Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

At this the Kevin Sorbo Hercules, Jason from the Ray Harryhausen Jason and the Argonauts, the criminally underused Odysseus as played by Sean Bean from Troy, and Thor from the Avengers appeared.

"Hercules, you take the ones on the right, Jason you take the straggles, I'll handle the ones in the middle, and Thor you take the ones on the left," said Odysseus.

"Aye," said Thor. "And May the best man, or demigod win, and may we all, when or task is done, enjoy good meed in my father's house."
 
Whoever else was in the heroes' path, Elinor Dashwood got clear of the action by switching back to her ladylike self, whom none of the heroes would wish to offend.
 
In order to provide more bad guys, evil characters from OLD, OLD comic strips turned up, such as Ming the Merciless from "Flash Gordon."
 
Joining him was Bill Dunn, the bald headed-evil telepathic Superman from Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster's original short story "The Reign of the Superman", who was nothing like the hero they would go on to create. The villains also recruited a crudely drawn Sabertooth Tiger from the Lascaux Cave Paintings, a drawing of the Minotaur from a Grecian Urn, Set the brother of Osiris from an Egyptian Hieroglyph, and a crudely drawn Joker from a Batman picture I drew when I was five.
 
So Copperfox countered the artwork villains by reviving HIS OWN childhood artwork HEROES, including Captain David Spit (who actually had no habit of spitting, but a six-year-old lacks a vast pool of character names), Comet Man, Morris Mouse, and a dinosaur cowboy gunslinger known as The Allosaurus Kid.
 
Meanwhile Miracle Max invited Gandalf, Radagast, Corkiakin, Ramandu, Merlin, Prospero, and Oz over to his place for MLT ( Mutton, lettuce and, Tomato) sandwiches.
 
This attracted the attention of the characters from the Fifties science-fiction movie Forbidden Planet, whose plot had been consciously modelled on Shakespeare's The Tempest. Landing in their starship, they emerged to join the party, starting with Robby the Robot, who was loosely based on Ariel, and who in turn was the inspiration for the robot on the later TV series Lost In Space.
 
R2-D2 and C-3P0 from Star Wars also came, but that's more because R2 loves to party and C-3P0 knows what to much WD-40 does to him. Since Obi-Wan Kenobi was referred to as a "crazy old wizard" also arrived as Miracle Max invited him.

However because of the presents of robots and Jedi at a wizard gathering the cast of Wizards of Waverly Place were made that they weren't invited to Miracle Max's soiree.
 
There was some confusion due to the inclusion of OZ at this Wizard party as technically he was more of a snake oil salesmen who passed off as a wizard, but Miracle Max replied, "What can I say? The guy puts on a good show. I'd still have my old job if I had all the razzle-dazzle that he does."
 
Just then, the latest thirteen-year-old self-appointed fantasy princess, who in her own mind could slay an elephant by tapping it with her fingernail, rode up on a horse and cried out, "Everyone stop! You can't have a party that isn't about honoring ME! And you can't have a party FOR me either, because I'm busy riding my horse on a lonely quest that no adult understands. So you're not allowed to do ANYTHING! This roleplay is ONLY about me, so clear out!"

A brand-new Dancing Lawn member asked what this meant. Copperfox explained that several years ago, text-based roleplaying had been swamped by these little narcissists.
 
Oz replied ,"We'd be glad to. But first you must do something for us. First you must get us one of the Rodents of Unusual size that dwells in the Fire Swamp. Then you must bath in the Bog of Eternal Stench. Then you must fetch us a cup of the sweet water from the rim of Narnia. After this, steal the lock of hair of Galadriel from Gimli. Then you must steal the Hammer of Thor from him while he is awake. Next you will go deep into the forest of Burzee and retrieve for us a snape. Finally get us a shrubbery. A pretty one. Is this fair? No. But keep in mind I wouldn't do anything for Dorothy until she agreed to be my assassin."

The Princess hurried out of the grotto and headed out on her assignment .She was overjoyed when she saw Gimli. She tried to steal the lock of hair from him and was promptly met with the business end of Gimli's ax.

"See," smirked Miracle Max. " This is the other reason I invited Oz."
 
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The ambiguity of death in roleplays meant that the stupid thirteen-year-old was alive again in the next post. But at least she had learned a lesson, and she rode away on her patient horse without bothering the other characters anymore.
 
She actually learned trhee lessons:

1: be nice and polite to others.
2: The Wizard of OZ will give you impossible tasks to try and fulfill.
3: and most important do not, ever, and I mean ever, try to steal the lock of hair of Galadriel from Gimli.
 
Suddenly, Superman realized why he was in such a doubting mood. It was because of negative energy hitting him from a nearby cinema which was playing the new Lone Ranger movie. This movie depicted the so-called Lone Ranger bumbling around uselessly, not knowing his colon from a hole in the ground, until the last ten minutes of the movie. Such a forced and artificially-contrived helplessness on the part of a hero who was supposed to be capable of DOING something, was generating a confidence-dampening field almost as potent as Kryptonite.

Superman called for some help from Green Lantern -- the PRE-REVISIONIST Green Lantern. Once they had destroyed every copy of the disgusting NON-Lone-Ranger movie, Superman felt super again.
 
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