(Why thank you! Yours was funny too!)
Granted. The reason your nose is red, of course, is because it bled for about 3 hours (roughly speaking) while you were asleep. This got blood all over your bed sheets, so much blood, in fact, that you can't wash them yourself and must take them to a service laundry. Unfortunately, the laundry is run by an old woman who, when she sees the sheets, assumes that somebody must have been murdered, and she calls the police. A few minutes later, a whole troop of them comes careening around the corner in squad cars, yelling about murderers, and you dodge behind a tree (the drivers are too busy looking for murderers to bother about where they're driving). They seem to be a little jumpy; when you pop out from behind your tree and finish dodging the bullets they decide that you must be the murderer because you have the victim's blood all over your nose. You decide to explain the situation to them, so you say, "Well, officers, it all began last night when I was going on this online forum called the Dancing Lawn - It's a really fun forum - you know it has over 8,000 members? But only 4,000 of them are active - active means they post often enough - do you know there's one member with over 30 posts a day? And she's only been a member since last year. Anyway... what were we talking about?" When the police hear this, they decide that you MUST be the murderer (since you wouldn't tell them the reason for the blood on your nose) and they begin prodding you uncomfortable hard with their guns. Unfortunately, one of them prods a little to hard, and you go skittering across the street, bounce down the block, slide across a pier and fall into the ocean. You're a good swimmer, however, and you try to strike out for land - but your feet won't work. You look back at them and discover that the reason is because the Great Shark, pesky thing, has just eaten them and is looking hungrily at the rest of you...
I wish that the Great Shark would go somewhere other than my posts!
