war of the dwarves and elves!

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*Saves one of the rubber bands and uses it to capture the super fast helicopter and fling it high into the air*
 
But the reason WHY the hole is bottomless, is that it is like a Moebius strip, returning to its beginning; thus the diverting of the helicopter only SLOWS the return of our axes. A few moments later, all the axes come flying out anyway....to land right on the diaper supply for the Elf baby (before returning to us), cutting the diapers into unusable shreds! When that combination of pie and rubber the baby ate starts to come out, you Elves will have an EPIC mess to clean up!
 
The diaper pile is nonexistent, Copperfox...only baby Dwarves do nasty things like what you're suggesting. *baby Elf smiles because of pie and rubber in belly*
 
In that case, what the axes destroy before coming back to us is the nearest six or seven tents in the Elvish camp.
 
But even while deafened, we can still sense the noise of any coming threat by feeling the vibrations in our feet. That's the rapport Dwarves have with the Earth.


~ ~ Shoots another thousand gallons or so of green slime
 
Glenburne said:
*baby Elf gets thirsty and drinks all the slime*
Click to expand...


It is a scientific fact that liquids cannot be compressed. Therefore, if the baby drinks a thousand gallons of ANY liquid, that baby MUST swell up to match the space occupied by that much liquid. The baby thus temporarily grows larger than two refrigerators, and loses the use of its limbs. Laughing, some Dwarves dash in and roll the baby like a huge boulder, knocking down the remaining tents in the Elvish camp. Then they leave the adult Elves to figure out how all that slime ever DOES pass back out of the baby, if baby Elves have no elimination functions.
 
Scientific fact?! Since when are Elves scientific?! That's for mortals! Baby Elf is just fine, thank you very much, and the Dwarves can keep their evil dreams to themselves. *baby Elf squeals happily*
 
Tolkien wrote that right and wrong are not one thing for men and another thing for dwarves and elves. If being elves cancels out physics, then this includes cancelling out the ability of your bows to shoot arrows. It even means that the elvish sewing machine can't make new tents, because a sewing machine also works on physical principles. In fact, if physics don't apply to you, gravity also doesn't hold you on the Earth. We'll wave at you as we watch you floating randomly away into the sky. :p
 
Wasn't he talking about morals, not what would happen if his Elves ate too much slime?
 
But look also at the scene in which the hobbits wonder if the elven-cloaks from Lothlorien are magical, and the elves think it odd to ask this, replying that the cloaks are simply well made. This implies that elves used the same physical processes, like weaving, that humans would use--thus, that elves DO operate within the material realm of cause and effect.

So, either it WAS fun crushing your tents under the weight of a giant baby, or it IS fun watching you float away because gravity doesn't anchor you.
 
I don't think that necessarily implies physics. Instead, I think the Elves' response shows more that they don't think of magic as "magical" in the same way the hobbits did. They operated on an entirely different plane, where magical processes weren't mentally separate from "natural," since many types of magic were natural for Elves.

And I had thought Dwarves were mortal, not immortal like Elves. Am I wrong?
 
I have a simple solution for both problems depending on what one takes place;
*calls in ompa loompa's to deflate baby elf*
*gets spacesuits for all the elves along with a boat anchor which keeps us on the ground*

:D

edit: AND you are both over-analyzing something from the land of the duffers! For shame! :p
 
"Mortal" and "supernormal" are not mutually exclusive. But if you think that being magical simply removes the logic of the universe, I'm cool with that. I can just say, "Two times two equals fifty million," and just like that I have another fifty million dwarvish warriors to fling fifty million pies at your elf-platoon! (Which at least gives you a variety of flavors.)
 
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