Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

The Whoosh, meanwhile, had consulted with the staff at Spark Laboratories. They were able to give him important facts about two superheroes who had made their mark on Seedubb in a past generation: The Silhouette, who could hypnotize people and become invisible; and The Particle, who could fly around in his micro-shrunk form. Captain Patriot had known them in his pre-freezing life. Both of these men had lived to die of natural causes, in fact had passed away at ripe old ages less than twenty years before Whoosh's birth. The technicians provided the exact times and places of their passing.

The laboratory created non-living copies of these men's aged bodies. The idea was that, if no one in the previous century KNEW that anything had changed concerning Silhouette and Particle, Seedubb's timeline would not be disrupted. So the Whoosh went back in time, to moments that were shortly before each hero's death, had brought the body-copies with him, and had carried the not-yet-dead heroes to the 21st century.

A combination of magic from Doctor Unusual, and scientific organ-restoration, gave both men a new lease on life. The scientific part was greatly helped by the Snarkonnen Lazytaxie Face Twisters who had joined the side of good.

The revived heroes needed more than a week to absorb an understanding of the new century. Captain Patriot, whom they both remembered, spent many hours filling them in on the changes in the world. Once they were adequately oriented, both veteran metahumans were more than willing to get back into the game. The plan was to keep ALL known Seedubb superheroes visibly active in the West or out at sea, so that the Communist Chinese would never suspect ADDITIONAL heroes-- heroes who were all about stealth-- infiltrating China.

Silhouette hypnotized himself and Particle to be able to learn Mandarin Chinese rapidly. AsaLion willing, they would manage to find out what covered-up major event had occurred in the People's Republic. Before going, of course, they would be briefed on what the newer heroes knew about the Loozor-Headbone team working in China.
 
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Four days after the previous paragraph :

The Queenkraken provided a diversion by showing herself at the edge of Chinese territorial waters. She harmed no one and nothing while "showing the flag" for Tatlantis, but she looked scary and held people's attention. High-ranking C.C.P. officials were smart enough to realize that this display could be intended to let infiltrators enter China unnoticed.

Three days after THAT :

Doctor Unusual and Aquaticman were smart enough to LET Beijing's tacticians look for the real incursion and finally decide it was a false alarm. Once this had happened, Aquaticman swam up a river, passing by underwater motion sensors which Doctor Unusual had magicked to see nothing out of the ordinary. Beef Boy, in his merman form, was with the ocean king, helping him to tow a watertight capsule with the re-invigorated elder heroes inside.

When placed on land at the nearest possible point to the Loozor-Headbone secret research center, The Silhouette walked inland invisibly, with The Particle riding inside his right ear. Once near the installation, Particle flew to AND THROUGH the wall of the main research building, to check every room. Silhouette, still invisible, waited for Particle to return with his findings.

"There's no sign of the persons of interest. Looks like you WILL have to start hypnotizing people, to make them tell you something."
 
In the sub-universe where Star Wars blends with Babylon Five:

Hakstabkyll the disgruntled Mintcandybarri warrior was continuing to accrue potential allies on Planet Riggblit. Since the last post involving Riggblit, an unfamiliar (to a Mintcandybarri) ship had come here. It belonged to some of the hairy, roughly-humanoid Barnsmell, the ones based on the Darhel in John Ringo's novels. Like Mister Ringo's fox-faced brutes, the Barnsmell were profoundly selfish, treacherous and cruel; in fact, morally speaking, they made Hakstabkyll seem like Sir Galahad. When first welcoming them, the Mintcandybarri soldier had made sure to keep superior firepower trained on them.

But an accommodation had soon been reached. The ship which brought the Barnsmell had been crewed by some of the smart, lovable Pindowny (derived from the same sci-fi series), as the Barnsmell considered it below their dignity to perform any honest work. Immediately after landing, the evil bipeds had devoured the last of their slaves-- and henceforth could not fly their own ship again with any assurance of safety.

But Hakstabkyll and many of his people _were_ capable of crewing that ship, given some time to learn about its workings. Between this, and being vastly outnumbered, the Barnsmell had submitted to Hakstabkyll's authority. Now they were conferring frequently about the best ways to enlist additional evil beings, for an eventual war against goodness in general.

As the present scene opens, Hakstabkyll is accompanied by one of the oddest of all his followers, a small female whatever named Pleebodeebee. She had a broad lower body, which walked around on two very broad feet that gave her good balance. Her middle body was like a large snake's body, coiled to rest on the platform of her lower body. If uncoiled, this elongated thorax could lift her upper body --that is, chest, arms and head-- more than four meters above her lower body.

She was useful for low-tech surveillance. Right now, on a tract of land which the diverse new semi-army had not yet used, she was at maximum height, looking over some open spaces where permanent lodging might be constructed for the Barnsmell.
 
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At a G-rated superficial glance, female Barnsmell were hard to distinguish from the males-- visually. But anyone with a sense of smell could identify the females by their odor-- which was pleasing to male Barnsmell, but loathsome to most other beings.

One Barnsmell female called Ludgreck asked Hakstabkyll to tell her more about our story's version of the Jedi. Having great self-discipline, the Mintcandybarri man ignored her stench and replied obligingly. As he spoke, he put on a confident, scholarly manner, as if he himself had known about Fuss users for _longer_ than a year or so.

"They can be of almost any sapient race, but they are so stupid as to reject the axiom that might makes right. As a result, they have historically burdened themselves with naive, unrealistic leaders like Plow Korn and Quite-A-Guy Jim. They almost never use area-effect weapons, or even guns, relying instead on the energy blades generated by their minds through the aid of their Fuss rings. With these, they can usually deflect anything coming at them in a narrow, straight line, like a laser beam or a flat-trajectory projectile. Only the best of them, like the human Groan Starr of whom I have only heard a little, can perform energy-based attack and defense _without_ a Fuss ring.

"But I speak of narrow lines because most Fuss wielders are powerless to fend off a wide-area threat. For instance, I know that the human up-sider Moose Windchime once was attacked with a flamethrower, and all he could do to save himself was leap away from the flames. Which is why I am having skilled workers among our people try to construct efficient flamethrowers.

"As for defense against airborne or orbiting units, we will want to start building copies of your own shipboard weapons."

Ludgreck nodded. "You will not be disappointed in the quality of what the Pindowny built for us."

"Yes, I do know that few races can rival the Pindowny for design and manufacture of sophisticated hardware. For this reason, if we ever capture any _more_ Pindowny, I must insist that you _don't_ butcher them for supper."

An instant later, Pleebodeebee shouted a warning to her leader. A furious male Barnsmell named Shroshu, unwilling to be told whom he was allowed to eat, was charging the Mintcandybarri from behind, as quietly as he could, meaning to kill Hakstabkyll with a bite through the neck. Warned by his hench-being, Hakstabkyll easily sidestepped the charge, and soon shattered Shroshu's skull with his telescoping combat rod.

"Anyone _else_ want to challenge my reasonable restrictions?"

There were no takers. The Barnsmell could see that Hakstabkyll was very nearly as strong as one of them, and much more skillful.
 
Thousands of miles away, at the far end of a railway line built by personnel of the Empire of Evil Badness before Emperor Porkanbeen died, two intelligent insect-like beings were watching the night sky through a simple but powerful optical telescope. These were Jek-Fibdak and his mate Midra-Jekfal. They were of the same species as Green Flashlight Zaz-Chispa who has been seen on Jersey Earth; and I repeat, the females of that species _never_ kill and eat their mates.

Some twenty minutes into her latest shift on the telescope, Midra clattered: "Husband! Have a look! Does this look like spacecraft activity to you?"

They had a sort of telegraph set at their disposal. Once Jek agreed that there _were_ spaceships out there, they sent a report of their sighting.

* * * * * * * * * *

On board their ship, Nonsmoka Tiptoe of the Tugboata race was telling Samladel Fripp of the Tryyurluck race some things about the Bubblewrap Five sub-reality. "In that sub-universe, marriage and family-building between humans and near-humans like us are a little more common than in our sub-reality. Woodrow and Yessa Ackerman's happy marriage is an encouraging example, as is the marriage of Bruce and Deelyte Loxbagel."

The yellow-skinned younger woman asked, "Are _you_ contemplating such a marriage for yourself?"

Nonsmoka smiled. "As a matter of fact, if Master Windchime and Only-One Kanoli weren't already taken, I might have given one of them some serious thought. But I would never try to _steal_ another woman's man; and in this narrative setting, Duke Spacewalker is much too young for me. Anyway, I'm pretty much career-oriented for the near future."

Before Samladel could say any more, a plotline-convenient psychic message from the great Yoga-Rug reached the two women.

"Ladies, I'm afraid that you are detected. The un-friendlies on Riggblit will soon determine what model your ship is. They don't currently have the capability to _shoot_ at you this far out; but now you can expect any landing to be opposed."
 
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To move this arc still further forward, someone else contacted by Master Yoga-Rug soon got in comms with Moose Windchime on board the Adjustment: Twishdok, the Green Flashlight who resembled a velociraptor. Modulating his thoughts via the frigate's subspace-radio console, he told Moose:

"Yoga-Rug of Toofah-Roff has made me aware of your situation. You wish to root out evil from a strategically valuable planet, but many of the diverse beings gathered there _aren't_ at all evil, merely under a rather bad influence. I'm your quasi-dinosaur for this task! I was recently one of a task force of Green Flashlights who were needed to remedy a planetwide crisis on one of the less-advanced Earth-variants. Members of the Heart Sapphire Sisterhood were meddling there, not _intending_ any evil at all; they merely failed to realize that the Earth in question did not have the infrastructural resilience to survive their disrupting of the established order. Some native lives were lost in the disorder, yet the Sisters really had _meant_ to help humanity.

"Once they understood the scope of their blunder, the Sapphires themselves were painfully embarrassed, and _wanted_ to repair the damage they had done. Thus we Flashlights, and associated persons of power, did not have to injure anyone."

"We'll be grateful for your assistance," Moose Windchime assured the reptiloid. "In this case, there _are_ beings involved who can justifiably be called evil; but they are inseparably mixed with beings who have not done anything wicked. Precisely a desire to avoid harming the innocent makes it necessary for us to have _enough_ power on our side that we can afford to pull our punches. Is there any chance you can summon at least one _more_ Flashlight Corps member for this operation?"

"I'm confident that I can do so by the time the next installment of our story-arc begins."
 
TIME TO IMAGINE SOME SPAGHETTI-WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING!

Constable Bassett shouted, "Let's ride!"

As Rizlaya Tohir had said, this began the temporary magical cloaking. The mixed posse set out southward, as fast as the slowest among them could manage. (That would be Monica the vineyard manager in her cart.) As instructed, they were keeping well clear of the area where the Bloody Diggers were expected to emerge. Punksteema's moon was now visible to the west of them. (Remember: this moon orbits so low and swiftly, that planetary rotation DOESN'T create an illusion of the moon traveling from east to west.)

Half an hour along, Sir Ronald came alongside Quadmor Bassett.

"With hostile magic potentially eroding our cover, it may not last as long as we could wish. But it has already lasted long ENOUGH, that some of us reappearing should be enough to compel attention. Then even if our concealment fails, those of us who became visible first will draw all eyes."

All of the Towerman's apprentices wanted to accompany him. Ronald looked at Quadmor and Klemrath.

"You lads being with me would in fact look more convincing. But I need at least Klemrath along too; he wouldn't leave Diego unwatched."

"Also," D'Kovo Pril put in, "since this detachment isn't trying to stay hidden anymore, we might as well have the slowest movers with us."

Ronald tipped his cowboy hat to the young Loi-Hukshem archer. "Good thinking! So Monica will be with us, in the center where we can somewhat shield her. The other slowest would be Big Orlepsoth; being so heavy himself, he chose his mount for endurance more than speed."

"Where Orly goes, I go," declared Vislaret. "And you need another person with a repeating weapon."

This left Quadmor Bassett, Connor McLucas, the Javelin Sisters, and Roy Crinkly to hurry onward under magical concealment. They were now the smaller of two contingents, but they had good firepower. (And the stealth might give Nishri and Feshri their best chance of using their spears to good effect.) It was these five who kept more to the west. Those with Ronald understood that they were passing closer to where the goblin force was likely to surface; the Towerman therefore called periodic pauses in order to listen to the earth.
 
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Some hours before the previous post, the two airships enroute to reinforce the good guys made a pit stop in Upper Wenzeppu: both to replenish assorted supplies, and so everybody could go to the restroom. The mystic lady known as the Path-Chooser or something like that, had foresightedly fetched Lester Grath, and Burzu Yunsh of Heskadug, to join the travelers. She let everybody know about the crooked liquor merchant who was behind the poisoning of wine.

As soon as Didima Fernwood saw Lester Grath-- about whose safety she had been worrying-- she politely shook hands with him.

Or something. Anyway, the noble-hearted war veteran was visibly smiling after the, um, handshake. And her nephew Talusek Fernwood, the young swordsman, was happy and hopeful for his relatively-young aunt.

Lester boarded the Vine Harvester, while Burzu Yunsh boarded the Gogutai Canyon. Once aloft, the magic of the Mellow Druids got them flying at high speed again. They all could see that the moon was less than half an hour away from being directly above the longitude of the land of Gahurr.

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
 
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On the outskirts of Oxhide Spring, Black-Thumb Stedriff sat his horse beside another mounted brigand, known in the brigand business as Deadly Do-Wrong. They, and another three dozen mounted scoundrels, beheld a signal. One of their comrades, who could use a bow, shot a flaming arrow straight up. The angle at which the signal-archer shot was itself a signal.

Stedriff looked at Deadly. "Woodchip says that our enemies, any who aren't somehow hidden, are coming down from the north by northwest. You hold the left edge." Turning to his right: "Five of you ride straight east for a mile, in case anyone's flanking us on that side. If you haven't found any sign by the time shooting starts over here, come back our way, but still keep an eye to the east."

"The moon's almost in place for the Frantic Druids to boost the goblins our way," observed Deadly Do-Wrong.

"We'll stick with present plans unless the Frantics fumble their end," Black-Thumb told him. "One caracole charge against the lawmen to get their attention. You men carrying single-shot firearms, just shoot once on that sweep, and let the repeating guns cover you. The goblins SHOULD know to emerge after that. When the other side is engaged with the goblins, we shoot into them from their left, so we DON'T hit our ugly but useful allies."

A caracole is a skirmishing maneuver by gun-armed cavalry, circling close to the enemy to shoot one volley, then curving away. When Stedriff's men caracoled against Sir Ronald's party, one slew Talusek's horse, one wounded the archer D'Kovo Pril; another wounded the riflewoman Vislaret, and another wounded Orlepsoth. But in the same exchange, Klemrath and Diego each wounded one of the outlaws. Ronald slew six men outright with his magnum revolvers. And Orlepsoth, holding his gastrophract firmly despite his injury, loosed one of his massive arrows.....

This missile pierced all the way through an opposing gunman, trailing gore as it emerged; punched through another outlaw, same effect; and wounded a third bad guy in the leg at the end of its trajectory. This rather diminished the outlaws' confidence.

Unlike his friends, Black-Thumb refused to be dismayed. Shouldering a rifle, he fired three times. One bullet grazed Ronald's right side, not causing much damage; one struck nothing; and the third wounded Monica Teller. Enraged as if by a personal insult, the businesswoman staggered forward, determined to get off ONE crossbow shot at least. Her arrow disabled Black-Thumb's horse; then she sank to the ground, sensibly applying direct pressure to her own wound. A moment later, the dismounted Talusek ran to her aid and stopped the bleeding.

Black-Thumb climbed onto a now-riderless horse, and led a retreat. No one on the evil side was actually panicking, but none of them had any objection to Bloody Diggers being the ones to suffer casualties after this.

And moments later, the moon being in place for the requisite magic.... more than fifty Diggers rose out of the ground behind the good guys.

 
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Having inflicted losses on his human foes, the gunslinger-knight faced about to serve the same to the goblins.

Many days ago, the equivalent of more than ten months on Earth, Ronald's arbalest (next most powerful crossbow type to the gastrophract) had been blessed by the God-serving good spirits watching over the south continent. Ronald was strong enough to crank up the weapon repeatedly unassisted; but for the sake of haste in combat, the spirits had made it so the arbalest would instantly reset itself with one easy tug.

AN INSERT, MONTHS LATER IN REAL TIME : (In the course of reviewing, I find that I forgot where Talusek's Aunt Didima gave him a .36 caliber revolver to use. The easiest fix is a small retcon: prior to this battle, Talusek used up the revolver's ammo on target practice. This was not a pointless waste, but the rare caliber made it problematic trying to obtain replacement bullets. Hence his now having only the side-by-side muzzle-loader.)

Now, accordingly, Ronald shot all five of his bolts inside of one minute: War, Famine, Plague, Death and Luck. Every one of them slew or crippled a Bloody Digger. From the corner of one eye, he saw Talusek bringing his borrowed two-shot pistol to bear on members of Black-Thumb's gang. This long pistol was the one with rifled barrels. All right, enough of my followers are still keeping the human outlaws at bay.... Dropping the arbalest, Ronald fired the bullets currently remaining in his cylinders, then switched in fresh cylinders as he purposely placed himself nearest of all his party to the advancing Diggers. If I die, so long as even one of my boys lives on, the Order of Edgar Pallendin will continue.

Polarboy the saddle-buck was there too, spilling subhuman blood with his hoofs and antlers. Between what Ronald had shot so far, and his current revolver loads, he and Polarboy soon had felled about half of all the goblins visible above ground, though the saddle-buck was wounded in one side. Holstering his guns once empty again, the Towerman brought forth his axe and poniard. Orlepsoth, his own injury bound up, lurched up to join Ronald with sword in hand. Apprentice Ilya Trostel shot down the nearest goblin to his master, then took up his own axe, followed by Otto Kergoff with his knife AND his kung fu-like skills.

Orlepsoth's blade severed a Bloody Digger's head; Ronald's axe did the same to another. Ilya leaned aside from the stroke of a goblin war hammer, then broke that enemy's collarbone. Otto shoulder-rolled beneath a horizontal swipe, and his knife opened this Digger's right femoral artery. Seeing the man she loved in danger, Vislaret scrambled to where no friendlies would be in her line of fire, then shot four more of the evil creatures in the head.
 
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Villains don't always get what they deserve in a perfect movie showdown.

Quadmor Bassett's party, emerging from its cloaking, charged at the outlaws' left flank. The outlaws' first intimation of this was when a heavy-caliber bullet, fired by Roy Crinkly from about a kilometer away, disintegrated Black-Thumb Stedriff's head. Regardless of who executed this bit of justice, it came none too soon for Sir Ronald's party, who now could give all their attention to the goblins as the human outlaws turned to face the new threat. Even as they turned, two more were wounded by shots from Connor McLucas.

The numbers of Bloody Diggers were being replenished.

Advancing closer, Quadmor, Connor, Neshri and Fishri found cover from which to shoot at the outlaws. As for the two sisters, they got their chance when three criminals rode toward them; each sister wounded and unhorsed one outlaw with a javelin throw, as Connor shot the third between the eyes. Roy scuttled northward, to where he could pick off some of the Bloody Diggers just emerging from their tunnel.

Trying to encourage the outlaws whose leadership he had just inherited, Deadly Do-Wrong led a charge at the second hero-group..... only to have his head blown off by Quadmor's shotgun, whose second barrel then wounded a rank-and-file desperado. The sisters wounded two other bandits with their derringers, retaining their second javelins in case of close combat. Connor McLucas made the best of his multi-round rifle, firing as fast as he could work the lever. The havoc he inflicted, on top of Do-Wrong's death, filled all the remaining outlaws with sentimental thoughts of their homes: their homes FAR AWAY from Oxhide Spring.

One last bandit, more daring than most, got close enough to shoot Connor through the heart; but Quadmor's now-reloaded shotgun gave the slayer no time to exult in that success. No other human villains had any more thought about anything but fleeing for their lives. And two of these, unwisely fleeing THROUGH the town, were pulled off their horses and beaten to death by the citizens they had formerly terrorized.

Not in cowardice, but because this was how he could do the most good, Roy Crinkly stayed where he was, killing a Bloody Digger with every shot, keeping the overall mob of goblins unsure of where to look. His shooting enabled those with Ronald to gather in something of a formation. Quadmor, Neshri and Fishri moved forward to find another usable fighting position. Quadmor brought along his deceased friend's repeater and bandolier; the sisters helped themselves to revolvers dropped by slain outlaws, each of these handguns having at least two rounds left.

Between shots of his own, Diego pointed out to his companions where those three were, to prevent any friendly-fire tragedies.
 
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Anyone who imagined that the gunslinger-knights were useless without their guns, would have been corrected by the sight of Ronald of Goliad fighting at close quarters. One instant, he stopped a warhammer-blow with the top of his axe-head, then half-beheaded this goblin with his poniard; the next instant, he parried with his poniard, then slew with his axe; in a third instant, he sent a goblin larger than himself toppling backwards with a straight kick; and in a fourth instant, he ducked under another goblin's rush, and let the creature fall in a heap on the other side of him.

Diego made every bullet count, his every shot at least injuring a Bloody Digger. Likewise D'Kovo with his arrows. Talusek with his sword, and Ilya with his axe, made sure that no enemy could get at the younger boys between shots. And Otto did credit to the Song-Fist martial art, flowing among the goblins and slashing with his knife at every opportunity.

"Here come the airships!" Otto suddenly cried, then leaped onto the shoulders of one Bloody Digger to pierce its brain with a stab through one ear. Landing on his feet, he disemboweled one more subhuman monster-- before his own head was shattered by a war hammer.

Otto Kergoff's killer only outlived him by two seconds, falling prey to another of Roy Crinkly's long-range shots. And as Otto had seen, the airships were coming. But a few more seconds later, no one on the ground saw anything. A sun-fierce burst of light seemed to consume Otto Kergoff's body, and blinded all of the Bloody Diggers as it did so. When the humans (and Polarboy) regained their vision, the young hero's corpse was gone, the goblins were still disoriented.... and Ronald beheld a remnant of the same light now gleaming from D'Kovo, Ilya, Talusek and Diego.

D'Kovo had known Ronald the longest of these youths. Looking at his mentor, he exclaimed, "Something passed from Otto to us!" Talusek, the eldest of the four, added: "His martial skill came to us! We all know Song-Fist!"

The Towerman had seen stranger things than this, and accepted it matter-of-factly that Otto would have wanted to pass his techniques to his comrades, and his wish had been granted. "Then capture some of the brutes alive if you can!" But he did not owe it to the Bloody Diggers to spare ALL of the surviving ones. His axe and poniard claimed six goblins within ten seconds: the closest ones besides those whom his apprentices were beating senseless.

But additional Diggers had not ceased to ascend out of the ground; so before landing, the people on the airships directed a hail of bullets, arrows, and crude grenades at the tunnel's broad opening, slaying en0ugh Diggers to block the emergence of the rest for a time. Again, this also prevented friendly-fire casualties.

The four lads, with some help from Orlepsoth, took seven live prisoners before the other goblins regained sight.

Vislaret and Roy still were picking off goblins with rifle fire.
 
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Three women who could shoot were on board Gogutai Canyon. In descending order of their proficiency specifically with long guns, they were Zoralee Jeralo of Gromstark, Heefee-faf-Tujan of Droval, and Lady Dorothy of Malgriff Thanedom in Bamulica. Each of them had been given a musket to join in the first downward volley at the Bloody Diggers. Lieutenant Varlock Patterson of Sagrum Thanedom (close ally to Malgriff) adamantly refused to allow Dorothy to set foot on the ground while a single goblin remained alive and unsubdued. "My lady, I will personally tie you up if you refuse to obey this order, which is as an order from your father the Thane and is seconded by Colonel Zaptrim."

Varlock was equally seconded by the four Malgriff Hussars who were temporarily under his command. Also agreeing with them were Donnie Tonka and Ysidro Lopez, who with Doomrat Billyboy completed the landing party, Heejee also being forbidden to come within reach of the goblins.

Resigning herself to her aristocratic duty NOT to get killed needlessly, Dorothy lent her semi-automatic pistol-- one of the most sophisticated firearms existing on Punksteema-- to Zoralee, whom she had permitted to examine it back in Mifdola. With it she gave a spare magazine.

"Which one down there is Sir Ronald?" Zoralee asked the high lady-- who Zoralee realized also had feelings for the Towerman. And unlike Zoralee, Dorothy knew Ronald by actually having met him, not just by reputation. The lady detective remained uncertain whether Dorothy being the younger of them was a plus or a minus for Dorothy where the forty-plus Ronald was concerned.

The women's eyes exchanged a mutually jealous but not quite hateful glance, as Lady Dorothy answered, "The one fighting with a knife and an axe."
-------------------------
On board Vine Harvester, Varney Hocklenter directed the fire of everyone shooting at the goblins from the Loi-Bavrid airship. He couldn't help noticing that Lester Grath never missed a shot. Even shooting at Bloody Diggers who were within two paces of Sir Ronald, he always hit what he meant to hit, and nothing that he didn't mean to hit.

Hocklenter couldn't help remembering the toll Mister Grath of Tablanor had formerly taken among Felrudean soldiers. But he also remembered that Felruda had been the aggressor in that war. And nobody who knew Didima Fernwood could fail to know that Lester Grath had shown mercy to foes whenever he could show mercy without harming his own side. Moreover, Hocklenter was acquainted with Burzu Yunsh who was also on this airship, and Burzu had nothing but good to say of Lester.
 
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I haven't forgotten Mukuma and her fellow adventurers from N'Dazpor on the southern continent. They and their experienced caravan guards ended up seeing some of the outlaws fleeing south from Oxhide Spring. Recognizing the humiliated criminals from "Wanted" posters, the guards placed them under arrest, soon handing them over to the nearest constable.

Before being jailed, one of the outlaws made a vague reference to the Bloody Diggers. The locals had never heard of Bloody Diggers; but Mukuma had heard of them. "God may be calling on us to help fight those beasts," she told her son the surveyor. She yielded all of the reward for the captured thugs to the caravan guards, and they pressed northward.

= = = = = = = = = = = = =

Touching ground moments before the Vine Harvester, the Bamulican soldiers disembarking from the Gogutai Canyon formed a loose infantry wedge. Donnie, Ysidro and Zoralee filled three spaces in the formation, while Billyboy ventured ahead. Horses being impractical to transport on airships, Lieutenant Hocklenter formed his own squad up with the others. Heejee, meanwhile, had not ceased shooting at the Bloody Diggers. The same was true of Roy Crinkly. Even Orlepsoth had managed to crank his gastrophract one more time, for a shot which impaled two more goblins. And three of the hardier townsmen from rode out with rifles, followed by a wagon which could carry good-guy casualties to the city's two physicians.

All the while, Sir Ronald had kept on fighting, and his remaining apprentices did likewise.: Ronald sustained by his natural stamina and iron will. and the lads by the gift received upon Otto's passing to The Good Place. Talusek, Ilya, D'Kovo and Diego all displayed a fluid physical mobility beyond what the gunslinger had heretofore seen from them. Ronald even found the crossbow quarrel he had named Famine, though all he could do for the moment was to kick it back toward clear ground, in hopes of reclaiming it later.

When he heard the shooting from the airships drop away, Ronald shouted to his own companions: "Shoot now, if you can!"

Vislaret got off three rounds, of which one scored a kill. If I said earlier that Orlepsoth was given a handgun, assume that he now emptied it at the goblins. Quadmor again fired both barrels of his shotgun, Klemrath got one of his muzzle-loading pistols recharged and fired it, the townsmen followed suit, and Roy Crinkly expended his ammo down to three shells-- his emergency reserve. Neshri and Fishri ran down close to Ronald's party, and commenced jabbing at goblins.

Combined, all of this impaired the Bloody Diggers' ability to brace against the charge of the air-dropped volunteers. Billyboy dashed ahead of his sister and the other new arrivals, to inflict serious bites at a run on four of the Diggers. Varlock Patterson, holding a lance as a pike, led the apex of the foot charge. Once his lance was deeply stuck in a Digger's chest, he took to his revolver, and filled his left hand with a long knife.

One Malgriff Hussar, two Felrudeans, and one Loi-Bavrid crewman who had joined the charge with a sword and shield, were killed by goblin warhammers, but these deaths were soon avenged with eleven Bloody Diggers killed or disabled, over and above Lieutenant Patterson's kill. Of those, Donnie Tonka dispatched one with his sword; Lester Grath, conserving ammo, dented a goblin head with his rifle butt; and Zoralee wounded her first Digger with a bullet, then finished it with her short cutlass. Burzu Yunsh didn't immediately slay any goblins, but with his spear he fended off blows from three goblins who attempted an end run around the wedge formation.
 
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The Frantic Druids on the moon observed that their goblin allies were not doing as well as hoped. Losing the advantage of surprise had sorely reduced the Bloody Diggers' effectiveness. The evil magic-users hastily conferred. Should they play their hole card? If yes, it had to be done before the moon moved too far away from the longitude of Oxhide Spring.

What decided the issue was a fact the Frantics perceived which even Ronald of Goliad was not yet sure of. Upon the valiant passing of Otto Kergoff, descendant of Edgar Pallendin, the anointing of Towermen HAD fallen upon D'Kovo, Ilya, Talusek and Diego. Going from one Towerman on Punksteema to FIVE Towermen was not happy news for evildoers. Thus it was decided:

"RELEASE THE ROGBAL!"

This monster from the stony depths had long co-existed with Bloody Diggers, not bothering them because they were not appetizing to it. Lord Prendok had spoken with his Digger friends before about using the Rogbal against Mifdola; but although the monster didn't HATE the Diggers, neither did it see any reason to serve them. The Frantic Druids, however, could command the Rogbal if they focused enough magical power upon it. So, just before the moon bore them too far away to perform a summoning, they issued an order for it to come topside, and slay any biped creature that wasn't a Bloody Digger.

And into the open air it came: eighteen feet tall, at least two tons in weight, standing upright, with four arms like a Hindu statue. Each hand held a flaming scimitar, and the monster's breath was a suffocating smoke.

Unlike many of the humans on the scene, Kring Dakamish of the Gogutai Canyon had heard of the Rogbal. Without hesitation, he had his men detach three propulsion rockets from the ready-rack, and shoot them at the monster. All three rockets hit; they weren't enough to hurt the creature seriously, but did slow it down for a moment.

Outlaws who had been taken alive now fled in panic, their captors too preoccupied to stop them. Lester Grath, Roy Crinkly, Varlock Patterson and others opened fire on the shambling horror. Silver bullets (one of these from Varlock's one-shot-but-quickly-reloaded Sagrum cavalry pistol) which struck the Rogbal did wound it, but not fatally.

So six especially well-prepared heroes advanced against the monster: Sir Ronald, his four surviving disciples-- and huntsman Burzu Yunsh, wielding the spear which was anointed with power against evil.
 
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The remaining Bloody Diggers knew that the Rogbal had no interest in killing them, but they preferred to keep out of its way. This wrought a tidal shift in the battlefield. The only good guys deliberately standing in the titan's way were those just named. A few others, including Lester and Zoralee, hovering ALMOST in the Rogbal's path, wanted to help Ronald, and did get off a few more shots, but were obliged to defend themselves against emboldened goblins. Thus the original battle continued, but in left and right halves, with Towermen and Rogbal in the center.

The commanders of the airships got them aloft in a hurry, rather than be destroyed on the ground. A few airborne shooters kept up their fire against hostiles below. Heejee faf-Tujan, possessing a telescopic gunsight, was first to notice that a fresh mob of Bloody Diggers was coming to the surface in the titan's wake. She accordingly shifted her fire to them. The first hero on the ground to detect the enemy reinforcements was Roy Crinkly. Using the last of his heavy bullets in that direction, he then scavenged the first firearms dropped by outlaws that he could find, and kept slaying goblins in that fresh lot.

Quadmor and Klemrath kept some townspeople together to fight goblins on the west flank, while Ysidro, Donnie, Zoralee and Billyboy became the rallying point on the east flank. As for Ronald, Burzu and the four now-empowered youths, Ronald shot his retrieved arrow called Famine, then started shooting his last few .44 magnum rounds. His lads followed suit with what ammunition, including arrows, they had left. And all of these shots, even the non-silver ones, inflicted damage. Spontaneously, D'Kovo, Ilya, Talusek and Diego recited in unison the Creed of the Towermen:

"The Almighty Creator is my tower of defense, and He shall make me a tower of defense for the innocent. Death holds no terror for me, because my spirit cannot fall out of the hands of God. My bow, my pike, and my sword shall smite the wicked and uphold the righteous. And when my time comes to die, I shall depart in assurance that the world is better for my having passed through it."

A moment later, Ronald found and reused his arrow called War. It drew stinking blood from the monster. Though still far from vanquished, the Rogbal grew hesitant.
 
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Realizing that it needed to take its adversaries seriously did not mean that the incarnate demon couldn't use its wits. Exerting itself in a prodigious leap for its bulk, it swung one of its burning scimitars to strike the Gogutai Canyon's gondola, fracturing it. Two crewmen posted at mid-hull fell to their deaths. Kring Dakamish, also standing close to the break, started to fall, but Lady Dorothy lunged fast enough to catch hold of him. She wasn't strong enough to haul him all the way up to relative safety, but she did keep him from falling until a surviving crewman could join in to lift him.

The gondola was fitted with numerous firm handholds against just such an emergency; thus, no one else fell.

The steersman had begun an evasive turn as soon as he had seen the Rogbal gathering itself to spring. Although the airship's turn rate was too slow to have escaped the smashing blow, it was now moving away from the demon. Vine Harvester was climbing in altitude, while firing every gun on board at the Rogbal.

Nishri and Feshri ran up close to where the Towermen and Burzu were hanging back, waiting for the Loi-Bavrid crew to cease firing. The sisters didn't have to wait to cast their second javelins (Nishri's being the one bearing the late Stedriff's name). They could see the holes where the Rogbal had been pierced by Ronald's crossbow quarrels and it had plucked them out. Nishri aimed for the higher of the two holes, Fishri for the other. Both weapons flew true, sticking fast in the demon's wounds. Ronald uttered the equivalent of "Bravo!" in a commerce-language.

The Rogbal's response was rather less cheerful. Bellowing in pain, it pulled the javelins out with its two lower hands, and threw them back at the women. Ronald swept Nishri bodily out of her javelin's return course; Talusek did the same for Feshri. Unterrified, both sisters retrieved their weapons and cast them again after Ilya had dealt an axe-blow to the titan's right leg.

This time the Rogbal intercepted the javelins in flight with its blades and broke them. Then it went back on the offensive, trying to trample its ground-level foes. Now the anointing granted to the four young Towermen served them well; as new Song-Fist warriors, they moved with a greater agility than their had ever possessed before. Meanwhile, it was long combat experience which kept Ronald uncrushed, as he struck with axe and poniard wherever the monster gave him an opening. The gunslinger-knight proved his long-hardened strength by twice managing angled parries of the flaming scimitars without suffering a broken arm.

Trying to catch these unarmored paladins caused the Rogbal not to notice Burzu's spear coming. Being magical, it pierced the titan's abdomen, came out the small of its back, and fell to earth beyond.

This was the most serious damage the foul thing had yet suffered. Dropping to hands AND hands and knees, it blew bitter smoke out of its mouth, to block its enemies' eyesight. Out of the smoke, a crushing, crashing, crunching noise was heard, like four giant shovels digging together. Better able to see from where he was, Donnie Tonka shouted, "It's burrowing!"

Ronald had guessed as much, and with a deep breath taken, he sprinted straight into the smoke. The Rogbal had already dug a deep enough pit to contain most of the three-dimensional volume of its body, and it presumably knew which direction to dig farther to reach the nearest natural tunnel. Not daring to slow down, lest suffocation make his charge a wasted effort, Ronald bounded onto the creature's back, delivered an overhead swing with all his might..... and was thrown away, losing hold of his axe which was embedded in some part of the Rogbal.

The mighty WHUMP of his landing was accompanied by the agony of a broken left arm.

But, as others were able to see before Sir Ronald knew it, the Rogbal was dead, its hideous head cracked open. The substance of its brain proved to be like molten lava, and it melted the axe-head which had split it; but as Towermen didn't need magic weapons, this axe had been a plain old non-magic axe. It could be replaced.

A scattering of Bloody Diggers in the vicinity still were neither dead nor captured. These either fled underground, or, having seen that the humans could be merciful, surrendered.
 
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Both airships managed to land without further casualties. Lester Grath joined some of the airmen in cannibalizing lines from the Gogutai Canyon, as ropes to tie up the subhuman prisoners. Donnie Tonka was the first person to reach Ronald's side, and proved that his talents extended to setting and immobilizing a fractured arm.

Zoralee Jeralo, to give her credit, had been in the fighting. Together, she and her animalized brother had slain or captured seven Bloody Diggers. Lady Dorothy Malgriff had been helping to render first aid to friendly casualties. It chanced, then, that the blonde noblewoman and the dark-skinned private investigator came at the same instant to where Sir Ronald was being looked after by Donnie. Dorothy and Zoralee looked at each other, looked at Ronald, looked at each other again-- and saw nothing to be gained by disliking each other.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Around sunset of that day, Mukuma, Florence, Abigail, Gatmorbek, and their caravan entered Oxhide Springs. Abigail and Gatmorbek were now betrothed. They were too late to help in the battle, but just in time to provide medical supplies. They had brought a generous quantity of a plotline-convenient ointment to prevent infection in burns and wounds, which they gave to the town and its defenders free of charge.

Gatmorbek's experience at surveying made him useful for a significant secondary piece of business: choosing a site for a temporary prison camp. It was gradually made clear to the captured Bloody Diggers that, after ten days of hard labor at whatever was required (potentially to include rebuilding Gogutai Canyon's gondola), if they behaved themselves that whole time, they would be returned to their underground world through the still-open attack tunnel. When this was done, that opening would be reclosed.

Quadmor Bassett stipulated one more condition. "Let a white X be painted on each one's forehead. If the same goblins ever appear in our land again bearing weapons, they are to be shot dead on sight. The same ones could be sent, unarmed, to open peace talks, in which case they'll be given a fair chance to demonstrate their good faith."

Ronald of Goliad, what with his broken arm, excused himself from trying to help manage this business. Dorothy, Zoralee and the Javelin Sisters all appointed themselves to attend to the veteran gunslinger's needs. Each of these women was decent enough NOT to be angry at the others; they gradually worked out a rotation of who did what for their hero. For sure, this included laundering his clothes, which had not been washed in many days.

Burzu Yunsh, Varlock Patterson and Didima Fernwood did most of the talking and information-sharing with Mukuma's party. Didima, however, made time also to hover around Lester Grath.
 
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ON PLANET ANOXIA:

After Bowstring was buried with military honors, the King and Queen of Alwaysurnia, parents to Mighty Male Andy and She-Wow Advila, were brought over from Castle Greyhair by Sorcery Lass to witness their daughter's coronation as Queen of Anoxia, performed by Dragon Equivvalentor. No one expected Equivvalentor to TAKE ORDERS FROM She-Wow, but he intended to give her a free hand in almost everything.

Other dignitaries attending the coronation included Green Flashlights Indabog, Lucy Luminous and Shimtuku (the last being the cricket-shaped one); Chief Lefturklyde of the talking-orangutan tribe; Gramtolis, leader of the skillful Troozers who had improved the defenses of Castle Klipnayle; and of course, Bakerstray Bill of Jumpstard in "the third galaxy."

After the ceremony, Green Flashlight Instructor Indabog met with the King and Queen of Alwaysurnia, joined by Sorcery Lass, for a preliminary discussion of possibly letting good-aligned sapients from the two cartoon-derived planets travel to Planet Wawa and be taught by the Janitors of the Universe. Sorcery Lass observed that Alwaysurnia and Anoxia both hosted blends of magic and science, though magic was emphasized on the former planet and science on the latter. And the Flashlight artifacts WERE a combination of magic and science.

The first volunteer for this project was a surprise to many: Bowsaw, the brother of the deceased archer.

"I am not ashamed of being a construction worker, but others can carry that labor forward for me. I wish to guard against evil as Bowstring did. Please allow me to apply for Wawa's cadet program."

Shimtuku waved his antennae toward Bowsaw, then spoke: "It is my belief that Master Katmatao, and Indabog here, will find you fully suitable."
 
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Sorcery Lass presided over the wedding of Battery-Cat and Katlittura. She made a promise to the couple: "You, Battery-Cat, will be able once each Alwaysurnian year to become a man for three days. And your children will be able, at more frequent intervals, to become human also for short periods. This will enable your family, especially the wife and mother who still can change at will, to interact more easily with regular humans and near-humans."

Shimtuku, joined by a red-skinned frog-like Green Flashlight named Plabdof, soon took off with Bowsaw, to present him to their leaders on Wawa. Bakerstray Bill promised to return to the Filmation-derived sub-reality someday; then he returned home via the Jumpstardean counterpart of Bifrost in Scandinavian mythology. Several of the Spacer Swimmers dropped by just in time to talk with Bill before he left; afterwards, they began helping the Troozers to repair damage in various places.

The royal parents of Andy and Advila would be staying for a time on Anoxia, to coach the new Queen She-Wow in the nuts and bolts of heading a peacetime government. As the others were preparing to return, Mighty Male had a talk with Dolph and Subsoila Bluntgrin, about the matter of Joketeller, who still was on the loose back on Alwaysurnia. "Since I'll be Regent until Father comes back, I'm asking you to head further efforts to trap this disappearing magical thief. He hasn't killed anyone that we know of; but if any future outside enemy-- like more of the Snarkonnens-- tries invading Alwaysurnia, a master thief on the ground might be of great assistance to that enemy force."

Subsoila smiled confidently. "If he has an underground hideout, I'll find it sooner or later."
 
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