Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

The only battle-capable members of Toshiram's family to remain at the manor were Kenchur Yagahodo and his cousin-fiancee Boshiru Inomura, who was born to the prosperous goat-raising family. Of Toshiram's retainers who were battle-capable, only the eldest, a spear expert named Ashimoko, stayed behind. But Ronald of Goliad and all who had come to Samplibam with him were at the manor, joined by Jonawiku, so the non-combatants were far from defenseless, even if no Tengu joined them in action.

Ritsuhai did accompany Toshiram overhead as he led his warriors north on horseback. An hour later, she returned, to inform Kenchur and Jonawiku that the Yagahodo cavalry company was being granted right-of-way across other fiefdoms, in order to expedite help for the Lopahiru.

Boshiru urgently asked the girl Tengu, "Is anyone looking out for my father's household? Even though they are not in a straight line from Lopahiru territory, their caves might be seen by underground monsters as a shortcut."

Ritsuhai's eyes widened. "Neither I nor my brothers thought about that! I shall fly to your birthplace at once. We Tengu can sense changes in the earth, so I will know it if goblins tunnel toward your father's home, and I can warn your kinsfolk." (Your author assures you now that Ritsuhai was not too late; before any Bloody Diggers ventured within House Inomura's boundaries, the humans were ready to defend against them. Four emerging Diggers even ended up getting impaled on the sharp horns of large male goats, and of course the swords of Ritsuhai and other intervening Tengu accounted for many others. Two Inomura swordsmen died repelling this attack, but we can't have the side of good NEVER suffer casualties.)

Waiting uneasily to learn if they were a target, Lady Noombi and others of Toshiram's household asked their guests many questions about the Bloody Diggers. With Mukuma interpreting, Zoralee recounted what she had learned about Lord Prendok Fegsor's treasonous actions, and how Prendok had found refuge with the goblins. Nishri and Feshri described most of the battle against the Bloody Diggers outside Oxhide Spring in Gahurr; Klemrath related how Otto had perished fighting the Rogbal, and how Ronald had slain the Rogbal in return. Finally, speaking for herself, Mukuma told how she had joined the Towermen on their journey.
 
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As soon as they had ensured that Toshiram's force would have unrestricted passage to the Lopahiru fiefdom, Ritsuhai's brothers raced north, to join whatever Tengu were already helping the beleaguered Lopahiru.

The swiftest and strongest of the Tengu involved on the scene, a male named Chatahem, had not been among those bearing the alert to southern fiefdoms. His wife, Zutozar, had been the very first Tengu to sense that goblins were digging upward from deep under the Lopahiru manor. She had uttered a long-range alarm cry which was heard by Ritsuhai's brothers, covering that plot detail; then she had set out for the Firahoba Palace to alert Shogun Wajitujit. Meanwhile, Chatahem had streaked toward the likely emergence point of the Bloody Diggers.

He did not quite arrive ahead of the Diggers; but as has been told, the Diggers had miscalculated their breakthrough, giving the humans time to run for cover. Before the subhuman marauders could form up and correct their aim by simply charging across the surface, Chatahem had inflicted wounds on six of them by hurling broad shuriken from above. Then he had hastened to where the Samplibami defenders were throwing barricades together. He gave them the same warning as Wyatt Hickok had given to the Yagahodo: not to remain on ground level.

The Lopahiru armory contained no infantry-scale firearms, but a surplus of good-quality bows and arrows. One of the Lopahiru archers gave a set of these to Chatahem, who got airborne again and began shooting down at the advancing monsters.

But it had not occurred to anyone present that a human evildoer might have TAUGHT THE DIGGERS how to manufacture firearms.

None of the goblins raiding farther south possessed guns; but elsewhere, their three best marksmen were already seeking a sniper position, from which to pick off some of the royal warriors who were sure to come to House Lopahiru's aid. Seven other gun-carrying Diggers were..... directly below Chatahem.

Before any of these seven could begin trying to track their aerial target, one of them died by Chatahem's second arrow. But the Tengu didn't know to look out for goblins having flintlock muskets; his first, third, fourth, fifth and sixth kills were of Diggers who didn't have guns anyway. And then the surviving goblin musketeers all fired at once.

Mortally hurt, Chatahem still got off a last arrow, which disabled one more gun-goblin. Falling, he drew his sword and split the skull of another Digger. As they mobbed him, he tore one last enemy's throat open with his sharp beak.

Furious Lopahiru bowmen killed the rest of the gun-wielding invaders. But more goblins continued ascending into open air. An additional nine of these carried flintlocks. Now the human defenders knew to concentrate arrow volleys on these; but three defenders were slain by musket balls, and as many injured, before the additional gun-goblins fell.

Meanwhile, the gallant bird-person arrived in The Good Place, to be welcomed by Haruyaso.
 
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As nearly as Bloody Diggers could come to really being fond of a human, the Digger tribe with which Prendok Fegsor had cast his lot was fond of him. Since the defeat at Oxhide Spring, Prendok and his men had shown the goblins how to make firearms within their crafting skill, and had furnished them with useful information about loot and supplies to be found in the surface lands close to Mifdola.

Moreover, the Diggers had someone else much more suitable to dislike: the Frantic Druids. Prendok had to some extent shared his allies' peril, by scouting the chosen battlefield north of Oxhide Spring before the Diggers and the Rogbal had launched their assault, and making sure that Black-Thumb Stedriff's gang was in place. After Burzu Yunsh and Sir Ronald slew the Rogbal, Prendok's men had even served in the retreat as stretcher bearers for wounded goblins. The Frantic Druids, by contrast, had not exposed themselves to ANY peril that day; and no Frantic Druid had shown up since then to offer any new assistance.

Besides sharing the Diggers' wish to wipe out the Towermen's order, Prendok's band of human brigands wanted to eliminate people who had been helpful to Queen Sotavalit of Mifdola. This definitely included the Jeralo siblings and Donnie Tonka. And since the Frantic Druids were unreliable, it made sense to acquire technology which didn't keep them and the goblins dependent on magic-users. In this connection, the Drovalish woman hcalled Sazka, the lens maker, currently dwelling in Mifdola, was of interest. Possessing telescopes should be especially advantageous for Digger scouting parties venturing above ground.

Zoralee Jeralo and her werebeast brother were much closer at hand right now than Sazka faf-Boli or the meddlesome knowledge-wizard Felipe Catalano. Bloody Digger espionage had revealed Billyboy's restoration to humanity, with its option to change back if desired. So Billyboy still was a threat, yet not an insurmountable one. Though magical enough to be able to injure weapon-resistant creatures, this werebeast was not himself weapon-proof. Bloody Diggers who had lost comrades to Billyboy at Oxhide Spring would be delighted to shoot Billyboy in the guts. Prendok, for his part, cherished the fantasy of behaving badly toward Zoralee. All the better if Sir Ronald had embarked on a romance with Zoralee, so that either would be tormented by seeing the other one die.

Time to focus on the present, though. Soon the Diggers with Prendok would begin angling their excavation upward.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = =

On the grounds of Toshiram Yagahodo's house, Jonawiku the son of Mofiruzo prowled alone, with a strung bow in hand and thirty-three long arrows in his quiver. The widowed ronin fought best alone, when he need not worry about friends getting killed; but he had accepted the loan of a sturdy knife belonging to Ashimoko the spearman, "in case two or more opponents get so lucky as to come close to you."

Because the manor house had a completely stone-lined cellar, it was improbable that the goblins would waste valuable time breaking through there. But Wyatt Hickok's warning to vacate the main floor still applied, since the attackers would surface as close to the house as they could, so as to rush in all at once. The defenders had stretched ropes left and right across the main staircase and the back stairs, in order to have a chance to shoot Bloody Diggers as they cut through this obstacle. In addition, everything had been doused with water, so it would not be easy for the enemy to set the house on fire.

Jonawiku's feet were tough enough to tolerate going barefoot, even on rocky terrain. When the soles of his feet sensed movement underground, he did something he had told Kenchur and Ashimoko to expect. He tossed a stone through a particular second-story window that was unshuttered for this purpose. This meant: They're coming. May emerge any time now. I will move as quietly as I can farther away from the house, so I can shoot at them from behind as they come up.
 
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Lord Prendok had arranged it with Bloody Digger leaders that every Digger near the front of the attack was someone who had seen Ronald and-or Zoralee and-or Billyboy at the Battle of Oxhide Spring. If the goblins could do so without undue risk to themselves, they were to capture those three alive. One further suggestion: delay actual emergence a little, but make some noise, while four or five of the best tunnelers branched off to one side. Those would make their own breakthrough a minute after the main onslaught commenced.

To give him credit, Prendok went farther forward than any of his human companions went. He was the fourth person into the sunlight when they broke out. As cover for his goblin allies while they deployed, he instantly opened fire toward the windows of the house. One of his shots went toward the roof, for a reason to be told below. Emptying two five-shot revolvers, Prendok then holstered those weapons, took a reserve pistol in his left hand, and drew a slightly curved sword about the same length as Klemrath's straight one. By this time, a total of eighteen Bloody Diggers were in the open air, plus one of Prendok's men. The Diggers with muskets, and the human outlaw beside them, fired shots timed apart to keep the defenders' heads down while they advanced closer to the porch.

One goblin was wounded by a shot from Diego's rifle, and another was wounded by an arrow from Miss Boshiru's bow. It took another moment, however, for the first wave to realize that some of their friends farther back were already dead. It turned out that additional raiders, including the third human to emerge, were being silently slain by hard-driven war arrows penetrating their heads. Those not yet fully out had to shove the corpses aside. Even as Prendok was noticing this, another arrow instantly killed one of the senior Diggers in the lead.

If Jonawiku could have seen the Original Earth horror movie "Predator," he would have appreciated the line, "Do you have time to duck?" Judging perfectly the instant when his targets detected him, he took evasive action half a second before two musket balls whacked into the tree he had been close to.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Inside the house, Lady Noombi Yagahodo had previously shown Ronald a trapdoor to get onto the roof. She then lent him a spare bolt-action rifle to supplement the lever-action weapon he had inherited from the late Connor McLucas. Before the first emergence, he scuttled around the roof to see if any foes were approaching whom other humans might not be in a position to spot; but the side attack had not yet begun.

Just after Prendok and the earliest goblins came up, Ronald squeezed off a shot from the heavy single-shot rifle. He didn't wait to see the effect of his bullet; that shot was mainly to draw fire. It definitely drew Prendok's fire, as indicated above. Shifting laterally, he double-tapped three goblins with the repeater, two shots each, to make sure each of those was dead or at least disabled. Then it was back to where the bolt-action rifle waited for him. Bullet in the chamber, then a hasty shot which at least flesh-wounded another Bloody Digger. As the most exposed of the defenders (even Jonawiku had trees to shelter behind), Ronald was not about to stand up and shout, "Here I am, hurry up and kill me!" Keeping the enemy uncertain of how many shooters were on the roof was good enough.

Talusek was the first defender to spot the secondary attack emerging. Making the call, he discharged both barrels of his side-by-side gun, critically injuring the first goblin who rose into view. Lady Noombi herself came alongside Talusek as he reloaded, and from the next window over she fired an old flintlock pistol, wounding another enemy. Failing to duck fast enough, she had her right ear taken off by a musket ball. Talusek sprang to stop her bleeding, while Klemrath took his place. Diego's elder cousin rapidly fired the five shots he could fire without reloading, at least slowing down two more goblins. Overhead, Ronald relocated to defend that side; the two shots in his big royal derringer slew the last fully-functional Digger on that side. After this, Ronald got off one more front-side shot from the bolt-action rifle, killing another of the human outlaws; then he descended back inside the house, to reinforce whatever vulnerable spot might next become evident.

The main enemy force, besides still being shot at by Jonawiku, took heavy fire from the house. Ronald, Zoralee, Diego, Ilya, Donnie, Ashimoko, Nishri and Feshri shot as near to continuously as they could from their assorted firearms, while D'Kovo, Kenchur and Boshiru kept arrows flying. Reloading his double-barrelled weapon, and getting the children to move the wounded-but-not-dying Noombi to an inner room, Talusek resumed watch at his position, with his sword set where he could handily snatch it up if necessary. Klemrath gave Talusek one of his old-model pistols, freshly loaded, before going to join the main action.

In a plan made clear to everyone, Billyboy alone waited on the main floor. If any Bloody Diggers broke in the front door, it would be their doorway to The Bad Place.

Darting back and forth along the nearby tree line, Jonawiku accounted for another eighteen Bloody Diggers and one more human evildoer before his arrows were used up. He was just able to retrieve two arrows shot by his friends, and put them into hearts of bad guys, before three intact goblins closed in on him, wielding spiked clubs. Right then, the ronin was grateful to have Ashimoko's strongly-made knife, and not have to depend on NOTHING BUT his empty-hand skills to face those weapons.

Don't worry, readers, Jonawiku does take down these adversaries; but we have other deeds to report.
 
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After using up their bullets and arrows, Kenchur and Ashimoko were the first ones to join Billyboy in the foyer. Kenchur now carried a spear like Ashimoko's. The younger man had also brought hatchets as backup weapons for himself and the elder warrior. Mukuma came down to translate between the werebeast and the two household warriors.

"Billyboy, once they break through this door, do you want to lunge first, or let the spearmen thrust first?"

"Tell them to let me lead. I'll use all my animal strength to push them back, and I'm not afraid of being surrounded. Let my comrades here skewer whoever first gets past me." Mukuma passed this to the Samplibami men.

Ashimoko said to Mukuma, "Ask one or more people with stabbing and thrusting weapons to join us here. These compact hatchets don't have a big swinging arc, but cudgels or longer-hafted axes would increase the danger of hitting friends. Go!"

Nishri and Feshri, who had used up all their bullets, were the first reinforcements to show up. Their javelins would of course work for thrusting, and they were provided with knives like the one Ashimoko had given to Jonawiku. They were stationed together on one side of the front room, so they would prevail or die together. Donnie Tonka, the next arrival after them, took his place with his prospective bride and his prospective sister-in-law. His grin of confidence was as sharp as the sword he held ready.

When Zoralee showed up with her cutlass, Billyboy asked her, "Where's Ronald?"

"NOT hiding in fear, I promise. I think he's managed to signal Jonawiku, so those two can try some kind of flanking counterattack."

"Then may God protect His own children, especially His doomrat children!" exclaimed Billyboy, and made his change-- seconds before the heavy front door began to split apart. Klemrath hurried in at the last moment; he and Zoralee came on guard with their short swords.

The first Bloody Digger through the door was wielding a spiked club like the ones Jonawiku had just had to contend with. He never got to use it; he was too busy bleeding out, after the human-souled super-rodent ripped open his left femoral artery. At the same time, Kenchur and Ashimoko ran their spears through the next two goblin throats. The first goblin coming near to Zoralee and Klemrath was a particularly large one, so the woman and man both hacked at his arms as he wielded a two-handed axe.

Outside, Ilya Trostel, who had experience climbing the rigging of ships, joined Ronald in the outdoor counterattack from the roof. Jonawiku ran to join them, carrying the spiked club of one of his latest kills. Ronald cleared the road with his over-and-under pistol, slaying a human villain who would have shot the ronin. Then Ronald drew his new cut-and-thrust sword and his trusty old poniard. With Ilya's axe on his left, and Jonawiku's club on his right, the gunslinger-knight waded into the press, requiring the Bloody Diggers to divide their own forces.
 
Good guys can get killed. Cheaply-gained victories are not as glorious. But the defenders' casualties would have been far worse, if not for their benefits of advance warning and superior firepower.

Two good guys perished, both of them in the brunt of opposing the invasion of the manor house. When Zoralee was knocked to the floor, Klemrath of Lower Wenzeppu died saving her, taking a disembowelled goblin out with him. Ashimoko rammed his spear all the way through two Bloody Diggers, pushed them both clear through the doorway and onto the porch, and bowled more goblins off their feet before a musket shot felled him. This left Donnie Tonka and Kenchur Yagahodo as the leading defenders of the foyer.

Not many Bloody Diggers were making it past the whirling, biting, ripping Billyboy. The first new assailant to get inside was impaled by Kenchur's spear; the second was run through the heart by Donnie; the third was impaled by BOTH of the "Javelin Sisters," but broke their javelin shafts as he fell; the fourth had to be slain by Donnie again, while Kenchur strove to pull his own spear ouf of the carcass it had penetrated. That fourth adversary also injured Donnie before he died; but then Talusek was here to take over. The eldest of Ronald's trainees dispatched two more goblins with his sword-- and suddenly, there weren't any more of them trying to get inside.

Billyboy had slain no fewer than eight of the subhuman savages by himself. All other surviving and ambulatory Bloody Diggers who had not escaped back underground, were now being dealt with by Ronald, Jonawiku, Ilya..... AND three Tengu who had arrived. These three had just come from helping the also-endangered Inomaru Clan.

For the few goblins captured alive, sparing them for forced labor was an option on the table. All surviving human outlaws appeared to have retreated into the tunnel as well........

.....except for Prendok Fegsor, who seemed unwounded but had been caught. Five members of the household, including a nine-year-old girl, were keeping him covered with flintlock pistols.

Mukuma and young Diego Smith walked over from the house. By way of Zoralee who could speak Mifdolan, the youngest Towerman declared, "You are to blame for my cousin's death, and you are the murderer of your native land's king. You are not seriously injured. I demand satisfaction."

Even Jonawiku found this challenge startling. Through Mukuma: "Are you saying you want to FIGHT A DUEL with him? But his life is already forfeit. Why should he be permitted one more chance even to TRY to slay someone better than himself?"

Diego replied, "He should not only die; he should die humiliated, punished by a beardless youth."

Brought up to speed on what was happening, Ronald said, "I can allow this only if the duel is so ordered as to give both of you an equal chance."

"One way or the other," argued the missionary, "since at present he is powerless to harm anyone else, I demand that he be granted a chance to repent and save his soul before he dies." Jonawiku surprised many on his own side, including the Tengu, by avidly supporting this request. Zoralee stepped in again, and translated for Prendok everything Mukuma said about the Lord Ishwa, also known as Yeshua or Jesus or Aslan, atoning for sin, rising from the dead, and offering forgiveness. Lady Boshiru was among hearers favorably impressed by the gospel message.

Prendok Fegsor's jeering answer could never be posted on The Dancing Lawn.
 
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Ronald nodded, mostly to himself, then spoke for all to hear and have translated. "All right, make it a back-to-back, step away, turn-and-fire duel. Distance will be small enough that a rifle has no advantage. Give Mister Fegsor one of his revolvers, with only one bullet in it. Don't require him to holster the gun, he can have it in hand. Make sure Diego also has only one bullet. If they both miss, we'll reload both weapons.

"Kenchur Yagahodo, please give the count for ten steps. Before the duel, allow both combatants to hear what the numbers will sound like." After this was done, Ronald conferred with Diego and with the onlooking Tengu, then had Mukuma interpret the following for Prendok:

"By the consent of your accuser, we will allow you to have something to gain. If you win, you will be given your sword, a horse, a blanket, a waterskin, a container of cooked rice, and a three-day head start. The Tengu will observe you from the sky, to ensure that you harm no one as you pass through Samplibami territory. But they give their word of honor that they will scatter, so no humans will know which of them are actually watching you. When the three days have passed, you will be fair game for anyone to kill. You will still be under sentence of death for assassinating King Feckladast."

Prendok used additional naughty words in his own language, but understood very well that he was getting fair play. Just before the duel commenced, Jonawiku called for an extra stipulation: "If either duelist jumps to one side just as his opponent begins to turn, or turns to fire before the count of ten, I will put an arrow into that one's guts for cheating."

Before the count began, Diego said to Ronald, "If I die, please see to it that my ashes, and Klemrath's, are transported back to Lower Wenzeppu."

"I so promise; but you will kill him."

In the end, yes, Prendok was shot right between the eyes. His own bullet drew blood from Diego's left side, but not enough to be critical. Diego rose in prestige when he avenged his valiant cousin, and Kenchur gave him the nickname of Skull Driller.

Still to come was discussion of which adventurers would help to carry Klemrath's ashes home, and which would accompany the Jeralos to Mifdola.
 
WHEN WE LAST HEARD OF CHARACTERS FROM "EARTH-WHICHEVER," many of that world's new superheroes, including She-Hunk, had already gained experience in visiting other worlds, notably Jersey Earth. In this world's version of Washington, DC, General Timothy "Thumper" Moss began requesting to meet superheroes as they became available.

In Earth-Whichever's Communist China, the sore losers in Beijing, sulking over their failure to annex Nepal and invade India, refused to allow the kung-fu demigods Master Kam and Mistress Bao to visit America. But the two-and-a-half metahumans from India, Golden Rakshasa and Flying Elephant with his oddly-enhanced wife Jelisaveta, proved available now that the Chinese invasion had been foiled.

When the three Hindus arrived at the Pentagon, they were greeted not only by Thumper Moss, but by the genius Bryce Donner, the man who had changed his cousin Jennifer into the Exquisite She-Hunk. After introductions, Bryce explained the reason for the invitation.

"Our Earth-variant, which only recently found out that it WAS a variant among other variants, was wonderfully fortunate to acquire superheroes in time to meet the threat from Awkwardlisp. But the dust had barely settled from the defeat of Twerpseid, before our new heroes began adventuring elsewhere. Most remarkably, that helicopter pilot Preston Vincent became probably the MOST POWERFUL flesh-and-blood being in the universe, only to relocate semi-permanently to Awkwardlisp as its new king. I can't say it was wrong for him to take command there, since he can prevent people there from turning back to violent imperialism. But if he's there, protecting the universe, he isn't HERE, protecting his native Earth.

"It certainly helps matters that the Starship Grunts from 'Federal Earth,' after they assisted our side in the conquest of Awkwardlisp, shared their technology with us. We're already working to build spaceships from their designs. But what we can copy from a more-advanced Earth, Communists on this Earth can steal in turn."

"With some of the former War Witches helping them to understand new systems," Jelisaveta muttered in agreement with Professor Donner.

"Because of this, we need to ramp up our work with metahuman potential. The kind of R-and-D which gave super-strength to my cousin, and made her a better person at the same time, requires FAR fewer people involved, and far LESS working space occupied, than constructing gigantic starships. Therefore, there's much more chance of preserving secrecy when empowering new individual heroes like Jennifer."

Golden Rakshasa rose from her seat, not in an angry way, and gestured toward Flying Elephant while gazing at General Moss. "If you have in mind attempting to produce new champions similar to Mister Vhani and myself, we, with Missus Vhani, do not object to exploring the idea."

Arush Vhani, clasping Jelisaveta's hand, added, "This, on condition that everything involving us is made available to the Indian government as well."

"That's only reasonable," Moss agreed. "New Delhi cooperated with us admirably during the Twerpseid crisis. And we were already given data on the radio-sensitive implants acquired by Missus Vhani."

"And with Deepak Sengupta running the Stork Industries branch in Mumbai," said Bryce, "the organic part should be easy to coordinate."

"So what do you want us to do?" asked Golden Rakshasa.

"Consent for us to receive non-invasive genetic samples from you. Hair samples should be enough to begin with. Of course, in your case, we'll ask for hair taken both when you are human, and when you assume your weretiger form."

She suddenly laughed. "That's easy! When I'm being the Rakshasa, I shed fur terribly!"
 
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Just now, they were joined in the office by a busy-looking woman who was coldly good-looking for her age. "This," Bryce Donner told the guests from India, "is Cadenza Mundayne, a special assistant to General Moss." He had barely finished uttering these words when a plain-faced but well-built man entered after the bureaucrat. Cadenza in turn gestured to this man, saying, "And he is Lieutenant-Colonel John Hiker, a veteran of airborne rangers. He's a volunteer for possible enhancement trials."

When Colonel Hiker shook hands with Arush, he said, "I'm especially intrigued with your ability to survive huge amounts of damage. Anyone can use weapons to inflict harm, but it must be a serious tactical advantage to be able to keep on coming after TAKING multiple hits, when the enemy thinks you should already be dead."

Thumper Moss then asked Cadenza, "Will Erogsee be made available?" She answered him, "Available in the way that counts: comprehensive genetic material. They're concerned that flying the actual person Erogsee to Washington would be noticed by someone."

Moss shrugged. "Probably right." He turned toward the three Indians. "I know that you know very well what War Witches are. But some War Witches are more human-like than others. During the defense of Brazil, Kirk Slippage overcame and captured Erogsee, one of the very most human-like Witches. Brazilian special forces took her into custody. Erogsee is, to all intents, a tall, broad-shouldered, thick-limbed, iron-fisted human woman who never gets tired. The fact that Doc Slippage was skillful enough to defeat her, takes nothing away from the value of her muscle power and stamina. The odds are very favorable that her strength can be grafted into Earth people."

Bryce picked up the line of thought. "Rakshasa, Elephant, since your powers are magical, it's too soon for me to say whether any of your advantages can be transplanted scientifically. And our only actual spell-casters are off-world at present. But once we have your input, you're free to go where you please, and to tell your government everything we've discussed in this office."

The General, meanwhile, was contemplating a super-team which he might command. They would be newbies in the superhero department, like yearling racehorses eager to grow into champions. Perhaps he would call them "The Thumpercolts."

Eventually, a high-priority interstellar message reached him, an update about Earth-Whichever heroes currently off-world. Doc Slippage, kind of like Batman if Batman had never hidden his identity; his magical wife Zoorama; the Ostralian shaman Kuparr Daku; and the almost-unkillable singer Whiskey Dallas, were preparing to join the investigation of a new villain called Duke Terror. As an update on this situation, King Preston "Truthside" Vincent would himself participate. This by no means left Planet Awkwardlisp defenseless, as that world possessed oodles and oodles of hyper-advanced armaments, on a level which even Superdude could not take lightly.
 
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At a research hospital in Switzerland, an oncologist named Viktor Steinenfranck examined a terminally-ill patient: an American-born military veteran, more recently a mercenary, named Walt Welldunn. Steinenfranck had been in covert communication with Timothy Moss for months, and was one of the VERY few non-U.S.-and-non-Indian citizens who knew anything about the Thumpercolts concept.

If Walt Welldunn survived the impending experiment, he would be invited to join Moss' black-ops team. In view of Welldunn's past, Moss had in mind to codename him "Dirtypool." But in case Dirtypool did his new teammates dirty, Thumper Moss would possess a specialized poison which could kill him. This plot arc is to be pursued at a later time.

/ / / / / / / / / / /

In rather less deep dark secrecy, Jimmy and Jasmine Sushi paid a visit to Bryce Donner the day after his meeting with the Hindu metahumans. Jasmine appeared in her pre-She-Hunk form, except that this form had lost weight and grown healthier. She hugged and kissed her cousin, then exclaimed: "Of course I enjoy having super-strength; but even more, I love it that now I can FEEL AFFECTION for other people!"

"So you never quarrel with your husband?"

Jasmine looked embarrassed. "There was one time.... over on 'Jersey Earth'.... when I picked a fight. I got all stupidly insecure. I imagined, without any basis for it, just insecurity-- imagined that Jimmy was flirting with some of the Heart Sapphires. All the more since I was being Old Me for a while. I couldn't bear to tell YOU about this, except that Jimmy already forgave me. For the first time I remember, I changed into New Me specifically BECAUSE of childish anger!" Tears filled her eyes, but she went on: "I swear I would never REALLY hurt him, but for a moment I wanted to shake him or something. But he wouldn't let me grab him."

Bryce cocked his head, looking at Jimmy. "Did you disappear, or block her with an energy shield?"

Jimmy was nonchalant. "Neither, actually."

Looking at the floor, Jasmine continued: "He taught me a lesson; he LIFTED me off my feet. We were outdoors at the time. He raised me straight up on top of a force cushion. Muscular strength is useless if you can't grasp, strike, push, pull, or stand on anything! He kept his invisible cushion always changing shape; it was like I was trying to stand up on an under-filled water bed. So I tried to fly clear."

Bryce's eyes widened. "To fly?"

"She drew in a huge breath," Jimmy explained. "She meant to blow it all out fast, like jet exhaust, so she could fly backwards beyond my lifting cushion and drop to the ground. But I was ahead of her, I simply formed my energy cushion to extend up along her back, so that when she flew to the rear, she was only moving her trap along with her. At last, she ASKED me to let her down."

"He did let me down," said Jasmine, "after I apologized. I admitted I had no grounds to doubt his faithfulness. And our own love life has been better than ever since then."

Bryce patted his cousin-in-law on one shoulder. "As Jasmine will admit, back before I Hunk-ified her, she would have accused any man of criminal abuse who merely DEFENDED HIMSELF against a physical assault by her."

Jimmy enabled a change of subject: "Do you have any plans to Hunk-ify anyone else?"

What Bryce answered was true as far as it went: "I've considered changing myself. Still undecided."

"Maybe you should SAY that you want to change yourself. Then people hearing about it might not suspect any OTHER project you have in mind."
 
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King Truthside, the former outback helicopter pilot, had been improving his organic wormhole-travel ability. He had worked on this most cautiously, because most people who might travel with him would not be able to survive in vacuum as he could.

But having Zoorama with him on the jump to Senphatori made things easier. For the brief time it would be necessary, she could and did magically sustain a miniature atmosphere around them all. Preston Vincent, to use his human name, couldn't help thinking about his old days in the bush country with Erica: how meticulous they had always been with pre-flight safety checks. And then it was here-and-now again: the five travelers were standing in a city park on Senphatori. Waiting to greet them were Superhottie and the Urth native Adam Straightup; both of these knew who the new arrivals were.

"Adam, how's Proxima?" Preston inquired.

"In her second month, everything normal so far." Senphatorians were pretty much indistinguishable from "regular" humans, even closer genetically than Dahudorans were. Corky--" (meaning Superdude) "--and his family are well. Clara here--" (meaning Superhottie) "--assures them it's all right for them to stay here, letting Corky be a home-reserve force."

"Meaning no disrespect to my cousin," said Superhottie, "I know that you can handle anything he could handle."

"As for what Preston may need to handle," put in Doc Slippage, "is there any more to tell about this 'Duke Terror' who tried to make people here suspicious of each other?"

"Nanobot clusters, the same as used by crime investigators here, have collected many dead skin cells shed by the creature. You are most welcome to study their findings about this alien's genetic makeup."

Kirk Slippage nodded. "Since I can't actually enter a fistfight with a demigod-range adversary, I'll work where I'm useful. Besides, given that my native Earth-variant is behind most of them in science, it will benefit ME to get more familiar with nanotechnology."

Adam saw to it that Kirk had access to all the nano-stuff. The others followed up on what little information was available about Duke Terror. They did some stuff, and did more stuff-- including spell-casting by Dreamtime Chieftain and Zoorama-- and finally came up with a working guess of where the super-alien might have come from. The magic-users could narrow down an area, but couldn't say much about the probable environment of any planet in that direction.

"We'll have to get a look," Preston declared. "I'll use my galactic-range clairvoyance to choose an arrival point. Whiskey, I want you to come along as an extra pair of eyes. Your song power can keep you alive even in total vacuum."

"In vacuum?" echoed a Senphatori technician, a lady named Vorula. "How can she sing with no air?"

"It's been demonstrated," Whiskey explained, "that as long as I'm thinking of a song, and am at least trying to move my mouth to sing, this counts as singing, and I cannot die." She shrugged, and concluded, "It's pure magic."

"Makes it a good wager that she'll die in her sleep," said Vorula.
 
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Doc Slippage's further study of the skin cells convinced him that Duke Terror must be native to a world at least ten percent more massive than Senphatori or any Earth-variant, and receiving maybe twenty percent more ultraviolet light. "This, of course, does not prove that his native planet was his DEPARTURE point when coming here."

The magic-users did more augury. Based on Kirk's hypothesis about where Duke Terror originated, they magically searched for this presumed world, AND for any other inhabitable world which might be located BETWEEN Terror's planet and Senphatori. They eventually identified a planet which could possibly be the place from which the monster had made his jump to Senphatori. No known race came from, or had explored, this planet; but it was a big universe. "Well, we're going to learn more," Preston told Whiskey.

To move things along, only a few hours passed before the space king and the beautiful singer set foot on an unknown planet. Preston reminded Whiskey to be continuously singing from the moment they made planetfall.

Though both explorers could have survived a poisonous atmosphere, Preston sensed that the air would be able to sustain human life. The landscape, however, looked like the aftermath of a planetwide forest fire. In all directions, at least as far as they could see, trees and bushes had been incinerated. New vegetation was just beginning to sprout back. Taking to the air, Preston carried Whiskey with him to survey further.

This led to finally spotting signs of habitation, but all buildings were demolished. Coming down, they soon discovered skeletons of what must have been the natives. They had two arms and two legs, but were shorter and broader than any kind of humans. Almost like the race of Green Flashlight Poradsimu, but they had necks.

During a long period of being offstage in our story, King Truthside had experimented with his revised version of Twerpseid's target-chasing death rays. When Erica first bestowed Twerpseid's whole family's powers on Preston, she had changed his target-chasing beams to be non-lethal. Eventually, because of his interest in cleansing the bodies of water on Awkwardlisp, it had struck him that maybe he could adjust his beams further, making them a HEALING force. He had feared to try this on people or animals, lest something go wrong; but he had found that he could at least make plant life healthier.

So, why not also here?

Since the liberation of Awkwardlisp, Whiskey had not been especially absorbed in following Preston's achievements in healing the planet-- because, until just hours ago, your author had never even considered getting the widowed Whiskey Dallas together with the widowed King Truthside. But why SHOULDN'T she be favorably impressed by Preston's next words and actions?

Handing her a water bottle: "To keep yourself intact, mouthing a song is good enough; but for others to receive the uplifting, courage-giving effect of your voice, THEY need to hear it."

Whiskey looked up at him. "Do you think there are people still alive here?"

"I believe so. Assuming that 'Duke Terror' did this havoc, we know that his actions on Senphatori were marvelously restrained, compared, well, to my predecessor. So yes, I believe that only a fraction of the population here was killed. This is not to excuse even one murder; but I think we'll find survivors. And your singing will make them NOT afraid of us."

Letting Whiskey seat herself in the crook of one of his arms (HINT FOR YOU ALL: TRUTHSIDE WOULD BE ABLE TO CAUSE HER TO GROW BIGGER AND TALLER IF THEY DO FIND TRUE LOVE TOGETHER), he began gliding along some thirty feet above the ground. shooting out his eye-beams to make the plant life grow back faster.
 
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The two seekers shared some trail mix as they went. They didn't find any living native sapients in the first hour, so Preston/ Truthside flew higher. Not so high that either he or Whiskey herself would need to do anything special to prevent her from suffocating, but high enough to allow a much broader view of the geography.

After another two hours, a town of some sort came into sight, and was NOT in ruins. Immediately, Preston began shooting his eye-beams toward the settlement, since no one could be harmed by his life-promoting energy. And as they descended to where people could probably hear Whiskey singing, she began a song similar to the original Whitney Houston's "Wanna Dance With Somebody." Sure enough, erect-standing people who appeared the way the earlier-seen skeletons would suggest, began looking up and listening.

Whiskey would not be able to understand the native language, but Preston would be able to.

Once his booted feet touched soil, the natives drew closer. Although they could not understand English, and although a human woman looked grotesque for THEIR tastes, the enchantment of Whiskey's voice made them understand that the strangers meant them no harm. Now it was time for specific, objective dialogue.

"I am Preston Vincent, also called King Truthside. With me is a female called Whiskey Dallas. We come from a distant world, wishing to learn what your world is like. We especially wish to find out why some people of your world were slain."

The natives must have realized that they also looked strange to these visitors. The one who came to the front said, "I am Fislillo, a female of the Zazdub, an elder of this community. Until four lifetimes ago, we were never certain if there were living things on other planets. Our first intimation of HOSTILE aliens was when a being roughly similar to you--" (nodding toward Preston) "--killed over a hundred people in the Four Lakes region, the region you just came from."

When Preston passed this much to Whiskey, she passed back a question: "Did this killer TELL ANYONE any reason for his violence?"

"He did speak to some farmers on the far side of the Four Lakes. Like you, he could make himself understood. He told those people that his name was 'Chieftain Fear,' and that he was a hunter of evildoers. He claimed that the Four Lakes people were secretly working with other alien creatures, creatures who want to force their beliefs on everyone."

Preston sighed hugely. "I am sure that no such thing is true about your murdered neighbors. There ARE people in other worlds who try to control the thoughts of others, but there are also people who FALSELY ACCUSE others of such behavior."

Whiskey passed along another thing she judged ought to be said: "We don't do anything like that. We will never even discuss spiritual beliefs with you unless YOU desire to do so."

Scarcely a minute passed after this point, before Preston got down to business. His eye-beams, still "tuned" for life-enhancement, passed all over the settlement. Every native in the place who had any injury or disease was healed just like that; same for their domestic animals; and what appeared to be food crops gained a week's extra growth. But Preston's power in this function was not limitless. He had to sit down and rest for several minutes, and he told his new acquaintances: "Understand, I cannot bring back the dead, although a heart ceasing to beat, if noticed in time, usually allows an extra moment in which to revive the person."
 
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Fislillo had more to tell the newcomers. The Zazdub had first learned that there WAS alien life about eighty of their years ago, when a strange being who emitted green light-- clearly someone from the Green Flashlight Corps-- had come here and suppressed an earthquake which might have killed thousands of people. It had been a terrible reversal when Duke Terror landed on the Zazdub world and murdered many Zazdub on the vaguest pretext.

Preston told them about the Flashlight Corps, and promised to ask for one or more Flashlights to be sent here as defenders against a possible reappearance of the "Duke." Then he brought Fislillo along with him and Whiskey back to the Four Lakes region. A wide-circle search turned up a few surviving Zazdub. Rendering aid to these, Preston did an in-atmosphere tube-jump to bring these survivors to Fislillo's town.

Preston requested volunteers from among these just-rescued massacre survivors. Four survivors, having felt the reassuring force of Whiskey's singing, volunteered to come to Senphatori and then Urth. All of them would be welcomed, treated well, and listened to as they told their experiences.

Urth's own Green Flashlight, the Shawnee Indian Mike Deep Swimmer, had just become available again. He flew to the Zazdub world, bringing along Doc Slippage, who could perform forensic examination of the mass-murder scene in the Four Lakes region.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There had been a turn for the better on Urth. Moistureman was back from wherever it was I last put him. Assisted by Howie Maui, and by my good-aligned counterpart of Black Manta (I seem to recall naming him Black Stingray), the fair-haired King of Splatlantis had the followers of his treasonous ex-wife Waterella on the run. Moistureman had just recently opened a can of smackdown on Sullivan Grungy, but the Frankenstein-looking villain had escaped with Mirror Merchant's aid.

The Skrunks, for their part, had been eliminated as an active threat for the foreseeable future.

Since Urth enjoyed regular interaction with Awkwardlisp, Preston easily rounded up a dozen bio-scientists, and twice as many well-equipped warriors. Blue-skinned Tarvili and her Ostralian husband Emangu volunteered to join in. All of these, armed with top-grade rayguns, would join Mike and Kirk on the Zazdub world, combining planetary defense with crime-scene study. Zoorama Sotero-Slippage insisted on going there as well. If Duke Terror ever came there again, he would not have an easy time.

FROM HERE, WE'LL RETURN TO "TERRA," WHICH HAS BEEN OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT SINCE "CROSSWIND" AND "MOLECULE BREAKER" JOINED THE TERRAN SUPERHERO COMMUNITY. THEIR OWN OBSCURE EARTH-VARIANT IS CURRENTLY IN GOOD SHAPE, WITH A DEFINITELY GOOD-ALIGNED "BLACK ADMIRAL" ON GUARD BESIDE "RAPTORMAN."
 
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At the West African prison where Lady Blast was confined, the super-villainess was in deep depression. Scientists vetted and chosen by super-spy Richard Berhanu had rendered her powerless by removing the node in her brain which activated her explosive power. By now, in fact, she had attempted more than once to do violence to herself. The superheroine Sky Lioness had visited her twice, trying to lead her to repentance, but Lady Blast preferred her self-pity.

One evening, then, an extraordinary cyclone struck the neighborhood of the super-max prison. All over the affected area., everything related to communication which could be affected by wind was wrecked: satellite dishes, microwave relay towers. et cetera. So the guards at the penitentiary could not call for help-- not that ordinary men would have been able to stop THIS jailbreak. A moment later, something happened which wind alone could never have done: sections of stone wall broke apart, and the door fell away from Lady Blast's cell.

The jailbreakers left ordinary prisoners to try to get out if they cared to try; only Lady Blast mattered to them. One looked like an elderly white-haired lady; the other, much younger. When a few guards tried shooting at them, to no avail, the elder caused the floor to heave up under their feet, so they fell on their backs.

The intruders introduced themselves to Lady Blast. The elder first: "I am the goddess Hipstera, and I can give your special power back to you." The young (or young-LOOKING) one said, "I am Nyquilla the weather-mistress. Your talent will be a good matchup when teamed with us."

"Thank you, for sure," said Lady Blast. "But why have I never heard of you before?"

Hipstera explained, "Katuva Walton and Conn Johnstantine both know who we are, but have never met us. They will, however. The wizard Mazash imprisoned us long ago, in another galaxy, on a world called Flashgard. The Flashgardeans had the power to contain us. But in recent time, Flashgard was destroyed by a kindred spirit of ours, the demoness Heckla. She released us from a prison asteroid just before assaulting Flashgard. Too weakened to help her in her destruction of goodness, we sought an out-of-the-way world where we could regain power.

"Upon having grown strong again, we tried to find Heckla and join her-- only to learn that she had been slain very shortly after she freed us, by great heroes whom we hesitated to challenge. So we opted to find our way back to Terra."

Nyquilla now spoke: "During our search, we gained intelligence about other goddess of naughtiness. To our dismay, we learned that the Queen of the Goshdarned, and Pheebwallabrish, had also been slain. This, coming after Heckla's demise, represents a terrible blow to The Cause."

"And what cause is that?" asked Blast.

"The cause we love," replied Hipstera, "the cause of destroying all male champions of goodness, and killing female heroes too if they won't join us. In the same connection, it is vital to convince human or anywhere-near-human women that they all are infallible goddesses, AND SIMULTANEOUSLY that they are poor helpless victims of oppressive, controlling men."

"Sounds like a plan," said Blast.
 
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As has been reported before, the city of Detroit on Terra was in better shape than any version of it on other Earths. That was in large part thanks to Blackjay. This good-aligned undead being, with very rare exceptions, was supernaturally confined to Detroit and its adjoining suburbs; accordingly, until such time as he would be carried off to AsaLion's Country, his energy was perforce devoted to making Detroit safe and livable for decent people. He only killed criminals in especially heinous cases; but those few instances, plus the extreme difficulty of evading him within his home area, had resulted in all criminals worse than shoplifters or pickpockets fearing to operate in this area.

The last time Blackjay had been allowed to venture outside his territory, had had been transported to thew same general are where Lady Blast had just been set free. There he had faced and beaten an equally-matched adversary, the demon Smackback. He was happy to believe that nothing of comparable menace now afflicted his native Earth-variant. He would be just fine spending the rest of his uncertain pre-ascension interval keeping Detroit clean, and entertaining honest people with his guitar and singing.

Blackjay's most frequent performance venue was no less a place than the orphanage where Willy Bastion lived when he wasn't being Captain Sha-Na-Na. Sitting and playing on the front porch, he delighted passers-by in addition to the orphans and their caregivers.

As we pick up around an hour after the three super-villainesses departed the shattered prison, Willy jumped up from where he was sitting. Pausing in mid-song, Blackjay asked him, "Did someone just contact you magically?"

"Afraid so. It's Conn Johnstantine. He says that Lady Blast has been sprung out of prison, by two beings who look like being on a level with Smackback."

Blackjay sighed. "And me not able to go back there and help out this time, unless Conn or Katuva can fly me out."

"They can't spare the magic for that now; looks like HEAVY opposition. The new enemies in Africa might be able to conjure up assistant monsters, the way Smackback did. What's more, it's possible that the she-fiends might COME HERE, since you and I live here. I'll be trying to nip their new rampage in the bud; but if they do change targets, Detroit will need you exactly where you are. Now excuse me--- WHO PUT THE BOP IN THE BOP-TEE-BOP-TEE-BOP!"

And Captain Sha-Na-Na streaked away in the sky.
 
In the city of Abuja, representatives of twenty-eight non-African countries were in their latest meeting with African Union officials. Among the African officials were three whom we have seen before: Colonel (formerly Major) Tarik Almohad of Morocco, Richard Berhanu, the swashbuckling counterspy codenamed The Assegai, and Richard's recently-wedded wife Melanie, who was a consultant for any bio-medical questions which arose.

The whole months-long bargaining marathon concerned Skrunk technology-- a great deal of which, as was narrated many chapters ago, had been captured by Africans, and by the African-friendly Brickhawks led by Maureen Hawk's-Cry. Each distinct artifact or process was being addressed separately from the others. The United States and China had each secured rights (not necessarily exclusive) to reproduce a couple of items each, but understandable favoritism was being shown to Third World nations.

Some non-Africans who had helped the African Union in the recent past were now collaborating with regular security personnel to protect the negotiation site. Among these were Spam "Kestrel" Wishbone, his wife Wholesome Vine, and the also-swashbuckling Tolliver "Green Dart" Crane.

Another hero on Terra, harder to categorize than most, was The Inquiry. His one super-hero attribute was hard to define; it was a phenomenal gift for uncovering secrets, anticipating new developments. But when bringing two NEW heroes with him to Africa, even he had not foreseen the new development-- of riding on an actual flying carpet.

The air-manipulating heroine Crosswind had perfected a trick of carrying people with her when she flew, by causing her generated winds to support a heavy carpet. Seated with Inquiry on the present flight was Crosswind's fiance, Molecule Breaker, who could bypass the conservation of energy to become a giant at will, because comicbook logic. The sorcerer Conn Johnstantine had teleported the two young metahumans with Inquiry to Abuja once he heard about Lady Blast's escape. Conn himself had headed for the vicinity of the raided prison. Today, they were scouting for anything which might warn of the next move by the little-understood magical opposition.

And then they were given a BIG indication.

All in a moment, Marlena (Crosswind) lost all control of the flying carpet, and even of her own airspeed. Something in the sky was overruling her, and she fell right along with the two men. But Hal (Molecule Breaker) was not dismayed. He swiftly grew to giant size, and was big enough to grab Crosswind with one hand, and Inquiry with the other hand, as he fell face-up. In giant mode, he was VERY hard to kill; and he had the brains to hold his companions in such a way that his elbows would be shock absorbers at the moment of impact.

FFWUMPP!!! --and Hal was not seriously hurt, while his grasp prevented any serious harm to Marlena and Inquiry.

Nyquilla was now visible in the sky. The three who had just fallen could not do anything against her at the moment, but Inquiry passed a warning by radio.
 
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People inside the conference venue had just begun reacting to Inquiry's warning, when Melanie Berhanu suddenly closed her eyes and and suffered a brief trembling fit. The next moment, she picked up a decorative stone vase, one heavy enough that she needed both hands to lift it, and brought it down from behind-- onto her husband's head.

As other heads turned her way, her eyes went out of focus, and she shouted in her native language: "I have defeated my oppressor in a fair fight, because he took advantage of my vulnerability while refusing to admit how powerful I am! I have always been a helpless victim because I am a superior goddess whom all men in their weakness fear while they enslave and exploit me!"

The wife of one of the visiting industrialists had her two children with her: a ten-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy. Richard Berhanu had scarcely fallen down before this woman suddenly slapped her little boy, screaming, "You should be ashamed of yourself for bullying your sister! Now apologize to EVERY woman here, for your evil promotion of patriarchy!"

The only woman in the building who didn't immediately go berserk was one who had formerly been evil. Wholesome Vine, previously Toxic Vine, radioed her husband who was out patrolling: "Spam! Are you seeing anything strange out there? Spam? Spam?" An instant later. Vine was diverted to saving a life right there. The oldest man in the place, eighty-two years old and lame, had been knocked down by FOUR women who didn't even know him. These women were kicking and stomping their already-unconscious target, while shrilly accusing him of personally doing violence to each of them. Vine yelled at them to stop, only to have one of them scream that she had sold out to the oppressors.

Resignedly, Vine punched out every one of these four. She saw that other men, though taken aback at the sudden, meaningless attacks by women who had been reasonable people minutes before, were now conclusively demonstrating that no, these berserk women WERE NOT unbeatable warrior queens.

Vine realized that her prior conversion from evil had to be the reason why she was now immune to this new, unseen evil. Still unable to raise The Kestrel in comms, she raced outdoors.

Spam Wishbone had been swept out of the sky like a damaged kite. His wings had slowed his fall just enough to save his life, but he was unconscious and his right leg was broken. At Vine's command, a nearby tree dropped a branch which she could use to splint the fracture.

As she rendered aid, Vine could hear a petulant voice from the direction of where Molecule Breaker had hit the ground. Crosswind was yelling something like, "Can't you do ANYTHING right?""
 
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Once having emitted the wave of nonsense-power which transformed good women into screeching lunatics, Hipstera had left it to Nyquilla to spread havoc. The elder fiend had forced one of the soldiers to tell her the location of the secure armory where Skrunk-designed rayguns were kept. Where others would have paid handsomely for those directed-energy weapons, Hipstera would simply take as many as she could carry away, to arm new recruits, and smash the rest.

Lady Blast, meanwhile, had been dropped off close to the nearest airbase used by the African Union. When she judged that enough attention had been diverted to the uproar at the procurement conference, she began destroying parked airplanes, trucks, armored cars, and utility sheds. To remind the reader, Lady Blast could not directly blow up any living thing, but she could make non-living objects explode. She was a lot LESS bullet-resistant than Hipstera or Nyquilla, so the advantage of surprise they had provided her was crucial.

Fifteen minutes after she fled the airbase, Lady Blast was met by Hipstera.

"I'm going to drop the male-hating tactic now; it served its purpose by disrupting normal activity. Nyquilla will hang out over in Senegal for at least three days, keeping people agitated. You and I will go to Bolivia next, where we'll give the captured rayguns to revolutionaries. In case they will have heard of today's doings, I'll assure them that I only hate capitalistic men. Once they have the new firepower, they can raise a ruckus without further assistance from us."

"Then what next for us?"

"Canada. I know that there was a highly effective non-superpowered criminal called Joketeller in the United States on this Earth- variant. Since he disappeared, some of his former henchmen night be lying low in Canada. They should be willing to sign on with us."

Lady Blast suddenly grinned. "Mistress of Mistresses, you just made me remember something else. In Detroit, which is just outside Canada, a revenant or lich or specter who calls himself Blackjay has taken the city as his territory. It was he, on a rare excursion away from Detroit, who vanquished Smackback. If you could get him on your side......"

"I suppose it might be worth trying. After we search Canada for Joketeller's friends."
 
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Katuva "Sky Lioness" Walton was limited in her ability to fly a long distance. Once having flown up from Namibia to join Sha-Na-Na, she allowed him to carry her around from there. Nyquilla had given them the slip, but at least there had been no fatalities in the riot Hipstera had set off. Melanie Burhanu was begging Richard's forgiveness, and Crosswind was begging Molecule Breaker's forgiveness. Neither Molecule Breaker nor The Assegai was going to give Hipstera any satisfaction, so they forgave the women they loved EVEN QUICKER than they might otherwise have done.

When Sha-Na-Na and Sky Lioness moved on from Abuja, Lioness activated the Crown of Odudua, to learn what birds in the region might have seen lately. It was like being a security guard, checking the feeds of many surveillance cameras. Finally, a harpy eagle saw Nyquilla flying in the general direction of Ethiopia. Sha-Na-Na invited his passenger to cover her face with the end of his cape, because he was going to accelerate.

Six or seven minutes later, a heron spotted the she-fiend landing in a large village, and apparently trying to walk around like a normal person.

"She may be able to change her appearance," shouted Katuva. "Let's enter the town from opposite sides." Willy, accordingly, set Katuva down on the north edge of the village, and he went to the south edge. Both heroes were commonly recognized in most parts of Africa, so both were cheerfully greeted. A few people at both ends could speak English, so the two heroes quietly asked these locals to lead their families away from the center of town.

It was never likely that Nyquilla would fail to see that she was being boxed in, so she took to the air again. Glad at least that no civilians had been harmed, the heroes resumed the pursuit.

" " " " " " " " " " " " " "
Hipstera and Lady Blast, looking as ordinary as they could manage, were strolling the streets of Toronto. It was likely that the former adherents of Joketeller were in the habit of watching all available news about super-criminals. They might already have some inkling of the activity of the two she-devils. In a shopping district, they diverged left and right, the better to be approachable for inquisitive crooks.

Passing a restroom area, Hipstera spotted a slovenly man emerging from a men's room, trying to look inconspicuous with two full rolls of toilet paper he had just swiped. The evil small-g goddess had to struggle not to laugh loudly.

Gofer Gorman, for that was how fellow crooks had known him, almost jumped out of his skin when Hipstera spoke, gentle though she made her tone. "Petty theft in the fiftieth degree. But you'll do."

"Er, un. 'scuse me ma'am, what will I do?"

"You'll go to work for me. First of all, is Joketeller still around?"

"Old Jocko Nipper, y'mean? He took off, a year or so back. Seemed all broken up about Carly Whiz leavin' him for a good guy. Nobody seen him since."

Hipstera shrugged. "That's his loss. I can still use you, exactly BECAUSE you're obviously not famous. There will be times when I want a simple assistant to run simple errands for me. Call me Helen Windsor, which of course is not my real name. I'll make contact arrangements with you, and you will never be told any more than what you have to know for an assignment. By you NOT knowing anything that could cause trouble for me, you'll be able to rest in the confidence that I'll never need to kill you. Isn't that best?"

"Um, yes, Miss Windsor, that's very much best. But, but what about my seeing what you look like?"

"Don't worry, the way you see me now is a disguise."
 
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