Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

And the talent of the Spice Girls.

Meanwhile Bella Swan's father had noticed what a good job Martha Kent was doing at reforming the celebrity obsessed teenagers. Since no teen girl is obsessed with Bella's father he was able to slip by their watch. He figured he would seek out parenting advice from Martha and Jonathan Kent, seeing as they helped raise their son to being World's Greatest Superhero.

'Well, for starters," said Martha. "Be supportive, encouraging, nurturing, but at the same time, firm."

"Also be attentive to your child, "said Jonathan. "For example,wasn't your daughter squished to death by the Goblin King from the Hobbit just after having married Gollum and trying to steal the One Ring like 40 pages ago."

"Please, "said Mr. Swann. "This is a Roll Playing Game. The Rules of life and Death are more tenuous then they are in comic books . It's just a matter of time before some one has her come back form the dead just to make her fall in love with some other monster and get crushed by a tractor or something."
 
It just so happened, Bella Swan HAD come back from the dead all over again, and was attempting to propose to the kraken from "Pirates of the Caribbean". Elizabeth Swan noticed this, and started a fight with Bella because she didn't like the idea of a Twilight character sharing her last name.
 
" I love you, Kraken. You are my heart, my soul, my everything. Every moment I spend with you is fleeting, because it's a moment, being chased by another moment, devoured by another moment," said Bella ."Please, love me back."


"One shot is all I need, Will," said Elizabeth to Will Turner.

"I think I can help you there."

At this point Will transformed into Legolas Notched up two arrows in his bow and got ready to take aim.

As the Kraken died of a cerebral hemorrhage at the insipid drivel Bella was spouting the love struck bimbo turned her attentions and affections to Godzilla. Before Elizabeth and Legolas could fire so much as an arrow, Bella's father came up and said ," Bella, enough of this. Go to your room young lady."
 
"That's what MY father is supposed to say to ME!" exclaimed Madonna. Succeeding in gaining the attention of a few fangirl types, Madonna revealed to them that she had once been invited to join the Spice Girls, but had backed out when she heard that they wanted to call her Old Spice.
 
Pete Best, the original Drummer for the Beatles, played a rim shot.

Bella stomped her foot and pouted, " No daddy, I refuse to go to my room. You can't make me do what I don't want. I love Kraken, and Godzilla and all the other scary monsters. They are my soul mates."
 
Before it could air, The Hulk pounded Dr. Phil into the ground, and then joined Godzilla, King Kong and Queen Kong in smashing Vegas. However, they did take a break to catch the Blue Man Group.
 
Piers Morgan of CNN went to report on the actions of the monsters in Las Vegas, but his attention also was drawn to the Blue Man Group show. It finally penetrated Mr. Morgan's thick skull that the Blue Men, while NOT speaking, conveyed more truth and wisdom than he ever did when he WAS speaking.
 
Realizing the popularity of The Blue Man Group, Hulk and Godzilla teamed up with Frankenstein's Monster, the Jolly Green Giant, The Grinch, and the entire Green Lantern Corps to form their own cover band called "Green Man Group." Because what is Vegas without a few cover bands trying to cash in on the popularity of another act?
 
The Green Man Group was such a hit that they were invited to perform at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City, an invitation that they happily accepted.
 
The little girl from "Miracle on 34th Street" was a ninety-year-old woman by now. Seeing the Green Group -- and being assured that the Grinch was not in charge -- she exclaimed, "This is even cooler than Santa Claus!"

A dozen zombies, who had strayed away from the main action a few pages back, tried to attack the parade spectators, but Underdog destroyed them.
 
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The heroes won the war against the zombies and vampires a few pages back, so Superman made a short appearance at the parade by flying over the floats. The news guy watching the parade exclaimed, "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SUPER-PERSON!" Everyone stared blankly at the man, who replied, "What? I'm just being politically correct."
 
Spock pointed out to the bystander," Then with that logic shouldn't you call his cousin Superperson as well? Calling him Superman, when he is in fact a man, helps differentiate from any other, as you call them superpersons." Then he gave the bystander a Vulcan neck pinch to shut them up before they could argue further.
 
Kosh from "Babylon Five" remarked to Spock, "Don't be too hard on them. They've been taught for a long time to use confused and unspecific language. You should have heard the meaningless way *I* was required to talk on my show!"
 
"Thankfully on my show we reached a point where we didn't have such meaningless talk, though some one did decided to rewrite our opening "Space the Final Frontier" speech to make it more PC, and in the process ruined the original cadence," said Spock.


Meanwhile Yoda and Kermit the Frog joined the Green Man group, introducing a hot new act to the show. While Yoda lifted the entire troop with The Force(TM), the Green Lantern corps formed a human pyramid, Godzilla road a unicycle,The Jolly green giant juggled frozen vegetables, The Grinch contorted his body, and the Hulk and Frankenstein's monster sang "Puttin' on the Ritz" accompanied by Kermit on the Banjo.
 
Miss Piggy appeared and, as usual, tried to dominate everything. But when she found that her yelling karate chops couldn't EVEN affect the Grinch, she sat down and started crying.
 
Kermit the frog showed up and placed his hand on Piggy's shoulder while saying, "There there, Piggy, everything's going to be o-"
"Don't you touch me!" Miss Piggy whirled around and punched Kermit, knocking him out.
 
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