Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Since Arthur and his knights (other than Sir Robin) would not run to save themselves, Grey Eagle and Green Lantern took their stand beside the medieval heroes, cutting loose with their energy powers to consume as many vampires as possible.
 
As Thor threw his hammer at the approaching hoard, Arthur lobbed the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch at the Vampire hoardes. One vampire tried to eat the handgrenade.
 
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Which resulted in an explosion of vampire brains and guts all over the place. As Arthur heroically cut through every vampire within his sword's length from him, the heroes soon saw that they had much more to deal with than they had thought as their strength began to wane. But a glimmer of hope came in the form of- the male T-Rex from the Lost World: Jurassic Park! The T-Rex came through gulping down two skinny vampires with every bite!
 
Things took a turn for the worst when a group of vampries grabbed Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin and used them as human sheilds and threatened to "turn them" if they hereos didn't surrender.

which was when Legolas, Green Arrow, Robin Hood and Hawkeye (Avengers version) shot the cowardly vampires with arrows.
 
Everything was going smoothly again, when suddenly 10,000 uruk-hai from Isengard joined the battle on the side of the vampires!
"Show them no mercy, for you shall receive none!" Shouted Aragorn as he heroically cut through the ranks of evil.
 
Suddenly a great roar was heard. It was the roar of the superhero Lion-Guy, a friend of Grey Eagle who hadn't been seen for awhile. Besides "regular" super-strength, Lion-Guy's foremost power was in his roar. All evildoers who heard his roar would be frightened, while all good people hearing it would gain strength and confidence.
 
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This really helped the forces of good in the battle, but then Sauron sent in his vast horde from Mordor... Gandalf, Radagast and Merlin scrambled to provide enough support to all of the heroes.
 
The called forth every random side character on the sides of hereos in TV movies and comic books. This included every kid who put ona Robin cosyume ( both in continuity and out of continuity, plus the Robin John Blake from the recent Batman) War-Machine, and even the random fighter pilots for the Rebel Allaicne in Star Wars.

One random fighter pilot was attacked by five vampires. AS he flew overhead he was heard screaming, 'There's too many of them! AHHHH!"

And then plunged his tinto the ranks of the enemies.
 
Good guys came hurrying over from Copperfox's stories, including Alipang Havens, Liang Ni-Wa, Chin Lu-Mao, Ironbulk the Talking Elephant, and Emmett the Gunslinger. Another mighty roar from Lion-Guy slowed down the evil forces while the good-guy reinforcements were getting into position.
 
With all this good concentrated in one battle, two holiday figures from the holiest of holydays just had to show up and help. So Santa Claus came flying through at lightning speed on his sleigh, slashing the heads off of vampires and orcs with his sword (why doesn't anyone ever talk about Santa's weapons?) in his left hand, and shooting the ones he couldn't reach with the Colt 45 revolver in his right hand. But wait! I said TWO holiday figures! The EASTER BUNNY came hopping onto the scene, lobbing Easter egg grenades at the enemy, taking out 4-7 baddies per throw!
 
Sir Tom the Dragon Knight said:
With all this good concentrated in one battle, two holiday figures from the holiest of holydays just had to show up and help. So Santa Claus came flying through at lightning speed on his sleigh, slashing the heads off of vampires and orcs with his sword (why doesn't anyone ever talk about Santa's weapons?) in his left hand, and shooting the ones he couldn't reach with the Colt 45 revolver in his right hand. But wait! I said TWO holiday figures! The EASTER BUNNY came hopping onto the scene, lobbing Easter egg grenades at the enemy, taking out 4-7 baddies per throw!
Click to expand...

Then Chuck Norris arrived, and his first frown disintegrated twenty Uruk-Hai.

 
Much to the surprise of the heroes Magneto, Lex Luthor, Ra's Al Ghul and Dr. Doom were fighting on the side of good. Magneto spoke for all of them when he said, "We may be villians but even we know what constitutes good literature. Teen-age vampire romance novels are not it. For today we shall put aside our animosity and rid the world of this putrid filth. "

However things took a turn for the worst when the vampires unleashed their most dreaded weapon....The stupid Monster High Dolls that are the Unholy offspring of famous monsters and the equally stupid Bratz dolls.
 
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To counter this, Doctor Who brought Shirley Temple forward from the year 1935. Her aura of _normal_ childhood burned out the Bratz programming in the monster dolls. Then she turned to greet Doctor Doom and the other villains who had joined the good guys, and her cuteness caused them to turn _permanently_ good.
 
However because the Monster High girls were still monsters and not dead yet, Lucy Pevensie, Polly Plummer, Jill Pole, Galadriel, Arwen and Eowyn took them on saying, "We're better roll models for young girls."

The USS Enterpise potioned itself above the fray.

'Scotty.." said Kirk. "Get ready.. to ... offer any...assistance...that... our fellow... heroes... may need."

Spock replied,"Captain, the Logical thing to do would be assess any weakness these monsters have."

Bones growled," Darn it, Spock, you green-blooded hobgoblin! These versions don't die in sunlight. That's the only way to kill 'em!"

"Illogical," said Spock." Every creature, no matter how invulnerable, must have a weakness. "

"Why don't we just have you talk at 'em," McCoy shot back. "That's sure to knock 'em out."

Scott got the teleporter ready and beamed up five vampires. However today was the day when the teleporter was on the fritz so one vampire ended up with like his foot in his chest and another head his head on his arm and it was all a mess. They died because of this.

"Scotty..." asked Kirk. "You didnt....have ...anything... to do.. with..that, now..did you?"

Scotty smiled, "Who, me, Capn'? Why, I'd never negelect to fix the teleporter in a time of crisis."
 
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The so-called comedienne and so-called actress Rosie O'Donnell decided to help the side of evil (which she CALLED the side of "progress") by offering HERSELF as the correct female role model. Fifty or so of the monster robots were so nauseated by her, that they decided to join the side of good.
 
Galadriel stammered, "Rosie O'Donnell, how many times have you been killed in this RPG? "

Wolverine remarked, "And I thought we X-Men characters couldn't take a hint."

Thankfully before Rosie could open her Godzilla showed up with King Kong and they used her for a tug-of war.
 
The tug of war didn't last long... and you can probably guess how it ended. King Kong and Godzilla then proceeded to smash through everything evil in sight.

Then a bunch of western baddies from the most recent western movies showed up, and guess who showed up to defeat them... Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, John Wayne, and Clint Eastwood! Plus a special guest appearance by Fess Parker as Davy Crocket!
 
Iron Man and War Machine saw how much fun Legolas and Gimli were having and decided to make a game out of their own conquests. War machine would toss a vampire in the air while Iron Man would blast it with a repulsor ray while rocking out to "Another one bites the dust."
 
Grey Eagle called for the attention of all heroes not immediately engaged in combat, and told them: "I just got a recon report from Bat-Bat, and he warns us that the enemy has a new source of reinforcements -- in the public school system! Schools which FORBID all recognition of God, yet WELCOME occult fascination, are actually GENERATING more vampires here in cyberspace to replace the ones we slay!"

"Hulk smash!" declared the Hulk.

"Wait, wait!" cried Grey Eagle. "We can't go smashing schoolkids who don't know any better! Even most of the teachers don't know any better, because THEY were taught in the same system. What we need is a counteracting MENTAL influence. Professor Xavier, this sounds like a job for you."
 
Xavier nodded but informed Grey Eagle, "I have to be careful. If I focus too hard I could kill them. "

Then Xavier hooked himself up to his portable Cerbro unit and beagn to counter act them .Magneto and the rest of the X-Men gathered around Xavier to protect him. In this state was was most vulnerable and any one could attack him.
 
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