Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

MEANWHILE, the Magtas were standing by on a planet whose natives had VERY LITTLE cause to think favorably of the Federation establishment. Windaro has been mentioned before: the planet visited many years ago by the starship Extrovert. That ship's doctor, an Arpkevorkian called Flunky, had not exactly intended to commit genocide; but his arrogant handling of a problem with Windaran reproduction had nearly caused the whole species to become unable to produce any more children. It was Velda Flake, an ancestor to both Lodge Flake and his true love Royurbota Quardimo, who had saved the Windarans from extinction.

The Windarans, consequently, were inclined to think favorably of anyone who was friendly to Lodge and Royurbota.

The Flashlights were camped out in a conveniently remote location, inside the crater of a reliably extinct volcano. Also present were several friendly humans from Umbaderro, who knew some of what was really going on. (In particular, they knew about the disappearance of Taglamso the forest ranger.) As we resume action, one Windaran female whose mother had personally known Velda Flake showed up to tell them: "I have just been mystically contacted by an apparent human calling himself Mazash, who has some kind of mental powers. He told me that he, and another one like him, are about to deliver powerful friends to this planet. Many of these will be unfamiliar to any of us, but they are accompanied by known good guys: notably Royurbota Quardimo, Wibgug-Bifyok, and Cyborg Chutnykorn."

To keep things moving, everyone who had flown with Royurbota for the meeting with Rip Tellus was in the arriving contingent. If I said before that Parbellik and Luvardra had been with Royurbota, then sure, they arrived with her now; otherwise, they had already been on Windaro. Details, details.

Block Atom was there with Serrimu. John and Lylah Cardsharper were there, as were Slick and Krayzee Mudpackis. Tarp Kanvas came with a squad of his fellow six-limbed green warriors. (I remind the readers that these "Thark" equivalents, when transplanted to Planet Freesoil, had been miraculously given increased strength to endure increased gravity.) Everybody from Freesoil carried either energy weapons or high-quality bullet-guns. Perry Kushun, a survivor of the old Spacebullion mega-mothership, even brought his kettledrums, in case any dramatic moment required special emphasis.

When the Magtas were introduced to Block and Serrimu, Parbellik ascertained that Serrimu had a practical familiarity with weapons. He accordingly loaned her the rocket launcher he had been keeping in reserve. Then he addressed the hard-bodied metahuman:

"I understand that, besides being so strong physically, you are saturated with magic. I must warn you: even you are not omnipotent. It is very likely that the flesh-and-blood villains in this region of space have a demon-level evil being backing them up."


"Oh, I know I'm not omnipotent," the antihero replied. "The limit upon my powers was imposed on me by much weaker beings-- because they were SMARTER than I was. It may after all be a blessing that I was placed under this binding: but be that as it may, I was indisputably defeated by superior cunning."

Wibgug-Bifyok, the Shmeehobber who had been among Parbellik's and Luvardra's earliest friends in this Federation, spoke to Block next.

"In addition to your possible vulnerabilities, and in addition to not wanting needless deaths on any side, we have a narrowly specific priority: the survivors of Flake's Seven. If Coordinator Scurvylaff realizes that we want to rescue those heroes, she will either treat them as hostages against us, or kill them outright as an arrogant act of defiance."

Royurbota seconded her blobby friend: "Losing Lodge is unthinkable. This priority will cripple us, IF that snake Vernacula realizes we want to rescue him and his friends. But you, Block Atom, can help to prevent this danger to my betrothed, by giving the tyrant a believable different reason for our actions."


"Which is--?"

"Since Vernacula is pretending that recent deaths are the fault of Green Flashlights, you can be part of a plausible response by the indignant Flashlight Corps, never making any reference to Lodge."
 
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The planet Arpkevork has not until now been depicted in our serial. Some Arpkevorkians were fools or villains, but the whole race was not uniformly bad, any more than any other species (except the Barnsmell, the Glukks, and the Creepycrawlids). Arpkevork as a society had no real connection with the experiences of Lodge Flake, so a carefully non-lethal raid here should not tip off the bad guys that a rescue of Flake's Seven was in the works.

Luvardra Magta activated broadcast media on Arpkevork, plus their equivalent of the internet. In every language commonly used here, both Arpkevorkans and other beings visiting here heard or saw this message:

"Citizens of, or delegations to, the Cosmic Federation! I speak for Planet Wawa, and for the Green Flashlight Corps. Our Flashlight agents have been falsely accused of wantonly destroying the spaceship Skytwirl, which was carrying some of the few human males of the Federation who had not been brain-damaged by the mysterious enemy. They are also charged with terrorizing the natives of Poobeedoo. But not only did Flashlights NOT wreck property on Poobeedoo nor destroy the Skytwirl, they also had no part in causing the massive drain of intelligence.

"We are determined to expose the real culprits; but unlike those evildoers, WE never kill people without clear justification. Accordingly, we are about to give a show of force, affecting only non-living objects. One of your cities, called Yuvandast, is home to many military atmosphere craft. You will remove all living creatures from the holding area for those aircraft, so no one will be harmed when we disable the machines. We will even allow you time to remove any vehicles which are designed for lifesaving missions before we hit. We will not prevent you from repairing the war machines afterward; but you will have seen a demonstration of what we COULD do to our enemies.

"Let those who lie about an honorable order of peacekeepers take warning!"

When enough time had been granted, and no living thing was inside the target area, Luvardra and Parbellik accompanied Block Atom and Serrimu down to Yuvandast. As they descended, Serrimu fired two rockets down to the ground; these blew up the two gates to the fenced holding area, not harming anyone but reinforcing the warning.

Once inside the aircraft park, the Magtas jointly formed a barrier around it, both blocking any attempt to enter, and protecting people outside from possible flying fragments of aircraft. Then Block Atom had his fun: shattering wings, cockpits, landing gear, lift fans, rotors, and other components. He had every last aircraft in the enclosure demolished within one minute.


When the posse departed that star system, they had given the Federation's rulers plenty to worry about.
 
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So where WERE Lodge Flake and his surviving shipmates now?

Vernacula Scurvylaff had never guessed that any outside heroes (other than the Green Flashlights she was framing) might come to the Cosmic Federation to rescue these captives. Accordingly, her officers had practiced only "regular" secrecy as they sequestered the brave rebels-- back on Razztazzem Six.

But if security was not extraordinary, cowardly revenge was.

Nimsalur Bokrem, one of Coordinator Scurvylaff's top human henchwomen, had made use of her cyborg-technology expertise...... to connect sensory feeds into the brains of the five captive heroes. Each of them began suffering nightmares which never ended. For instance, Diva Mellowmind repeatedly imagined having people she cared about as her emergency patients-- and being unable to stop them from dying.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Next, let's tie up a loose end. I found what I said happened to two other Green Flashlights.

The baboon-like hero Jamsorvad, some time back, had tried in good faith to reason with Federation authorities on Fussyfrit..... relinquishing his power-light as proof of honest intentions. Only the quick intervention of the inexperienced but alert Tong Sao-Tu had saved Jamsorvad from being shot dead. Not confident of taking on the whole capital planet himself, Sao-Tu had brought Jamsorvad with him on a beeline for the Red Streak Wormhole, bound home for Planet Wawa.

The Janitors of the Universe needed time to craft a replacement Flsshlight prosthesis for Jamsorvad. They commended Sao-Tu for saving his senior, but reckoned that someone more experienced should go back to the other galaxy now and carry on. Lucy Luminous was available for this purpose.

Now, I can say that chronology is adequately adjusted so that Jamsorvad and Tong Sao-Tu can be anywhere else I might have said they were.
 
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Hector von Bootblack lent one more boost to events, by directing Lucy exactly to where her allies would be.

"The sapient race which really founded the Cosmic Federation is the Ziblamots, originating on Planet Blamtet. They are large oxygen-breathing bipeds; their most remarkable feature is long arms which each have an extra joint. The ways they can bend their arms make for extraordinary competitive sports, and an ability to play astonishing musical instruments.

"Humans in the galactic region you are bound for learned faster-than-light spacecraft design from the Ziblamots, who were already allied with an even stranger intelligent species called Shmeehobbers. Two things the humans had going for them were a higher birthrate than the others, and more imaginative skills for social organization. Once joined in a federation with Ziblamots and Shmeehobbers, plus a dozen or so less-numerous races, humans grew steadily more powerful in the region's politics. This, not by violence or treachery, but by talent, so things remained amicable.

"A Stellar Coordinator-- similar to a president-- can be elected from any member species in the Cosmic Federation; but the latest four consecutive Coordinators have all been human, and at least one other has been a Dahudoran-- the VERY human-like race that Parbellik Magta gained his bride from. Only the very latest leader, Vernacula Scurvylaff, has proven to be outright evil and utterly without conscience.

"The good guys to whom I'm guiding you are gathered on Blamtet. They will update you on developments since Tong Sao-Tu brought Jamsorvad back to Wawa. You'll find quite an assortment of new friends there."

+ + + + + + + + +

On Blamtet, there was a social organization similar to the "Veterans Of Foreign Wars" in the America of Original Earth. To the Cosmic Federation's credit, it had never waged cynical wars of conquest, but it had fought off external aggressors, and fought in defense of non-Federation worlds who were friendly to the Federation. Members of the Ziblamot "Survivors Of Off-World Wars" were well thought of all over the Federation. When the brain drain on human males occurred, members of this fellowship had hastened to planets with human populations, to help restore order and provide care for the stupidized men.


Past generations of Ziblamots, roaming their galaxy, had encountered members of the Heart Sapphire Sisterhood. Just like the people of Jersey Earth, Ziblamots had learned that the Sapphires were sometimes foolish, but never intentionally did harm. Knowing this much caused people on Blamtet to be receptive to meeting Parbellik Magta and his Dahudoran Heart Sapphire wife.

Block Atom and Serrimu stayed elsewhere, since Block was the one who had been prominent in the raid on the air base. In fact, Block purposely did fly-bys in star systems far from Blamtet, as a diversion. Weapons were fired at him, but he evaded them, since his lover would have been in peril even if he proved immune to the weapons.

The forthcoming action on Blamtet can be assumed to include almost everyone who was brought over from Planet Freesoil. This includes the elderly newlywed lovebirds Denzel and Lumlabbish Powder. I remind my readers that Lumlabbish is a tail-headed Tryyurluck woman. She and the human Denzel had both been widowed after enjoying healthy, loving marriages; thus, each of them was capable of loving AGAIN in a healthy way, and they were doing so, complete with public displays of mutual affection.
 
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A Ziblamot male who, in his military career, had been the spacegoing equivalent of a navy lieutenant-commander, was overseeing the meeting. His name was Vildaromp, and he knew who Braskorim was. One of the first visitors to speak with him at length was the former Dark Headgear.

"My name is Slick Mudpackis. Like you, I served in a space navy. UNLIKE you, I fought in the cause of oppression and cruelty. In fact, my government was far more cruel than anything your Federation ever saw. It was only by divine providence, and NO thanks to me, that I did not become guilty of exterminating the whole population of a defenseless planet. Now that I have changed from down-side to up-side, it is my solace that I can make some amends for my evil deeds. Hopefully, you don't need to accept my words blindly. Do you possess lie-detection technology?"

"So we do," replied Vildaromp, "combined brainwave and voiceprint reading."


The relevant apparatus was brought in, and soon verified that Slick's intentions were honest. His wife Krayzee volunteered to be tested next. When she, Parbellik Magta, Lumlabbish Powder (because she was an unfamiliar species), Divarsha Mezzomorf and Abner Littleton had all passed the honesty test, Vildaromp declared that this was enough. "Now, give us the outline."

Dahudorans were not unknown in the Federation, so Luvardra came front and center.

"I also have something shameful to confess. All of you know who and what we Heart Sapphires are. In fact, one of our famous currently-living leaders, Joza-Varu-Paf, the yellow-skinned humanoid with a long neck, visited Fussyfrit once, about eleven of this planet's years ago. But more recently, I became aware of a negative side to our supposedly-wonderful practices. Over in the Milky Way Galaxy, the same Joza-Varu-Paf and other senior Sisters decided to make a large human population DEPENDENT ON the benefits we offered. Those humans began abandoning their careers and industries much faster than the Sisterhood anticipated, while not nearly enough of that world's women acquired Sapphire powers to be able to compensate.

"That human world needed outside help to salvage its infrastructure; and YOUR civilization may need outside help to remedy what your current government has done. Yes, YOUR OWN COORDINATOR planned and executed the drain of male-human intellect, so she could extort concessions from everyone in return for her "saving" you from the mass affliction. And just as my Sisterhood acted in benign ignorance yet caused great harm, so Federation authorities not privy to Vernacula Scurvylaff's plotting will act in good faith-- yet really be helping her to secure her grip on the throat of your civilization."


"In light of widespread ignorance among your planets," Parbellik put in, "we are working on ways to thwart Vernacula Scuvylaff WITHOUT causing enormous losses of life."
 
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////// When the ships from Freesoil had met up with Conciliator and Ramblecart, some shuffling of people had occurred. Ramblecart had flown away from there carrying Royurbota, Wibgug-Bifyok, Chutnykorn and some of the Freesoilers. The latter were John and Lylah Cardsharper, plus a small green Greedork female named Slitterbing, who was talented with electronics. Chutnykorn directly fed into her brain some specifications of Peace Commander security systems, plus interior layout of their planned destination. Chutnykorn still suffered occasional speech distortions with his voice, but this did not impair his neural-input function.

The cyborg piloted Ramblecart to a system which featured pressurized habitats like the one where the Magtas had first presented themselves in the Cosmic Federation. One of these habitats, built on an icy moon of a gas-giant planet similar to Chillworld, had long served as a hospital where passing starships could drop off crewmembers or passengers who suddenly fell sick or got hurt in accidents. Chutnykorn transmitted false authorization to visit patients.


Admitted to a ship-service airlock, Wibgug-Bifyok altered his body shape to enclose the little Greedork without suffocating her. No one else coming on board needed to be concealed. When the chance came, Slitterbing was left in a small reserve control room, from which she would be able to interfere with hospital security systems if this became necessary.

Three low-ranking Peace Commander watchmen-- Dahudoran males, thus not stupidized-- began politely flirting with Royurbota. She was known to have been engaged to the notorious Lodge Flake, but the pretended breakup had left her clear from official suspicion. It also meant that these would-be new boyfriends (who had heard she was part Dahudoran herself) could act all sympathetic about her bitter disappointment with "that rotten pirate." And by now, Royurbota had become an expert at pretending that she hated Lodge.

Chuthykorn had forged credentials for John and Lylah as psychiatric researchers, including a statement that John had been outside Federation space when the mental attack struck. John's macho physique made it convincing that he needed no protection against a violent mental patient. Very few of the brain-crippled men and boys had become belligerent, but a few cases were housed in this habitat.

None of these victims were persons named previously in the story, nor family members of any such. Remember, we're talking about a galactic society with a human population approaching a hundred billion.

John and Lylah went to work as a psionic tag team. Fuss users could not read exact thoughts, but could get an idea of what subjects people thought ABOUT, or what their emotional state was. And Lylah could "sweep" an area, detecting hints from numerous minds, then gradually filtering 0ut those of less interest. John could pick out every detail of thoughts from one person at a time, while remaining open for cues from his wife.


In this fashion, they determined that the most intriguing brain among the patients was that of a fifteen-year-old boy named Shebber Dristo, a native of a colonized world called Pellavinno. But before asking to see Shebber, John read several minds of the workers, to see if THEY considered the boy unusual. Sure enough, they all did.

All of them were aware that Shebber would focus his eyes on objects more consistently than any of the other patients did. And John considered it a red light that the attendants had no plans to TELL HIM this detail.
 
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It was a good thing that everybody here enjoyed necessary plotline-convenient language-bridging whatever. John could read any mind in fine detail, but he still was grappling with trying to SEND OUT thoughts telepathically.

Chutnykorn, bypassing the workers' reluctance to give out facts, yet not violating any rule, called up a sort of biography. Thanking the cyborg, John read aloud from the summary.

"Shebber Dristo, you were born in Blue Crags, a cold-latitude city on Pellavinno. Your father was an iron-mine foreman; mother, a full-time homemaker. Two sisters; one has lately become a botanist, the other still is in grade school. When the cerebral attack occurred, your father and six other men were half a kilometer underground, surrounded by iron ore. They emerged only partly confused, still remembering who their loved ones were. Your own father still knew YOU, and tried to get you to communicate....."


Since John was speaking aloud, Lylah heard his line of talk. Suddenly she loudly THOUGHT at her husband: I'm catching something in his half-buried memory. Ask him if his father told of seeing something unusual!

Accordingly: "Shebber, did your father tell your mother that he saw anything strange while he was in the mine shaft during the attack?"

In John's thought probe, a door seemed to open. Shebber WAS carrying an image, as if his father had been able to share this telepathically back then. On the display in the boy's brain, John saw-- an anticlimactic sight, yet a significant one. It looked like a fair-skinned human female, wearing drab trousers, past middle age, yet smirking AS IF she had more male admirers than Royurbota had. Whoever this was, she was not Vernacula Scurvylaff.


The seeming woman had not been looking at Mister Dristo, but some thought had leaked out of her, into the mine foreman's brain-- thus, now into Shebber's brain, for John to perceive. She needs to make up her mind, which way to recommend the devices should be programmed. If they are programmed to drain women's intelligence, she can promote a claim that evil oppressive men did this, wanting all women to be locked up in the kitchen. But if men are the ones disabled, women who bravely love them and care for them can look noble for this loving and caring. Then there's no problem of making sure Vernacula, Nimsalur and others are kept safe and intelligent.

This was all that John gathered before an alarm squawked, followed by a humanoid voice: "Unauthorized probing detected! Neutralize and detain suspects!"

Not being slowed down by having to emerge from a mind-meld, Lylah drew a concealed stun gun and put two orderlies out of action. Wibgug-Bifyok bore no weapon, but he extended a long pseudopod and tripped another Dahudoran man. A clawed robot appeared from somewhere; John yanked it off its feet and smashed it against a bulkhead. Chutnykorn drew a stunner of his own, and stopped two more men. Royurbota grabbed Shebber and hauled him along, while the concealed Greedork girl overrode everything that would have prevented their escape to the ship.
 
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When they retrieved Slitterbing, she told them: "I tapped into their cameras, so I have an idea of what went on with you. And I scrambled their subspace radio station, so they'll be delayed from calling Scurvylaff."

"Are you saying that a remote HOSPITAL has a direct line to the dictator?" asked Lylah.


"That's what I gathered in my hacking."

"Then should we hurry to join up with the others on Blamtet?" asked Wibgug-Bifyok.

John Cardsharper was against this option. "What I could glean from people's minds here, before and after we ran for it, says that although they are in league with the crooked Coordinator, they have no clue about our plan to line up the Ziblamots against the regime. So if our enemies DON'T know they're in danger of Blamtet standing up against them, WE should not be the ones to spoil that surprise."

"I agree," said Chutnykorn.


"So where should we go instead?" asked Slitterbing.

Royurbota's voice was raw and hoarse. "We go straight to SAVE LODGE and his crew, before THEY get silenced!"


"But where are THEY being kept?" said Lylah.

"I believe that Scurvylaff is complacent enough to feel she can simply do what's convenient: that is, just put them in the handiest secure location. Which almost certainly means right back on Razztazzem Six."

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^


They were less than half a light-year beyond the star system where they had liberated Shebber, when a Green Flashlight beam activated their subspace radio.

"Calling the friends of Flake's Seven! I am Lucy Luminous, a Green Flashlight. The wizard Hector von Bootblack hurried my flight to your vicinity. He told me there was a planet called Razztazzem Six, which would be of importance to you. If you can wait a day or two, I'll accompany you there."
 
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Next, I will try to figure out where I last left my versions of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Asajj Ventress. I remind my readers that in this saga, Obi-Wan DOESN'T have to sacrifice himself on board the Death Star, because there IS NO Death Star, and my version of Anakin Skywalker never turned evil. The nearest equivalent of a Death Star was destroyed by Groan Starr just before my story began, in the "Spaceballs" reality-sector.

Here's a partial catch-up. The supposedly nature-loving planet Kantpoo, in order to boast of never using petrochemical power, had been using battery-powered machinery extensively. But their batteries required the toxic minerals lithium and cobalt. They had been purchasing these minerals from a planet called Poxkrut-- which used expendable slave labor in the mines. My versions of Obi-Wan, Ventress and Plo Koon broke up the slave trade on Poxkrut. Assisting them were a pair of well-educated runaway slaves, Habgun and his sister Wiltrava, belonging to a very-near-human species.


I remind you that previously, on Kummanokkin, my Obi-Wan counterpart found that my Ventress counterpart had repented of evil and joined the up-side. Those two are now very happily married.

Around that time, a mercenary named Blastodon Kroof had been helping Imperial officer Shrinkdin Trush and his daughter Siskeli to hunt for the Dimsaber. Kroof himself was armed with the solid-bladed Darkmachete. As of present time in our story, the Dimsaber is in the possession of the Empire of Evil Badness, and Blastodon is once again operating independently.
 
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We pick things up with a blue-skinned Chisskurdian woman: from the same human-like race as the sisters Tapidri and Tarvili in the "Earth-Whichever" plot arc, but profoundly different in moral character. Trillyun Subaru is the only survivor of a Popquizzitor team which tried to recapture Planet Riggblit for the Empire. ("Babylon Five"-related characters had also been on both sides of that battle.) Grand Admiral Thuglyfe Skrawn, as a very different sort of boss from Darth Vader, didn't condemn Trillyun for losing; he simply put her back on general anti-good-guys patrol.

Trillyun decided to fish in a new pond. She would find some inhabited planet associated with Planet Spacebull, which until recently had been a sort of branch of Evil Badness. There she would try to detect any new up-side Fuss adepts, in order to bring their heads home to the Admiral.


Skrawn had provided her with a killer droid which could detect brainwaves of sapient creatures. By its root programming, this would never harm anyone evil, unless the evil person clearly intended harm to Trillyun. Subject to its hard-wired loyalty, it would automatically defend itself against attack. Only Trillyun could positively order it TO slay a living creature. As a private joke, she named the robot "Anti-Asimov."

One planet listed in her navigational computer was called Kridmashor. It was what speculating scientists on Original Earth would call a "supra-terrestroid" planet. It possessed an oxygen-and-liquid-water environment; but its mass was nearly twice that of Earth. There was plenty of life here, but nothing which could fly. Every native animal was low, long and wide; creatures went on multiple sets of legs, or slithered like snakes. Trees, likewise, remained low, spreading like bushes.

Kridmashor had no moon, so the only tidal action for its oceans was generated by the parent star. Given a relatively welcoming marine environment, people visiting here frequently went diving, sometimes to prospect for the local equivalent of pearls. To Popquizzitor Subaru, this meant: if no up-siders here, why not steal some wealth?

Five humans, prospectors from Directvideo, emerged from the surf. Without bothering to speak to them, Trillyun had Anti-Asimov shoot them all dead; helped herself to their treasure; stripped off their diving suits as potentially saleable; and left their bodies to be eaten by scavengers. She did not do anything to their spaceship; let any concerned authorities infer that the treasure-seekers had merely had fatal bad luck.

The ambitious Popquizzitor was focused on her mission: to kill good guys, to earn approval from Thuglyfe Skrawn (maybe even snare him romantically), and to ensure that no reader would feel sorry for her when she got what she deserved in the end.
 
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The Directvidean Minister of Commerce was a man called Jacob Droff. It happened that he had been unimpressed on the day when Groan Starr, accompanied by Puke of Kashorchek, turned up to claim a willing Princess Vixen. Jacob's feelings toward the mystery-prince-or-duke-sort-of-guy had improved after Groaner's reunion with House Ashtrayides resulted in booming trade for Directvideo with the Dune-derived sub-universe.

Not to mention that Groan Starr's victory over Dark Headgear had resulted in Planet Spacebull paying reparations to Directvideo, and in House Ashtrayides making new technology available to the friendly Chimpanzians.

Economic growth had meant more spacecraft being built: a few for system defense, but most for mercantile use. The ship which (unknown so far to Jacob or his king) had carried five prospectors to their deaths on Kridmashor, was a product of the recent construction boom. King Lowbrain wanted his nephew Duke Diskoduck to come home some time soon, in order to be presented with a new space cruiser for ambassadorial travel. Diskoduck, supported by his devoted wife Wilma and their handy robot Clankalot, had been doing very well as Ambassador to Planet Cakebun in the Bakesum system: not only maintaining friendly ties with the Cakebunters, but also facilitating commerce with the Goldarns of the Bubblewrap Coalition.

Lowbrain's wish in this respect was granted in a timely manner. A human up-side Fuss user who's been offstage long enough, Master Quinine Sauce who had bested the Popquizzitor Sweetslayer, was being brought to Directvideo on Diskoduck's vessel. When a subspace video call was put through from the star-yacht, Quinine Sauce came on screen to explain his own errand.

"Over a month ago, forces from the Empire of Evil Badness, bolstered by space mercenaries, tried to recapture a planet called Riggblit, where Thuglyfe Skrawn's people had been using slave labor until the planet was deemed no longer necessary. The new invasion was foiled, but at the sorrowful cost of Nonsmoka Tiptoe, the same up-sider who captured Dark Headgear after the crash of the mega-mothership." What Quinine was describing was the same battle in which the Mintcandybarri warrior Hakstabkyll had behaved dishonorably. Quinine's victory over Sweetslayer had happened much earlier, on Planet Takniss.

Quinine continued: "I am pleased to be able to inform you-- and Master Nonsmoka surely is glad to know in the afterlife of The Fuss-- that Dark Headgear, now going by his birth-name of Slick Mudpackis, is confirmed to have joined the side of good. Master Yoga-Rug has remotely told me that Slick is now part of a heroic expedition against evil in another galaxy. But that has no effect on my present business."

"And what noble business is this?" asked the King.

"Open-ended fact finding. Seeing if all is well with your star system, and with the Srirachian people to whom you now have a connection."


Jacob Droff, who was with the King, provided a partial answer: "Representatives of House Ashtrayides come out here from time to time, as when they taught the Chimpanzians how to build airplanes. And a few Directvidean girls and boys have already been selected as candidates to learn the Mentalcat disciplines."

Master Quinine smiled genially. "Speaking of candidates: the Up-Side Fraternity can always use new pattycake-awans. Perhaps, to avoid any conflict of interests, and because it IS your planet which is more intimately tied to the planets Waterpark and Srirachiss, I should hop over to Chimpanzia, to see if their people are interested in learning The Fuss. Diskoduck and Wilma can drop me there, then return to you while I'm feeling out public sentiment among the ape sapients."

"No, let them stay on Chimpanzia with you for that interval," said Lowbrain. "My nephew is well liked on Chimpanzia also."
 
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On a prairie in the south temperate zone of the apes' planet, a simple airfield had been created. Two open-cockpit airplanes, each with one propeller-driven engine fueled by locally-produced kerosene, had a large hangar to shelter them. One was out on the taxiway, about to go skyward. Three Chimpanzians were present: a middle-aged business-ape named Lekravant, his daughter Sedalia, and Sedalia's fiance Bansarios. Lekravant had funded the construction of the two airplanes from one basic Waterparkian design; Sedalia had trained to fly them; and Bansarios, after participating in the construction, had become their chief mechanic.

Also present were Diskoduck, Wilma, her crewmembers, a government clerk named Hadrianus, and Master Quinine Sauce. Quinine had already formed a good opinion of Hadrianus, whose aura bespoke honesty.

The clerk, who had made the introductions, now remarked, "The idea of propellers for flight was easy enough to assimilate, because we have seagoing steamships driven by submerged propellers. But the flaps and ailerons built into the wings were unprecedented. For someone like me, at least."

Sympathetic to the clerk, Bansarios added, "When the idea was first brought up to me, I assumed that an airplane would mechanically beat its entire wings. Birds, you know."


"Don't feel too embarrassed," said Quinine. "I hear that on Srirachiss, there ARE aircraft which flap their wings."

"I had my own odd feeling," Sedalia recollected, "about the two open cockpits. It felt wrong to have the pilot seated BEHIND the passenger. But the Ashtrayides representative assured us that the pilot would still have sufficient forward vision, and much better side, upward and downward vision."

Lekravant invited Diskoduck to be the demonstration passenger. The ambassador-duke thanked him, but replied that Wilma should ride, because she was better qualified to assess the performance of an aircraft. Sedalia and Wilma were soon aloft, settling into a racetrack flight pattern around the field. Twice around, with a few changes of altitude, and then the pilot switched from counter-clockwise to clockwise.


Quinine suddenly looked uneasy, and said to Diskoduck in the Goldarnit language, which both of them had learned in recent months: "The Fuss tells me that something may be wrong with that plane. Better be ready to use your flying power." Scarcely ten seconds later, the light plane's one motor quit.

I remind the reader that Diskoduck's recently-acquired superpowers all had strange quirks. When flying, he had to move in curves and arcs; but on the good side, he was able to move other people or objects with him. Shooting into the air, he fastened a telekinetic hold on the airplane, and led it through a GRADUAL descent. He had to change his movement arcs repeatedly, but he brought his wife and the pilot safely to the ground, with nothing worse than a little easy-to-repair damage to the fixed landing gear.


While Bansarios gratefully clung to Sedalia, and Wilma to Diskoduck, Master Quinine mentally probed Lekravant and Bansarios. As he expected, neither of them were saboteurs.

WHILE I THINK OF IT: IF I SOMEHOW KILLED OFF QUININE SAUCE EARLIER, AND FORGOT THAT I DID SO, THIS IS _OFFICIALLY_ RETCONNED SO QUININE _DIDN'T_ DIE.
 
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Hadrianus had the presence of mind to run to a shortwave radio set inside the hangar. Others followed him. Selecting a high-priority frequency, he spoke distinctly:

"Attention, all public safety offices! This is Clerk Hadrianus Tolpin, Department of Transportation, sending from Airfield Number One. Sabotage of unknown origin has disabled one of the two airplanes. Thanks to quick action by friendly visitors, no one was hurt; but the unidentified saboteurs remain at large. I recommend that central government notify friendly planets via subspace radio."

Just to keep the story moving ahead, Mister Tolpin 's boss, an elderly ape-lady, answered him personally. "Hadrianus, this is Transportation Secretary Lutrima Constilo. I received your report, and am glad to tell you that we've got a fortuitous deus-ex-machina sort of development."

"Let me guess: there are some powerful heroes about to land on Chimpanzia, who have been offstage long enough that their showing up here won't contradict any other plot arcs in progress?"

"Exactly. There are three female Fuss users, and two relatively ordinary but still useful men. The non-superpowered men are a pilot named Pro Dashalong, and an infantry major named Tex Tylus. The Fuss users are a Toofah-Roffian called Bestbaya, great-niece of the famous Yoga-Rug; Samladel Fripp, a yellow-skinned Tryyurluck; and, snaredrum roll; a convert from down-side to up-side. The last is human, a former Popquizzitor named Sweetslayer."

Diskoduck looked at Quinine Sauce. "Didn't I hear that you cut off her hand once? That seems to be an occupational hazard for Fuss users."

Quinine shrugged. "She was kind of trying to kill me at the time." Then he went back outside the hangar, to stand guard against any new phantom menace.

Wilma, fond of love stories because she was living one herself, drew near to Hadrianus in order to be heard by the Transportation Secretary. "Secretary Constilo, this is the Duke's wife and personal pilot. Quick, tell me, is Sweetslayer desperately in love with the pure-hearted warrior who defeated her but spared her life?"

"She definitely feels gratitude and respect for him, but her romantic love is given to a different good guy, Major Tylus. In fact, they're already married. Tell me, though, IS Master Quinine Sauce still unattached?"

Sedalia's father answered for the up-side master: "This is Lekravant. I happen to know that Mister Sauce is indeed unattached, AND getting tired of celibacy."

Lutrima replied, "Then this may be his lucky day. Master Plow Korn once told me that Tryyurlucks and Humans can successfully intermarry. And Samladel Fripp knows enough about Quinine's gallant career of good-guy-ness, that she greatly desires to get to know him better."

Wilma hastily stage-whispered: "Please, let Quinine Sauce find out FROM Samladel Fripp. Unless he directly asks about her, please don't tell him how she feels!"

 
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One power bestowed upon Diskoduck by the SECOND alien artifact he had encountered was X-ray vision. While everyone else was waiting for the up-siders to arrive, the Ambassador-Duke decided to fly his own circuit around the airfield, to see if he could identify any BURIED objects which might have sabotaged Sedalia's airplane. Wilma wanted to take off with Sedalia in the other plane to look after her husband, but Diskoduck told her: "Whatever endangered you two is surely programmed to attack motor-driven aircraft, not an unexpected flying man." So he flew alone, straining to distinguish everything below the soil.

In the end, he found nothing, but it had been worth trying. Quinine Sauce remarked, "Any investigator needs to eliminate some possibilities. The attacking weapon was probably discharged from a mobile platform, possibly even an overhead spacecraft with stealth capability." This being said, Quinine re-entered the hangar, so he could pass the thought along to the incoming heroes.

Soon after Pro Dashalong acknowledged the transmission, another character whom we haven't seen for many pages came on the frequency. This was the high-ranking law-enforcement officer named Antilacor, who was acquainted with Master Plow Korn.

"Master Sauce? This is Antilacor. Plow Korn mentioned you a time or two. After our crisis with Fooldemall the Face Twister, we started training certain tame animals to distinguish known intelligent races from unknown creatures by smell. In case there's a similar threat active now, those animals are going to be put on alert."


"Good idea," said Quinine. "And when Pro Dashalong lands at your spaceport, you should have your hunting beasts introduced to the Toofah-Roffian and the Tryyurluck, adding to the animals' internal smell-database."

"While I have you on the frequency, we just got a reply from Directvideo to our subspace transmission reporting Sedalia and Wilma's close call. A gentleman from Groan Starr's native space-region happened to be visiting King Lowbrain's court; now he's interested in our mystery. He knows what Face Twisters are, and is interested in joining our investigation. He might be able to help unmask any Face Twister who's in our midst."

"Does he have any special talents?"

"Yes, he's a swordsman. Familiar with those body-screens which blow up if a beam weapon hits them, but which will stop material weapons unless the weapons move slowly enough. He is called Count Havabeer."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
 
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Pro Dashalong's ship landed close to the airfield of interest, hours before before Count Havabeer arrived from Directvideo. Antilacor was also there by now. None of Pro's current crew members had ever been to this star system, so Pro told them to go ashore and start satisfying their curiosity. He would attend to all after-landing shutdown procedures himself.

Bestbaya was the first non-crewmember to step onto the grass. She was almost three feet tall, a robust height for a near-adult of Yoga-Rug's race. Together with the human spacers, she immediately began making acquaintance with the onlooking Chimpanzians. Bestbaya mostly spoke with Antilacor, since he was known to have worked with Master Plow Korn.

Major Tylus advanced with a dignified air, flanked by the other two Fuss users. Sweetslayer Tylus now had a fully functional prosthetic hand. Samladel Fripp fastened her deep-blue eyes on Quinine Sauce, while her head-tails swung from side to side with excitement.

Tex Tylus gave a military salute to Quinine, then said, "Master Sauce, my wife wishes to tell you something which even a non-Fuss-user can tell is fully sincere." He glanced at Sweetslayer, who knelt before her vanquisher.

"Noble Quinine Sauce, I am here to thank you from the core of my spirit for letting me live to begin my NEW life. Subordinate to love and loyalty for my husband, I am your ally for life."

Deliberately clasping his former foe's artificial hand, Quinine raised her to her feet. "I am profoundly delighted to see you now on the side of good, and I know that you will be mindful to benefit from Tex Tylus' wisdom and integrity. Major Tylus, if you still are as methodical as I remember you, I can look forward to viewing a summary video of your most recent adventures against the adherents of Evil Badness."

Tex nodded. "Sir, that will be made available at a suitable time."

Joining his crew, Pro Dashalong approached Antilacor. "As we entered atmosphere, your government notified us that a prominent fighter from the Frank Herbert-based sub-reality is going to offer his services to your authorities. His people have modern weapons, but seem still to favor melee combat."

"That's right. In that civilization's earlier history, when evil robots menaced humanity, the humans found that, given strong enough blades, sword fighters could surprise the attacking robots and wreck their control systems." The ape-cop shrugged. "Whatever works in their story-verse."
 
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During the process of getting acquainted, Wilma Dearthing told the newcomers about her husband's peculiar salad bar of superpowers. This made Diskoduck a sudden center of attention, especially the spaceship crewmembers who have not been individually named. Samladel Fripp, however, zeroed in on Quinine Sauce.

Quinine, who certainly did not DISLIKE Samladel, made it easy for her by providing a neutral subject for conversation. "How were things with Moose and Melodica when you saw them last?" Note to readers: Master Moose Windchime and his newly Fuss-gifted bride Melodica had been using a captured light warship, originally named Wanton Violence, to conduct raids on the Empire of Evil Badness. When Samladel answered Quinine's question, she referred to the ship as Adjustment, the new name privately bestowed by the good guys.

"They came to a point of diminishing returns; the Imperials were starting to catch on. So they withdrew to a free planet, where the former slaves on board could find new homes and employment. Adjustment made a hasty trip to Takniss, where they picked up loved ones of the crew for transfer to the new planet. After the mass reunion, Adjustment became the first ship in a new navy. As far as I know, Moose and Melodica still are there. Not only are they hoping to cultivate some of the former slaves as pattycake-awans in The Fuss; Master Moose also intends to teach some of them how to play blues guitar. Both of them were discussing having children when I last saw them."

Passing by them, Bestbaya heard enough of their talk to drop a relevant comment: "I won't be ready for motherhood for at least another thirty of my homeworld's years; but I'm all for it when the time comes. I am SO glad that we're not bound by that ridiculous Original Earth idea that Fuss users shouldn't get married and start families!"

"I totally agree with you," Samladel declared.

When she faced Quinine Sauce again, it was to see that he had moved back one step from where he had been standing; but his gaze in her direction was not cold or off-putting.

"Adept Fripp--"

"Please don't do that! Please don't insist on last names!"

"I'm only applying a bit of calmness to our conversation..... SAMLADEL.... because Fuss users can sense each other's emotions. I believe you're aware that one of your fellow Tryyurlucks, Noherra Synthmusica, married an Earthman in the Bubblewrap Coalition. Yes, it can be done successfully; no, it is not wrong for you to desire a man's love; no, your mate would not have to be a fellow Fuss user, as Tex Tylus marrying Sweetslayer demonstrates; but yes, both being Fuss users would be a major compatibility point."

Only after he said this much did Samladel take a step which re-closed the distance between them. "I can sense from you that-- the IDEA is not repugnant to you. So I can give you time."

"Well and good. I'm not seeing anyone else, nor expect to be, any time soon. Perhaps you and I can converse further after the present mystery is unraveled."
 
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~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One of the several Naughtygator jump-ships under the command of the young Duke Stillneater brought the new Ashtrayides delegation to Directvideo. The most prominent persons in this party were Princess Eerilake and the lately-mentioned Havabeer. Both of these high-born persons had transferred their loyalty from the old Calamari dynasty to House Ashtrayides: partly from self-interest, but not ONLY self-interest.

Materializing in a parking orbit over Directvideo, Eerilake, Havabeer and a handful of male and female secretaries took a shuttle down to the royal palace. Although Eerilake was viewed positively by the Directvidean royal household, Havabeer was new to this planet, so of his own accord he handed over to the palace guards the sword and dagger he wore. "Careful handling these. They're heavier than you would expect; they're made from the same alloy as the outer hull of a Spaced-Out Guild jump-ship. Based on what we know about Fuss users and their sub-reality, we believe that this alloy is very similar to what they call Naskar, able to withstand hits from a lightsaber."

After the visitors had been announced, King Lowbrain said to Havabeer, "My son-in-law Groaner has mentioned you. It seems your wife left you for a man who had the unfair advantage of being mostly indestructible. You have my condolences; my late Queen was always faithful ."


"Thank you, Your Majesty. I owe Serrimu nothing now. Perhaps one day I'll find true love. But the longevity benefits of The Jalapeno mean that I have quite a few years left in which I might find someone true-hearted. In the short term, I would appreciate the use of a database which summarizes the history of your people's interactions with the Chimpanzians."

Havabeer's request being granted, Eerilake indulged in socializing with women of the Directvidean capital. Concurrently with this, forensic investigators from the King's law-enforcement network made ready for a visit to the neighbor planet.


When the time came, everyone departing Directvideo embarked in the Naughtygator ship, for a VERY quick in-system hop. Captain Dashalong, who had already worked with Naughtygators, rendezvoused with the jump-ship in Chimpanzian orbit, offering to carry down some of the investigators' laboratory gear. Eerilake once more handled the diplomatic-mingling part with Chimpanzian leaders, but those leaders were themselves concerned with the mystery of WHO had sabotaged the airplane piloted by Sedalia.

Count Havabeer made a good impression, despite having little experience with nonhumans. Quinine, Samladel and Sweetslayer were all acquainted with Naskar metal, and concluded that Havabeer's blades were as close as no matter to being authentic Naskar.

"Are you interested in a practical test?" asked Tex.


"Meaning survivability of my weapons? Of course."

The sword and dagger were made in the same fashion, so the dagger was tested as being the more expendable. Havabeer set the super-knife upon a flat stone. Tex Tylus waved Sweetslayer forward. Activating her new Fuss ring, Sweetslayer formed a lightsaber, and struck over-arm blows at the blade. Six blows left the dagger heated, but still in its original shape.

"Maybe wear heat-proof gauntlets if you go up against a hostile Fuss user," Tex muttered to Havabeer.
 
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As the investigation continued, a female Chimpanzian oncologist named Babette Sprish had an idea. She brought it up to a Directvidean man called Hoskamark, one of the forensics experts who had arrived with Eerilake and Havabeer.

"I know that you have monitoring sensors worn by persons who work near nuclear reactors, able to detect traces of charged-particle radiation far below a life-threatening level. Duchess Wilma and Pilot Sedalia obviously were not killed in their mishap, but if any particle-beam shot was involved in disabling their aircraft, might there not be traces of radioactivity in their flesh?"

Hoskamark ran with her suggestion, for which he gave her credit. After some technical stuff was performed, he reported that the two women in the incident had in fact been exposed to a slight dose of alpha particles. At last, a lead.

Picking up on this, Pro Dashalong had his crew bring out a medium-weight particle cannon, which they carried in case of needing to take part in planetside combat. Antilacor arranged for the new aircraft-manufacturing combine to make just-fabricated engines available for an experiment.
A shooting range was set up, with the engines as targets. To reflect the conditions of the sabotage incident, every shot fired at the engines was from a distance of a mile or farther. The engines were indeed adversely affected by the directed radiation. This was far from identifying the culprits, but it was progress.

Tex Tylus told Antilacor, "I can't imagine why any of your own people would want to ruin your aviation project; same goes for your close neighbors. It has to be someone from a different star system." Supporting her husband's line of thought, Sweetslayer added, "Maybe this lurking enemy wants to prevent Chimpanzia from achieving independent space-travel capability, so that the Chimpanzians can't assist the Directvideans in an emergency."


"In all probability," said Eerilake, "it will be a long time before we can track down the enemy. Captain Dashalong, please remain in this neighborhood for now, as I know Count Havabeer intends to do. I'll have the Naughtygators transport me back to Ashtrayides territory, to request additional support."

Stepping alongside Samladel, Sweetslayer whispered, "It appears that we're about to be offstage for at least a few days. I urge you to spend the time proactively. In my case, I had to assure Tex that I didn't look down on him for not having Fuss powers; you don't have that obstacle. With a bit of narrative luck, I'll bet you can be engaged to Quinine Sauce by the time the story's viewpoint returns to us."
 
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===> You may recall that, concerning the Punksteeman country of Samplibam, the author has informed you that the people there, without realizing it, live with a blend of Original Earth's Japanese and Mexican cultures-- although they LOOK LIKE Original Earth Africans.

One area of daily life displaying this mixture was their sleeping habits. Women, small children, married couples and some single girls would sleep in beds with mattresses. Older boys, unattached men, and the rest of the young women slept on futons. Elderly persons could opt for either style as they chose. Poorer people often resorted to hammocks.


As we rejoin the Towermen and other characters on a night in southwestern Samplibam, enough time has passed for stuff to happen like Donnie Tonka being able to start up a bakery on the Yagahodo estate, and for Diego Smith to gain useful knowledge about metalworking. Also, before Shogun Wajitujit Firahoba ended his visit, Sir Ronald presented his second magnum revolver to the ruler as a gift, with several bullets, so that royal craftsmen could learn to manufacture identical weapons. In return, the Shogun had given Ronald an over-and-under breech-loading two-shot pistol similar to the one carried by Toshiram Yagahodo. The return gift carried prestige; it had been the very first gun of its type ever to be carried by a member of the royal family.

Since Klemrath, Diego's elder cousin, carried only muzzle-loading flintlock pistols as firearms, Field-Guide Nefekor gave him a two-shot pistol similar to the special one, albeit less costly.


Towerman Ilya Trostel had later offered to give the second magnum revolver back to his mentor. But Ronald had replied, "No, you keep it. Towermen and Smoke Maidens are not defined by particular weapons, but by their code of righteousness. And I already have my new tactics in mind. Kill foes at a distance with my repeating rifle; if the rifle runs empty while foes are still pressing, then draw my rapier and two-shot pistol as enemies come closer; after emptying the pistol into opposing gunmen, fill my left hand with my poniard just before they close with me."

" " " " " " " " " " " " "

Wyatt Hickok was sleeping in an outdoor hammock, in company with several Yagahodo laborers, when a woman appeared in his dreams: an elderly woman, with features like an Original Earth woman if she had mixed European and Asian blood. In his dream, Wyatt sensed that she was really speaking in a language unknown to him, but the magic involved enabled him to understand her perfectly. She oddly looked a little tired.


"Noble knight of Sir Edgar's creed, I am the lawful-good sorceress Rizlaya Tohir, servant and friend to General William Seldunin of Prethlonstead in Felruda. I chose you to call out to, because your experience with the Colorless Quezalcoatl has left you spiritually sensitive. I am exerting myself in this way because two magic-users with whom I often team up, are not available for this purpose. T'Pinnok Zur of Hukshem, unless assisted, only has power while he sleeps, and it is daytime in his part of the world. As for Felipe Catalano of Gromstark-- well, he is part of the news I shall report."

"Is there some crisis on that side of the world?" asked Wyatt.

"No crisis, the Creator be thanked, but news of some importance." She smiled. "It is chiefly a report of love."

"Then let's hear the good news."


"First, you may tell Billyboy Jeralo that his betrothed, Judy Lightheart, is in Valtork at this time. She is in respectable company, earning her place by singing, while she waits for fresh word of how she can best be reunited with Billyboy. And yes, she is true to him.

"The Bamulicans are gradually progressing homeward, inquiring as they go for any news of Bloody Digger activity. And they have arranged for Otto Kergoff's dagger to be delivered to his Nizozuan foster family, as a remembrance of his valor. Further about love: Lady Dorothy Malgriff is now desperately in love with Lieutenant Varlock Patterson of the Sagrum Rangers, and is steadily wearing down his resistance, if any. You never met Varlock, but he is a brave and chivalrous officer, fully worthy of a fair maiden's love." Rizlaya herself looked younger as she spoke, in her happiness for other people finding happiness. "Yes, I have known true love also."

"From what I know about Zoralee Jeralo, she will be tickled to hear that her main rival for Ronald's heart is no longer interested in my gun-brother."


Mistress Tohir's smile turned mischievous. "There's always more beneath the surface, my virtuous Towerman. It can happen that a woman who is complacent in her beauty and her talents, finds it useful to permit men to feel desire for her, though she has no intention of reciprocating their feelings. Especially when they can be useful to her. If such a woman is halfway decent, she won't make any false offers to them. But she will passively allow them to dream of her and yearn for her, and behold, they 'just happen' to perform valuable services for her."

A metaphorical lightbulb (remember, some nations on Punksteema have lightbulbs) went on over Wyatt's head. "Oh! You mean that other mage, Mister Catalano, the one from Gromstark."


"None other. As long as Felipe's heart was on her leash, Zoralee could play with his feelings. Now, however, not only has Felipe been permanently liberated from forlorn desire for the lady detective --just wait till you hear WHO has liberated him."

"I have no idea. A fellow magic-user?"

"No. Felipe has gained, not merely infatuation, but profound appreciation mixed with attraction, from..... QUEEN SOTAVALIT OF MIFDOLA."

"Well, shoot my pancakes with a crossbow! A queen falling for him! Um, does he return Her Majesty's affection?"


Rizlaya looked still younger. "With hundred percent interest on the investment! They've had time to get to know each other more than superficially. He respects her just and humane leadership of her people, while she HUGELY respects his modest personality, and of course his ability to discover information helpful to her government. The Queen Mother also approves of him. They are to be married in less than three days' time. Felipe doesn't aspire to be called a king; but as Prince Consort AND Royal Soothsayer, he will not lack prestige."

Wyatt nodded solemnly. "Now, I do believe that Ronald really is the man Zoralee wants. But no question about it, she IS going to realize that Felipe Catalano definitely traded upward."


"Absolutely! And I almost forgot one other morsel of news. Have you been told about Felipe's warrior cousin and best friend, Snake-Hand Lopez? There's a family known to him and Felipe, back in Gromstark. Some time ago, Snake-Hand, born Ysidro, defended the honor of a daughter of that family, Mercedes by name, by killing some hooligans who seriously needed killing. Mercedes, who already admired Ysidro before that, has by now reached marriageable age, and her parents are imploring Ysidro to marry her. None other than Felipe has gotten involved there, telling Ysidro-- and Felipe wouldn't lie-- that he knows Mercedes would be a very good wife. And Ysidro desires to have many children."
 
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The ronin Jonawiku still was around. In the morning he breakfasted on fish he caught himself, which he shared with some of the Yagahodo laborers. After this, he personally mucked out the stable, then bathed in the river where he had caught the fish. Later, he lunched with the estate's ironworkers, to find that Donnie Tonka had brought them a batch of cookies he had made. Accepting one cookie for himself, Jonawiku had the strangest feeling, as if a wise woman had given him this cookie so that he would stop worrying about a friend dying to save him or something like that. But no menacing strangers showed up wearing dark glasses, so he forgot the whole train of thought.

Locals and visitors alike were buzzing about the revelatory dream which Wyatt Hickok had experienced. Zoralee Jeralo was hanging on Ronald like a raincoat, while Billyboy questioned the host family about ways to travel from here to Valtork. Eventually, Jonawiku gave Ronald some relief by requesting a friendly wrestling match. This drew many spectators.

The ronin's jujitsu mostly outperformed the gunslinger's wrestling style, but it was not one-sided. More than once, Ronald broke Jonawiku's holds by sheer strength, and of course, the gunslinger was accepting a disadvantage by not using his rock-hard fists. Anyway, all the watchers got to see lively action. Afterwards, before Zoralee had time to renew HER grip on the Towerman, Jonawiku asked a question through Mistress Mukuma:

"Ronald of Goliad, do you intend to cross back over the north pole with Billyboy?"

"I haven't decided," Ronald answered. "In his beast form, Billyboy would have a very good chance of surviving the trip all by himself; and when he arrived, and resumed human shape, his clothes would magically reappear on him. But it would take a lot of time; and Zoralee would like to witness her brother's reunion with his sweetheart. There must be a swifter way of reuniting him with Miss Lightheart."

The discussion did not go much further before shouts of 'Tengu!" burst out. The voices were not fearful, since the Tengu were not evil; but they were concerned, because Tengu sometimes came to bring warnings of danger.

Lord Toshiram stepped into the open, and the Tengu, a female named Ritsuhai who had visited here in the past, landed in front of him.

"Worthy Toshiram Yagahodo, the Lopahiru are in distress!" She was referring to a clan friendly with the Yagahodo, but not adjacent. "My brothers are speaking to the intervening neighbor clans, asking them to permit your men to cross their property."

"What is the danger?"

"Creatures not familiar to us," Ritsuhai answered. "Shaped like men, but not as ugly....."


Lady Noombi muttered to her daughters, "Tastes vary."

".....They burst up out of the earth in the middle of a pasture, and began killing the livestock, which at least gave the Lopahiru enough warning to barricade themselves for defense."

"Bloody Diggers!" exclaimed Zoralee.

"Warrior Hickok!" Toshiram barked. "Please, ask Ronald to muster his own lads, with Klemrath, Donnie, the Jeralos, and the spear-women, to defend this estate in case the danger extends this far. They already know the lay of the land here, and this will free me and my men to head north. Ritsuhai, can you stay here also, to keep watch from above?"


"Yes, I will. And my brothers know to warn you if any landlord on the straightest route refuses to let you cross through, so you can take the Shogun's highway instead."

"Very good. You, Hickok, will accompany me and my household warriors, since you can speak our tongue. Goodwife Mukuma, please translate between my people staying here and the foreign guests." As he spoke, war horses were being saddled.


Wyatt hastily told Mukuma: "The very first thing to tell the Yagahodos is go to the upper floors of the house, NOT the cellar!"

Jonawiku addressed the Tengu: "Ritsuhai, are your brothers confident that the other landlords will allow Toshiram to pass?"

"Almost
absolutely certain; they may even add their warriors to his force, to meet the threat on Lopahiru soil."

Jonawiku turned toward Toshiram. "By your leave, I wish to remain where I can protect Mother Mukuma. Since the Towermen fought those goblin-things before, the goblins may really intend to strike here after a diversion in the north. Which would endanger the wise woman."

Toshiram nodded, then donned his sombrero. "That sounds likely, Ronin Jonawiku. Follow your own judgment, and my family members here will be that much better off by your presence."

"And if there is a second attack here," said Ritsuhai, "one or two of my brothers will know it very soon, and will fly this way to help your people."
 
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