How To Kill Fred the Box 2,892 times

475. send him off to find his mum, whom, he calls mummy, and ends up to find an actual mummy, baffled with confusion, only to send Fred to Egypt to get the mummy's mum's ashes to Paris, where he'll get used as a soap box for the rest of his life, which wouldn't be long, since Fred isn't strong enough to hold up a 5 year old, let alone an actual grown up.....so therefore, he gets squashed to death in a very round-a-bout way. .....yep....
 
481. Tell a bunch of sixth-graders that their science project consists of seeing what happens to rotten eggs when left to lie for a period of time. The rotten eggs are to be kept in Fred the Box. Several weeks into the project, the egg smell will become so bad that Fred will commit suicide.
 
483. put him between in the path of a bunch of purple elephants.

484. Paint him the color of cheese and leave him beneath a cliff.

485. Trick him into asking a whale-question.
 
485. Turn him over to Mozart's kittens, telling the kittens that Fred planned to cage them.
 
No, I maintain that 13 slices would be more effective. And it would be even better if you used a pin-striped stainless-steel handle-less fish knife.
 
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