How To Kill Fred the Box 2,892 times

532. Make him deal with the mean freshman that rides my bus.
533. Have him talk with me on the phone, that can bore anyone to death.
 
539. Call him a weapon of mass destruction--the Marines will be there in five minutes to dismantle him.
 
544. By double-posting to show your desire for him to continue being killed. He will die of depression from knowing people are so determined to make him pay for his evil deeds.
 
546. Put Fred in a junior high boy's school locker. Once Fred has had dirty socks, leftover banana peels, empty milk cartons, worn comic books, and math texts dumped on his head, he will perish of asphyxiation.
 
548. Make him watch the full 2 hours of the MTV Movie Awards. (THE HORROR!!!!! :eek: I believe I have lost some of my IQ after watching that.)
 
550. Hire him as a babysitter, and make him enforce the "no cookies until you've finished your vegetables" rule.
 
553. Let my little brother play with him.

554. Disguise him as Justin Bieber, and send him out into the streets. Without a doubt, mobbing fangirls will murder him.

555. Force him to eat the ball of quinoa I drizzled in syrup once. :eek: (Quinoa is a healthy grain that taste really nasty when you cook it too long, mash it into a ball, and then put syrup all over it to 'improve' it's taste.)

556. Flush him down the toilet.

557. Throw him into a pond. The ducks will mistake him for a piece of bread.
 
You drizzled quinoa in syrup? Gross. The syrup, not the quinoa.

558. Put him in the recycling bin.
559. Make him count to 2,892.
600. Force-feed him Brussels sprouts.
601. Or hummus.
602. Or eggplant.
603. Or squash.
604. Or jalapenos.
605. Or lima beans.
606. Pretend that he is your camel and ride him.
607. Send him to the dentist.
608. Use him as a footstool.
609. Make him look like a package bomb and send him to FBI headquarters.
610. Hire him as a fashion consultant. He'll die of embarrassment.
 
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