Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Smeardyakov the evil purple duck was sunning himself on the beach at the same Caribbean Island where Captain Obvious worked as a tourist guide. Smerdyakov wanted get a shade of purple darker because he was tired of people confusing him with his good twin, Dimitry.

Captain Obvious saw Smerdyakov and immediately confused him with Dimitry, his old friend. He walked up to the purple duck and said in his London accent: "Dimitry, old lad! How's it going? Never thought I'll see you around this part of the world, friend!" For answer, Smerdyakov kicked him on the left shin.

"Oi! What was that for?" Said Captain Obvious as he held his left shin and took little jumps on his right foot. Smerdyakov kicked him a second time, on the right shin. The Captain now began taking turns holding a shin while jumping on his other foot, cause both shins hurt like the blazes.

"Have you gone bonkers, duckie, old lad?" Said the Captain, still alternating jumps on either foot while holding the other.

When the silly tourists saw this, they thought Captain Obvious was teaching them some sort of native dance and they all began to imitate him singing: "LA CUCARACHA, LA CUCARACHA..."
 
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Someone who spoke Spanish translated the refrain. When people on the beach realized WHAT the cockroach in the song was said to be lacking, they immediately began arguing about whether it had legitimate medical applications.
 
"What kind of Captain Obvious arrre you?" Said Smerdyakov in his Russian accent. "It is clear that I am not Dimitree. My name does not start with a D. You cannot see this?"

Boy, did Captain Obvious looked stupid or what?
 
Meanwhile, the thirteen-year-old girl on the lonely quest which was really about nothing but her own narcissism stopped in sudden thought. She suddenly realized she wasn't sure what the WORD "narcissism" actually meant.
 
When the girl found out that the legendary Greek thought himself to be the coolest, she screamed, "No, I'm the coolest!" and tried to throw him in the water. Unfortunately for her, the real-world averages of upper-body strength turned out to be applicable in this post, and he threw her in the water. Then he stole her horse and rode away on a lonely quest.
 
TSI stares at her computer screen.

She blinks.

Her mouth is dry. Her stomach is behaving less than favorably and she is cold.

She types this from a secluded corner in the library, and her keystrokes sound like thunderclaps.

She has just slept through her ten o'clock class and most of her lunch period. She had plucked a volume of Napoleon's writings off the shelf behind her and used it as a pillow.

Now she is cold and stiff, but she is mostly glad she slept through lunch because that means she doesn't have to spend the money. She might require caffeine though.

Now she is typing this and looking over the desk she's at the top shelf behind it. Jewish history.

She vaguely wonders if, should she want to read about the Holocaust, she should select a book from the German section (directly in front of her) or the Jewish section (the next row over.)

This does not prove to be that interesting of a thought, so she concludes this post, connects to a school computer to print out her homework for her next class, which, luckily, she did this morning.
 
Sushi bombs the bunny and then writes an opera about its death. (Boy, I seem to be making him out to be a psychopath...not good....)
 
And the psychopath society (which was renamed fluffy pink bunnies to avoid suspicion) send Sushi a letter in an attempt to recruit the purple kiwi who was sitting next to a dead banana in Connecticut.

Naturally, Sushi replies by writing an opera.

And galaxy 389324 blows up.

It's all your fault, Glen!
 
Captain Obvious finished his shift and went back to his cabana, still nursing his shins which felt they were going to break in two any minute now. As he walked back, he was completely bummed because he had been unable to tell the difference between Smerdyakov and Dimitry. He wondered if now he would to change his name to something like Coronel Confuzzle.

As he reached his cabana, he promptly threw himself on his bed and began to reminiscing about happier days when he had to chase bad guys and gals, and fight some really crazy villains like that cheese-stealing femme fatale Cheezerella DeVil.
 
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Since the contaiment field prevented the "Everyone died" from being true in other people's posts, Chezerella was able to proceed with her plan to peek in on Captain Obvious and see if he had any cheese. (If not, she had in mind to visit Wallace and Gromit next.)
 
Captain Obvious was really annoyed that no one told him that everyone had died. "How am I supposed to conduct those tours in an efficient manner," he pouted, "if everyone here at this company treats me like the proverbial mushroom?"

And he made up his mind that as soon as he woke up, he will put a formal complain to his boss and advise him, in no uncertain terms, that he will quit next time everyone dies and no one has the decency to inform him.
 
A big green dragon was sitting by the lake scratching nonsensicle writings in the sand along with fragments of "How do I Love Thee" he'd heard. He was in love, and always had a habbit of writing "romantic" literal nonsense whenever he was feeling these emotions. He began spitting smoke rings in the shape of hearts in the air. A little bird flew through one of these smoke rings and gagged, then shook his wing/fist at the dragon as he flew by.
 
The Vogons from "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" sent a spaceship to investigate the dragon. Since bad poetry was a staple of the Vogon culture, they thought the dragon might be one of their guys who had put on extra weight.
 
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