Roleplay By Monologues

Status
Not open for further replies.
Copperfox had his own table set aside for the times when he ate meals at his own vegetarian restaurant. This was where Emmett the gunslinger would join him when dining as his guest. Since they had already encountered one other man called Emmett in this thread, and that one also might possibly be a guest at intervals, Copperfox began referring to this reserved table as "THE PERIODIC TABLE OF EMMETTS."
 
This new table was created of course because Chuck Norris had destroyed the one on ELEMENTS because he only believed in the "element of surprise."
 
Pippin enjoyed his time as a drummer in a rockband but decided to leave. Haldir delivered flyers about the Wizard of Oz movie. Pippin wanted to see how it was made. On the front page of the flyer Pippin saw Haldir playing as Dorothy and Sauron played the tin man. Sauron didn't want to risk his eye might get hurt. And while Pippin looked at the flyer he passed Emmett and Copperfox having dinner
 
The sailor and the gunslinger hailed the hobbit to come in and join them; a booster seat was provided. Pippin found plenty to his liking on the menu, but found the conversation of the two human men a little depressing; both were talking about their lack of success with women. So Pippin changed the subject to something more cheerful.

"Have you fellows heard that there's a musical play _titled_ 'Pippin'? It's not named for me; Pippin was also the nickname of a grandson of Emperor Charlemagne. All the same, I'll be auditioning for a production of it!"

"That's great!" exclaimed Copperfox. "I'm actually descended from Charlemagne, through Richard the Fearless of Normandy, on my mother's mother's side. That's not a forum joke, either, it's the truth."

"Well, fry my bacon!" said Emmett, impressed.

Pippin looked uncomfortable at that. "Um, uh, Emmett, isn't this a vegetarian restaurant?"

Emmett smiled. "That was a figure of speech. Ya don't have to be a Hah-vahd graduate to be able to use figurative language."

"And I grant you," added Copperfox, "that old Charlemagne got around enough, that _plenty_ of people are descended from him somewhere on the chart."
 
Fortunately, Copperfox's vegetarian restaurant had SUCH a wide selection that even the Trix Rabbit was able to find items to eat that would console him for missing out on a sugar-junk breakfast cereal.

As for Amanda, the moment Copperfox saw her, he ran up and Gugged her fondly, then offered to make one of his fruit-and-yogurt blender shakes for her, free of charge of course.
 
yes! Fruit-and-yogurt shake!

While Copperfox and Bruiser were catching up and enjoying their fruit-and-yogurt shakes, off in a jungle a teenage boy was on a journey that was to change his life forever. A journey that only he could understand.

:p
 
A black panther met the boy--who had no time to be frightened before feeling astonishment instead, as the panther spoke:

"Mowgli, is that you? No, no, I can smell now that you're someone else. Pardon my startling you; my name's Bagheera. You may have heard of me; Mr. Kipling wrote about me. Are you all right? Are you lost?"
 
Bat-Bat, from atop a high tree, out of sight from them, was watching this exchange in case the boy turned out to be another one of those Vampire role players. If that was the case, Bat-Bat was ready to set him straight! And report him to the mods!
 
Alf was on a quest but he didn't know what he was looking for. he walked to Egypt to seek the pyramids. On his way he saw a sign " fata morgana be aware". Alf walked on. Suddenly he saw a boy on a horse. The boy looked like a 13 year old boy. Alf stopped the boy.

" What are you doing here?"
" I seek for answers"
" But what's your question?"
" I don't know. I just seek for answers".
" But how can you seek for answers if you don't even know what your question is?"
" Exactly".

The boy continued his ride and went to somewhere only he knew.

Alf walked on and saw another 13 year old boy on a horse. The same quest.
And more boys on horses passed Alf. All with the same questions.
Alf decided to return because he already knew his answer. And where he went only Alf knew.
 
Emmett the gunslinger observed all of this and he felt dismayed at seeing that now even thirteen-year-old boys where on quests. He felt sorry for this boy because no matter what he was going to attempt, all the thirteen-year-old girls would come up with something bigger than him. He did not know that those girls had a chip on their shoulder against males so much so that whatever powers he possessed, they were not enough to make him better than the girls. The girls will always figured out ultimate powers that existed only in their imagination.
 
Last edited:
And the list of girls and boys started to grow. The invisible mods were prepared to lock whenever a vampire turned up. But no vampires or Harry Potter character showed up except in the final book Haldir was reading.
Haldir was getting ready for his first official play. He dressed up as Dorothy while sauron was melting everybody working on him and his costume. Sauron was told to close his eye but this could only be done if the Ring would be thrown into Mount Doom. But Aslan took the Ring and made it a normal ring. Sauron spent his life as one big eye. Haldir told him to make money with it. He could be a great guard or tourist attraction because he could see more far than anybody else.

And again a girl went out on a quest but this time followed by her parents who -according to her- didn't understand her anyway so why try to show interest now?
 
Returning to The Octopus Garden, Emmett was informed by a waiter that Copperfox had headed over to the Alice-in-Wonderland-related RP thread. "Can't blame the squid," Emmett mused. "That there blue-kirtled lady is easy on the eyes and fine for conversation, even though neither Copperfox nor I would ever think of trying to steal her from her husband. Makes a fellow wonder, though, if WE'LL ever find a true love. Well, in Copperfox's case that would be finding a THIRD true love..."

Emmett returned to the original Gunslinger Steakhouse, just in time to see Jake also returning there. "What happened to your second Colt .45?" Emmett asked his younger brother.

"I lent it to a bee-you-tea-full young lady in blue, over yonder in that there castle," Jake explained, "because she needed to be able to teach some folks better manners. And yes, I know she met you, and yes, I know she's married, and no, I didn't put no moves on her. You did a good job teachin' me to respect ladies."

Before long, they had some new customers: five or six 13-year-old boys, who had become discouraged with their lonely horseback quests. They had all run into 13-year-old girls who insisted that THEIR quests were far superior, and those girls wouldn't quit harping on it. But the boys had heard that stuck-up girls tended to quiet down when Emmett was near: there was something about him helping some of them after they fell into a cactus patch. So the boys figured they could eat in peace if they ate at Emmett's restaurant.
 
The Walrus and the Carpenter from the Castle roleplay headed for Emmett's Gunslinger Steakhouse to see if it had oysters or indeed any seafood. It did have fish at least; but the Wonderland characters never got to eat there. They were intercepted by a crowd of 13-year-old girls who were NOT among the ones talked to by Aslan and Lady Sarah. This meant that these girls still had their chips on their shoulders when it came to anyone male. So they bombarded the Walrus and the Carpenter with belligerent remarks about how inferior they MUST be just by being male at all. One girl with expensive dental work (for which she had never once thanked her parents) even claimed that her teeth were more impressive than the Walrus' tusks.

The Walrus and the Carpenter headed back to their home thread in disgust; there, bypassing the castle, they went to the beach to dig for clams.
 
Meanwhile on flight 92 Lucy turned away from her stunning aerial view of the Rockies and nudged her fiance.

"Hey, Jude! Wake up!"

"Mmmh? What?"

"You said you'd give me my birthday present when we were on the plane. Well... it's been two hours since we lifted off. I'm curious."

Jude reached under the seat and pulled out the backpack. Inside the outer pocket was a little box.

"Here..."

She ripped off the silver paper and opened the box...

"Oh! A necklace! It's beautiful! Are these diamonds?"

...
 
But before he could answer, a stewardess emerged from the cabin and said over her microphone: "Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen: does anyone here know how to fly an airplane?"
 
Sauron blinked. He really could do little else.

Being ADD was a bit of a problem sometimes, he had no clear recollection of where he'd left the rest of this body parts. He was glad his new prescription for Ritalin eye-drops was due to come in, maybe then he could at least find his nose, which seemed to have run off.
 
The next time Emmett saw Copperfox, the gunslinger shared an idea that had come to him.

"Copperfox, old squid, you know what they say about makin' lemonade if'n life gives you lemons? I got me the goldangedest epiphany: we might as well make a game out of bein' rejected by womenfolk, seein' as how so many of 'em are gonna do it anyway. We can make it a CONTEST: see who can get rejected in the most all-fired outrageous ways!"

Copperfox raised an eyebrow. "You don't mean we should behave BADLY to women just to alienate them, do you?"

Emmett snorted. "Heck, no! 'Tain't no fun gettin' rejected if'n you DESERVE to be! Spoils the whole point of the contest! No, I figure for you'n me both to do as we've already been doin': treatin' ladies like ladies, goin' out of our way to look out for their welfare--you don't need ME to teach yuh that. Then when the ones we want refuse to have any part of us, we can git together an' feel sorry for ourselves! And bonus points every time a woman that rejects us turns around and--by no fault of ours--throws herself at some coyote who DOES behave badly to her."

Copperfox looked thoughtful. "That does hit close to home. But you're not saying that EVERY woman who fails to feel romantic interest in us is automatically a bad woman, are you?"

"Nope," Emmett assured him. "If'n we reflexively assume the worst about women that reject us, that'll mean that we've got a less than chivalrous attitude in our hearts. We gotta do our best to have Christian charity toward all the ladies who turn us down, so's we can be noble in our suffering."

"That sounds like a fine line to walk," said Copperfox. "But I suppose we could give it a try."

"That's the spirit!" barked the gunslinger. "Just you watch: in no time flat, we'll have ladies lined up round the block, waitin' their turn to tell us NO!"
 
Bat-Bat was also flying alongside flight 92 to make sure this Lucy was not going to start a vampire game in the plane. He also wanted to make sure this Lucy was not a thirteen-year-old role player that all of a sudden imagined she had the power to fly any airplane in the world.
 
When it became apparent that the airliner was _really_ in trouble, Bat-Bat used his knowledge of aerodynamics to grab various control surfaces of the plane--ailerons, flaps, rudder, stabilizers--and steer the plane down to a survivable landing. In the last moments, trying to steady the plane's run on the ground, he slipped under one gigantic set of wheels and was flattened. The plane being on grassy ground, and Bat-Bat being a superhero, he was not killed; but he was feeling awfully wide and thin, like a Warner Brothers cartoon character flattened by a steamroller.

When the airliner came to a halt and the evacuation chutes were deployed, the passengers crowded out and looked around to get their bearings. Ten or fifteen young women, including two stewardesses, ran excitedly in the direction of where Bat-Bat lay counting his fractures. They kept running _after_ they reached their heroic rescuer, some of them stepping heedlessly on his face as they went by...for they were looking for horses that they could lavish all their attention on.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top