war of the dwarves and elves!

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A massive squadron of flying beards homes in to provide air cover for Tirian. Several of them bring a repair kit to patch and re-inflate the tires on Tirian's bicycle; some absorb the sissy Elf-perfume; some (assisted by flying mustaches) hold off all attempted counter-counterattacks by the sissy flying braids; and some dive on the kittens and tie their tails together again, which they deserve.
 
Remember Gimli slaying a Warg, which was bigger than a dog. The well-armed Dwarf troops easily drive off any number of dogs. And remember, before you try any secret weapons: that Menoa tree WILL come down if we are provoked far enough.
 
Copperfox said:
Remember Gimli slaying a Warg, which was bigger than a dog. The well-armed Dwarf troops easily drive off any number of dogs. And remember, before you try any secret weapons: that Menoa tree WILL come down if we are provoked far enough.
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Either that or the dwarves will run for their lives.:rolleyes: (from your unknowingness about the Menoa tree I see you dwarves have never read Eragon or its succesors.:rolleyes::p)

And these aren't just any dogs these are Doglanders. They are taller than a man and can use weapons like humans, elves or dwarves. This is only my first line of defense.

And I will not deploy my secret weapons until throughly provoked.
 
If Mozart can retroactively change her dogs into super-dogs, I can (and do) retroactively arm the Dwarf troops with 30mm rotary chain guns. As proof of our merciful nature, the bullets are tranquilizer bullets; but they can pierce any armor, and enough of them hit your Doglanders to put them into suspended animation for the next five years.

As for your Menoa tree, I don't expect Tirian to be able to fell it with an axe; but we're not IN the world of the Eragon stories, and in the world of this comical war that tree CAN be felled if we put our minds to it.
 
Tirian541 said:
After getting bucket off head: *runs to get new toy from workshop* *brings out huge elf-food magnetic* *shares new food with dwarf camp*

But Glenburne, you forgot to throw in my new rust and water proof axe!
*jumps on bike and rides toward Glenburne*
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*baby Elf crawls out of the way of the bike and blows a razzberry at Tirian as his tires blow out* Meanwhile, the self-esteem police chase down the Dwarves for using verbal insults (namely, "sissy") in an attempt to make the Elves feel bad about themselves. If the Dwarves do not retract their harsh language and make appropriate restitution, then the self-esteem police shall exclude them from polite society.
 
Glenburne said:
If the Dwarves do not retract their harsh language and make appropriate restitution, then the self-esteem police shall exclude them from polite society.
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Excluding us from THEIR idea of polite society is doing us a favor!!!


From the halls of Dwarvish caverns
To the shores of unnamed seas,
We will fight the Elvish sissies
And their great absurdities!

First to beat their dumb Doglanders,
While we keep our beards unclean,
We are proud to catch their kittens,
Who thought they could pass unseen!
 
If the Dwarves, namely Copperfox, persist in namecalling--then the Elves need to come up with a few names for the Dwarves...any suggestions, fellow immortals?
 
Since you SISSY Elves may not have the imagination for good insults, let me help you out.

You can call us rock-brained, sewer-diving, moss-bearded, barrel-bellied, nose-picking, garbage-eating, frog-faced, cross-eyed, tone-deaf, cram-baking, sludge-drinking troglodytes.

But the nose-picking part is not really true.


= = = = = = = = = = = =

"Every liberal is in reaction against the previous form of liberalism."
-- Archbishop Fulton Sheen ​
 
Mmm....how about DD(Druken Dwarves?),as if anyone has watched deleted scenes from LOTR(namely,the drinking contest between Legolas and Gimli)you will see that Elves cannot get drunk.Which means Leggy FLOORED Gimmers in the contest. *evil laugh*Sorry,Gimmers.:p
 
SingingDryad~ said:
Mmm....how about DD(Druken Dwarves?),as if anyone has watched deleted scenes from LOTR(namely,the drinking contest between Legolas and Gimli)you will see that Elves cannot get drunk.Which means Leggy FLOORED Gimmers in the contest. *evil laugh*Sorry,Gimmers.:p
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I remeber that scene.:p

I know! We can call the dwarves DLEs! (dratted little enemies):D
 
Keep it up, sissy Elves. Now I see why Eru (God) made you immortal: at this rate, you'll need centuries to come up with some REALLY good insults for us! As for drinking, if you read the BOOK of "The Hobbit," you'll find that some Wood-Elves (same kind as Lego-lazy) were much more affected by alcohol than what is depicted in that biased Elvish-propaganda movie!


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"Every liberal is in reaction against the previous form of liberalism."
-- Archbishop Fulton Sheen ​
 
As you pointed out though this is a game and if you can cut down the Menoa tree we can be immune to drunkeness.:p

(This is a game it is only a game. If this were real life you would be given better opponents)
 
I wasn't insisting that YOU would get drunk! Just making things clear about pure Tolkien-world stuff. Anyway, you Elves are sissy enough when you're sober! :p
 
Oh yeah?
You Dwarves are stubborn,arrogant,don't know how to defend yourself against a rabid toaster,are trying to cut down our Menoa tree,and are lousy oppenents-all of this whether your drunk OR sober!:p
*shoots stream of arrows at Dwarves*Never mess with sissy Elves!
 
Copperfox said:
Keep it up, sissy Elves. Now I see why Eru (God) made you immortal: at this rate, you'll need centuries to come up with some REALLY good insults for us!
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All right...you Dwarves are twig-armed, pebble-brained, rude, crude, string-bearded, bow-legged, impolite, self-important, stuck-up, unmusical, loud-mouthed, conceited, uneducated, squid-skinned, impatient, narrow-minded, inhospitable, claw-handed, inconsiderate, granite hearted, mushroom-nosed, navel-picking, earwax-chewing, toejam sucking illiterates!

Not quite a century. :D
 
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