Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

looked at the scene, saw the Wraith and said,
"Sorry, this is above our pay grade. Better call the Ghostbusters. We used to be able to handle the paranormal, but the union got involved, and the mayor cut our funding so he could have more money to build a golf course."
 
"No need for the Ghostbusters," replied the wraith. "I can sympathize with your situation. Guess how I _became_ a ghost? I used to live in New Orleans, before Hurricane Katrina. The federal government had given the city plenty of money for flood-survival preparations, but the city government chose to use that money building a convention center instead. That's why I died."
 
"I see, I think we can let this one slide, but on one condition," said the police chief. "I don't suppose you have a permit to sell your hair growth formula?"
 
"But I wasn't _selling_ anything," explained the wraith. "What do I need with money now? Having found myself in the position of a supernatural being in a surrealistic version of the real world, I just thought it would be cool to do some good with magic. So I simply _gave_ hair to bald people, at no charge."
 
Meanwhile, Peppy Hare decided he would never again visit the Sweden after people there confused his long ears for pigtails and began calling him Peppy Longstocking. What bothered him more was that people expected him to help with lifting heavy stuff.

" Pfft!" He grumbled as he packed his stuff to go back to Corneria. "I'm not even ginger!"
 
"It's a bit complicated," replied the cat. "I was in a far-off land, participating in a sociopolitical enlightenment, the Tashlan Movement. Then I saw this ugly bird-headed thing, and it scared the socks off me. I don't know how long I was running, but I know that I had lost my ability to talk until I arrived in this alternate roleplay reality."
 
Back in the year 2058, the 10th anniversary screening of Indiana Jones Versus The Adult Diaper Stealing Mummies was in full swing in Los Angeles. May people still wanted to celebrate that movie because of the special CGI effects, which included most scenes with a CGI Harrison Ford. What with Ford being 105 when the the movie was filmed, and falling asleep every 30 minutes, the only way to shoot his scenes was to create them in a computer. That did not matter to any of the members of the Silly American Audience, the alliance formed to support and celebrate... well, celebrities, no matter how old or, in many cases, how degenerate they were. Alliance members arrived in droves to the screening theaters.

Some people, like BarbarianKing, who did not care about celebrities in general, or Harrison Ford in particular (except as Han Solo, of course, but that was a lifetime ago), still attended at least one of the screenings. Actually, those people, and BarbarianKing especially, went only because they were confused. They wanted to know why adult diapers were stealing mummies... or was it the other way around?
 
Some of the people present were people who believed Rosie O'Donnell had great talent. These people were unable to answer the question about mummies and diapers, because they had no brains at all.
 
However, an esteemed mythologist did studies and found that the Twi-hards were the offspring of the Hydra, wherein if you cut one off, five more will grow in their place.
 
When Bruce Willis heard people talking about the Twihards, he came running, thinking they were saying that another "DIE HARD" movie was going to be made.
 
Upon seeing what they were actually talking about, he ran away screaming in the other direction.

When Captain America heard Hydra mentioned he immediately burst onto the scene. Upon seeing what it really was he scratched his head and said , "I thought we dealt with you a couple postings ago. Didn't we burn and destroy the sparkley vampires?"
 
Just then, a man dressed as a pirate swaggered up to Captain America. "Hello, I'm Captain Blood, from the old Errol Flynn movie. I've been wanting to invite you to join the Good Captains Club. Captain Hook is not allowed, but we have other captains ranging from Captain Marvel to Captain Kangaroo."
 
Captain America replied: "Snacks, eh? I'll join your club on one condition: you DON'T try to use my vibranium shield as a SNACK TRAY!"
 
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