Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

Filomena, the store owner's wife, emerged now, and immediately spotted a teenage girl among Shelley's followers.

"Nasira! What are you doing with these people? What are _they_ doing?"

The girl's face had a tight, hard look which none of the Bahitis had never seen on her before. "They're evolving! They're moving-- _we're_ moving-- beyond savage, primitive customs that cause injustice and exclusion."

"Well said," Lance Heflin told Nasira, in a barely audible voice. Then all eyes were drawn back to Shelley, who levitated herself two feet up and began directing her new recruits. They began picking up the various items of merchandise they had piled at the north edge of the property, and carried these to the _south_ edge of the property.

Filomena grabbed the arm of a thirteen-year-old boy who had just finished shifting a crate of work gloves. "James! If you're going to rob us, why don't you just get to it and _take_ our inventory?"

James would not meet her eyes, but answered, "We're not robbing you, Mrs. Bahiti; we're only establishing a pattern of justice."
 
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"Soon it will all become clear," Shelley assured the Bahitis, raising herself another foot up from the ground.

Her followers, now joined by her doormat husband, fell into a pattern. A few last items not yet carried out of the store were now placed on the first pile, even as three of the locals began taking items from the south pile back _into_ the store. Four complete out-and-back cycles had occurred before Solomon realized that all of the price tags were being torn off.

Shelley, meanwhile, was delivering her sermon:

"The landed-gentry class has taught everyone on our Earth, and on other Earths, to believe that handlers of consumer goods have the authority to determine _prices_ of those goods. But anyone should be able to see what is the common factor in all commodities...." She looked around at her crowd. Lance, alert to the cue, got them started:

"THE LABOR! THE LABOR! THE LABOR!"

After eighteen or twenty repetitions, Lance gave them the cutoff signal, and Shelley continued.

"Yes, it is the exertions of the proletariat which confer value on anything."

Solomon drew near to Shelley. "Let me guess. You want me to agree that what your disciples are doing right now, _counts_ as labor, and _their_ actions, rather than other people's need for tools and hardware, are what makes my inventory valuable."

"Of course! The _people's_ inventory is made valuable by the workers. My friends are performing work, and they are performing it _with_ hardware from the store. Therefore, you now owe all of them a living wage!"

"What, even though nothing they've done has brought us any benefit?" Filomena demanded.

"Benefit belongs to the people's collective!" exclaimed Lance.
 
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Meanwhile, using his ability to become incorporeal, the free-willed android Eyesight had hurried through the Earth's core to join Shurthingy and Bleeder in Wonkabara, where Freddy Rubusana from South Africa was being detained in Shurthingy's laboratory.

Joining them in his sister's headquarters, Plaque Panther asked Eyesight: "Have the rest of the Revengists, or anyone on Hallpasscard, observed any other new vampires?"

"Not so far. I don't know if the Cosmic Fact Checkers have succeeded in passing their dubious gift to Mediumgarder boys, either. There's no indicator for the likelihood of this malignant change recurring."

"I'd hate to have to cut some kid's head off just for having stupid wishes to be a sexy vampire," sighed Bleeder.

"Maybe the Algonquin Indian fellow from that other Earth, Roger something, could help us," Shurthingy suggested. "His newly acquired sorcery might be a wild card that the Queen of the Goshdarned isn't prepared to deal with."

"I'll go speak with Mister Tree Root," said Eyesight.
 
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Okay, it's been quite a while since we hung out in the "second galaxy," where King Highfyver dwells on Planet New Laziness. The latest action depicted in this galaxy did not revolve around New Laziness, but was taking place in "The Cosmic Federation." That particular federation is controlled by three sapient races. Besides humans like us, these races are the Ziblamots, whose arms have an extra joint and can reach into all sorts of awkward spaces; and the Shmeehobbers, who are somewhat amoeba-like but who do have discrete vital organs.

The human Green Flashlight Parbellik Magta, and his essentially-human Heart Sapphire bride Gambisu Luvardra Magta, visited an outlying world of the Cosmic Federation, where they learned that an unexplained phenomenon, targeting only human males, had caused a plague of mental retardation. Parbellik himself almost fell victim to it; now he and Luvardra, with some new local friends, are trying to find out the cause of the widespread affliction. We have seen indications that this federation's leadership is secretly evil, but no proof yet that anyone in that regime caused the mental-decay phenomenon.

On board the Peace Commanders' ship commanded by Captain Kactusita from Planet Fussyfrit, the Ziblamot communications officer finished summarizing for her captain what the party including Braskorim and Wibgug-Bifyok had accomplished on Planet Umbaderro--- up to the part about an unscheduled flight to Madmaksilon. "The Starhatch they found," she concluded, "produced some clue that induced them to go to the planet of wheeled vehicles."

"Thank you, Comms. Let's see, we know that the Dodgelightly returned from its deep-space charting mission, and that the return of some non-impaired human males is causing a stir. We'll request clearance from higher up to proceed straight to Madmaksilon and interview the star schooner's crew."

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Lugwin Hestrum, navigation officer of the survey craft, was busy spending alone time with his fiancee, Carsala of Umbaderro. They had not QUITE been formally engaged at the time Dodgelightly embarked on its just-completed deployment; but with what had happened to men in the Cosmic Federation, Carsala was desperately urgent to make her claim on Lugwin official. And he really did love her, so now it WAS official.

Meanwhile, Parbellik, Luvardra and Chutnykorn met with the star schooner's executive officer, one Todd Milspek. The captain, one Royko Dabdint, was making routine reports to his superiors. The first order of business in the talk with Todd Milspek was for Chutnykorn to describe his own sensations when the unexplained mental assault had swept up against him.

Eventually, Luvardra asked the executive officer, "Does any of that resemble anything you've encountered among planets outside your Federation's territory?"

Todd half-consciously looked around him.

"There's an erect-standing intelligent race, about as close in appearance to Ziblamots as the Ziblamots are close to Humans, called the Jashtishum. They're advanced enough to operate spaceships within their own star system, which is located forty light-years beyond the furthest extent of our Federation. The Jashtishum breathe oxygen and use water; but their metabolisms are different enough that none of our leading races can digest their foods, nor they ours. They aren't interested in joining the Federation, and they have no commodities which we feel any need to trade for, but we do communicate with them occasionally."

"Are we to suppose that you mention this alien race because something of interest occurred involving them?" asked Parbellik.
 
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"So it did," replied the exploration-service officer. "Between the last time any of our people visited Jashtish, and my ship's visit, the Jashtishum were visited by a starship from the opposite direction. The people on this vessel had excellent language-translating technology, and exchanged much knowledge with the locals." Pausing, Todd fished a compact device out of a uniform pocket, and showed the others a series of photographs of human-like beings. "This is what they looked like, not matching any of our databases. The Jashtishum version of a newspaper reporter provided these views from his own data device."

The images were of men and women, clearly a mammalian species, despite having smoothly scaled skin. The women of that race had hair growing from the tops of their heads, hanging down in long ponytails; the men had hair growing from the backs of their heads, hanging like the rear part of a mullet haircut. Apart from eyelashes and nostril hairs, no other hair was visible on any of them.

"Those are ____________!" exclaimed Luvardra. "Some women from their world have historically joined the Heart Sapphire Sisterhood!" <<< Your author has left the race-name blank, because when I depicted a scale-skinned Heart Sapphire Sister on Jersey Earth, I don't remember if I named that race then. >>> "But none of the women in your photos has a forehead gem."

Parbellik put in, "Perhaps the current Heart Sapphire for the _____________ was over on Jersey Earth at the time."

Chutnykorn stayed on topic with Sub-Captain Milspek. "Sir, I believe you were going to relate something connected to the mental disaster in the Federation."

"Yes, I was. The _____________ told the Jashtishum that a world known to them had suffered a mass drop in brain functions-- among males. The targeted race in that instance had been completely non-humanoid, something tentacled and oozy, but the mysterious attack had been gender-selective as with us. That instance had affected only one world, and only struck males on one of that world's five continents."

"A warmup, then," said Chutnykorn.
 
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The Magtas and Chutnykorn spent the next two Madmaksilard days discreetly looking up information about this star system's main gas-giant planet, called Chillworld, a Jupiter type. They didn't lie to anyone about their interest, but neither did they volunteer the information that their discovery in Thousand Leaves Pond had pointed to the gas giant being somehow connected with the retardation plague.

On the third day-- or the fourth, if we count the partial day on which the Magtas arrived with Carsala and Chutnykorn-- two things happened which were expressly designed by Copperfox to get a slow plot thread moving faster. One was that the visiting heroes were sought out by a fine-looking thirty-something-ish woman who was revealed as having genes from the same near-enough-human species as Luvardra. This was Royurbota, granddaughter of the physician's assistant Velda Flake who had smelled a rat in Doctor Flunky's eugenics program on a planet visited by the starship Extrovert. This made Royurbota also the second cousin of the still-missing Lodge Flake, who was the grandson of Velda's brother.

Anyone who has watched the actual BBC-TV series "Blake's Seven" should remember that Rog Blake had a female cousin named Rowena, whose feelings for him were more than sisterly. Copperfox has made Rowena's counterpart a SECOND cousin to the Blake-variant, and then made Royurbota part alien, so that she would be still farther from her hero genetically than regular cousins. If you ask whether this means that Copperfox wants Lodge Flake to survive and marry his distant cousin, Copperfox will pretend not to have heard you.

Still, one of the main purposes of my serial IS to fight for a return to happy endings.

The other, and more immediately important plotline kickstart, was the arrival in-system of two additional Green Flashlights. One of these was native to Jersey Earth, while the other had recently BEEN ON Jersey Earth to help deal with the global interference by the Heart Sapphires. The Earthling Flashlight was Tong Sao-Tu, an ethnic Chinese man from the Malaysia of that Earth, who had by now made it through not less than three weeks of Flashlight Corps training on Planet Wawa. Riding herd on Sao-Tu in this excursion to the "second galaxy" was an experienced Flashlight, the baboon-shaped Jamsorvad.

The Janitors of the Universe, aware of what Parbellik and Luvardra had been up to, noted how a clue to Chillworld's importance had been uncovered on Umbaderro. Accordingly, with Jamsorvad not currently needed on his native world, Master Katmatao had assigned him to help Tong Sao-Tu metaphorically stretch his legs. A big stretch, all the way beyond the Red Streak Wormhole and into the space of the Cosmic Federation.

After a courtesy notification to Parbellik, these two began examining the moons of Chillworld. One thing they did NOT find was an ancient artifact which would cause the "Space Odyssey" theme music to be heard.
 
While the Green Flashlight reinforcements were prowling the entire star system in search of clues, Chutnykorn, Parbellik and Luvardra attended the wedding of Lugwin and Carsala. Shortly thereafter, the trio met with Royurbota, since locals knew that her law-enforcement experience with Judge Whytebredd had left her knowledgeable about many serious topics.

The Magtas ensured that no surveillance could pick up their conversation.

Parbellik addressed Royurbota: "Since arriving in your Federation, we have heard vague allegations that a certain Lodge Flake was a notorious pirate and murderer. Just since landing on Madmaksilon, we've heard that YOU are his cousin. Do you anything that others are hiding?"

"We can do plenty to protect you from any repercussions," Luvardra interjected.

Royurbota sighed. "Lodge and I grew up together; never went longer than a few days without seeing each other. My special genetic background makes me different enough in heredity from him that there would be NO genetic drawbacks in a marriage between us; and all of our parents were in favor of such a match.

"But one time Lodge was involved in a case that I was no part of. He seems to have discovered something he wasn't supposed to find out. Without warning, he told me he wanted to break up with me. He left me crying-- and vanished without a trace. Soon afterward, high-ranking judicial personnel questioned me-- under voiceprint lie detection! But they saw that I really didn't know what had happened.

"Only a month after the investigators left me in peace did my parents show me a sealed message that Lodge had left with them. He said that he had uncovered something terrible, something which had to be stopped, and he had pretended to stop loving me in order to protect me. He told me not to try to learn anything more, because this would make me a target, He asked me to wait for two of our months; if I still didn't hear from him after this, he promised he would not hold it against me if I married someone else.

"As if I had any prospects NOW," she lamented.
 
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Jamsorvad and Tong Sao-Tu scoured the star system for four more Madmaksilard days, using the plotline-convenient signs-of-alien- technology-detection capability of their Flashlight prostheses. Their flight speed enabled them to hop right back to the habitable planet as often as they needed to. In the end, they had to tell planetary authorities that could find no clue to why anyone would have wanted to travel by Starhatch between the outer worlds of this system and the distant world of Umbaderro.

"At least it gave me practice," remarked Sao-Tu, shrugging.

"But I have one more idea to try," said the baboon-like veteran Flashlight. "It involves a non-human hero: Master Yoga-Rug of the Up-Side Fellowship."

Luvardra brightened up. "I know who that is! He mystically transmits wisdom across incredible distances, because fantasy!"

"That's right. And he knows about a very special piece of knowledge-seeking science."

A planetary legislator named Vector Barbell, who was sitting nearby listening, rose from his chair. "Do you mean some invention for which OUR science has never created a counterpart?" This man had also been outside Federation space when the retardation energy struck.

"That's what I mean," Jamsorvad confirmed. "Yoga-Rug has made it known to the Flashlight Corps that, on a planet called Spacebull, not in your galaxy, scientists invented a device which allows people to LOOK BACKWARDS IN TIME, seeing past events. The only complication is that a person somehow CONNECTED WITH a past event has to be near the viewer, in order for it to reveal that event."

"I get it," said Vector. "If someone from within the Cosmic Federation could consult this past-oscope, it might reveal the cause of the brain-dulling phenomenon. If you light-wearers can cross intergalactic space, could you arrange for us to get the use of this invention?"

TO BE CONTINUED, EVENTUALLY.
 
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NEXT WE RETURN TO PLANET PUNKSTEEMA, WHERE WE WILL REFRESH YOUR MEMORY ABOUT SOME LONG- NEGLECTED CHARACTERS FROM THE SOUTHERN CONTINENT WELLVERNIA. (MOST OF THE ACTION HAS BEEN TAKING PLACE ON ARCONDOYLA, THE NORTHERN CONTINENT.)

Four dark-skinned women, ethnically close to Ronald of Goliad, were on a quest to see if the order of Smoke Maidens could be brought back to Wellvernia. There had formerly been lady gunslingers on both continents; but generations ago, the ones in Wellvernia had conceived an irrational dislike for Towermen, simply because (real-world biology applying on this planet) all of the Towermen were physically stronger than women. So the southern Smoke Maidens had moved north with a harrumph, to mingle with their Arcondoylan counterparts. And since about one-seventh of Towermen had Smoke Maidens as mothers, this emigration had contributed to the decline in replacement of Towermen.

The "present-time" Wellvernian women are the ones whom I described as loitering many days on "Disappointment Plateau," before they received guidance to take passage on a Kassregistran cargo ship across the Equatorial Ocean. In descending order of age, the eldest of these being nearly sixty, their names were Mukuma, Florence, Abigail and Halima. Florence was descended from a Towerman, while the other three all had Smoke Maiden ancestors. They were all unattached, Mukuma and Florence being widows. There was just one kinship connection: Abigail was a younger sister of Florence's late husband.

Before putting to sea, they were joined by Gatmorbek, the adult son of Mukuma, who worked as a surveyor and contributed much-needed money as he joined their quest. The twentyish Halima was strongly interested in marrying the diligent, reliable Gatmorbek.

We will need to hurry these five travelers along, because they are months in time behind most of my characters.

* * * * * * * * * *
 
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A south-continent woman who was also dark-skinned, but of different nationality from the above-described women, was ahead of Mukuma and company, moving in about the same direction, with your author wanting Mukuma's party to overtake her. The one farther north in Arcondoyla was the widowed but wealthy N'Dazporhai lady Jutmeddu Bishtal. Her country was a trading partner with Tidumo, a nation whose merchant shipping had been covertly attacked by the Two Rivers Evil Business Corporation at the orders of the late Armando Casador.

A large part of the merchandise Jutmeddu currently was convoying overland was Bibles, printed in the Elsitobri language (which referred to Yeshua/Jesus as "Ishwa"). Yes, your author says that Christianity exists on Punksteema, though in keeping with lazy-fantasy customs, no one on Punksteema understands HOW they came to have a holy book narrating events on another planet.

The nation of N'Dazpor possessed movable-type-font printing presses, which made it a big exporter of books. This included books WRITTEN in other lands and then printed by N'Dazporhai publishers under contract. The Bibles now being shipped were intended for use by the Long Quest Church Alliance, the most vigorous and spiritually powerful good-aligned faith-group on Punksteema. Based in Elsitobrek, the "Long Questers" evangelized peacefully in many nearby countries-- and were vindicated in their spiritual authority by having won many victories over demons and black magic. Even Jaheg-Jorod, in his unnaturally long life, had more than once fled with his tail between his legs from the Long Questers.

But Ishwa had never told His disciples that they would be immune to harm from normal dangers. Mortal evildoers in the hire of Jaheg-Jorod had more than once murdered Long Questers. Accordingly, Jutmeddu's caravan traveled with plenty of armed security. And additional protection in the form of Mukuma's party was gradually closing the distance behind her.

Before starting north from the Elsitobri coast, Jutmeddu had spoken with Reeblin Dessdorp, a spiritually gifted Long Quest woman who was prominent in her congregation. Reeblin had told her that friendlies would be following her. So Jutmeddu did as much loitering as she could without injuring the profitability of her mercantile expedition.

>> NOTE THAT WE HAVE NOT YET COME UP EVEN WITH THE TIME WHEN SIR RONALD'S POSSE WILL DRAW NEAR TO THE GAHURRITE CITY OF OXHIDE SPRING.
 
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AROUND THE SAME TIME AS THE PREVIOUS:

Lord Prendok of Mifdola, the murderer of King Feckladast, was still on good terms with the Bloody Diggers. And, at this point in time-- to settle a question for the readers--the Digger tribe in whose caverns he was lodging with his men received new human visitors.

From Punksteema's low-flying moon.

Some of the Frantic Druids who LIVED ON that moon.

Frantic Druids who didn't feel capable of entirely ruling this world, but who did want to weaken anyone or anything that might be strong enough to defeat any plans of theirs. Which certainly included a resurgence of the Towermen and Smoke Maidens, and of course the Mellow Druids who were friendly to the gunslingers.

Prendok was an interested listener to Druids and Diggers brainstorming strategy. Prendok himself had facilitated the Diggers' work enlarging their continental tunnel network; but now the Frantic Druids were saying that they had the means to make MOVEMENT WITHIN that network much swifter. This was to involve some sorcerous equivalent of rocket propulsion for the Diggers, operating inside their tunnels. But the spells would be cast FROM the moon, and it would have to be done when the moon was roughly above the starting point.

The Frantic Druids explained that it would be to the advantage of the forces of evil if a goblin assault force were to emerge close to Oxhide Spring, Gahurr....... just as a band of heroes was approaching that city. The Frantic Druids explained whom it was that the Diggers should look for to attack, and promised to make sure that Black-Thumb Stedliff's rogues knew NOT to shoot at the suddenly-arriving goblins.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Within two hours after that literally underground conference, Felipe Catalano in the Mifdolan capital received a plotline- convenient intuition both of where Sir Ronald was, and of the fact that the foes Ronald expected to fight were going to receive powerful reinforcements.

After magically transmitting this information to Rizlaya Tohir in Felruda and to T'Pinnok Zur in Hukshem, Felipe hastily requested a meeting with the Queen of Mifdola, and with the Loi-Jeltua lady who owned the airship Gogutai Canyon.
 
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Please refer to Post #1,104 to refresh yourself about the composition of Sir Ronald's posse. We are now back in "present time" for the "Dark Tower"-inspired story arc. The bad guys whom the good guys expect to confront are connected with the poisonings in Upper Wenzeppu.

Scouting to the southeast of their latest camp, Ronald of Goliad had with him three companions who, like him, had the means to shoot enemies from a fair distance. These were his pre-teenage apprentice Diego, the Gahurrite riflewoman Vislaret, and the Gahurrite rifleman Roy Crinkly with his very-long-range buffalo gun.

Diego addressed Vislaret, "Miss, you still haven't said if you want to become a Smoke Maiden yourself."

"True enough. I do like the idea of Smoke Maidens increasing; but I have interests in life besides shooting. One of them is Orlepsoth."

"That makes good sense, miss. You and he between you cover the threat ranges. He can take enemies down six hundred paces away; then you can reduce their numbers as they try to close the distance; and he can slice them up at close quarters, keeping you alive long enough so you can reload."

Vislaret smiled. "Well, yes, as a matter of fact, there've been two or three times when Orly and I did just that against outlaws. And a revival of the gunslinger-heroes won't eliminate capable civilians from joining their missions, as we're doing right now. But I strongly suspect that Orly and I could also find OTHER things worth doing together."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
 
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Three miles back, which was two miles beyond where they had camped the night before, Constable Quadmor Bassett and Connor McLucas were watching all directions while everyone else rested.

"Do you think a good outcome against old Stedriff will have a ripple effect?" asked Connor.

"You mean a rising tide in favor of law and order in all of Gahurr? Well, we can pray and hope."

Connor glanced at the athletic sisters Nishri and Feshri, both sound asleep after voluntarily standing a double night watch and riding two more miles after awakening. "Do you think those two can keep vengeance for their brother subordinate to their living friends staying alive?"

Quadmor was not ceasing to scan the terrain, but he heard all that Connor said. His answer was, "I believe that's why they stood extra sentry duty. They're good at it, and they wanted the rest of us to get that much more sleep. I don't reckon that THEY reckon on stupidly running over open ground, or up the middle of a street in daylight, trying to get into good javelin-throwing range of Black-Thumb. Not in PREFERENCE over us with guns drawing a bead. They'll be looking for their best chance to be useful; and if one of them actually puts Black-Thumb Stedriff under the prairie weeds, that'll be tasty gravy for them." \\\
 
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Ronald, Vislaret, Diego and Roy came riding back soon afterward. Before they could exchange any words with the rest of the posse, a heavy cloud, looking like a C.G.I. effect, appeared a foot above the ground. The face of Rizlaya Tohir, the good witch in Felruda, was imaged in the mist.

"Honorable adventurers, I am the magical advisor to General William Seldunin; I am she who is working with T'Pinnok Zur and Felipe Catalano. You were told that we would advise you of the most advantageous time for you to go on the attack. But I must warn you now that the time span in which we can conceal your movements has been shortened.

"It has been revealed that the moon IS inhabited. The Frantic Druids have a settlement on it, and can PHYSICALLY SEE things on the surface of Punksteema. They sympathize with the outlaws of Gahurr, and have reported to those outlaws the number of people in your band."

Klemrath of Lower Wenzeppu, cousin to Diego Smith, asked, "Then are you able to do ANY concealment for us?"

"Yes;" and she began an incantation, joined by two more voices which had to be T'Pinnok and Felipe. When it was done, Rizlaya told the posse:

"Make your preparations. At whatever moment Constable Bassett exclaims, "Let's ride," the shielding spell will activate. From that moment, for an hour and a half, you will be completely invisible and inaudible to all evildoers. Quadmor Bassett, you can wait for up to three hours to awaken the spell. But you must swing farther west. DO NOT come straight down upon Oxhide Spring from the north, because a troop of Bloody Diggers may emerge from the soil on that side at any time. The traitor Lord Prendok of Mifdola has persuaded the Digger goblins to form an alliance with Black-Thumb Stedriff.

"Help is on its way to you also, by air. The Loi-Jeltua airship Gogutai Canyon, just lately joined by the Loi-Bavrid airship Vine Harvester, is enroute to Gahurr. The Mellow Druids led by Armolas Greenbranch are contributing some highly plotline-convenient magic to get those airships to you much faster than would normally be possible."
 
SOUTH OF OXHIDE SPRING :

Before leaving Elsitobrek with a caravan transporting Bibles and other cargo, Jutmeddu Bishtal of N'Dazpor had hired five guards who came recommended by the Long Quest churchwoman Reeblin Dessdorp. When Mukuma, her son Gatmorbek and the younger women overtook Madam Bishtal, all the acquaintance-making and information-sharing went smoothly, because don't bog down the narrative. Already having trusted business friends along the way north, Jutmeddu was able not only to unload her merchandise, but also to put her own purchases on hold, to be picked up when returning south after all the adventure stuff was concluded.

At one point, having some inkling of what had occurred in Upper Wenzeppu, Jutmeddu asked whether the caravan guards knew anything about it. One guard, a rifleman called Spaldesh, replied:

"In the course of our security business, we've become acquainted with a liquor maker named Harboskin, whose products are possibly the most UN-wholesome beverages ever made for human consumption. It's been reported-- by former employees of his-- that Harboskin regards winemakers as his enemies, because what they produce is so much LESS harmful than his liquor. It has also been reported, by enforcers of law, that Harboskin is friendly with the outlaw Black-Thumb Stedriff."

"Sounds like an important piece of story exposition," said Gatmorbek. "It provides a motive on the villains' part."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
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TWO DAYS EARLIER, ABOARD THE LOI-BAVRID AIRSHIP "VINE HARVESTER," WESTBOUND:

Crossing over Valtork, Pilot Faodri Shim kept assuring her passengers that she had found the most favorable winds to help them along toward a rendezvous with the Loi-Jeltua airship.

"I wish Mister Grath had had more homing ravens to use," muttered Corporal Didima Fernwood of the Felrudean army. "As it is, we know SO LITTLE of what's been happening with his and Sir Ronald's party."

"But thanks to the magic-users on our side, we know enough to proceed with," replied Lieutenant Varney Hocklenter, leader of the infantry squad of which Didima was the second in command.

"I wish I knew what Lester is DOING now," Didima gritted. This prompted the author to start looking through the pages, to see just where he HAD left the rugged war veteran from Tablanor. Meanwhile, Varney Hocklenter quietly said to Mistress Shim, "If Lester Grath survives whatever's going on over there, I expect he'll have someone to take the place of his deceased wife."

Faodri raised an eyebrow. "At his age?"

"Some men age better than others. Grath has kept very fit. And Didima has powerful cause to love him. In the Felruda-Tablanor war, Grath defeated the Corporal's brother in single combat, but then saved him from bleeding to death. Add to this the generous peace terms Tablanor granted to Felruda, and the entire extended Fernwood family will happily welcome Lester Grath into the clan."
 
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OUTSIDE THE MIFDOLAN BORDER, MORE OR LESS "PRESENT" TIME:

The Frantic Druids had worked for whatever number of days is compatible with story chronology, They had created a sort of sleds which would be magically propelled along the new trans-arctic tunnel; and they had magically given uncommon speed and efficiency to those Bloody Diggers who were extending the multi-thousand-mile tunnel. The demi-human laborers would age several years in the course of their work, but they accepted this as a trade-off to gain a grand victory.

In this context, we can assume that the airships crossing ABOVE the Punksteeman Arctic also had magic increasing their travel speed without harm to the airships or to the people on board them. You know, because plug the plot holes. Probably the Mellow Druids lent a hand there.

About fifty Bloody Diggers would ride the magic subway to Gahurr, along with Lord Prendok and his human henchmen. The former were under a powerful geas not to turn against the latter, nor to turn against Black-Thumb's gang; and indeed, the more intelligent goblins understood that it was in their own best interests to stay friendly with SOME surface dwellers.

When all was in readiness, the Frantics on the ground magically communicated with their brethren on the moon. The ones up there would play a vital part in transporting the Diggers' assault force.
 
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Okay, I promise, when we NEXT look at Punksteema, we'll get the BIG shoot-out! But for now.......

DIM JARGON THE BANJOLORIAN, with his wife Tien-Hai and the superhero Black Giraffe, had hopped over to Planet Toofah-Roff, where they picked up two Fuss-powered friends: Bestbaya the teenager-ish niece of Master Yoga-Rug, and the bird-like up-sider Zubdookree. (If Bestbaya was elsewhere, I'll say she had time to return home.) Then they resumed whatever errand it is they were supposed to be pursuing.

I'll have to look it up.
 
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ON SEEDUBB EARTH.....

Batfellow, the Whoosh, and everyone else from Seedubb who had been on Planet Gumwad, along with the former slave woman who had married Kansas state policeman Chip Thursday, had been returned home, with the thanks of House Ashtrayides. These thanks included samples of Dune-copycat technology, to be studied at Spark Laboratories.

Reunited with his wife, Saltina the reformed thief, Brutus "Batfellow" Dwayne instructed Virgil Fixxit to keep the Brutus Wayne android active at the Dwayne Enterprises head office for another two days. Brutus and Saltina were no longer teenagers, but they still had more than enough eagerness to enjoy some together-time IN PRIVATE. Alphonse even resumed his Batfellow disguise, complete with voice-alteration technology, to give a press conference talking about the planets of the Frank Herbert-inspired sub-universe.

Thereafter, Spiderweb-Man and Cyberdork went to Startled City to meet privately with Green Crossbow. The brave archer told them what was known about a new development in Communist China.

"The Beijing regime can't be accused of breaking the agreement Captain Patriot negotiated. The apparent new step in their scientific progress being headed by Lex Loozor and Red Headbone is not showing itself OUTSIDE of China's borders. What ISN'T showing itself is any clear indication of WHAT their latest work is supposed to do."

"Have you tried orbital surveillance?" asked Cyberdork.

"Yes, but no answers. It's hard to quantify results when you don't know what you're looking for."

"Then has Doctor Unusual tried spells of revealing?" asked Spiderweb-Man.

"He has. But perhaps you recall that technology can interfere with magic, if the technology can make unexpected changes in the material- world conditions toward which the magic is directed. Our enemies know this, and have ways to confuse the spiritual atmosphere. So Unusual can't figure out what piece of science was most lately being developed by Headbone and Loozor." Green Crossbow paused. "But Unusual did pick up one significant thing: he says he's certain that at least one person connected with Chinese weapons development has died very recently."

"Is anyone doing anything in particular about it?"
 
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Irish North, reporter girlfriend to The Whoosh, was part of doing something. There was a Chinese consulate in Generic Large City (Seedubb's counterpart of Chicago), and she had made an appointment to see Vice-Consul Min Pai-Shao. Vice-Consul Min was a petite woman, but hard-faced and hard-eyed. She did not shake hands with Irish.

"You will now state your business, capitalist girl, and be quick about it."

Irish smiled. "Speaking of being quick--"

At this instant, her boyfriend phased through the wall of the office, and laid an armload of machine pistols, similar to Uzis, on Min's desk. His matter-phasing power had even been able to pass the guns through the intact wall, and they resumed their normal state as he set them down.

"You might want to assure your guards that you won't blame them for losing their weapons; they're only now beginning to realize that the guns were taken from them. Just a little reminder that we expect you to demonstrate as much courtesy on our soil as our diplomats practice on your soil. Miss North, you may go ahead with your meeting;" and he was gone.

The custodial staff soon saw that numerous framed pictures had been removed from walls, to be set down undamaged on the floor.

Min Pai-Shao had a good poker face. Not by accident had Beijing chosen her to help run a consulate in a city much frequented by metahumans. "Yes, I have kept up with your country's propaganda networks. I know that some of your heroes, including Teen Tryouts, just lately came home from interfering with another planet."

Irish kept her own cool equally well. "As you often SAY about your government's actions, Mister Whoosh and those with him were in fact on Planet Gumwad with the consent of the locals. But that is not my concern today. My concern is that, on the last three dates when would-be emigrants were expected to present themselves at the designated seaport, NOT ONE showed up."

The temperature of the Vice-Consul's face dropped still further. "Does it affront you to be reminded that members of the working class are PLEASED to remain in The People's Republic?"

"It affronts me to know that YOU ARE STOPPING Chinese people from leaving. Is it necessary for me to remind you what Aquaticman and the Queenkraken could at any time do to your shipping? Without killing a single person, they can disable your navy and your merchant marine."

Irish was correct in all she was saying. But she knew nothing about any deaths occurring at a secret ordnance-creation site. Her being sent here, albeit valid business in itself, was above all a piece of misdirection, preventing the Communists from guessing that Spark Labs and the associated heroes knew something else was up.
 
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