Glorious Food II (Please Don't Delete)

[Gondor Knight of Narnia]

liked to salsa...but alas, his mangoness got him INTO salsa one day, and thusly the knight had to try it. After munching some mango salsa he decided to go bungee jumping with his friend, the paint ball-splattered Can...

 

[Lady of Lorien]

(clone #58, just to clarify things) who shattered at the bottom of the bungee jumping abyss...

 

[Gondor Knight of Narnia]

(clone #58, just to clarify things) who shattered at the bottom of the bungee jumping abyss...

So all the duffers cried...

 

[Dernhelm]

HAHAHAHAHA! because they knew it wasn't the real Can...

 

[Lady of Lorien]

who was safely hidden in a safe place...

 

[the Large Voice]

that only the chosen duffers could find with a map written in strange symbols...

 

[Lady of Lorien]

(symbols including a lot of C's, W's, and asterisks... )

 

[the Large Voice]

The chosen duffers (whoever they may be) huddled together in a tight group, poring over the strange map composed primarly of lines, squiggles, C's, W's, and asterisks, but couldn't make heads OR tails of it. That's when Lady of Lorien opened her trusty "C, W and Asterisk" decoder book -

 

[Tarkheena_Finduilas22]

She told everyone how to find it so they didn't have to use the map composed primarily of "c's" "w's" and asteriks but unfortunately the spitters overheard and ran to be the first...

 

[Lady of Lorien]

checkpoint in a nearby nascar race, where they were promptly mowed down by a mutant racecar. Meanwhile, LoL went back to deciphering...

 

[Olórin the Wise]

Her cookbook, for she was preparing a great feast to celebrate the foiling of the knight.

 

[SK999111]

But, overcome by a sudden fear of jellybeans, she leapt up onto a mobile phone and screeched out "......

 

[Lady of Lorien]

"the jellybeans have all turned into tennis shoes! Now they won't work in my recipe!" and she went in search of...

 

[Olórin the Wise]

shoe-polishing fluid to polish the jellybeans, for she had decided that they would be her Masters.

 

[Lady of Lorien]

Then she realized that this was a contradiction to her Canly allegiance, and so turned away from the idea immediately. Finally, after...

 

[Dernhelm]

many days and purple hippopotami had passed by, she...

 

[SK999111]

Decided she would worship the mighty jellybean after all. But the recipe book forbade her from doing this as...

 

[Olórin the Wise]

It, too, was in secret a follower of the great and mighty Can. Then the Can himself appeared to her in a daydream and said, "...

 

[Dernhelm]

"Turn thou not unto the Jelly Bean; for all those who turn from me shall have their Cook Books taken beyond the great blue Moon Mountains, and far away...." And LoL woke suddenly from her daydream with the terrifing image of her cookbook glideing over the Moon mountains and into the black hole at the center of the galaxy running through her mind.

 

[Olórin the Wise]

She therefore ran towards the dwelling place of the Can, but...