Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Meanwhile, one of the Minotaurs, named Jeff, decided to leave the zombie cow killing to pursue his dream...playing polka music at Oktoberfest.

Donning a pair of lederhosen, he picked up an accordion, and left the zombie cow killing profession.
 
Jeff's accordion playing attracted attention from an unexpected quarter. John Cougar Mellencamp, one of the very few pop singers in recent times to include accordions in his recordings, came to the Oktoberfest to listen to the Minotaur.
 
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Jeff had actually assembled an entire polka group that included a Sasquatch on clarinet, a yeti on trumpet, a centaur on Tuba, a faun on guitar, an elf on zither and a dwarf on drums. All wearing lederhosen, which was kind of comical.

There performance was so amazing, that John Couger Mellencamp recommended them to his agent who immediately began representing them.
 
Jeff was more then fine with the leprechaun joining. A mermaid also joined their group on vocals.

They released their number one hit single "The We Exist Polka" the following month.
 
Meanwhile, ALL the other characters on "Big Bang Theory" got sick and tired of Sheldon. Since the alternate reality of text-based roleplaying was highly flexible, they went ahead and killed Sheldon on this thread. They knew he would be alive again on the program, so they couldn't be prosecuted for killing him, but it still was fun to kill him.
 
It is after all why Bella Swan keeps coming back. And in fact not only was she back, she now had a crush on every single member of the "Mythical Creature Polka band" Except the mermaid. Bella has some standards.

She had taken to stalking them and sending them muffin baskets which Jeff could not eat as he has a gluten intolerance.
 
Unexpectedly, Bella suddenly decided that she liked neither the guy who bit the heads off rats and sparkled, nor the flea-bitten guy who turned into animal every month and couldn't put on a shirt. Instead,she proposed to Jeff the Minotaur.
 
Jeff pointed out, "We barely know each other. Isn't this kind of rushing things? How about this we go on a date on the 32nd of October and spend some time together first?"
 
Jeff pointed out, "We barely know each other. Isn't this kind of rushing things? How about this we go on a date on the 32nd of October and spend some time together first?"


While Bella was trying to figure out if a 32nd of October came in leap year, the stars used up all their hydrogen, the universe collapsed..... and God started the universe all over again.
 
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And the Earth was without form and void, and darkness covered the surface of the deep. It was now time to begin Earth 2.0
 
Because of the space-time continuum alterations, somehow Ian Malcolm managed to show up at the dawn of time and said, "You can't tell Eve not to listen to the snake because of chaos theory! -Wait, if she doesn't listen to the snake, that might prevent chaos from happening at all... Ok, carry on! You're God, I'm just a mathematician." He later met up with Dr. Alan Grant. Dr. Grant, mystified as he watched a tyrannosaurus rex peacefully devouring cantaloupe in the Garden of Eden, said "it's... it's a dinosaur! A friendly one!"
Malcolm thought this the perfect time to revise his famous movie quote. "God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man, man creates dinosaurs. Man destroys earth. God recreates earth, God creates dinosaurs all over again!"
 
Also reappearing outside of his normal time was Sheldon from "Big Bang Theory." When he saw evidence of God's presence, he dropped his jaw and mumbled, "Hey, maybe my church-going parents AREN'T so stupid!"
 
Much of what was in Earth 1.0 was also present, However, absent from Earth 2.0 was anything to do with vampires .They ran this by Brahm Stroker, who upon seeing what his literary creation descended into, was completely cool with it. He decided he would spend eternity writing books about happy fluffy bunnies.

Green Man Group and The Mythical Creature Polka band were all hired to perform the big gala for Earth 2.0
 
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Taking the place of the Serpent, Andrew Adamson proposed to make a Biblical movie in which the Lord Jesus would appear as a juvenile, sulky, peevish, quarrelsome, insecure, vain man, who couldn't find his nose with both hands unless his brilliant infallible ten-year-old sister showed him how to do it. "It'll be so much more spiritual that way!" Adamson bubbled with enthusisam.
 
Seeing this CS Lewis turned to Tolkien, "Why, oh, why did I ever create Susan or Lucy Pevensie? I wrote myself into a corner with that whole 2 sons of Adam, 2 daughters of Eve thing"

"I know the feeling," said Tolkien. " I made the same mistake with the Witch King. I feel the world of literature may have been better served had Galadriel, Arwen and Eowyn not been part of Middle-Earth."
 
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Lewis and Tolkien were not the only ones expressing regret. Jane Austen suddenly regretted how independent and strong willed her females were as did Louisa May Alcott and Charlotte Bronte.
 
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