Ask a Telmarine!

[Sopespian]

Do Telmarines speak English with any kind of accent? If so, which one is the nearest we have to it?

Do Telmarines like snow?

Yes, a northern U.S. accent.

Somewhat.

 

[Glenburne]

How much soap do Telmarines use in a month? And why do they plaster pictures of monarchs wearing uncomfortable clothes all over their bathroom walls?

 

[Sopespian]

How much soap do Telmarines use in a month? And why do they plaster pictures of monarchs wearing uncomfortable clothes all over their bathroom walls?

Enough.

Wait! How have you seen those? What do you know? Spill!

 

[Glenburne]

I know the right people. That's all.

Seriously, though. You can't have gotten the uncomfortable clothes portraits from your pirate ancestors, or from your islander ancestors, so where did they come from?

 

[Miss Freckles]

The DLR are not people, Glen.

 

[Glenburne]

I think Freckles is trying to ask, Were the original Telmarines actually DLR dressed up as pirates?

 

[Miss Freckles]

How are you today, Soapy? How's the missus?

 

[Sopespian]

I know the right people. That's all.

Seriously, though. You can't have gotten the uncomfortable clothes portraits from your pirate ancestors, or from your islander ancestors, so where did they come from?

Are these people spies? Double agents? I need to know.

You'd be surprised how well pirates can clean up when they want to. They're the source.

The DLR are not people, Glen.

True. Not a question, though.

I think Freckles is trying to ask, Were the original Telmarines actually DLR dressed up as pirates?

No. We're not related to those weirdos.

How are you today, Soapy? How's the missus?

Excellent. Tay-tay is fine. Currently she's working on writing a song. Who would have guessed that she'd spend so much time on that and not with me? But oh, well. I'm not upset. Not at all.

 

[Glenburne]

Speaking of being upset...how do Telmarines deal with their emotions? Miraz seems to have mostly worked his out by killing things.

 

[Sopespian]

Speaking of being upset...how do Telmarines deal with their emotions? Miraz seems to have mostly worked his out by killing things.

There's some of that, but mostly we play sports to take away the anger.

 

[Glenburne]

Do Telmarines have any traditional sports? (As in, not modern descendants of rugby....)

 

[Sopespian]

Do Telmarines have any traditional sports? (As in, not modern descendants of rugby....)

We do. It's like tennis, but without racquets. And since no one's raising a racquet, it's a much quieter sport.

 

[WarriorSatyr]

Oh, look. A pun.

Are Telmarines generally fond of puns?

 

[Sopespian]

Oh, look. A pun.

Are Telmarines generally fond of puns?

Fond? Fond is not the word for it. We adore puns, much like Duffers the Can.

 

[Glenburne]

Do the puns mind all the attention, or do they run away and have to be chased down by the Telmarine army?

 

[Sopespian]

Do the puns mind all the attention, or do they run away and have to be chased down by the Telmarine army?

They are not sentient.

 

[Glenburne]

They heard you say that. Bad idea.

So, how good are Telmarines at running?

 

[Sopespian]

They heard you say that. Bad idea.

So, how good are Telmarines at running?

Ehrm... not great. Not great.

 

[Glenburne]

*watches puns overtaking Sopespian* Just wondering, how do Miraz and Glozelle feel about puns? Maybe you could hire them to negotiate?

 

[Miss Freckles]

Where are the Telmarines when you need them?