Roleplay By Monologues

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Some "Ascended Beings" from the Stargate series were watching Khellen's situation. "Shall we intervene?" said one. Another answered, "No...if we do that, then ALL the super-duper-unbeatable, all-knowing, everything-doing space beings will want to get in on the act, and they'll tie up the roleplay with posts about how super-duper they are."
 
A small man in a cape stood on the top of an office building and donned a tiny ineffective black mask.

"I AM SUPER-DUPER!" he declared to the gawking pigeons.
 
Mel Gibson's character from the "Lethal Weapon" movies crept up and grabbed the costumed man, to pull him back from the dangerous roof-edge.
 
The 13-year-old girls who had commandeered the dune buggies in the Western town were so full of their own fantasy quests that they forgot that motor vehicles need fuel. They ended up stranded in remote areas of the countryside. When found by troops of Boy Scouts, the girls decided to accept help EVEN THOUGH the Scouts were guilty of being male.
 
Super-Duper Man picked up Mel's character and flew with him into the air, making a rapid and erratic arc into the nearby desert where, to their mutual surprise, a great lot of abandoned dune-buggies were found.

"Great Scott!" Super-Duper Man said, nearly dropping Mel. "Look! A mob of youthful people! Where is my faithful sidekick, Pigeon-Boy?"
 
"I don't know what these dune buggies are doing here," said Mel, "because as you know, Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't already have."

"UH?" Said Super-Duper Man with a stupid expression in his face.

"Cause," continued Mel, "never was the reason for the evening, or the tropic of Sir Galahad."

Super-Duper Man Put Mel down and said:

"You talk silly Mel, so please believe me when I say I'm spinning round, round, round, round, smoke glass stain bright color."

"Ya, mon," said Mel imitating a Jamaican boy.

"Image going down, down, down, down, soapsuds like green bubbles."

"You said it pal," said Mel, slapping Super-Duper Man on the back.

Just then, Harrison Ford (at 109 still playing Indiana Jones) appeared on screen to explain this mysterious discussion between Mel and Super-Duper Man:

"Sometimes late when things are real
And people share the gift of gab between themselves
Some are quick to take the bait
And catch the perfect prize that waits among the shelves."

"UH?" Was all Emmett the cowboy managed to say."That only happens on TDL," he thought.

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/america/tin_man.html
 
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ET showed up. He had heard about a movie called terminator and wanted to see it in the Alien theaters. But he was disappointed. On his way back to his bike he met an Alien from Aliens.

" What is wrong ET? Why are you so sad?"

" I just watched Terminator I and thought it would be cool but it wasn't even scary at all".

" No? I was scared! You know which movie you should watch? Invaders from Mars!"

" Is it like War of the worlds?"

" A bit but much better. I highly recommend it".

" And what about Aliens vs Predator?"

" Don't watch it! I was very disappointed and never thought those aliens would be so stupid".

" Maybe I should watch it after all because you made me curious".

" You better should watch ET. But I warn you...keep your tissues with you. It's sad".

" Oww?"

" yes, it's about an alien who lands on the Earth...blablablablabla and in the end he goes home without his bike"

" So ET wanted to phone home?"

" Yep..you got it and he rode a bike".

" That's funny! I will call my family. They will laugh when they hear this. An alien on a bike".

ET took his phone and called home.

" Yep..I'm coming! Thanks Alien..I just used my phone and will go home now on my bike".

" Bye bye ET".

" Bye bye Alien".
 
The veteran sailor, seeing the beautiful Dutch lady making another of her infrequent appearances, scrambled to find where he had left the yellow rose which he had dropped in despondency when he had seen her lavishing all her attention on Eric Lindros.

But the rose was gone; the Alien who had just been talking with ET had eaten it. This, in fact, was the reason why this Alien had not eaten ET: he had become a vegetarian.

So the sailor, a proficient cook, started a vegetarian restaurant, in hopes of persuading more of the Aliens to stop eating people. He managed to keep the original restaurant running; but he was never able to expand into a chain, because of the popularity of Emmett's Gunslinger Steakhouses.
 
Then, Emmett the cowboy, walking down the road and chewing on a piece of grass, approached Lindros and asked:

"Tell me, how long you gonna stay here, Joe? You don't mind if I call you Joe, do you? He asked."

Lindros saw the big pistols hanging from Emmett's hips and said:"uh... no... I don't mind."

"You know, even though you may be a good hockey player, you don't look good in snow. You don't care, I know. But certain Navy veteran does."
 
Lindros holds his hockeystick. The 6'4 tall canadian looks at the guns pointed at him.

" But I only want to play hockey!"

" You are retired"

" yes I know. Last year I retired but I still have some fans".

" Yep, that crazy nederlandse who wears your jerseys often".

" There are more".

" More crazy nederlandsen?"

" No..crazy people I mean".

" So, turn around".

" No way! You are not going to shoot me aren't you?"

" Ha! Then I will be eliminated by the same crazy nederlandse who writes this reply right now"

Lindros turns around and looks up to writer of this post.

" HEY! If you create this reply then you should add snow and ice because I want to play hockey!!"

Writer of this post draws ice. Lindros looks excited and steps on the ice.

" AAGGHH!!! Why isn't it frozen??? This is vanilla ice!"

" You asked for ice but didn't ask what kinda ice".

Emmett laughs.

" Hockeyplayers have no brains!"

Emmett looks up.

" Don't eliminate me for insulting your favorite player".
 
The sailor, noticing what's going on, calls out to Emmett, "Quick, get back over here into MY post, so you can't be eliminated!"

Jumping into Copperfox's post as urged, Emmett says, "That's mighty kind of you, squid."

Smiling at hearing the slang for "sailor," the sailor says, "Well, I appreciate you wanting to act on my behalf; but some things can't be forced at gunpoint. The Dutch lady has to decide for herself when she wants to pay attention to me, and how much attention. You would normally go along with that yourself, being a chivalrous movie gunslinger of the pre-Sergio Leone model."

"Reckon as how you're right," said Emmett. "But I felt like I owed you something for givin' me as big a role as you've given me in this roleplay, and me not being able to get a Silverado TV series goin' and all."

The sailor smiled. "Don't mention it, Emmett. If you want to do something for me, get me some coupons for your steakhouse. I'm not really a vegetarian."

Emmett smiled back. "I could do that."

"THAT'S _MY_ LINE!" shouted Gimli the Dwarf.
 
A crowd of sexy vampires came pouring into the Monologues thread, their native threads having been locked out from under them. Now, suddenly, Aslan's offer to change them into normal people started looking good. As soon as Aslan had transformed all these refugee vampires into humans, the females among them all jumped onto horses and rode away on solitary quests that no one but themselves could understand.
 
Most of them were of course thirteen-year-old-girls-who-needed-no-rescuing-from-no-stinking-knight-in-no-stinking-shinning-armor-mounted-on-a-white-unicorn. Each one immediately created an entire galaxy where they crowned themselves Ultimate Queen-Warriors and ruled forever. It was fun to see them going to every planet of their own galaxies, each on endless quests which only she understood.
 
Peter the Magnificent and Lucy the Valiant walked up to join Aslan. "Please tell us, Aslan: is this post being written by anyone from Walden Media?"

"No, dear heart," replied the great God-Lion. "It's being written by someone who believes in Me."

"What a relief!" exclaimed Lucy. "Now I can be my real self, and I can treat my brother like HIS real self." With that, Lucy embraced and kissed her brother, then said, "For the record, Peter, I know that you NEVER for one instant forgot how Aslan saved you from the White Witch, and you NEVER tried to steal credit that belonged to Him."
 
Annastasia Lin-Li was fixing her Dad's car when she heard a motorcycle coming up to the garage. She had always loved working with mechanical things, and since her Dad's back had been injured, she had to take care of a lot of things around the house and in the garage.

She got out from underneath the car to see who it was.

"Richie!" It was her boyfriend, Richie Ryan, who also happened to be an immortal (although she had only learned about that a week ago).

Richie got off the bike and ran up to her. "Annastasia!"

"Don't touch me - I'm all covered in engine grease."

But he kissed her anyway. "You're pretty when you're covered in engine grease."
 
Melkor smote them both for misusing Firefly quotes. He then returned to his evil ways of evilness...

Meanwhile, a guy named Billy, who had been relatively unsuccessful at evilness in the past, had an epiphany.

"I'll build a freeze ray and stop the world!"

It was a good idea, he thought.
 
Unfortunately, when he did his first test firing (if it could be called that), the weapon froze its own parts, and immediately ceased functioning.

Looking more closely at his disappointing invention, he suddenly realized that he had subconsciously followed some of the inventing methods of Wile E. Coyote. No wonder the weapon failed! So he started over again, this time being careful not to use any components bearing the name "Acme."
 
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But Miss Freckles' happy laughter brought everyone back to life.

The good-hearted 14-year-old girl Allyson came back to life as a 22-year-old woman. "That's old enough!" declared Hunkolas the Elf, brother of Legolas. Hunkolas, it may be recalled, had been favorably impressed upon learning that Allyson cared MORE for people than for horses. Now Hunkolas and Allyson got married and lived happily ever after, agreeing to ignore any posts that might contradict this.

Another wedding happened also: between Jessica the bellydancing bagpiper, and Colonel Beauregard T. Beauregard of the Confederate Army. They agreed to alternate between living in the 19th century and the 21st century.
 
wakin up on a sunny sunday morning, melkor discovered that his teeth were rotting.
"need to get that appointment at the dentist's" he muttered as he examined his teeth in the mirror. "they're starting to turn black like me..."
 
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