs is someone to guide her down the right path, and they are probably right."
"Trick...... almost anything? help?!" Edmund said, obviously frightened. Now it was Peter's turn to snigger.
T
TheRadiantSouthernSun
Guest
That was really good
Yay! An update! I enjoyed it a lot. I thought that this line was particularly clever:
Keep up the good work!
Keep up the good work!
QueenLucyTheValient
New member
Thanks you two. It means a lot to me. I will write the next chapter prolly tomorrow after church or something.
T
TheRadiantSouthernSun
Guest
hey when will you do the next chapter????
DestinyLies
Active member
Awesome!I love it how you follow along with Mr. Lewis as much as possible...including putting Peridan in. 
I will be reading and following as you write.
I will be reading and following as you write.
QueenLucyTheValient
New member
here is the next chapter... thanks for the compliments everyone, I appreciate them all.
Chapter 6
As this conversation was going on, Queen's Susan and Lucy were showing Alana to her room and the men to the guest barraks. Alana was shocked at the majesty and splendor of the palace. Its tapestries and golden statues of the great lion, Aslan were so majestic and powerful, so beautiful. Alana felt a surge of jealousy pass through her.
"Well, here is your suite." Queen Lucy exclaimed happily. As she looked into the room, however, her jaw dropped in shock. It was so much more beautiful then even Queen Susan's room!
"I hope you like it. I spent all day preparing it." Queen Susan said nervously.
"LIke it? I LOVE IT!!!! It is beautiful! It is better then anything I had at home!" Alan a complimented. Queen Susan sighed with relief. Queen Lucy, however, was still in shock.
"We will let you get settled. Come along, Lucy." Queen Susan said, grabbing Queen Lucy's hand and dragging her out of the room.
Alana sighed and threw herself onto her soft bed. She was going to be happy here after all. Not only did she have a beautiful room, there were plenty of handsome young men her age that were readily available. Especially that High King Peter..
***
Peter was pacing the floor of his office nervously, unsure of what to do about everything. Firstly, he admitted that he was attracted to Alana, but he hated her attitude at the same time. He was very confused about that, nervous as well.
Secondly, he had the problem with the werewolves. He had a feeling that it was more than just random attacks. Scouts had come back that morning, telling him that the minotaurs had attacked a small town near Beaversdam.
The next week, a messenger from the Calormens arrived, stating that Prince Rabadash was coming in less than a fortnight. Peter would not trust the calormen prince with his life, but for the sake of peace was permitting Rabadash to come to Narnia. He only hoped that his sister would not hang on to this suitor as she had the past three, if not for her sake, for his.
Meanwhile Alana and Susan had really hit it off. Alana had already made herself at home, which Edmund complained was driving him batty. Generally speaking, all was well, for the moment.
Then, Peter gave in. His stomach had been growling for the past hour, demanding food. He could not wait. He left his pacing and walked down to the kitchen. There he heard a womans melodious laugh, and the cook roaring with laughter. Alana again..
He walked in, and immediately they both stopped and stood up straight in respect. But then Alana let a little giggle escape.
"Is there something funny, Alana?" Peter asked suspiciously.
"Ye-I mean-No-well yes-I mean... Oh, yes, Your Majesty. There is." Alana stammered.
"Well what is it?" Peter asked, getting angry.
"Well, sir, not to seem disrespectful but... "
Chapter 6
As this conversation was going on, Queen's Susan and Lucy were showing Alana to her room and the men to the guest barraks. Alana was shocked at the majesty and splendor of the palace. Its tapestries and golden statues of the great lion, Aslan were so majestic and powerful, so beautiful. Alana felt a surge of jealousy pass through her.
"Well, here is your suite." Queen Lucy exclaimed happily. As she looked into the room, however, her jaw dropped in shock. It was so much more beautiful then even Queen Susan's room!
"I hope you like it. I spent all day preparing it." Queen Susan said nervously.
"LIke it? I LOVE IT!!!! It is beautiful! It is better then anything I had at home!" Alan a complimented. Queen Susan sighed with relief. Queen Lucy, however, was still in shock.
"We will let you get settled. Come along, Lucy." Queen Susan said, grabbing Queen Lucy's hand and dragging her out of the room.
Alana sighed and threw herself onto her soft bed. She was going to be happy here after all. Not only did she have a beautiful room, there were plenty of handsome young men her age that were readily available. Especially that High King Peter..
***
Peter was pacing the floor of his office nervously, unsure of what to do about everything. Firstly, he admitted that he was attracted to Alana, but he hated her attitude at the same time. He was very confused about that, nervous as well.
Secondly, he had the problem with the werewolves. He had a feeling that it was more than just random attacks. Scouts had come back that morning, telling him that the minotaurs had attacked a small town near Beaversdam.
The next week, a messenger from the Calormens arrived, stating that Prince Rabadash was coming in less than a fortnight. Peter would not trust the calormen prince with his life, but for the sake of peace was permitting Rabadash to come to Narnia. He only hoped that his sister would not hang on to this suitor as she had the past three, if not for her sake, for his.
Meanwhile Alana and Susan had really hit it off. Alana had already made herself at home, which Edmund complained was driving him batty. Generally speaking, all was well, for the moment.
Then, Peter gave in. His stomach had been growling for the past hour, demanding food. He could not wait. He left his pacing and walked down to the kitchen. There he heard a womans melodious laugh, and the cook roaring with laughter. Alana again..
He walked in, and immediately they both stopped and stood up straight in respect. But then Alana let a little giggle escape.
"Is there something funny, Alana?" Peter asked suspiciously.
"Ye-I mean-No-well yes-I mean... Oh, yes, Your Majesty. There is." Alana stammered.
"Well what is it?" Peter asked, getting angry.
"Well, sir, not to seem disrespectful but... "
