Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

"And I thought Anger management issues, Anakin Skywalker had," remarked Yoda.

"Yeesh, "said Kermit. "You have no idea."
 
In a sudden renewal of her petty temper tantrum, Miss Piggy tried again to attack Master Yoda. He simply levitated her fifty feet into the air, informing her that let her down he would, if to behave herself she agreed.
 
Kermit pointed out that Yoda should get said statement in writing, signed, dated and notarized as then it would be an official contract and if there was anything Piggy could agree to it was the terms of a contract.
 
Miss Piggy at last capitulated and signed the contract.


Meanwhile, a handful of zombies who had escaped from their latest defeat tried to open a human-flesh restaurant. They knew that health officials would quickly show up to shut it down; but they counted on CHANGING those officials INTO zombies, thus infiltrating local government with the undead.
 
Not that anyone noticed the differences Though some analysts pointed out that the Zombie elected officials were more lively then the living ones. In order to stall them, Robin: The Boy Wonder came up with a quick solution. Using YouTube he sent each zombie an e-mail containing a continuous loop of the song Thriller. Unknown to many, Zombies can't help but dance the Thriller when they hear the song. It is the only sure fire way to slow them down.
 
With the Zombies thus distracted, Ents from Middle-Earth stepped into the gap, forming what they called The Tree Party. Treebeard became the Mayor of the affected city, while Quickbeam became Chief of Police.
 
Indeed, by the time their first meeting was adjourned, they found that they were now in the 23rd century, being visited by a young James Tiberius Kirk shortly before he would enter Starfleet Academy.
 
The meetings took so long that it made C-Span even more boring then it was before. However it did lead to some pretty funny YouTube videos were posters would speed up the dialogue so they sounded like chipmunks or sync it up with a dubstep beat.
 
Because James Kirk was not yet at the time in his life when he would learn how to travel through time, it was left to Doctor Who -- the very FIRST Doctor Who, back when HE was young -- to transport the Ents back to the 21st century. There, the Ents had to avoid encountering their own selves who were holding their long meeting, but this was not difficult. So they spread out through the city, destroying the Zombies who were still dancing to "Thriller."
 
Some neo-hippies from Oregon collected the zombie bodies and fed them into a huge grinder, while singing "The Circle Of Life." Then they used the tons of zombie-burger as fertilizer on their organic farm.
 
Unfortunately when their cows ate the crass they became Zombie cows. This also led on the safe side to the FDA banning the sale of Tillamook cheese and any other cow based products from Oregon from being sold until the Zombie cow crisis was solved.
 
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. loaded a hundred zombie bullfighters onto their giant hovercraft, and brought them to Oregon to deal with the zombie cows.
 
The victory was marred only by Ferdinand suffering a horn-graze from one of the zombie cows. But then Chuck Norris showed up, and used a special martial technique with his beard, which destroyed the zombie viruses before they could transform Ferdinand.

The zombie bullfighters were so appreciative of Ferdinand's help that they pledged to go back to Spain and persuade living bullfighters to stop killing bulls.
 
There were still some survivors of the zombie cows, so five minotaurs formed a team called T.A.U.R.U.S. ( they weren't sure what it stood for .They just thought it sounded cool) to battle the remnant of zombie cows. Their leader was the original Minotaur from the labyrinth of King Minos.
 
Last edited:
One of the subordinate Minotaurs happened to have big educational ambitions. He made some remark about writing his T-H-E-S-I-S; but the leading Minotaur thought he was mentioning T-H-E-S-E-U-S, and panicked.
 
Upon hearing the word T H E S E U S, Footylumpkins the Weasel thought they were talking about Dr. Seus and said he that he always suspected that green eggs and ham was zombie food.
 
Bludina the Bludthirsty wicked witch of the Wild West wept wistfully while wiping whimpering wolf wyverns and whispering wickedly.
 
Back
Top