Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

On Mediumgard Earth, Roger Tree Root from Jersey Earth had continued coming up with new spells for himself to cast. When word reached him about the demented girl Azula in Portugal, he tried magically teleporting himself to join Eyesight in Lisbon. The timing was such that when he arrived at the police station which had processed Azula, it was eight minutes before midnight there, and he still had one enchantment remaining for today. So, introducing himself, he made up a spell for himself to be able to receive normal sleep benefit in ten minutes. A cot was found for him; he slept for eleven minutes, woke up refreshed, and had his magic reloaded.

Eyesight related to Roger the available details in Azula's case. The Algonquin tribesman proceeded to expend his daily "ammunition" all at once.
"Let the girl Azula cease to feel any desire to possess unearned supernatural advantages at the expense of innocent people. All right, I believe I'm sensing that it's working." Azula was currently asleep in a psychiatric ward several kilometers away.

"Let me be permanently able to know for sure, even in the absence of immediate proof, whether a spell of mine succeeds..... All right, what I seem to be sensing is that she still fantasizes about being a horse-riding princess, but she no longer desires to drink blood."

"All right, try a different subject," suggested Eyesight.

"Hmmm, how about this? I wish to know the present location of the corrupted Buddhist monk I've been told about--URK! That felt like being slapped. I can't make out where he is, but I seem to detect that HE knows I just tried to locate him, and he blocked it."

"Maybe an indirect approach? Try wishing to know where Drigum Namdre WAS, twenty-four hours ago."

"All right, I wish for what you said..... The spell seems to be telling me that the monk was in Rhode Island, heading toward New York."
 
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Crimson Witch was in Tahiti at the moment; she had flown there by airliner with Hornette, since she couldn't exactly teleport herself. The two superheroines had gone to the tourist-magnet island because the Heflins had been there long enough to lecture both tourists and citizens about fair distribution and social justice.

When Eyesight mentally reported to his wife what he and Mister Tree Root had been doing, Crimson told him, "Mister Hackman, the fellow in Kansas who received Fuss powers, is with Lowerkey; they can get Bridgekeeper Timekall to transport them to the area Drigum Namdre might be bound for. I'll contact those two and see if they can try to intercept the Tibetan twerp."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Magic-lifted to the city of Hartford, Oliver Hackman and the good-aligned Loki-variant met with top leadership of the Connecticut State Police. These officials, who were familiar with all the Revengists and knew about Lowerkey, promised assistance. Oliver and Lowerkey rode in two police helicopters, crisscrossing the state, while both heroes used their special intuitive gifts to search for traces of Drigum. His experience using The Fuss being short, Oliver only knew he had sensed SOMETHING when they drew near to Manchester.

"Pilot, see that shopping center? Please land as close to there as you safely can! And request city police to surround the area."

Two squad cars responded, anyway, taking positions west and east of the shopping center. As soon as Oliver's feet hit pavement, he trotted in the direction that The Fuss appeared to be urging him to go. Behind a shopping-cart parking rack, a boy maybe thirteen years old was grasping a smaller boy who had been knocked unconscious. The larger boy was just about to bite the smaller one's neck.

Almost going down-side in his outrage, Oliver levitated the vampirized boy straight up, then dropped him to the asphalt from five yards up. The vampirizing effect definitely strengthened its captives; the boy got right up again and sprang fiercely at Oliver, though his teeth had not become fangs. Being fitted with a Fuss ring, Oliver almost formed a lightsaber-- which could have cut this boy in half as easily as cutting a normal person; but he remembered this still was a human being. So he switched to a variant of the Fuss choke, pinning the minor vampire flat on the pavement.

"What are you doing to this boy?" demanded one of the municipal cops.

"I'm stopping him from drinking THAT boy's blood."
 
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NOTE: Your author has been in some confusion, trying to recall whether any boys native to Mediumgard were turning into "Cosmic Fact Checkers." Just now, though, I found where I had indeed said there were locally-produced C.F.C.'s. Thus, any place in this plot thread which says there AREN'T local conversions, is in error. Or maybe a character saying so, is in error. And remember that the vampiric change is a separate thing from the ear-plugging gems.

A fourth young bloodsucker had turned up, and been captured, in western China. The Jumpstardean speedster Speedy Greyhoundus had easily overtaken the motor scooter the crazed girl was trying to escape on, then called Timekall to send someone for pickup. The Party didn't want to admit that anyone in the Workers' Paradise could be so alarmingly transformed; so they were glad to let the girl named Pang-Fu be taken in hand by Lady Sniff, the wife of Thunder-Master Thorpe. Carried off to Wonkabara, Pang-Fu joined Freddy from the Xhosa tribe of Africa, Azula the Portuguese girl, and the boy just captured by Oliver Hackman who was named Vick. The fourth kid, formally booked by the police of Manchester, Connecticut, then was taken to Wonkabara by Lowerkey. Vick's parents were given an online-portal address by which they could receive word on how soon it would become safe to release the boy.

Speedy Greyhoundus, meanwhile, searched the rest of China, not finding any new bloodsuckers at present.

Some sturdy Wonkabaran men were stationed at Princess Shurthingy's laboratory, available to restrain the deranged children any time those children imagined that they actually could slaughter powerful adults. Lowerkey asked Shurthingy about her progress.

"There is one indicator measurable by science, which is common to all four children. Look at this electro-encephalograph display. The kids all display what looks like a combination of enjoying a sense of power, and enjoying a sense of moral superiority."

Lowerkey nodded, then asked, "Is your equipment able to identify any brainwave signature which confirms their being affected by magic?"

"Don't I wish! Thanks to the cooperation of Crimson Witch, and just recently of Mister Tree Root, I've been able to classify brainwave patterns associated with DOING magic; but nothing so far which clearly labels a person who's on the receiving end of magic."

"So, are you seeing the way to a cure?"

"Not yet. But your friend Welbymark will be here tomorrow to join my efforts."
 
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The day after next, Colonel America and his wife Bright Window brought in a fifth vampirized child: a teenage girl, rather, the oldest Mediumgarder person yet to be affected by this evil. Her name was Elok; she was sixteen years old, and had studied her own country's martial arts. Masha had actually needed to exert some effort to immobilize this one, and was glad enough to let Steve hold Elok powerless in his grasp while they arranged for notification of her parents. In Elok's case, the parents were insistent on being allowed to fly to Wonkabara also, and this was granted.

The presence of the Indonesian parents made a difference. With her father demanding that she tell the researchers anything relevant that she could remember, Elok said: "I fell asleep that night, and seemed to see an exotic woman with an uncovered head, and very tall. She told me that I was better than you, Father and Mother, and that I was worthy to receive special power."

Remembering when she and Bleeder had found Freddy Rubusana, Shurthingy asked, "Did this woman call herself some sort of queen?"

"Yes, she did."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Around this time, at a secure location close to Washington, D.C., President Paden Glumm and others were joined by distinguished visitors from Jersey Earth: Trace Dickey, Commandant of the New Jersey State Police on that Earth-variant; his wife Bess, who had acquired Heart Sapphire powers without falling into the errors of that sisterhood; John Stewmeat, the ranking Green Flashlight of Jersey Earth; and Nolarivu Pamizo-Stewmeat, the deep-blue-skinned long-time Sapphire Sister who had been led out of the errors by her now-husband.

Three of these four having faster-than-light movement powers plus vacuum survival, it had been easy for them to carry Trace along to Mediumgard Earth; and HIS most remarkable new ability would be of special value. He could use The Fuss to compel people to obey his will, and it was extremely difficult for anyone to resist his commands even if warned in advance.

Trace and Bess' children were being looked after by family friend Sharon Rockwell, the lady firefighter who had gained the power to extinguish flames with her mind.

"Thank you so much for coming," said the First Lady of Mediumgard's United States. "How remarkable to meet people from an equally-valid alternate Earth!"

Bess handed a heavy satchel to Mrs. Glumm, who was strong enough to handle it easily. "This, Madame First Lady, is a selection of hardcopy history textbooks from our own Earth. I didn't bring anything electronic, because I have no idea whether your computer systems are compatible with ours."

"A wise plan," remarked President Glumm. "I don't know if they're compatible, either; but we can get additional bound copies made of these books, for use at major universities. Imagine endowing professorial chairs in Alternate Earth Histories! Right now, however, I'm anxious to see what Commandant Dickey can do with your co-planetaries Cosmo Taylor and Sawyer Boyd. Note that the gems were pulled out of the boys' ears, so they WILL hear what you say."
 
HIGH TIME FOR ANOTHER GENERAL SUMMARY.

Here's how I'll do it this time. For each of a series of pages, I'll tell what was going on at the MIDDLE of that page.

Page 6: On "Seedubb Earth," my first parody-version of Harley Quinn, lately converted to goodness, is getting oriented to the good-guy community. At the same time, my versions of the leading characters in Mel Brooks' "Spaceballs" are getting acquainted with the same Earth-variant, in the midst of events involving the recovery of the Anti-Villain Device.

Page 7: On an Earth-variant not very different from Original Earth, various non-violent incidents show "might-have-been" scenarios which don't really affect the story at large-- like imagining if musicians Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn had lived longer.

Page 8: On the Earth-variant calling itself "Terra," I introduce my version of the Blackhawks from DC Comics. On the same page, the Earth-variant calling itself "Urth" is working to achieve interstellar-travel capability, aided by my version of the Justice League.

Page 9: In my loose counterpart of Stephen King's "Dark Tower" universe, I introduce the lady detective Zoralee Jeralo. Also on this page, the monster Mugwumpa, recently converted to goodness, meets characters based on He-Man cartoons.

Page 10: Again on Urth, my version of the villain Atomic Skull, also converted to goodness, is getting readjusted to being around normal people. The same page includes action in my version of the Babylon Five universe.

Page 11: Evil characters based on Mel Brooks' "Spaceballs" get their own opportunity to change into good guys, when they discover a human-colonized world being invaded by giant insectoids derived from the monsters in "Starship Troopers."

Page 12: Plenty of action on Urth, including a character based on "V Is For Vendetta" tracking down a secret evil fraternity called The Boardroom of Owls. Meanwhile, one of my most "regular-guy" heroes, Vigilant Cowboy, finds a former girlfriend who left him trying to win him back.

Page 13: Character interaction in my version of Frank Herbert's Dune universe shows some of my version of "Navigators" being persuaded to serve my version of House Atreides. I also depict an uninhabited planet being colonized by characters based on "Space: 1999."
 
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Skipping forward to Page 18: My second variant of Harley Quinn, also converted to the side of good, is married to my version of Winter Soldier. In the Africa of "Terra," she is involved in detecting an invasion by my version of Skrulls. On the same page, my version of Stephen King's gunslinger-knight is in the land of Tablanor with his first two apprentices.

Page 19: In my serial, my versions of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Poe Dameron are contemporaries. Accompanied by my versions of Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three, they pay a friendly visit to the Earth-variant based on "Starship Troopers." This is very timely, because "Federal Earth" is in peril of being infiltrated by "Face Twisters."

Page 20: On Planet Punksteema ("Dark Tower" derivative), people in the land of Bamulica who know Ronald the Gunslinger decide to mount an expedition to assist Ronald in his mission. On the same page, Thorpe, Sniff and other heroes overpower the "Dune"-derived villains.

Page 21: On "Jersey Earth," a world in short supply of superheroes, my version of classical crimefighter Dick Tracy strives to cope with alien visitors who mean well, but who are clueless. The "Heart Sapphires" are able to provide much for human needs, but prove unable to do ENOUGH when their interference disrupts all commerce and industry.

Page 22: While helping to combat the zombie plague affecting Tablanor and Felruda, Sir Ronald of Goliad acquires new allies, including the war veteran Lester Grath and the good witch Rizlaya Tohir.

Page 23: My version of Dark Helmet in "Spaceballs," with his companions including Perry Kusshun the kettledrummer, is now committed to being a good guy. Settled in on Planet Freesoil, his whole crowd is getting used to a wholesome way of life.
 
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Page 29: On the first Earth-alternate to have been seen in my serial, the Earth with a version of the Teen Titans, Harpy Nickelworth pretends to have left Alphonse and returned to crime; her true intent is to lure crooks into a supposed new gang, in hopes of seeing them converted to goodness as she was. Meanwhile, Bats-Family member Lucius Fixxit looks into an alleged Nazi revival, and finds it to be only an urban myth.

Page 30: On "Terra," my version of Daredevil discovers that pet foods are being tampered with. Trying to figure out why someone would do this, Dreadfuldevil is joined by versions of DC heroes Green Arrow and The Question, plus a mounted police officer named Denise McFogg.

Page 31: The tampering with domestic animals proves to be the work of "the Sly Evolutionary." Also on this page, a good wizard called Hector von Bootblack is shown taking secret actions against evil immortals.

Page 32: Admiral Thuglyfe Skrawn plans to exterminate slaves on Planet Takniss, but various good guys including some based on Thor comics and "Babylon Five" prevent this. Meanwhile, several Green Flashlights continue teaching science to the centaur-like Jinobridons.

Page 33: "Dune"-derived infiltrators are causing discord on my version of Planet Eternia in He-Man stories. A female among these is pretending to be my version of the character Teela.

Page 34: On Punksteema, the Bamulican soldiers looking to find Ronald fight against orc-like sub-humans called Bloody Diggers. Separately from this, the detective Zoralee is on the road with her brother who was changed into a beast. Zoralee also hopes to meet Ronald.
 
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Page 40: On Alwaysurnia, Mighty Male is all in to defeat Skamartistor. He is aided not only by his sister She-Wow, but also by characters based on "Sailor Moon" cartoons. Unlike children's cartoons, my parody of Skeletor actually does get what he deserves.

Page 41: People on Urth learn by fragments that Block Atom has non-violently but firmly taken control of the allied world Senphatori. Preparing for an attempt to liberate Senphatori, the Justified League of Urth finds TWO other human worlds offering help: Seedubb and Earth-Whichever.

Page 42: My versions of Obi-Wan Kenobi, and of Thor's Warriors Three, team up with the Starship Grunts to carry the war to the carnivorous Creepycrawlids. After inflicting a major defeat on the monsters, telepath Earl Pufferton mentally informs the Psionic Bugs that they had better leave humans alone, or they'll suffer still worse.

Page 42: Diskoduck, the cousin of my version of Princess Vespa in "Spaceballs," is serving as Planet Directvideo's ambassador to a world called Cakebun. Having received a highly-unusual super-power from an ancient alien artifact, Diskoduck is finding ways to make it useful.

AND THAT'S ALL THE SUMMARIZING I HAVE TIME TO DO.
 
ON PLANET SPACEBULL, the leader of their parliament, a woman called Lesha Slater, had received plotline-advancing information from Yoga-Rug. The pretty-nearly-all-knowing Fuss master had filled her in on the situation with the Cosmic Federation in the second galaxy. This included the desire of heroes on the scene to learn what had caused the plague of male humans being made stupid. Accordingly, Lesha Slater assigned a space crew to transport a past-event-viewing apparatus.

There was only one Spacebullion captain who had ever personally been to the vicinity of the Red Streak Wormhole. His name was Rip Tellus. During the Bob Snooze administration, Rip had impaired his own career by declining to serve aboard the mega-mothership which would have committed genocide upon Planet Directvideo; but this very fact had earned brownie points for him with Lesha and the other Spacebullion reformers. Once his expedition was organized, the parliament awarded him a promotion to commodore.

Since the formerly-dominant imperialists had put all their military eggs in the basket of the mega-mothership, Rip's vessel the Conciliator possessed no built-in weapon mounts. But it was very swift, and did have strong defensive shields. To provide some ability to shoot back, Spacebullion engineers did what had been done for the Braykpedduli freighters in the Bubblewrap Five sub-reality; they attached missile pods on the outer hull. Conciliator would mount fourteen missiles in all; four-packs top and bottom, and three-packs port and starboard. The side pods were aligned to fire toward the rear, the others to fire forward.

A plotline-convenient wormhole internal to the home galaxy would get Rip's expedition much closer to the intergalactic wormhole. Rip was told what his bosses had heard from Yoga-Rug about who were the good guys they were looking for (as well as the little detail of WHERE the Cosmic Federation was). Yoga-Rug had promised that, courtesy of the Janitors of the Universe, Parbellik and Luvardra would be notified of the allies coming their way.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
 
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Station Supervisor Gaflatori, the woman who had facilitated the Magtas' open admission to the capital world, brought a team of neurologists to Planet Umbaderro, to perform in-depth brainwave studies of men there. By subspace radio, she called authorities on Madmaksilon, and received updates on what the helpful outsiders were doing. Being an honest official, Gaflatori was glad to know that Chillworld and farther-out planets of that system were being more thoroughly investigated. Royko Dabdint, one of the rare Cosmic Federation male humans to have escaped the dumbing-down by being out of range when it struck, had resumed command of the star schooner Dodgelightly, and was avoiding duplication of effort by scouting icy dwarf planets which the superheroes were bypassing.

Royko's usual executive officer, Sub-Captain Todd Milspek, had temporarily switched to X.O. duties on the Skytwirl, an in-system-only spaceship with an otherwise all-female crew. Just to leave no stone unturned, they were searching for possible clues on INNER planets of the system.

It was just bad luck for Todd and his new shipmates that your author decided somebody needed to get killed, so that there would be more sense of this plot arc having something serious at stake. While overflying a barren Mercury-like planet, the Skytwirl suddenly was blown to bits by super-intense laser beams based on green light. The cloaked vessel which destroyed the Federation ship followed up with an all-channels radio broadcast which was hardly any more subtle than its act of murder.

"Attention, all Ziblamots, Humans, Shmeehobbers, Arpkevorkians, Dahodorans, and other sophont races residing within the Cosmic Federation! This is your warning: we, the mighty Green Flashlights, are superior to all of you. But this is not a matter of race, as beings of any race can become Green Flashlights. It is a matter of our wisdom. Only we can help you to solve the mystery of your human males being drained of intelligence..... and only if you SUBMIT TO OUR AUTHORITY will you be deserving of our help. The ones we have just executed were unwilling to obey us.

"Be warned! Only the Flashlight Corps can restore order to this galaxy. If you refuse to accept our supremacy, evolution itself will judge you all unworthy to enjoy any safety or freedom! Everyone receiving this broadcast is commanded to contact any Green Flashlight they can find, and offer your abject submission."

Don't feel too bad for the people on the Skytwirl; they all go to The Good Place.
 
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Captain Kactusita of the Peace Commanders was not in on the covert bargaining between Stellar Coordinator Vernacula Scurvylaff and the Hopecrushers. Kactusita had a sense of integrity, and had been on good footing with Krazlint Foofwack the previous Coordinator, whom Vernacula had assassinated. Judge Wytebredd on Madmaksilon WAS in on it, and was standing by for Vernacula's word to use members of the Turbo Ghouls in false-flag incidents to support any desired narrative.

When Lugwin Hestrum learned of Todd Milspek's demise, he told Carsala they needed to suspend their honeymoon. She understood, and went with him to the nearest Peace Commanders ground station to ask what service they could perform in this crisis. To their dismay, they were both placed under arrest, for being friendly with the Green Flashlight Corps.

Green Flashlights Jamsorvad and Tong Sao-Tu didn't have anyone trying to imprison them, because Katmatao, leader of the Janitors of the Universe, was able remotely to warn them in time about the false accusation. So the baboonoid Flashlight and his human assistant looked for a chance to meet up with Parbellik and Luvardra.

The latter two, having previously heard a hint from Wibgug-Bifyok that he knew the brave Lodge Flake, had decided that now was the time to demand more facts about Flake's Seven. Braskorim and Chutnykorn joined their blobby friend in choosing to face the crisis. It was time to show the Cosmic Federation how much a heroic band could accomplish when they included three Green Flashlights and a Heart Sapphire.
 
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With Chutnykorn hacking the access codes, the good guys were able to "borrow" an in-system ship similar to the destroyed Skytwirl. After they cleared atmosphere, Braskorim spoke to Jamsorvad, who was the senior Green Flashlight present:

"The friendlies enroute from Planet Spacebull need to be warned. It's highly possible that evil super-duper-aliens have notified Coordinator Scurvylaff about the past-event viewer, and she probably can't afford to let HER past deeds become widely known. We mustn't allow the Spacebullion ship to get blown into dust."

Jamsorvad faced the man from Jersey Earth. "Sao-Tu, you lack experience with combat uses of your prosthesis. You are therefore the logical one to perform a simple but vitally important job: intercept the Conciliator, warn them of their peril, and stand by to shield them from attacks if this becomes necessary."

= = = = = = = = = = =

Royurbota Quardimo, the second cousin and first love of the long-missing Lodge Flake, was keeping a low profile, spending much of her time helping a rotation of households which had two or more stupidized family members. (The narrator reminds you that non-humans of the Cosmic Federation did not reside permanently on Madmaksilon, because the Madmaksilar atmosphere was healthier to humans than it was to the other prominent races.)

The part-time policewoman should have succeeded in being inconspicuous. But Hopecrusher Central, though having no direct control over Lodge's fortunes (yes, OF COURSE he's alive, but the mystery was where he's BEEN all this time), could influence events. Like, by making Vernacula Scurvylaff aware that Lodge Flake was marooned on a far-off world. More about him later.)

Some of Coordinator Scurvylaff's off-the-record enforcers came from Planet Arpkevork: the homeworld of the Doctor Flunky who, decades before, had caused so much harm on Planet Windaro. That Royurbota's grandmother Velda reduced the damage had ever since been stubbornly denied by Arpkevorkians. The mental failure of nearly all true-human men had served as Vernacula's pretext to bring in many Arpkevorkian males to fill publicly-known posts as well as to be secret police.

On a carefully-chosen evening when the alarm over supposed hostility from the Flashlight Corps was holding interstellar attention, Royurbota was covertly arrested. She did break a few bones of her assailants, but was taken away and secretly confined all the same.

This, however, would not be allowed to stand. A young male Shmeehobber was in the vicinity, and happened to be the younger brother of a female Shmeehobber who had been a crewmember of the stranded ship rescued by Flake's Seven. This adolescent amoeboid was named Ludbib-Gloodup. Able to fit through tiny apertures almost as well as Wispy Mythical of New Laziness could do, he stole a stun gun, rendered some guards helpless, stole a master code-key, released Royurbota, gave her the stun gun,, and flew away in an aircar as a decoy while Royurbota escaped into the nearest woods.

So Royurbota WILL be able to be part of coming scenes. Just assume that a longtime friend of hers, tipped off by Ludbib-Gloodup, transported her to where she needed to be, before the next post happens.
 
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On board the Spacebullion starship Conciliator :

"Captain, forward sensors detect a person-shaped object three light-hours ahead of us. Apparently moving under power; it is receding ahead of us, as if purposely trying to come alongside." So spoke Brenda Neutron, the Conciliator's lead pilot. She was using the word "captain" in the ancient nautical sense: denoting a function rather than a paygrade.

"Acknowledged. Radio, are there any detectable electromagnetic emissions?" asked Commodore Tellus.

"Wait one, sir," said Tommy Kurasawa, the communications officer. "There, I've picked up something. Not in the radio-frequency band, which is why my system wasn't looking for it. It's visible light, but it's modulating like a radio signal. Attempting to read...."

A moment later, a human voice was heard. "Spacebullion ship, this is Tong Sao-Tu of the Green Flashlight Corps. I believe you have been told what Green Flashlights are. Did Lesha Slater send you?" Tommy put his captain on the frequency to reply to Sao-Tu.

"Green Flashlight, reply is affirmative. I am Commodore Rip Tellus, acting for Lesha Slater. We came through the Red Streak Wormhole. We are transporting the retroactive time-tracer which your people requested. What is your status?"

"Unstable. The central government of what calls itself the Cosmic Federation-- at least, under its current administration-- is proving to be no better than the Empire of Evil Badness. We Green Flashlights were hunting for clues to the origin of a disastrous mental attack upon billions of human males."

Brenda Neutron interjected: "This is Commodore Tellus' pilot. I need to go on record as saying that, even though I'm a strong, capable and fearless woman, I feel no need to put men down, so I won't make any tasteless and horrid jokes like, 'If the victims are men, how can you TELL that their minds were damaged?' Now, can you feed us coordinates for where to deliver the time-reviewing device?"

Sao-Tu gave the needed figures, then added: "There's a complication. Right now, I'm keeping another Green Flashlight inside my mobile environment with me. Complicated story, but if you can look into the past, you'll find out what happened with us. I have to get back and help my senior Flashlight retrieve his artifact."
 
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Town of Oxhide Spring, nation of Gahurr, world of Punksteema......

A memorial stone was raised on the north side of town, bearing the names of all who had lost their lives fighting against the combination of bandits, goblins, and a fiendish fire-giant. The Felrudean officer Varley Hocklenter, an excellent speaker, delivered a eulogy. He emphasized the fact that the heroes, whether fallen or surviving, had come from nations as far apart as Hukshem and Quelidar. "I don't mean to say that the world needs to eliminate separate nations, any more than to suggest that children should not live with their actual parents; but it is not a foolish wish that nations would be good neighbors to each other. The potential for such friendliness is embodied by Mistress Mukuma and her party, who journeyed all the way from the south continent and are now helping your city to recover....."

The speech was well received by all, including any persons who needed to have it translated for them. Various amicably formal gestures followed. One gesture came from Quadmor Bassett the lawman, who gave the late Connor McLucas' repeating rifle. Not literally gave it to Ronald, since Ronald still had a broken arm in a sling. Ysidro Lopez temporarily held the lever-action gun for Ronald.

"I happen to know," said Quadmor, "that Connor leaves no one who would specially want to keep his rifle; his real monument consists in his deeds of kindness and honesty in everyday life. Since I know that you can use any firearm with skill, and since your arbalest was ruined by heat, Connor surely would be pleased for you to own it after him. We can have new bullets made for it in town."

"Thank you, Constable. I promise to use this weapon in ways its former owner would approve."

Zoralee Jeralo also was nearby. "Sir Ronald? That's a good stout knife in your belt, but tell me, are you figuring you don't need a mid-range blade now that you have increased firepower?"

"No, I decided I still need the range versatility. The leader of Mistress Mukuma's caravan guards has been so kind as to sell me a well-balanced cut-and-thrust sword at a very reasonable price. I can wield it just as properly as I can wield an axe. And I can easily get a small hatchet for woodcutting."

Zoralee ignored the hatchet part. "He sold you a rapier? Not gave it outright?"

"I have no complaint, Miss Jeralo."

"Please call me Zoralee!"

"I have no complaint, Zoralee. The man barely knows me, and he has a wife and children to support."

"There are women who have their own occupations, and can share in earning a household's income."

"Of course there are, notably the remaining Smoke Maidens."

"You just aren't going to make this easy for me, are you, Ronald?"

"I have no interest in making anyone's life hard. I have made the lives of many wrongdoers SHORT, but this is only a side issue in my quest. I have my boys to train, so they can make the best use of the legacy Otto left them."

"Of course. And a weapon-trained woman can assist you at this, just as I'm told you gave initial teaching to the girl Razibi in Hukshem. I could show D'Kovo and the rest some infighting moves while your arm is mending. Moves which aren't redundant with Song-Fist moves."

"All right: when ANY of us has time."
 
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Kring Dakamish supervised the work of rebuilding the broken gondola for the Gogutai Canyon. When this airship headed for its home base on the other side of Punksteema (with a stop in Mifdola), it would carry the liquor merchant responsible for the wine poisonings to Upper Wenzeppu. Burzu Yunsh, who had gained a good reputation in Upper Wenzeppu, was planning to attend the poisoner's trial, to try to ensure that EVEN this monster was given a fair trial.

Feshri, the younger of the two "Javelin Sisters," had the sense to realize that Ronald of Goliad was not likely to take a marital interest in her when he was a year older than her father. But Talusek Fernwood, the young swordsman who was the eldest of Ronald's apprentice Towermen, was another matter. Talusek's mind was occupied at present with a desire to prove worthy of the farewell gift Otto had bestowed on him and the others; but he spoke courteously with Feshri when she started conversations with him. He even asked reasonable questions about her family, including the courageous brother whose murder she and Nishri had set out to avenge.

Ronald, and Colonel Zaptrim with him, took a keen interest in Mistress Mukuma's connections to the Long Quest Church Alliance. Every believer in Yeshua/Jesus on Punksteema, if they had any clue about geography, understood that the lands described by the Bible did not exist on Punksteema; but however it was that the Bible had become available on THIS planet, believers over many centuries (including the glorious Edgar Pallendin) had experienced enough miracles clearly related to the contents of Scripture, that they knew the Biblical events had to have really occurred SOMEWHERE. And it was well proven, over the centuries, that faith in Jesus did give protection against demonic domination.

"Towerman, Colonel, the others with me will eventually return to N'Dazpor. But at my age, I am the most expendable of us. The Bibles we brought with us will soon have been distributed to the last copy; but I wish to provide faraway believers with plans to construct a modern printing press. For our presses are the most advanced in all of Wellvernia, and I want to see mechanical progress being used to assist in spiritual correction and growth for many souls."

"Diagrams are much easier to transport than a completed printing press," Colonel Zaptrim told her. "We can easily convoy you as far as Mifdola, and thence west to Bamulica; but we have no plans ourselves to revisit the Wenzeppues or Gahurr any time soon."

"No worries, Colonel. If God plans for me to live on for a significant span after this mission, He can provide the means for me to get back to my own continent, OR to be sustained on this one."
 
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Heejee, the Drovalish girl who was a crack rifle shot, had a conversation with Roy Crinkly the hunter, Lady Dorothy Malgriff also being present.

"Mister Crinkly, have you always been able to get by with a rifle that has to be reloaded after every shot?"

"When it's a matter of bringing down a large, dangerous beast from a long distance, yes. But I certainly can use a repeater, like the one Connor had. Only when I've had to fight multiple enemies inside a town, or on board a train, have I used pistols. And as a last resort--"

Roy drew his belt knife and threw it across a distance of about forty paces, to stick into a slender tree trunk. "--there's old-fashioned hardware."

"As a shooter myself, I'm the last to disrespect your skill; but don't you think your shooting might be EVEN MORE exact if your gun had a telescopic sight, like what my mother makes?"

"Probably so, Miss Heejee. I'll plan on doing business with Sazka at a suitable time."

Meanwhile, Ilya Trostel was talking to some of Oxhide Spring's leading citizens about how to give away silver weapons to local citizens. Ilya, Talusek, Diego and D'Kovo no longer needed silver, because they all now possessed a Towerman's ability to damage weapon-resistant monsters with ordinary attacks.
 
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Returning to the very first Earth-variant which was seen in this serial......

At Spark Laboratories in Generic Large City, with Justice Department personnel witnessing the proceedings, the veteran heroes Particle and Silhouette facilitated the questioning of Marcie Graze Loozor, the widow of Lex Loozor. Particle first microscopically studied the inside of Marcie's brain, finding no signs of tampering. Then Silhouette hypnotized the notorious woman to make her speak the truth, but remarked to the people present, "I can tell that she WANTS to tell us the truth. Marcie, no one is here to punish you. Enough is known about you, that no one here is opposed to granting you a full pardon, given your cooperation."

Marcie sighed. "Lex disappointed me. I thought he was capable of loyalty to comrades, but he wasn't. Ask away."

So she gave two hours' worth of details. Green Flashlight Ryan Pebbles, Blue Junebug, Degreaser, and Marysuefire were among the superheroes in attendance. Marcie related in depth all of the weapons and supporting technology which Lex and Red Headbone had produced for Beijing, including the concealing darkness-projector. The heroes and bureaucrats listening to her all concluded that the Chinese had in fact complied with their agreement to emphasize defensive applications.

And since Beijing was also complying on the issue of letting people emigrate, everyone witnessing the hypnotic interrogation agreed that the United States on this Earth could afford to be guardedly optimistic for diplomatic relations with China.

Captain Patriot observed, "It's remarkable how reasonable and cooperative a dictatorship can be, when it knows that we are capable of kicking their butts to the Moon and back if they force us to."
 
Degreaser, to remind the reader, is a non-superpowered-but-exceptionally-trained crimefighter in the Batgirl mold, of an age to belong to the Teen Tryouts. She listened with interest to a post-interrogation conversation between Marcie and the converted Face Twister man called Maskoflage. Marcie did seem to be a little bit cheered up by this conversation.

Degreaser then invited Marcie to stay for a while in a room at the Teen Tryouts' dormitory. The invitation being gladly accepted, the girl and the woman had a good conversation over supper at the Tryouts' cafeteria. Marcie posed a question early on.

"Since you're associated with the Bats-Family, I know that you know a lot about the Dwayne family which is friendly to the Bats-Family." Not Marcie's mouth, but her eyes, were adding: I have no doubt that you know who Batfellow really is. Since Catfemale, who received a pardon, has long been known to be the same Saltina Kool who married Brutus Dwayne, and since the young crimefighter Huntergirl is the same age, height and weight as Brutus and Saltina's daughter, AND since the reformed Harpy Grinn got married to Mister Dwayne's butler Alphonse Nickelworth, people would have to have an I.Q. in negative numbers NOT to suspect that Brutus Dwayne is himself Batfellow.

Degreaser offered a neutral reply. "For sure, I've been permitted to visit the Bat-Grotto many times, without being invited into whatever above-ground building may be connected with it." Her eyes replied to Marcie's eyes: Every honest person in Urbanopolis owes such a huge debt of gratitude to Batfellow, that they probably would all plug their ears if someone SHOUTED his secret identity.

Marcie's loss of, plus disillusionment with, Lex Loozor, still would not let her take a jocular tone. But she did say to Degreaser, "Loving a would-be global dictator hasn't worked out for me. If Batfellow, or Captain Patriot, or some such clean-living good guy, could ever somehow take an interest in me, I sure wouldn't turn up my nose at him now."

Degreaser shrugged. "There are such men in the world, BESIDES the ones who have special powers and-or a hidden identity. One of the guys who flew to that other planet with Cyberdork, Raisin, Whoosh and Spiderweb-Man is a Kansas state police sergeant, and by all accounts he did well. He's married now, but there are others like him."
 
The reporter Irish North, love interest for The Whoosh, treated Marcie to an expensive lunch the next day, and urged her to speak of anything she cared to tell. So Marcie spun a pretty standard poor-victimized-me story about how the oppressive world had alienated her and yada yada. Though disillusioned with grand-scale villainy, she had not yet come all the way over to the up-side.

Meanwhile, Degreaser asked to tag along with Steve "Captain Patriot" Roughroad, who was in a dull stretch where finding more villains to fight was concerned. Steve had heard rumors that the reasonably nasty crook self-named Actsnarky was hanging around Central Municipality (which Copperfox figures is in northern Missouri, not exactly corresponding to any major city on Original Earth). Degreaser's pitch for coming along was, in substance: "You are a plain-dealing, straight-shooting, fair-fighting type. When Actsnarky knows you're in town, he'll know better than to slug it out with you face to face. If not simply hiding from you, he'll try to trap or ambush you. But with his attention on you, I may be able to ambush HIM."

Steve saw sense in this. "You can come, provided one more person comes with us."

"So let Raisin join us. You already know that she's been a little bored, being back on Earth after all the excitement with Block Atom. And her telekinesis will fit well with my stealth."

"All right, we'll bring her."

Copperfox had been considering pairing Captain Patriot up with a reformed Marcie Graze-Loozor; but naaaaah, we've seen enough of barely-converted bad girls instantly winning the hearts of stand-up lawful-good bachelors. If Marcie is to get another chance in life with a good-aligned eligible man, she'll have to earn it.
 
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With Batfellow, Duskwing and Goldfinch all on hand again to join Catfemale. Flatwing and Huntergirl in making sure that the pregnant Harpy Grinn-Nickelworth was safe, Harpy told her husband, "Hey, you did so well filling in for Bats while he was off-world, you ought to be allowed some adventure on your own account. You told me that our two revived old heroes want to visit Missouri, right?"

"Yes, dearest, they do. The more so since they heard that Master Brutus, Beef Boy and Aquaticman were all involved in an adventure there."

"Then how about you shepherd them there? Make sure they can deal with smart phones and electronic purchases. I even sneaky-like bought you a special present for the trip: an all plastic and ceramic pistol, which won't ping a metal detector. It shoots rubber bullets, to knock bad guys down without killing them. You got a concealed-carry license, after all. Plus a ceramic knife, again detector-proof. The knife CAN kill someone, but I know you got the skill to use it only to disable."

Alphonse kissed Harpy with great feeling. "Thank you, darling."
.... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....

Soon enough, Alphonse, Particle and Silhouette were in Missouri-- where, as in the Missouri on Original Earth, winter is always mild.

First they toured St. Louis, and went up inside the giant arch there. Unlike Original Earth, an identical arch stood on the Illinois side of the Mississippi. The three vigorous old guys went up inside both arches. On the Missouri side, they visited the campus of Washington University in the suburbs of St. Louis. They went there because, on Original Earth, Copperfox had once been a student at that university.

After seeing enough modern sights, the trio toured Central Municipality-- which was notable for having streets laid out FAR MORE LOGICALLY than in the St. Louises of both Earths. This being done, they said farewell to big cities altogether, and headed for the small resort town whose chief attraction was the Country Kingdom family-fun and music park.

Kenny Garth Brooks, director of entertainment and himself a singer, welcomed the trio, though Alphonse was the only one whose identity he knew. Upon request, he showed them the on-site pond where Princess Reelnyce of the Fishfolk had been rescued from her kidnapers.
 
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