Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

So when they came back, Legolas and Gimli gave them Bella Swann's phone number so they could harass her. However since she was so stupid and so in need of attention she actually appreciated them calling her. She signed up for credit cards, mortgage loans, reverse mortgages, cable TV, news papers, a fruit of the month club and every item they offered her.
 
Meanwhile in the SS Derelict, the officer in charge of Random Stuff, Footylumpkins the Weasel, created pandemonium by bringing in a 3-ring circus to entertain the crew during their long voyage. When someone pointed out the difficulties in supplying an entire circus troupe which included wild animals, scary clowns, the bearded lady and many other silly acts, Footylumpkins said that they could trade Circus performances for supplies whenever they landed on an inhabited planet.
 
They found themselves in the universe of the "Firefly" TV series, with a far larger number of planets than any star could really maintain in orbit around itself. Choosing one of the scruffier outlying worlds to land on, they met the obligatory Joss Whedon super-female, River Tam. River was eager to join the circus herself, but she wasn't sure how to use her super-powers to entertain people.
 
Meanwhile, in the waters of the arctic ocean, a school of tiny intelligent mutant fish hid and plotted world domination. Or at least, domination of the world's oceans. They were intelligent, but they couldn't breath air like people. So total world domination was out of the question.
 
Professor Charles Xavier sent the Sub-Mariner to offer the mutant fish a better way of life than world domination through learning to use their intelligence to help people instead of dominate the world's oceans.
 
Due to Xavier's visit, the fish were now divided among themselves. Half wanted to use their intelligence for good, while the other half were still bent on control of the worlds oceans.
And so, an epic battle began that would determine the fate of the world.
However, they did stop for a snack break when the afore mentioned octopus came along and offered them the seaweed.
 
The good fish, since they believed in politeness, tried to form an orderly serving line for the seaweed, while the bad fish just crowded right in, the strongest first, and began chowing down. As a result, the pesticides with which the G.M.O. seaweed was saturated made most of the bad fish sick before any of the good fish had taken a single bite.
 
Thus ending the impending doom of the worlds oceans. Its inhabitants could once more swim (or float, if you happened to be a boat) in peace.
The bad fish were all put in a fish hospital, where they eventually realized the error of their ways and were then rehabilitated into fish society.
 
Unbeknownst to the crew of the Derelict (but knownst to us, like they say) an alien cruiser was scanning Obvious' ship from a safe distance checking to see if Emmett the Cowboy was aboard with his guitar. The aliens still remembered how thousands of them died when their brains blew up as they listened to Emmett's rendition of his now famous ballad, I Need A Name For My Horse.
 
Emmett was not on board the spacecraft, because he was still in Middle-Earth, living out a story which was taking Copperfox an awfully long time to complete.
 
What the aliens didn't know is that Bat-Bat himself was watching them from several cloaked satellites he had installed in earth's orbit. He had already scanned their ship several times over for any sexy vampire-like alien they may be carrying on board.
 
There were in fact a few sexy vampires on board; but they had gotten tired of being sexy, and had asked the scientists on the ship to help them turn into nauseating zombies instead.
 
MEanwhile the producers of the reality show starring the villians relaized they had no more show...so they decided to launch a reality show starring Gimli from Lord of the Rings, Mr. Tumnus from Narnia, Chewbacca from Star Wars, Worf from Star Trek and Wolverine. In their first episode they faced a dreaded foe...the fact that their facial and body hair plugged up the shower drain and the plummer told them he'd get there between 10 and 4 the next day to fix it.
 
But the plumber had to postpone his visit, because it was taking longer than expected for him to do a similar job for the Addams Family, involving the hair of Cousin Itt.
 
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Copperfox said:
But the plumber had to postpone his visit, because it was taking longer than expected for him to to a similar job for the Addams Family, involving the hair of Cousin Itt.
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Things really got "hairy" when Wolverine's pal from The X-Men, Beast came by for a visit after completing a marathon.
 
The reason why Beast was free to go visiting old pals is because Captain Obvious declined his offer to come about the Derelict on the long (and taking longer) planned trip. When Footylumpkins the Weasel asked the Captain why he had refused such a powerful mutant who would obviously be of great help during the voyage, the Captain just said: "He sheds."
 
At the Addams Family's house, X-Man Beast told the unnamed plumber, "I'm a genius besides being strong and athletic. If I might borrow some kitchen utensils, I could build a Hair-Extraction Ray which would levitate all of Itt's hair out of that sink drain."
 
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