To arms, fellow Duffers!

Are you sure Elizabeth never punched anyone? I thought I spotted Wickham sporting a black eye after he showed up at the Bennets' for dinner that day...but maybe the light was bad.

(This would be the place to mention the family photo where my brother appears to have a black eye, because a shadow got on his face. So much for going to a professional photographer.)
 
The black eye was from the kickback of his gun, when he tried to impress Elizabeth by shooting a goose.

Have mercy on the photographer. Good family photos aren't meant to be. You can't cage four generations in a tiny spot and expect them to be all smiley about it.
 
It was only one generation, thank you, but the next four generations will be wondering about that black eye.

Wickham holds the but of his gun to his face while he shoots? I'm impressed. That's dedication.
 
Oh yes. Not long after he introduced this method to the British army, they became a very large empire. The courage the soldiers displayed by risking their eyesight each time they fired a gun struck terror into the hearts of their enemies.
 
That's impressive. Unfortunately, guns don't kick quite like they used to, or I would try to introduce that tactic to the American army. If it would scare the Chinese into giving us free plastic toys, it would be worth it.
 
Glenburne said:
Are you sure Elizabeth never punched anyone? I thought I spotted Wickham sporting a black eye after he showed up at the Bennets' for dinner that day...but maybe the light was bad.

(This would be the place to mention the family photo where my brother appears to have a black eye, because a shadow got on his face. So much for going to a professional photographer.)
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That is a hilarious family anecdote. You should show the picture to people and say, "He wouldn't smile for the photo, and the photographer got so mad they punched him in the face! We never went back to that photographer..."
 
The boy is a natural-born troll. He would probably love that.

We have gotten to the place in our relationship that whenever he says something outrageous, I have a stock pair of responses: "Are you trolling?" and "Stop trolling." We're planning on getting him a bridge for his retirement facility and sending three billy goats across it.
 
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Glenburne said:
The boy is a natural-born troll. He would probably love that.

We have gotten to the place in our relationship that whenever he says something outrageous, I have a stock pair of responses: "Are you trolling?" and "Stop trolling." We've planning on getting him a bridge for his retirement facility and sending three billy goats across it.
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What an excellent plan. xD

GG and Zella say they need a portable troll bridge for me when I'm being obnoxious...
 
Portable troll bridges. We live in a degenerate age. Back when I was young, we had stone bridges for trolls. Now they hide under those nasty concrete structures and spray rude political messages in blue paint.

*sigh*
 
I would prefer murals of saints and heroes painted by hand, thank you, and only on walls explicitly reserved for the purpose.
 
You do get a bear. Unfortunately (for you), it is a cute, little goatee, and all of the Duffers with long beards (Olorin, Lossy-tree, the DLF, Dernhelm) laugh at you perpetually.


I wish for a new copy of The Lord of the Rings.


















...

















Oh, this isn't the Corrupt-a-Wish topic? Are you quite certain? Oh, dear.
 
WarriorSatyr said:
You do get a bear. Unfortunately (for you), it is a cute, little goatee
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Great, now I'm stuck with the mental image of a bear with a goatee. He's wearing hipster glasses, too, but he can't really pull off the hipster because he's so big and clumsy. It's really awkward to watch. I want to go home now. And why is there a crazy woman tugging at the goatee and insisting that it's hers? And why are those squirrels forming a circle around her? So many questions. Is this the Ask a Telmarine thread?
 
That goatee is not mine, and I do not want it. I want a real beard, with a story. Like, it exists because some politician got elected (horrors) and the grower of the beard decided not to shave until the politician left office. Except the politician became a lifelong dictator, so the beard got enormously long, until the beard-grower was arrested for conspiracy and had it cut off before he entered prison. Now, that's a beard.
 
Miss Freckles said:
Great, now I'm stuck with the mental image of a bear with a goatee. He's wearing hipster glasses, too, but he can't really pull off the hipster because he's so big and clumsy. It's really awkward to watch. I want to go home now. And why is there a crazy woman tugging at the goatee and insisting that it's hers? And why are those squirrels forming a circle around her? So many questions. Is this the Ask a Telmarine thread?
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Beard. Beard. I meant beard. It was a mistake.
 
*watches fondly as hipster bear chews on WS's deerskin moccasin*

I'm really beginning to like him. Not least because unlike some underworldly pets, hipster bear actually has a sense of humor. Mainly biting sarcasm (as well as actual biting) but it's a start.
 
That bear was chewing on moccasins before it was cool.

Because apparently moccasin-chewing has been popularized by the antics of the DLF....

*watches Freckles chewing on a moccasin*
 
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