Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

But unknown to the good Captain, this was a front for another group of HYDRA and they had deliberately lured him there in order to waste him. This they planned to do by--

--waiting for a moment when Captain America would be looking at his shield, then blowing sneeze-powder in his direction. The expectation was that Cap would sneeze with all his enhanced strength; the vibranium shield would bounce back the force of the sneeze, and Cap would blow his own head off.

Of course, it was not the "real" Errol Flynn Captain Blood who had invited Cap to join the supposed club. It was the evil mutant Mystique in one of her disguises. Yes, she had lost her shape-changing power in an X-Men movie, but the chaotic nature of this roleplay allowed her to have her power again.

 
Wolverine with his enhanced sense of smell detected Mystique and attacked the impostor. Meanwhile the leader of this HYDRA front, Stephanie Meyers who was bound and determined to destroy every work of literature that was not Twilight ( even TV Guide) removed her mask to reveal...
 
Captain Obvious in disguise of course! He sneaked back into the thread because he felt left out of this captains gathering. It was very obvious that he was annoyed by this and found a crazy to sneak back in. The only thing that bothered him now was that the high heels made his feet sore.
 
While Wolverine was spanking Mystique over his knee, a HYDRA agent succeeded in flinging the sneezing powder at Captain America. But Cap held back the sneeze until his nose was no longer pointed at his shield. When he did sneeze, the sneeze blasted Mystique's powers right out of her.
 
When Cap started sneezing again The Hulk did the trick from cartoons where you put the index finger underneath the person's nose. Normally this doesn't work, but when Hulk's finger is the size of an average person's fist it is very effective.
 
The HYDRA agent complained to Thor: "Hey, my organization is named after a monster in _Greek_ mythology, so you _Norse_ characters can't have jurisdiction to arrest me!"
 
Realising that this was so, and not wanting to be on the wrong end of a law suit for wrongful arrest, Thor apologised to the HYDRA agent and allowed him to leave. Thor also gave him a $100 bill as compensation. Unknown to Thor, however, Loki was hiding in a nearby alley and not only witnessed everything, but recorded it all on his mobile phone with the intention of showing it to
 
his friends at TMZ who made it into a story about how Thor sympathizes with terrorists. Unfortunately the State Department got wind of it, and not only was Thor now suspect, but so were his fellow Avengers, including Captain America.
One government agent saw the file and said, "But it's Captain America! He's a World War II veteran and a symbol of this country."
"Can't be helped," said the Attorney general. Bring them all in. Use lethal force if necessary. The President has issued an Executive Order."
 
his friends at TMZ who made it into a story about how Thor sympathizes with terrorists. Unfortunately the State Department got wind of it, and not only was Thor now suspect, but so were his fellow Avengers, including Captain America.
One government agent saw the file and said, "But it's Captain America! He's a World War II veteran and a symbol of this country."
"Can't be helped," said the Attorney general. Bring them all in. Use lethal force if necessary. The President has issued an Executive Order."

But before the Justice Department could attempt to arrest them, Thor and the other superheroes hurried to the headquarters of one of the public-sector civil-servant labor unions. They applied for membership, and were accepted. This made them immune to being arrested or bothered by the federal government.

 
While they were applying for membership, Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD personally saw to it that the pictures, photos, videos and articles that were sent to the Justice Department were destroyed. All he had to do was send a an e-mail containing a virus via an e-mail with the subject heading "FUNNY CAT VIDEO LOLZ!"
 
The reason Phil Coulson could be around was that he had become one of the Immortals from the "Highlander" series. And he was an especially powerful one, because he had beheaded, and taken the life-force of, "Jason" from the stupid "Friday the Thirteenth" movies. Nick Fury accordingly assigned Coulson to lead the defense against the zombies from "World War Z."
 
World War Z ended in five seconds of Agent Coulson's arrival as he came in carrying the really, really big gun from Avengers that was reverse engineered from the Asgardian destroyer .he pointed it at the Zombie hoard, pulled the trigger and fired.
"Hmm," he said in his usual dead pan manner. "Mr .Stark was right. The best weapon really is the one you have to fire once."
 
This was mainly because unlike zombies, telemarketers are rarely grouped in one place. They tend to be found in isolated pockets around the world. So he called every telemarketer number and simply put them on hold and forced to listen to an endless string of Justin Bieber's Baby, Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe, and Psy's Gangam Style.

"A Bit harsh don't you think?" asked Director Fury.

"Desperate times, Director, "said Coulson. "Desperate times. They cut into my Super-nanny. Three times. Once, I'll let it slide. Twice, I may forgive. Three times, and that's it."

"Remind me not to make you angry," said Fury.

"By the way, what ever happened to my near mint-collection of vintage 1942 Captain America Trading cards? They weren't in my locker where I left them."
 
To avoid any difficulty at this point, Nick Fury hit the Emergency Subject-Changing switch, causing the roleplay to shift randomly to a different setting.

Captain Jack Sparrow was in a tavern, on his fifth rum-and-coke of the night, and suddenly exclaimed, "That was remarkable!"

A customer sitting near him, aware of all the supernatural adventures Jack Sparrow had survived, expected to hear something spooky. "What was remarkable, Captain Sparrow? Something with zombies or dragons or mummies?"

"Much weirder than any of those," replied Jack. "I was marvelling about my 'Stranger Tides' movie. It was a regular commercial Hollywood movie.... but it portrayed a CHRISTIAN character as likeable, brave, honest and smart!"

Everyone hearing him gasped in astonishment.
 
Captain Haddock from Herge's The Adventures of Tintin joined them for some drinks and laughs. The party really got started when Quint from Jaws showed up and led them all in some rousing old songs of the sea.
 
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