war of the dwarves and elves!

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When an electric razor gets stuck in my beard, I am outraged by this Elvish trickery as a ragged fistful of my beard is torn away. So I retaliate by having a firehose brought up--which squirts not water but Orc blood, something we Dwarves have spilled plenty of. See how you Elves like having THIS in your sissy blonde hair!
 
Sissy blond hair?????
At least we CLEAN and BRUSH her "sissy blonde hair"!!!
*puts up Elvish umbrella as a wave of Orc blood flies toward me*
NYAHHH!!!!!!Take that!:p
 
You Elves clearly don't know the force of REAL firehoses. A mere turning up of the pressure, and the stream of Orc blood knocks the umbrella right out of its owner's grasp.
 
But while you were occupied with shampooing, and while your kittens figured they were so clever turning off the firehose spigot, we "primitive" Dwarfs made an end-run past you and swiped NOT ONLY several sacks of lembas, but also four flasks of miruvor. With a swig of miruvor, the missing hunk of my beard starts growing back in!
 
*Sneaks into Dwarf camp and recovers what is left of the lembas and miruvar while they are sleeping - after fixing her hair, of course!*
 
:eek:What! I risked my life for cherry coke! I don't even like coke! Who substituted the coke for miruvor? I think I will sue!
 
^I have been falsely accused! I hate cherry coke, I wouldn't get within 10 feet of it.... :p
 
Zella said:
Perhaps that's why you substituted it for the miruvor; you wanted to get rid of the coke! *Glares*
Click to expand...

I would have had to get within ten feet of it to do that!

*hides eleven foot pole*
 
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