Copperfox
Well-known member
And you're banned because, long before you had this biology class, I had written the following scene in which my fictional hero Alipang Havens is beginning a biology course with a teacher who wants to believe that Christians are stupid....
Mr. Hayata opened his campaign against Alipang within the first five minutes of class.
"As you all know, homo sapiens evolved as a _social_ creature. All other things being equal, there has always been a Darwinian advantage for large, coherent communities over little scattered clans. This fall we have a chance to meet some teens who have entered our community from the fragmented world of so-called homeschooling. One of them is with us right now, sitting beside Kim Tisdale. Alipang Havens, will you please face the class and tell us a little about yourself?"
Rising, Al surprised Kim with just how much calmer and smoother his speech was now than when he spoke to her. "Good afternoon, everybody. I was born in the Philippines, orphaned at a young age, and adopted by an American couple who were serving as World Vis--"
"Excuse me," Mr. Hayata interrupted. "I did not ask you to discuss _religion_ here. I know they don't tell you this in homeschool courses, but here we happen to respect the Constitutional separation of church and state. You may sit down." Alipang knew, and strongly suspected that the arrogant teacher also knew, that the "separation" catchphrase wasn't even IN the Constitution; but he sat down and held his peace on that point. Hayata, though, had not finished with him.
With a glowering expression which probably had intimidated many a student, the Biology teacher said, "Perhaps, Mr. Havens, you can find some _relevant_ knowledge to share with us. For example: is a shark a vertebrate?"
"Strictly speaking, sir, no it isn't, because it lacks a complete bony endoskeleton. It is a chordate."
"Not bad. What is the difference between an infectious disease and a contagious disease?"
"Sir, if you were to draw a Venn diagram, the circle for contagious diseases would fall within the larger circle for infectious diseases. 'Infectious' means that you catch the disease _from_ something, which would include insect-borne diseases like malaria. 'Contagious' is a narrower term, referring to diseases caught from other members of one's own species."
Hayata looked exactly like a poker player who suddenly realizes that his opponent holds better cards than he had thought. But he rallied. "Why is it said that bumblebees can't fly?"
"Sir, someone long ago drew up an aerodynamic model of a bumblebee as an airplane, demonstrating that its wing area was too small to carry its weight. But the person doing this project was treating the insect as a fixed-wing aircraft, failing to account for the increased lift provided by the bumblebee _moving_ its wings. The only thing that the aerodynamic study really proved is that careless or dishonest people can sound convincing even while falsifying conclusions."
At that, Mr. Hayata folded, and resumed his normal first-day lecture.
Mr. Hayata opened his campaign against Alipang within the first five minutes of class.
"As you all know, homo sapiens evolved as a _social_ creature. All other things being equal, there has always been a Darwinian advantage for large, coherent communities over little scattered clans. This fall we have a chance to meet some teens who have entered our community from the fragmented world of so-called homeschooling. One of them is with us right now, sitting beside Kim Tisdale. Alipang Havens, will you please face the class and tell us a little about yourself?"
Rising, Al surprised Kim with just how much calmer and smoother his speech was now than when he spoke to her. "Good afternoon, everybody. I was born in the Philippines, orphaned at a young age, and adopted by an American couple who were serving as World Vis--"
"Excuse me," Mr. Hayata interrupted. "I did not ask you to discuss _religion_ here. I know they don't tell you this in homeschool courses, but here we happen to respect the Constitutional separation of church and state. You may sit down." Alipang knew, and strongly suspected that the arrogant teacher also knew, that the "separation" catchphrase wasn't even IN the Constitution; but he sat down and held his peace on that point. Hayata, though, had not finished with him.
With a glowering expression which probably had intimidated many a student, the Biology teacher said, "Perhaps, Mr. Havens, you can find some _relevant_ knowledge to share with us. For example: is a shark a vertebrate?"
"Strictly speaking, sir, no it isn't, because it lacks a complete bony endoskeleton. It is a chordate."
"Not bad. What is the difference between an infectious disease and a contagious disease?"
"Sir, if you were to draw a Venn diagram, the circle for contagious diseases would fall within the larger circle for infectious diseases. 'Infectious' means that you catch the disease _from_ something, which would include insect-borne diseases like malaria. 'Contagious' is a narrower term, referring to diseases caught from other members of one's own species."
Hayata looked exactly like a poker player who suddenly realizes that his opponent holds better cards than he had thought. But he rallied. "Why is it said that bumblebees can't fly?"
"Sir, someone long ago drew up an aerodynamic model of a bumblebee as an airplane, demonstrating that its wing area was too small to carry its weight. But the person doing this project was treating the insect as a fixed-wing aircraft, failing to account for the increased lift provided by the bumblebee _moving_ its wings. The only thing that the aerodynamic study really proved is that careless or dishonest people can sound convincing even while falsifying conclusions."
At that, Mr. Hayata folded, and resumed his normal first-day lecture.
