Really Bad Jokes.

How is a clarinet like a laser? Neither one can make music.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of clarinets? You have to take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
What's the difference between a dead clarinetist in the middle of the road and a dead badger in the middle of the road? There are skid marks in front of the badger.
You come to a four-way intersection in the road. Straight ahead, there's Santa stopping you from driving. On the right, there's the Tooth Fairy, blocking your path as well. On the left, there's a good clarinetist, taking after the actions of the first two. Who do you run over? You don't have to run over anyone, they're all fictional.
 
Chlo said:
That's mean... :((
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You want me to insult other instruments too?

Ok then.
What do you call a guitarist who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 20. 1 to hold the lightbulb and 19 to drink until the room spins.
 
Just merged this; that's why the name is different. :)

A joke:

How many hobbits does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, it takes twenty because:
Three to find a ladder that reaches up to the sky
Seven to find a lightbulb in the dark halls of stone
Nine to steady the ladder so the one on top doesn't die
One to install the lightbulb, on the ladder, all alone
In a land called The Shire, where very few shadows lie.


:D
 
A horse walked into a pub and the tender asked, "Oy mate, why the long face?"

Once Lady Astor sneered at Sir Winston Churchill. "If you were my husband, I'd put arsenic in your tea!" He fired back, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

A man asked a barrister "For 100 pounds, would you answer me two questions?" He said, "Sure...what's your other one?"

What's the difference between your barrister and your accountant? Ask your barrister what's two plus two and he'll say "More than three and less than five." The accountant will say, "How much do you WANT it to be?"

ES
 
How many Tolkien purists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None -- the lightbulb was not in the book!
:D
 
There were these 2 train engineers in a train going down the tracks. One had to take a dump but there wasn't a bathroom in the train. the other guy suggested that he does it out the train window. So he starts to go and these two HoBos are walking along the side of the tracks and looks at the butt hanging out the window. The Hobo said to his freind " Hey! You slap his face, and I'll take his cigar."
 
lol!!!

ummmm oooh! illl say a bunch of what my oh-so-beloved science teachers says....like dont take this for granite....stupid things liek that. haha i have a blonde joke!!!

one day there was this blonde working at her job. ever since they could remember, her fellow workers and bosses always noticed she always wore a pair of headphones and a CD player, which created problems, because many times, theyd have to yell to get her attention.

one year, the boss talked(more like yelled) at her that the next daY, she was to come w/o the headphones or she would be fired. she tried to protest, but you wouldnt hear any of it.

the next morning, they found the blonde dead on the floor. during the investigation of the house, they saw the blondes CD player. they listened to it and guess what was on it???????


























"breathe in. breathe out. breathe in. breathe out."
 
BAD ONE!

your sooo stupid that u sit on the TV and watch the couch

and this is odd but dumb





why was 10 afraid of nine?????


u can figure that one out right????
 
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the freak sisters said:
BAD ONE!

your sooo stupid that u sit on the couch and watch the TV

and this is odd but dumb





why was 10 afraid of nine?????


u can figure that one out right????
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you have it backwards its

you're so stupid you sit on the tv and watch the couch

and 10 is afraid of 9 because 9 is a ghost because 7 ate 9 :D i have no idea if that is correct

OH!! I got a joke! well blonde joke lol its kinda violent though

There was a blonde, brunette, and red head shopping at the mall. Three men with guns ran into the mall and everybody ran. The brunette ran up to them and said tornado then ran away. The red head ran up to them and said earthquake then ran away. The blonde ran up to them and said fire and they fired.........

lol yeah kinda violent
 
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A lovely 60 year old couple was watching TV one evening, holding hands, when an angel appeared unto them.

"The Lord has admired your example of marital bliss and for your fourtieth wedding anniversary has sent me to give each of you your fondest wish."

The angel took the woman aside and she confided, "My fondest wish is to take a second honeymoon, for our first one never came off." And to her the angel gave two tickets for a Caribbean cruise.

The angel took the man aside and he confided, "I'm ashamed to tell you this, but if you must know my FONDEST wish, I want a wife that's 20 years younger than I am." The angel frowned but granted his wish. And the 80 year old man got a lot of strange looks on the Caribbean cruise with his 60 year old wife, but that's life.... :D
 
TrueCrusader said:
Well it is kinda obvious why I made this topic...
I'm stupid!

Here I'll start off.
whats black white and red all over?!

A penguin holding his breath
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What goes black, white, red?

A stabbed nun rolling down a hill.

Did you know they've taken Steve Irwin's brand of sunscreen off the shelves?

Apparently it doesn't protect you from harmful rays.
 
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