Ask a Telmarine!

[Glenburne]

Do Telmarines cats ever get stuck in Telmarine cannons?

 

[Sopespian]

Do Telmarines cats ever get stuck in Telmarine cannons?

Uh, no. Just no.

 

[CORIN THUNDERFIST II]

Cat people, definitely.

They are not so bad, then!

 

[Sopespian]

They are not so bad, then!

I agree!

 

[Glenburne]

So…where do the Telmarine dogs go? Or are they just banished outright?

 

[Sopespian]

So…where do the Telmarine dogs go? Or are they just banished outright?

There is no such thing as a Telmarine dog. All dogs are Narnian.

 

[WarriorSatyr]

What about the non-speaking hunting dogs in Miraz's castle in 'Prince Caspian'? Aren't those Telmarine dogs?

 

[Sopespian]

What about the non-speaking hunting dogs in Miraz's castle in 'Prince Caspian'? Aren't those Telmarine dogs?

No, we stole them from the Narnians.

 

[Glenburne]

So you admit that the Telmarines are thieves?

 

[Sopespian]

So you admit that the Telmarines are thieves?

Of course. I'm proud of our talents.

 

[Eustace C. Scrubb]

Are there still honest Telmarines left?

Were there ever any to begin with?

 

[Sopespian]

Are there still honest Telmarines left?

Were there ever any to begin with?

Oh, yes!

Of course!

 

[Glenburne]

What does "honesty" mean to a Telmarine? And does it disappear when trees are present?

 

[Eustace C. Scrubb]

What does "honesty" mean to a Telmarine? And does it disappear when trees are present?

Why would trees make honesty disappear? Are you saying that all trees are liars, including Lossy?

To Sopespian:

Do you often meet trees that lie?

 

[Sopespian]

What does "honesty" mean to a Telmarine? And does it disappear when trees are present?

It means telling the truth.

I refuse to comment.

Why would trees make honesty disappear? Are you saying that all trees are liars, including Lossy?

To Sopespian:

Do you often meet trees that lie?

No...

 

[Glenburne]

Eustace--Telmarines are afraid of trees, and frightened people tend to be less honest.

And, in that case, Sopespian--What is truth? To a Telmarine, that is.

 

[Sopespian]

Eustace--Telmarines are afraid of trees, and frightened people tend to be less honest.

And, in that case, Sopespian--What is truth? To a Telmarine, that is.

I think I should defer to Ken Ham on this one...

 

[GondorGirl]

Do Telmarines have snow days?

Do Telmarines get a lot of snow?

Do countries in deserts get sandstorm days?

 

[Sopespian]

Do Telmarines have snow days?

Do Telmarines get a lot of snow?

Do countries in deserts get sandstorm days?

Yes.

Some.

I have no idea. Let me call up a Calormene. *calls up Calormene from dungeon to answer question*

Sopespian: Calormene, do you pathetic idiots get sandstorm days down in your forsaken country?

Calormene: My name is Grishlan.

S: That's stupid. I'm calling you Tim. Tim, do you get sandstorm days down in that quagmire that you call Calormom or whatever?

C: I refuse to answer a heathen like you.

S: Yeah, this guy's not worth what we feed him. Kill him.

Royal Guards: Lord Sopespian, we don't feed him. We never feed Calormenes.

S: And how long has he been living down there?

RG: Three years.

S: And it never occurred to you that someone must be sneaking him food if he had survived so long?!

RG: Uh...

C: *laughs sneakily*

S: Grrr... Kill him and then you're all fired!

So to answer your question, yes? no? maybe? I don't know? I'm basically left pulling a Bill Nye over here.

 

[WarriorSatyr]

Do Telmarines or Narnians take more baths?