To arms, fellow Duffers!

But I am watching you while you eat. What you mean is that I shouldn't--but I'm still deciding whether I can trust you on etiquette, when you are chewing on a moccasin. In public.
 
If you insist on spreading nasty rumors, I will sneeze on a whale and then drop it on you. You'll never know what killed you: the weight or the germs.
 
Don't worry, the friction as the whale falls through the air will knock all those nasty germs right off. And I will step out from underneath the whale and watch it punch a hole in the ground.
 
If I die, at least I will have the pleasure of knowing that you were impoverished by having to purchase chain mail for an animal this big, and that therefore you will be forced to move out of your apartment into a cardboard box, where you will live the rest of your life. On the bright side, the box is plain cardboard, and comes with a set of fresh crayons.
 
Glenburne said:
If I die, at least I will have the pleasure of knowing that you were impoverished by having to purchase chain mail for an animal this big, and that therefore you will be forced to move out of your apartment into a cardboard box, where you will live the rest of your life. On the bright side, the box is plain cardboard, and comes with a set of fresh crayons.
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I couldn't resist the offer; it was a 2 for 1 special.

*chainmail whale #2 falls on top of Glen*

WarriorSatyr said:
*Chews thoughtfully on a moccasin...*
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Aaany second now... Just keep chewing...
 
Glen's ghost: *happily watches Freckles move into the cardboard box* Let the crayon art commence.
 
WS, hasn't GG warned you about the consequences of focusing too much on your appetite? Put the food down and go do something productive, like teaching the Duffer Sun to read.
 
WarriorSatyr said:
Shh! Ben and Jerry's is copyrighted. I don't want to be sued!

Bob & Terry's does not exist. It was chosen because it sounded like the real-world option.
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I don't think Ben & Jerry's would sue anyone for telling the world they were eating their product. I had always thought they had good business sense.

Glenburne said:
SUE HIM! SUE HIM!

No, seriously. It would be fun.
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The list of things you find fun may bear many different titles, Glenburnacho... For example, "F68.3", or, "Things 18th Century Ladies Have Done Out of Boredom".
 
Speaking of fun, I was really proud of my brother for getting kicked out of Wal-mart. It reminded me of an old Duffer thread. (Although he got kicked out as part of his youth group for having a scavenger hunt in the store. Not nearly as fun as some of the ideas on the thread.)

Anyway, you really should sue. It would add meaning to your life. (See, now I sound like a therapist. So trust me.)
 
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