Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

However he could at least take solace in the fact that with Twilight erased, so t0o were the books like 50 Shades of Grey that began as a Twilight Fan Fiction. This was a victory, but a small one. For now, that would have to be enough.
 
So King Arthur showed up and said to Grey Eagle, "I find myself terribly perplexed ever since Merlin told me of a vision of the future in which he saw that teenagers would one day revere parasitical entities we call vampires above the honorable knights of my Round Table, so I have come to see if this is really true. Is it so? And if it is, will you concede to join me along with my war band of Round Table knights to hunt down and kill these parasitical entities?"
 
Grey Eagle replied to King Arthur, "With a good will shall I do as Your Majesty desires. As Your Majesty comes in about three dozen versions, it will not shock you if I say that I come in two versions myself. The self of me whom you see before you is the original, and is the one particularly concerned with combatting undead parasites. The newer version of me will be the hero of a science-fiction series. Those new books will be, in the literary sense, 'in the same universe' as the Alipang Havens novels, but set in the twenty-second century. Since the later Grey Eagle is the one Joseph Ravitts hopes to make money on, I the first Grey Eagle am free and available to set forth on Your Majesty's chosen mission."
 
King Arthur was delighted about Grey Eagle joining him on his crusade to rid the world of vampires, so he had Merlin bring him a horse and they soon set off to seek and destroy the blood-sucking parasites wherever they may be found.
 
Also joining them were Thorin Oakenshield, Batman, Yoda, Reepicheep, Iron Man, Wolverine ( who had the power to transform into Jean Val Jean, in hopes of teaching those parasiets how to really treat women, and Van Helsing, in case Wolverine and Jean Val Jean didn't work), Optimus Prime ( from Transformers), Bob the Janitor, and Aquaman ( with his all purpose cleaner).
 
Mister Bill the clay puppet also joined them. He couldn't exactly fight, but he had the advantage that NOTHING could ever actually kill him. He could survive things that would EVEN kill Wolverine; and his very helplessness could possibly be useful to distract the monsters.
 
As they traveled along they met up with Gilgamesh, Odysseus, Hector, Beowulf, Sigurd of the Volsungs, Robin Hood, Faramir and Eowyn ( Eowyn had actually learned to cook too, which was a plus), and Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name. And because every group needs a token cowerd, Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot, and the aptly named Sir Not Appearing in this Picture.
 
The first vampire they encountered was a tall fellow VERY much into the sexy-male-model style in vogue for modern vampires. He was so busy practicing his seductive poses for paperback-book covers, that he didn't even notice all the superheroes discussing who should have the honor of this kill.
 
Then they all stopped for lunch at Round Table Pizza, where they held a big pizza party. When Mr. Bill got up to go to the bathroom, Edward Cullen just happened to be stepping out of the door in front of him. The sparkling parasite just laughed at the little clay puppet, then stepped on him, laughing at the fact that Mr. Bill was now flat- AGAIN. Abe Lincoln also happened to be in the restaurant, so when he saw what was going on, he took out his hatchet and walloped off Edward's head, just as Wolverine was scooting out of his chair.
 
Sir Tom the Dragon Knight said:
Oh! And I might add that Abe Lincoln was also the one who sneaked up and killed the male model vampire.
Click to expand...

Wolverine was impressed with the quality of Mister Bill's regeneration ability, and remarked to the little clay figure, "Very good! I wouldn't recover THAT fast if I were smashed flat! In fact, if something DID succeed in actually flattening me, I'd be in real trouble, because I wouldn't have the strength to bend my own adamantium bones back into normal position."
 
Mr. Bill with his high-pitched puppet voice just said, "Yeah, being made of clay really comes in handy some times! But it also gets annoying..."

Meanwhile, Bilbo Baggins was just refilling his cup of root beer when suddenly-
 
...he saw a startling sight: Radagast the Brown stooped over a large trough of water, actually WASHING the bird-poop OUT OF his hair!
 
Rather than Shampoo he was using Aquaman's all purpsoe cleaner. Aquaman quickly sought his services as a celebrity endorser.

Abe Lincoln stood up and said ,"We hear highly resolve, that Mr. Bill will not ahve died in vain. But that we will have a new birth of freedom from these sparkly parasites."
 
Sir RObin looked up from his drink, pointed at Mr. Bill and said, "He got better!"

Miracle Max popped up from behind the counter and urged them to check to make sure both Vampires were really dead.
 
Miracle Max replied, "Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that these sparkly parasites here are only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do. "
 
"Yes, yes, we've been over this before." Inigo then proceeded to drive his sword through the hearts of the headless corpses. "All dead now? Their brains as well as their hearts have been completely disabled."
 
Miracle Max replied,"Wel lasdie from going through their pockets, ther'es one other thing you have to do to these parasites... burn 'em. That way they can't regenerate. Burn 'em in the hottest thing around."

Wovlerine remarked," Like a pizza oven?"
 
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