Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Superman actually have help from THREE pre-revisionist Green Lanterns. Hal Jordan the Silver Age lantern who was an air force pilot, John Stewart an African-American marine-turned construction worker, and Kyle Rayner-an aspiring cartoonist who could draw a better Lone Ranger story with both arms tied behind his back in his sleep with a slurpy straw.
 
And suddenly, the REAL Lone Ranger and Tonto showed up, arrested Armie Hammer, Johnny Depp, and everyone else who worked on the Lone Ranger movies. Afterward, a slightly depressed Lone Ranger spent some time talking to Superman who, unlike the Lone Ranger, had actually had a really good remake this year.
 
Doc Brown and Marty McFly suddenly pulled up in the DeLorean, clad in Western garb and said ,"Lone Ranger. You've got to come back with us. We are going to try and prevent the new Lone Ranger movie from being made."
 
Sven-El said:
Doc Brown and Marty McFly suddenly pulled up in the DeLorean, clad in Western garb and said ,"Lone Ranger. You've got to come back with us. We are going to try and prevent the new Lone Ranger movie from being made."
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"YEEHAW!" The Lone Ranger shouted for joy and dove into the back seat of the DeLorean. The car then took off and flew back in time once it hit 88 miles per hour.
 
The Cisco Kid and Pancho decided that when Lone Ranger got back, they would talk with him about the possibility of forming a League of Extraordinary Cowboy-Type Heroes (cowgirls also allowed).
 
The _original_ Cisco Kid, from a story titled "The Caballero's Way," was _not_ Hispanic, and he _was_ a villain. When he showed up and tried to take over the new organization, the _good_ Cisco Kid shot him down.
 
Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, and their horses Trigger and Champion were part of this group. Just as Roy was about to begin his speech on taking back the western genre for the side of good, his friend Smiley Burnette came through pedaling his wagon full of Dixie Brand musical instruments while singing a song about said instruments.
 
Not wanting to feel left out of the fun of forming teams, Godzilla, Mecha-Godzilla, Mothera, King Kong, Godzilla from the 1998 film, T-Rex from Jurassic Park, the monster from Cloverfield and the monsters seen in Pacific Rim all formed a team. However Dr. Phil soon took over and turned it into a support group for the monsters.
 
Just in case those monsters might cause trouble, the cowboy heroes met secretly with some of the scientists from Japanese monster movies. The scientists issued magic six-guns to the cowboys; at need, these guns would cause the gunslingers to GROW TO MONSTER SIZE and have the power to fight the monsters on equal terms.
 
The cowboys also recruited "space cowboy" types, Han Solo, Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers, and James T. Kirk. As it was required for each cowboy to have a sidekick, Han brought Chewie, Malcolm brought Jayne Cobb ( who in turn brought his really big gun Vera), and Kirk brought Spock. Woody from Toy Story brought Buzz Lightyear who was having a blast talking with other space heroes.


Duck Dodgers ( Daffy Duck) and Eager Young Space Cadet ( Porky Pig) also tried to join the team.
 
Duck Dodgers eventually won his slot by proving his ability to withstand explosions, and his regenerative capabilities upon being disintegrated by Marvin the Martian the very skills they would need if the monsters went rouge.
 
Some teenagers (NOT self-appointed princesses this time) showed up and asked if the various heroes were filming a sequel to "Pacific Rim." Space Ghost told them, "No, we haven't even seen the first Pacific Rim film yet."
 
Some of the older heroes were delighted to hear that there was a dedication to Ray Harryhausen (Jason and the Argonauts and the original Clash of the Titans) and Ishiro Honda ( Godzilla).
 
Buzz Lightyear's three sidekicks from the animated series in which he starred also came along, followed by John Carter and Tars Tarkas.
Since all the heroes from classic westerns as well as science fiction gathered in one place, this made the Evil Emperor Zurg decide to announce to all the villains from the Buzz Lightyear of Star Command series, Star Wars, Star Trek, and the Thern and Zodangan warriors from John Carter; "All these heroes from across the television and film universe have gathered, yet we still stand galaxies apart! Are we going to let the heroes win the prize for biggest gathering of the year? I think not! Let us all gather on MY planet (PLANET Z!!!)!! And CURSE YOU, BUZZ LIGHT- Come on, say it with me!" -Now in unison, the villains all cried, "CURSE YOU, BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!"
Because the villains were all of the classic entitlement mindset, they all decided it wasn't fair unless they got to curse their arch enemies as well. So after the first cursing, there was a garbled mess of curses on Buzz Lightyear, John Carter, Captain Kirk, Luke Skywalker, Obiwan Kenobi, and Han Solo.
 
Sensing trouble in the air, additional heroes began converging on the combined astronaut-cowboy group. Among these were some literary characters who, while on the side of decency, were not primarily famed for combat abilities -- such as numerous likeable characters from novels by Jane Austen and Lev (NOT "Leo") Tolstoy.

In order that the willingness to help of these non-"super" characters would count for something, the Jon Pertwee Doctor Who invented a Goodness Laser, which would receive niceness-energy from characters like Count Bezukhov ("War and Peace"), then transform it into phaser-like beams which would harm ONLY evildoers, not harming anyone good even if hitting them head-on.

Pertwee-Doctor explained: "If evildoers come scouting, we can pretend to be trying out this weapon on 'prisoners' -- actually some of our own friends. When the evil spies see that my beam DOESN'T hurt our friends, they'll think we've made no progress in arming ourselves. Which will set them up for a surprise."
 
All the heroes clapped their hands for The Doctor (Pertwee)
Just in time for the announcement came Fred Randall from Disney's comedy "Rocket Man", and the Henry Cavill Superman from "The Man of Steel" movie. After the clapping stopped, Fred Randall said to Superman, "You are so lucky. All the girls like you because you're buff and handsome, but I got stuck being the awkward funny guy who just happens to be good with computers!"
Superman replied, "To be honest, some times I wish I was like you, actually. I work hard to portray a strong moral character, but the women in the theatre won't look past my appearance! My only consolation is that a few visionary young men and church leaders happened to recognize my spiritual aspirations."
 
"I hear you, Supe," said Real Lone Ranger. "The one putative hero-quality they allowed my miserable new clone to have was good looks -- as if that mattered, when he had no brains!"
 
Wolverine nodded and said, "I know what ya' mean .Most people just see me as an angry feral animal. But really because I was essentially abuse, tortured and forced to do awful things by my superiors I'm more like a rescue dog. With some time, patience and tender loving care, I've actually become an invaluable team member."
 
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