Debate on the Healthiness of Fangirlism

[The Half-Blood Prince]

Hey, its summer for me, and this is a time to relax. I've made TONS of friends on here and I get on almost daily to chat with the people I've 'met'. Being a fangirl may consume up time, but its not like we're letting it interfere with our lives. I, personally, would rather spend my time hanging out at my grandfather's pool with friends and family or doing stuff with actual people that I know. But when theres nothing else to do, and I'm bored of reading Harry Potter for the umpteenth time (yet I'm still going through the series again right now, lol) I get on this forum, and I check with the Willianites to see whats happening with the regular people I talk to!
I don't think anyone on this site is so obsessive that they would actually go and stalk people or just sit in a room all day imagining they're getting married to some dude they will never meet. But in a broader sense, people who do do that are pretty unhealthy.

Basically what I'm trying to say is most people (girls, in particular) do not let their love of an actor get in the way with their lives. It is simply a hobby of sorts that takes up some extra time they may have on their hands.

No, I understand that, but when you come to a forum and meet people, do you think it's more of a smart thing to discuss your interests and daily ramblings on the side or in a Narnia forum? Just because you've met other people who share your obsessions, interests, etcetera, doesn't necessarily mean you should post such random discussions--then what's the point of the willianite or skandarnite or whatever nite thread? You become friends with each other under the sole idea that you like a celebrity?

 

[Aitoren]

Perhaps, but doesn't something seem a bit... I'm not sure, unhealthy, or, I can't think of the right word, for a girl to OBSESS over somebody way 'out of her league' for lack of a better term? I know girls just tend to talk about guys all the time, at least some of them. And it's alright, I suppose, as long as they keep it under control. But, talking so much, being in fanclubs, passing photos of just random hot actors, seems a bit more detached and... lustful (again, I just don't have a better word) They don't typically do it because they know him and appreciate his personality, for instance, but rather because he's popular, is good looking, and has other fans. Feel free to disagree.

 

[Lucy_QueenofNarnia]

Perhaps, but doesn't something seem a bit... I'm not sure, unhealthy, or, I can't think of the right word, for a girl to OBSESS over somebody way 'out of her league' for lack of a better term? I know girls just tend to talk about guys all the time, at least some of them. And it's alright, I suppose, as long as they keep it under control. But, talking so much, being in fanclubs, passing photos of just random hot actors, seems a bit more detached and... lustful (again, I just don't have a better word) They don't typically do it because they know him and appreciate his personality, for instance, but rather because he's popular, is good looking, and has other fans. Feel free to disagree.

Most of the people who have posted on here have disagreed, saying that its quite normal and healthy for girls to think actors that are way 'out of their league' good-looking. The diagnosis you call fangirlism is a stage that girls go through where basically we just really like actors--actually, its not even really a stage, I take that back, because you'd be hard put to find any woman on the earth who doesn't have a favorite actor who she thinks is good-looking. I guess what we need here is a more clear definition of what you say "obsessed" really is. Because if you mean in a way that girls just live and breathe and think that actor, I completely agree with you. But girls who think he's good-looking and are fans of his acting abilities and come on here in their free time and put pictures of them in their sigs, that is not what I'd call overly-obsessive- thats what I call normal.

 

[onlymystory]

yeah, there's nothing wrong with girls having a thing for celebrities. and as far as the friend thing, I'm not friends with all the Skandarnites. But when I first came on, I talked to some of them and as we talk about Skandar and then go ridiculously off topic we start to get to know people and realize who we get along with better. And while we all still have a connection you keep up with others more. besides, whether in real life or illusion land, girls and guys first obsess over looks on people than personality. I don't know too many people who's first crush develops because of personality and doesn't start with a he's cute/she's cute look. (well, I'm being a little hypocritical right now but most of my crushes developed from looks first).

I actually have a question for you guys who are bringing this up? Are you more concerned because you really think its unhealthy or is it something else? I don't talk about guys I think are cute with the guys i know because it makes them uncomfortable. If I go on about Brad Pitt, it makes my guy friends feel like they don't have a chance with regular girls because we want all guys to be like Brad Pitt. he may be easy on the eyes but I want a guy who loves me, not who just looks good. So is there a little of this concern because its hard to imagine a girl falling for you if all girls are obsessing over celebrities? (cuz we girls freak out over that stuff all the time. )

 

[The Half-Blood Prince]

All right, this topic has already been covered. I'll reinstate what the new one is:

Just because fangirls have met other people who share their obsessions, interests, etcetera, does it necessarily mean they should post such random discussions? And so, then what's the point of the willianite or skandarnite, etc. threads? They become friends with each other under the sole idea that they like a celebrity?

 

[Aitoren]

Personally, I don't really have a problem like that. I *know* none of them has a chance with them, so I feel like they have less a chance with guys, than I or someone else seeing a girl behave like that may have. (does that make sense, or did my wording suck?) But that's just me; I don't know how confident the other guys are. As for why we brought it up... I know I can't speak for all of us, but at least in my case it's just because it's almost a pet peeve. I see girls do that, and I can't stand it. It's like they're wasting their time on something useless, and making a big show of it. I know many of you won't like this, but to me it just seems immature, and so I dislike it because of that.

 

[The Half-Blood Prince]

yeah, there's nothing wrong with girls having a thing for celebrities. and as far as the friend thing, I'm not friends with all the Skandarnites. But when I first came on, I talked to some of them and as we talk about Skandar and then go ridiculously off topic we start to get to know people and realize who we get along with better. And while we all still have a connection you keep up with others more. besides, whether in real life or illusion land, girls and guys first obsess over looks on people than personality. I don't know too many people who's first crush develops because of personality and doesn't start with a he's cute/she's cute look. (well, I'm being a little hypocritical right now but most of my crushes developed from looks first).

I actually have a question for you guys who are bringing this up? Are you more concerned because you really think its unhealthy or is it something else? I don't talk about guys I think are cute with the guys i know because it makes them uncomfortable. If I go on about Brad Pitt, it makes my guy friends feel like they don't have a chance with regular girls because we want all guys to be like Brad Pitt. he may be easy on the eyes but I want a guy who loves me, not who just looks good. So is there a little of this concern because its hard to imagine a girl falling for you if all girls are obsessing over celebrities? (cuz we girls freak out over that stuff all the time. )

No, actually, OMS, the topic we are discussing simply annoys us and makes us question what girls are thinking when they place their lives around this stuff.

 

[onlymystory]

Well I think I covered the becoming friends over a celebrity thing.

1) The point of the nite threads have just as much point as TPBM or pirate threads.
2) If you don't talk about shared interests, then what do people talk about?
3) If its a pet peeve just ignore it. I stay away from the Tea With Mr. Tummus section because I seriously can't stand the whole idea of wasting space to introduce yourself. I could start a whole thread ranting and raving about that but I don't. I just don't go in that section so I don't have to get frustrated.
4) Outside of putting a picture in their sig and posting in the section, where's the problem? the girls talk about the celebrities in the thread not in every thread on the forum so I don't see the big deal.
5) People post the threads to talk about things. Besides, have you guys ever tried making it through a nite thread particularly a skandarnite thread? The day one of those things stays focused on Skandar for a full page is the day I fall over and die. Most of the thread is games and asking people about how their day has been. There's not nearly as much obsession as you might think.

oh sorry fawkes, missed your post. um, girls don't revolve their whole lives around celebrities. Not nearly as much as most guys revolve around sports. Again, I'm a bit of a hypocrite there (I've skipped class for England's world cup games) and don't get me started on college football because I'm a freak. but I'd argue that guys have worse obsessions than girls do. And much more public ones.

 

[Lucy_QueenofNarnia]

No, actually, OMS, the topic we are discussing simply annoys us and makes us question what girls are thinking when they place their lives around this stuff.

as to that, i have no clue what they are thinking

because as i have said above, i dont plan my life around my love for william moseley.

 

[The Half-Blood Prince]

Most of the people who have posted on here have disagreed, saying that its quite normal and healthy for girls to think actors that are way 'out of their league' good-looking. The diagnosis you call fangirlism is a stage that girls go through where basically we just really like actors--actually, its not even really a stage, I take that back, because you'd be hard put to find any woman on the earth who doesn't have a favorite actor who she thinks is good-looking. I guess what we need here is a more clear definition of what you say "obsessed" really is. Because if you mean in a way that girls just live and breathe and think that actor, I completely agree with you. But girls who think he's good-looking and are fans of his acting abilities and come on here in their free time and put pictures of them in their sigs, that is not what I'd call overly-obsessive- thats what I call normal.

That's because, if you haven't noticed, this thread is dangerously close to the fan club section, where tons of fangirls spend their time, so I don't think the disagreement issue demonstrates a strong point.

 

[always winter]

i'm just going to put my two cents in here and add this

i'll admit to be a bit of a fangirl, but i haven't lived my whole life like this. its just on occassion i like a movie and develop an obsession with the entire thing. the reason i believe i get like this sometimes is because its nice to have something out of reach. people always want what they can't get. at least from what i've seen growing up.

there's something simply tantalizing about someone "out of our league" because we don't have to fear rejection first of all. we going into the crush already knowing we have no chance so its all in good fun. i know i have this idea of the perfect guy all thought up in my head, but the problem is no one is perfect. of course im not going to find someone flawless, but these guys im constantly observing in my environment makes me sick.

i have some nice guy friends mind you, but a majority in my graduating class were pretty much pigs (sorry for a crude choice of word). most them have one track minds, perverted, idiotic, and made up of nothing but decaying morale.

the idea of crushing over someone you don't really know allows you to shape them into that perfect guy you're looking for. yea, that probably sounds sad, but whatever. i find it to be a nice break; a temporary escape to play with the ideas in my head and not get so hung up on everything bad around me.

and its not just guys who make me feel like this...sometimes i just want to find myself falling through a wardrobe as well to get the heck out of reality. and if you think thats unhealthy then fine. its not my fault i cant stand living in a teenage wasteland, my obsessions provide me an escape and it makes me happy. i'm not really camping out in a cardboard box outside his house nor am i going completely broke buying narnia merchandise. i'm still in touch with reality and i don't live on this forum, i probably wont be on much at all once im off to college, actually...

-meghan

 

[Aitoren]

Not nearly as much as most guys revolve around sports. I'd argue that guys have worse obsessions than girls do. And much more public ones.

Pink, fluffy images everywhere aren't as public (on lockers too, perhaps? and posters?) as the team you support? Well, true, guys go all out, I'll admit, but not all even like sports. I think most girls have at one point or another had some craze about a celebrity, but then again I'm a guy, so I might not be the best judge. However, isn't there a little difference with being fanatic about a guy, and supporting a team? In one, you're fanatic about a group of players, and a sport. To me, that sets it a bit apart from an individual craze over some guy that you're not really supporting, but more idolizing? Talking about similar interests with other girls is ok, I assume, but do you introduce yourself as, I dunno:
Hey, what's up girls! I'm Alex! And my interests are William and Daniel!

 

[Lucy_QueenofNarnia]

Talking about similar interests with other girls is ok, I assume, but do you introduce yourself as, I dunno:
Hey, what's up girls! I'm Alex! And my interests are William and Daniel!

AHAHAHAHAHA yea... ummmm no. we start talking, sometimes about the actor, and then it sorta goes off in a random direction-- we talk about normal stuff, and we dont count liking guys as interests.

 

[The Half-Blood Prince]

AHAHAHAHAHA yea... ummmm no. we start talking, sometimes about the actor, and then it sorta goes off in a random direction-- we talk about normal stuff, and we dont count liking guys as interests.

Then why is the name of your thread THE WILLIANITES??? You can't be telling me that's not an interest.

 

[onlymystory]

I just thought I'd tell Meghan (above) that college doesn't take you away from this site. It actually makes the obsession worse. Its the perfect break from homework. Believe me, I know.

 

[Aitoren]

Then why is the name of your thread THE WILLIANITES??? You can't be telling me that's not an interest.

That's a thought. Why don't you chat about other things in... the duffers... instead? Willianites just kind of sounds like you're only talking about him, or your group of william-lovers.

I just thought I'd tell Meghan (above) that college doesn't take you away from this site. It actually makes the obsession worse. Its the perfect break from homework. Believe me, I know.

That's not good. That's not good at all. I need to break the addiction fast then...

 

[Lucy_QueenofNarnia]

Then why is the name of your thread THE WILLIANITES??? You can't be telling me that's not an interest.

well I meant interest as in the way aitoren said it-- we do not go around saying "oh yea my interests are will and skandar"

i mean, of course we like to talk about them, but its not like normal interests (like...writing, or painting, or basketball) we're not THAT obsessed

i would consider myself more obsessed with the Harry Potter series than with William Moseley, but of course most people here wouldnt see that because the only thing they're worried about is how much we talk about actors.

 

[Protofan]

*cough* I think fangirls, are crazy, hormonal, geeks.

 

[always winter]

i would consider myself more obsessed with the Harry Potter series than with William Moseley, but of course most people here wouldnt see that because the only thing they're worried about is how much we talk about actors.

yea, if anyone thinks my obsession with william moseley is bad then my obsession with narnia is about 3 times worse i just can't help it...that narnia is so goodlooking

 

[NarniaNerd91]

That's a thought. Why don't you chat about other things in... the duffers... instead? Willianites just kind of sounds like you're only talking about him, or your group of william-lovers.

We are,see,we all have that common intrest.William Moseley.Yes we do have discussions concerning him,but we also have some conversations that do not.