Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

All these characters did various perfectly legitimate things for the rest of the day, but not all of it needs to be detailed. Pro Dashalong and Major Tylus communicated at length with planetary security officials about what a Glukk incursion could mean.

Fuss users being pretty good at staying awake if necessary, the Tryyurluck Fuss heroine Samladel Fripp had no difficulty persuading Quinine Sauce to patrol around Airfield Number One with her that night. Their evilness-detecting ability would warn them of any threat EVEN IF they were conversing meanwhile. And Samladel, her head-tails gently swaying behind her, saw to it that Quinine did his share of the talking. She asked him about his childhood, and told him about hers. Like many Twyleks in canonical Star Wars productions, she had known a pretty rough life before she was rescued from Imperial oppression.

She had the satisfaction of detecting that the human hero really did feel sympathy for her painful youth-- and her sense of loss upon the death of Ziprukken, the Greedork up-sider who had been her friend. Furthermore, Quinine respected Samladel for NOT growing up cynical and bitter as a result of her ordeals and grief. There was a hint in Quinine's mind that Sweetslayer had formerly gone down-side because of being resentful about misfortunes much smaller than Samladel's misfortunes; this appeared to produce a feeling in Quinine that Samladel was a MUCH better person than Sweetslayer, although of course the Popquizzitor's conversion to goodness remained a cause to rejoice.

At this point, I urge the reader to look up one or more of the following tasteful love songs: "These Dreams" by Heart, "Open Your Heart To Me" by Madonna when she was family-friendly, "Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston, "Take A Chance On Me" by Abba, "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper, and "I Need A Hero" by Bonnie Tyler.

They had made plenty of progress getting to know each other better, without her bluntly STATING how she felt-- when they both sensed something which brought them back to business.

Both at once: "Do you feel that?"

Quinine: "Above and to the right."

Samladel: "I don't see anything yet--"

Quinine: "I sense no evil intent from whatever it is."

Samladel: "But alien, a race not any part of Republic space."

Fuss rings ready to generate lightsabers, they both pressed the buttons on devices resembling early phone pagers on Original Earth. These awakened two members of Captain Dashalong's crew, and two Chimpanzian airfield workers, these four persons having been scheduled to relieve the up-side pair an hour from now. A different frequency paged Antilacor, the most authoritative indigenous person on the site where emergencies were concerned. Count Havabeer awoke spontaneously when Antilacor passed by him, the ape detective being ready to sound a general alarm if it seemed warranted.

But it was no evildoer arriving on Planet Chimpanzia. By means of some sort of teleportation, there appeared a creature like an upright-walking dog in animated cartoons, only he was dressed like an Original Earth Viking, complete with an impressive axe. His helmet was like the one used by Bakerstray Bill, giving the wearer language- absorption ability.

"I come.... in peace. I am.... from a world ....called Jumpstard....in another.... galaxy. I.... recently was on.... an Earth-variant.... in your.... galaxy, where.... I assisted.... native heroes. The job.... there is finished.... so, I offer my services.... against the... Glukks."

"What is your name?" asked the just-arriving Antilacor.

"I am called Speedy Greyhoundus. My King sees far, so he knows what the Glukks are."
 
Last edited:
Hadrianus the bureaucrat joined them a moment later.

"Antilacor? Master Sauce? Who is our new friend?"

The dog-snouted pseudo-Viking rendered a dignified salute with his upraised battleaxe. "I am Speedy Greyhoundus, a sworn retainer of King Woolywoofin and Queen Wagga of Jumpstard, in what you would call the Third Galaxy. I believe that some of you know about a human-like race in your own galaxy, with a society like that of my world, living within easy reach of a human-populated planet.

"Like our humanoid counterparts on Hallpasscard, we Jumpstardeans find periodic occasions to fight against gigantic forces of wickedness. My King, having lately deployed me to assist the mortal neighbors of Hallpasscard, saw fit next to transfer me here. My people never came up against the Shadythings and the Glukks, but we knew of their existence."

The Chimpanzian airfield workers, to whom space aliens were nothing new, took it on themselves to tell Speedy about their world's nascent aviation industry, and how their nearest human neighbors were helping it along. The crewmembers from Captain Dashalong's ship added pertinent details. Then Antilacor and Quinine Sauce described the sabotage which had endangered Sedalia and Wilma, and Diskoduck's premonition of hostile action by the Glukks.

Speedy's ears perked up when hearing the part about Diskoduck. "How did he acquire the ability to look at future time?"

Samladel recounted everything she had heard about Diskoduck's interaction with two successive ancient alien artifacts, very far away from here. Speedy then remarked, "He apparently possesses what my people call Exceptional Ancient Super-Artifact Responsiveness. There is a mysterious artifact kept under guard back on Jumpstard, which none of us can make any sense of, except that we're positive it is not evil-aligned; neutral at worst. Perhaps, after the current business has been resolved, this Diskoduck would consent to visit Jumpstard."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Since our entire saga BEGAN with characters and settings based on Mel Brooks' movie "Spaceballs," since our action is now IN a location linked with "Spaceballs," and since enough time has passed that we can reasonably assume Groaner and Vixen wrapped up the last business we saw them dealing with-- Groan Starr, Princess Vixen and Puke the Kashorcheckian turned up to see how things were going on the planet that shared the same sun as Directvideo.

They brought the sad news of Directvidean prospectors on the uninhabited world Kridmashor being slain by persons unknown (except to you readers). On the positive side, they also brought additional help.

The Planetary Vice President of Chimpanzia, a female named Sarpalina {accent second syllable, with a long A}, welcomed the royals, their hairy shipmate, and the new ally. This was a near-human woman, her only observable difference from an attractive black Earthwoman being that she had an extra finger on each hand. Well, plus the fact that a bright crimson jewel adhered to her forehead. Yes, a Heart Sapphire; and her artifact took care of language barriers for her.

"Madame Vice-President, my name is Tahushio Bleebu. Since my birth planet has never been named in the story so far, let's call it Bayorbu. My people are genetically close enough to true-humans to allow easy intermarriage, though this fact is not relevant to current plotline action. Anyway, I am not worthy to seek romantic love until I become a better person."

Princess Vixen, more familiar with Sarpalina than her prince-consort was, offered a concise explanation:

"Miss Bleebu belongs to an all-female fellowship vaguely comparable to Fuss users, named Heart Sapphires after their gems of power. They don't exactly FIGHT anyone, but they have great power for constructive purposes, like decontaminating polluted environments."

Sarpalina enthusiastically shook Tahushio's hand. "Well met for sure! My world is just now launching a new industrial revolution; and although we already try not to poison the natural world, it would be FABULOUS to have someone around who could neutralize poisons."

Tahushio bowed her head. "I will happily perform tasks of that sort, for as long as I sojourn on your beautiful planet. And I strongly emphasize that I will FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS from your authorities. There's a reason why I speak of becoming a better person. On a human planet far from here, I and others like me arrogantly imagined that we could simply 'remedy' conditions, without bothering to find out what would work best for the people there."

"We hear that strangers from out-system are messing with Chimpanzia's aviation," Puke interjected. "Even as a pacifist, Miss Bleebu could create an energy shield to protect some vital facility."

Tahushio smiled at Puke. "Indeed I could."
 
Last edited:
Further networking resolved that Airfield Number One would be deactivated for the near future. Ape-operated railroads, and Pro Dashalong's ship, would carry everything valuable from that site, to consolidate operations at Airfield Number Two, much farther north. Airfield Two would be guarded by the same people who had briefly guarded Airfield One.

Since the planetary capital was also a high-value target for evil aliens, the Selenium Falcon and its company would remain there. Since Tahushio's power was pretty much defensive, Speedy Greyhoundus opted to join this contingent. He made it from the shut-down airfield to the capital city, on foot, in less than three hours. He could, at need, fire a particle cannon from Pro's armory without needing a mount for it; and at close quarters, he was capable of cutting three armored men in half with one swing of his axe, unless their armor was the VERY best quality. Even then, they would suffer multiple broken bones.

At one point in the virtual meeting, Sweetslayer Tylus drew Tahushio out on how much the Bayoburite knew about Fuss users. Tahushio's knowledge was fragmentary, but she did intrigue her listeners when she described Trace Dickey of Jersey Earth. The veteran detective's recently- acquired power to compel obedience went beyond most Fuss users' mere power of deception and influence.

Sweetslayer winced. "That sounds like a down-side power; like something I would have wanted to do while I still was on the path of evil."

"Dearest," Major Tylus replied, "you mustn't let guilt for your past make you conclude that goodness cannot be allowed any aggressive strength. If I could bluntly command some enemy NOT to kill innocent people, I'd command him that way with a clear conscience."

"As would I," said the listening Vice-President. (It wasn't that the President was negligent, but he already had plenty of unfinished valid business to get done.) "I could order sales-apes not to come to people's houses at suppertime."

Tahushio had never personally met a Tryyurluck, but she had read about them. Seeing Samladel close alongside Quinine in the virtual conference, she exchanged greetings, then suddenly blurted: "Are you two, I mean I'm told it's feasible, are you two an item?"

Samladel was speechless, but gazed intently at the man she knew she loved. Unlike ordinary people, Fuss adepts could FEEL what another person really was like, thus had more to go on with emotional connections. {As long as they weren't entrapped by any idiotic notion that they had to be celibate.} So it was that the Tryyurluck woman was not utterly surprised, but for certain was overjoyed, when Quinine Sauce needed only two seconds (while NOT looking at Samladel) to answer, "You bet your oxygen tank we are! Need some time still to grow together mentally, but we're both worth waiting for."

Quinine Sauce and Samladel Fripp did not instantly lunge into a fervent clinch under the eyes of everybody else; but it did not require
Diskoduck's foreknowledge power to realize that, if the narrator left them both alive after this crisis, there WOULD be clinching.
 
Last edited:
While Groan Starr and others are making ready to oppose a probable invasion of Chimpanzia, let's revisit a part of PUNKSTEEMA which has not been center stage for quite some while. We are going back to that nation whose good King Feckladast was assassinated by the traitor Prendok Fegsor. I remind you that Felipe Catalano -- the knowledge-wizard who is a cousin to the chivalrous gunfighter Ysidro Lopez-- had a hand in exposing who killed Feckladast. Felipe, a native of Gromstark, finally realized that he did not owe it to Zoralee Jeralo to keep on hopelessly desiring her..... when the young Queen Sotavalit (accent second syllable with a short A) of Mifdola fell sincerely in love WITH HIM. Felipe is now the Prince-Consort of Mifdola, and his bride's chief advisor.

Waking up with a young, lovely queen close beside him, a queen who was HAPPY to be here with him, still felt impossible to Felipe. All the more impossible-seeming that everyone in Mifdola-- and in Jeltua, the birthplace of Sotavalit's mother-- seemed heartily to APPROVE of the lawful-good magic-user as a prince-consort.

Incredible, that Sotavalit had been the one acting shy and hesitant before him, when she had confessed her love to him....

"So perceptive a man as you are, can realize, need not cast a spell of inquiry to realize, that my title forces me to consider what is practical at all times. You cannot fail to understand that, by marrying a gentleman born far away from our country, I will disarm the likely mutual resentments between Mifdolan-born landholders who fancied themselves worthy of my favor. But consider how much you can offer on your own merits-- a man capable of unselfish love, while gifted with such power as could carry you far if selfish ambition had been your life-guide.

"If we both had been without privilege-- I with no authority, and you with no magic-- you would have been using your native intellect in some honorable occupation, and I would have been delighted to give myself simply to a good-hearted man who was earning a respectable place for himself in the world. Therefore, since we are both stationed higher in life than the common run of humanity, let us encourage each other to use our advantages always to righteous ends. Now get over here and kiss me, you brilliant fool!"

The Colorless Quetzalcoatl had appeared to Felipe in a dream, with news which would be corroborated soon enough: that the treasonous Lord Prendok had met a humiliating end, slain in a fair duel by a lad barely thirteen years old. And Lady Dorothy Malgriff, daughter of the Thane of Malgriff, herself coming to love a gallant and meritorious officer of the Sagrum Rangers, had by example emboldened Sotavalit in venturing to love a man for his virtues AS a man.

Over breakfast, the ruling couple of this northern kingdom received a visitor: Bear-Brother Hemrogo, human master of the tundra bear Daintycrunch. To refresh the reader, tundra bears are like Original Earth polar bears, but smarter and more social by temperament. Even wild-living tundra bears were able to make certain mutual accommodations with humans: the bears refraining from killing humans' livestock, in return for the humans keeping out of designated wild areas.

"Good morning, Your Majesty, and Your Highness. You summoned me?" Military life being military life, Hemrogo and Daintycrunch had already broken fast before Sotavalit and Felipe woke up. Bear-Uncle Kaglut, the top man in the "ursine cavalry," was excused from this briefing because he had been on duty all night.

Sotavalit might have invited the faithful warrior to sit, save that she knew Hemrogo felt more comfortable observing formalities-- with her as he had done with King Feckladast. "Thanks in part to the revived Order of Sir Edgar Pallendin, it will be a long time before Bloody Diggers dare again to trouble our land, or my mother's land. This means we can move ahead."

"Does Your Majesty have in mind your father's ambition for-- the bridging?"

"Quite right, Hemrogo. My consort has already begun his divinations, to help decide what strategy offers the most hope of success." The young queen was talking about the fact that Jeltua to the west was not contiguous with Mifdola. Airship travel existed between the two allied nations, but ground travel was rendered hazardous by aggressive Sledge Nomads, and of course by Bloody Diggers on occasion. The two royal families desired to expand toward each other, equally dividing the territory to be secured. Ideally, once this was achieved, a pact could be made with the nomads, permitting them still to move through that region as long as they behaved themselves.

Mifdola and Jeltua having more airships would facilitate enforcing such a pact; and the continued presence of Mister Jizbrol Tazaff would greatly facilitate building new airships.
 
Last edited:
>> Mercedes Laquinta is the girl whose honor "Snake-Hand Ysidro" defended back in Gromstark. Up till now, she has never been on-camera, so to speak. Now her family is entering the story action. Mercedes is the first child and only daughter of Cisco and Rusamlis Laquinta, the mother being Gromstarkian but not of their pseudo-Hispanic stock.

>> The firstborn has four younger brothers, who can be named as it becomes necessary. At the time she comes on stage, Mercedes is around three months beyond her seventeenth birthday. (Remember that Punksteema's moon circles the planet in less than one week, so they don't have a calendar with months. Instead, most Punksteeman societies draw a calendar based on the four seasons, which comes close enough to equaling an Earth-year that my stating Punksteeman ages is not far off of Earth time.) She is definitely of marriageable age; and assisting her mother with raising four little boys will have given her strong domestic skills.

Cisco Laquinta could never have afforded to journey so far west-by-northwest as Valtork, let alone Mifdola, even if no perils had existed along the route. He had expected to have to wait for Ysidro to travel all the way back to Gromstark. But a company of neutral-good Mellow Druids, led by the high-ranking Haricot Flakebark, invited Cisco and his eldest son Tamzord (named after the deceased father of Rusamlis) to accompany Mercedes west-by-northwest under Druidic protection. The Mellow Druids had foreseen that a marriage between Ysidro and Mercedes would produce descendants who would accomplish great good for future generations; therefore they wanted everything to go smoothly.

As Haricot had said to Rumsalis in particular: "If Mercedes and others of your family can see first-hand what manner of people Ysidro has recently mingled with, your daughter will not feel so keenly that she has been left out of her bridegroom's life. All of humanity, for centuries to come, stands to benefit by Mercedes' marriage to Ysidro being a mutually-loving one. At the same time, we mellow souls hope to be of service to Mifdola and Jeltua in the much nearer future."

None of this meant that Mercedes would be lost to her family once wedded. Ysidro himself was a Gromstarker, and would have returned eventually even if he had not gained a bride there.

The departure was remarkable, even by magic-user standards. Exerting their combined power, the druids caused a vast quantity of river water to form a sort of steerable tidal wave, which they would replenish after each night's rest. Without even getting wet, the Laquintas were carried for never less than six hundred miles each day. No one in the lands they traversed was harmed by their passage, and at last they were met just outside the southeast Mifdolan border by Bear-Brother Hemrogo and other tundra-bear cavalrymen.

Felipe had let the soldiers know that friendly visitors were coming, but the welcoming committee was a little dismayed when, as the water of travel sank into the soil, all of the druids lay down on their backs from fatigue. The Laquintas were unaffected.

"Are you hurt?" Hemrogo asked, looking at the druids. He had learned some of the Gromstarker language from Ysidro.

"It's all right," Cisco replied. "Haricot warned us in advance that they would be exhausted, but assured us that it would not be any deadly harm to them. They were in great haste to bring us, to bring Mercedes here."

"They say that my sister is magically important!" Tamzord put in.

"Felipe says the same," Hemrogo told the boy. "Let's help the druids to stand up. Our bear comrades will allow riders on their backs; they are smart enough to know all of you are friends."

Getting the druids on their willing carriers was done efficiently. The Laquintas, for their part, were positively eager to walk on their own feet again. After an hour of marching and exchanging amicable questions, a guarded carriage met them. On board were Yiltim the Queen Mother, and Sazka faf-Boli, the lens-maker and mother of Heejee faf-Tujan.

"Greetings from the Queen Mother and myself!" cried Sazka, who was more fluent in Gromstarker than Her Highness. "We know the reason for your coming, and are delighted to meet you. Don Ysidro-- yes, he was knighted as a peer of the realm for his role in avenging the late King's death-- is very highly thought of hereabouts, and he speaks highly of your family."
Mercedes managed a passable curtsey to the Queen Mother. "May God reward Your Highness for your gracious hospitality to foreigners. And may He grant that my father and brother and I do not foolishly violate any point of good manners here."

Translating for Yiltim, Sazka replied, "Good manners do not consist in gestures, so much as in the heart's intent. Anyway, Queen Mother Yiltim's wizard son-in-law knows who you are, and vouches for you."
 
Last edited:
Between the border entry and the royal capital stood a castle named Hanzidrel. The former owner of this property, Lord Bivgof of Hanzidrel, had been the highest-ranking person to join in Prendok Fegsor's treason. After the Battle of Oxhide Spring in Gahurr, some airship crewmen had identified Bivgof's corpse. Now Bivgof's teenage son Denram-- who was determined by Felipe to be unaware of his father's crimes-- was the confirmed inheritor of Hanzidrel, and Queen Sotavalit had been very public about supporting the boy's rights.

Vicar Tegmorsh, the one full-time Christian cleric in Mifdola, had shown his own sympathy by officially visiting the now-fatherless, newly-elevated Lord Denram (whose mother had passed away earlier). In the presence of invited visitors from neighboring estates, Tegmorsh had unraveled a perceived contradiction in the Old Testament. Here is the substance of what the vicar explained to Denram:

"Where it says, 'The sons shall not die for the sins of the fathers,' this is a deliberate command. Let none among you doubt that it is the relevant Scripture for Denram of Hanzidrel. The part about 'visiting the sins of the fathers upon the sons' is not an order, it's an OBSERVATION. Denram, you are not in any way blameworthy for what your father did, but the FACT of his treason still HAS AN EFFECT on your life. By choosing evil and bringing death upon himself, Bivgof made you an orphan. This is a result which you have to endure, but it is not a punishment, because you are innocent.

"If God never permitted any evil choice to produce effects, He would be making a mockery of human will. I don't expect you to feel comforted by this..... but I expect EVERYONE ELSE to grasp, and respect, the FACT that you are an honest young man, who deserves to be accepted on his own merits."

When the Queen Mother's entourage visited Denram at Hanzidrel on the way back to the royal palace, the newcomers heard all about Vicar Tegmorsh's visit. Mercedes later commented to her father and brother, "I want this Tegmorsh to conduct the wedding for me and Ysidro!" Her kinsmen had no objection to this; and a moment later, Sazka told them that Ysidro had already expressed the same wish.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + +

Punksteema being a fantasy-based world like Narnia, there WAS such a thing here as sorcery which WASN'T hostile to the real God. When Snake-Hand Ysidro stood at the main palace gates to greet his betrothed, he was flanked by clergy and magic: by Tegmorsh and Felipe. Queen Sotavalit satisfied protocol by receiving the Laquinta family's salutation first, but did not keep the bridegroom-to-be waiting for long.

When Mercedes finally stood in front of Ysidro, he spoke in his loudest voice:

"Mercedes, daughter of Cisco and Rusamlis! Before all of these witnesses, I declare that you are a woman of great virtue and quality, deserving to be loved and sustained by a devoted husband." Not giving anyone time to worry that he was about to renounce the engagement, he continued hastily: "It is my desire and intent to BE that fortunate husband. But in the name of consideration and fairness, I must add this: if you find any fault in me, or if you have any reason to look elsewhere, you may say as much right now, and before God I will NOT hold it against you. I do not yet consider you bound by betrothal; so if a man you prefer proves worthy of your love, treating you well and being faithful to you, I shall be his friend for your sake. This is your chance to withdraw without blame."

Mercedes drew a long breath-- before dashing straight at Ysidro. She had a stuffy enough upbringing that she had never yet kissed any boy or man with romantic intent, and she preferred to let her first time be in private. But she did throw her arms around the chivalrous gunman's neck, clinging to him with all her might as she shouted, "I want no other husband but you, Ysidro! You took up my cause against those troublemakers, without any thought of reward for yourself, and it is BECAUSE of your unselfish kindness that I love you! As far as I'm concerned, the wedding can start in three minutes!"

Felipe smiled at the minister who would officiate. Chuckling, Tegmorsh said, "Maybe FIVE minutes?"

"Tomorrow," Ysidro declared.

###############

Next post will see Haricot speaking about post-zombie-plague Tablanor. He'll speak to Felipe about the fact that Sheriff Ramseth Holst is investigating covert activity by hirelings of the Frantic Druids, with George Rothermill keeping informed about this. The Frantics definitely DO want Mister Jizbrol dead.
 
Last edited:
The wedding didn't proceed SO rapidly that Mercedes could not make a few more new acquaintances before she donned a veil. The most memorable of these, for her, was Heejee faf-Tujan. The soon-to-be-wife was fascinated to learn that many Mifdolan soldiers now carried rifles patterned upon Heejee's bolt-action weapon, only in a heavier caliber.

"Miss Laquinta, have you ever handled a firearm?"

"No. It never seemed necessary, before I was-- badly treated. But since then, Papa has told me that he hopes Ysidro will teach me. Or if Zoralee were hereabouts, she probably would show me how."

Heejee nodded. "From what I know about Ysidro, he'll be glad to teach you. He wouldn't want you to stay defenseless just so he can feel important. He has nothing to prove, since hardly any woman lives on Punksteema who is likely to beat him at any kind of combat-- apart from light-foil fencing and archery, because he never took those up. But if for any reason your groom doesn't get to it, I would gladly train you on a rifle of design like mine. It wouldn't kill a tundra bear unless you shoot into its brain through an eye, an ear, or the roof of its mouth; but it'll kill a man often enough."

"I wouldn't want to kill a tundra bear anyway, they're so good-natured and lovable."

"So they are, toward anyone who DOESN'T threaten their mates, their offspring, or their human friends."

" " " " " " " " " " " " " " "
Unlike Original Earth druids, the Mellow Druids worshiped the Actual God. Accordingly, Haricot Flakebark was invited to begin the ceremony with a blessing. He spoke it in his native language, but everyone present intuitively knew that the Almighty Creator, not some vague "spirit of everything," was being invoked and praised.

There was an all-female a-capella choir based in the western estates of Mifdola. No, they've never appeared in the story before this. Usually they sang just for fun, however many could get together. (Think female barbershop songs.) All of the members--almost a hundred women at maximum-- came from farm or artisan-class families. King Feckladast had invited them to sing in the palace courtyard on three of his birthdays, four of Yiltim's birthdays, and once for Sotavalit's coming-of-age celebration. Over fifty of the current members had proven available to perform for Mercedes and Ysidro's wedding. Their singing of seven appropriate songs was enough to enhance the occasion suitably.

Sensitive to Mercedes' shyness, Ysidro pulled a tactful stunt. Wearing his cowboy hat during the ceremony, he took it off at the moment the vicar said to kiss the bride. He held it in such a way that no one but the minister and the attendants could see them kissing.

The groom's attendants were Felipe Catalano, Tamzord Laquinta and Bear-Brother Hemrogo. The bride's attendants were Queen Mother Yiltim, Sazka faf-Boli and Heejee faf-Tujan. Tamzord, having some singing talent, resolved to memorize one or more of the songs from the wedding, so as to sing them later for his mother and younger brothers. And Felipe cast a special spell ON HIMSELF, to capture in his mind an exact image of how Cisco and Mercedes looked when walking down the aisle. He would soon project this image into the minds of Rusamlis Laquinta and her younger sons, so they would all know exactly how that moment had been.

Men who had witnessed how ruthless Don Ysidro could be toward evildoers, might have been surprised if they could have seen how tender, gentle and patient he was toward his bride. In the end, this first night gave Mercedes no cause to regret marrying her hero.
 
Last edited:
The next day, the newlyweds with escort started back to Castle Hanzidrel, to enjoy Denram's hospitality. Their host had made exorbitant provision for their entertainment, understanding very well that their honeymooning presence constituted further official endorsement of his right to possess his estate.

Meanwhile, the team of Mellow Druids had recovered from their exertions with travel-magic. After lunch, they met with Queen Sotavalit in her private office, featuring a desk which King Feckladast had formerly used. Felipe was asleep thanks to a mild sleeping drug, so that in dreams he could confer with T'Pinnok Zur over in Hukshem. (I remind the reader that the Asian-like Loi-Hukshem people are ethnically close to the Loi-Kikoro, the Loi-Jeltua, the Loi-Bavrid, and the Loi-Tidumo on the southern continent.)

Jizrol Tazaff, native of Quelidar far to the east, was the first other person to join them. Sitting in on behalf of Jeltua was Kring Dakamish, pilot of the airship Gogutai Canyon which had seen action in Gahurr. Present on behalf of the Mifdolan army was Bear-Uncle Kaglut, Hemrogo's boss. Vicar Tegmorsh was included for his wisdom. The final non-druid attending was an elderly but alert lady named Frubethra, the royal archivist.

It came to standing room only in the office. The Queen, who ruled in the same spirit as her father, gave up her own chair to Frubethra, then addressed everyone:

"Before the wedding, Master Flakebark told me that people in Tablanor are sadly mistaken to think they are safe now that the zombie plague has been suppressed. Let us now hear the news in full."

Haricot Flakebark sighed. "Evil is like a mosquito: it won't quit trying to drink your blood until you swat it, and it is clever at evading the swat. Whatever Jaheg-Jorod expected to achieve with his ghouls appears to have been thwarted; but the Frantic Druids infiltrated Vodranor, Tablanor and Felruda WHILE people were combating the undead invasion. We are indebted to a Tablanorian sheriff named Ramseth Holst, a highly skilled investigator. He discovered that, in order to mask their own presence for as long as possible, the Frantics hired ordinary criminals to murder various persons. Holst is fairly sure that all the victims of these assassinations were either known enemies of the Frantic order, or persons involved in seeking to improve airship capabilities.

"Mister Jizbrol, please summarize for us what you hope to achieve."

Tazaff (Quelidards give the family name first) nodded.

"Now that we know Frantic Druids have permanent dwellings ON the Moon, we know that it is possible to survive there. Swift though the Moon's passage through our atmosphere is--" (the latest overflight of Mifdola by the Moon had happened late on the previous night) "--there must be some characteristic of the Moon which reduces the wind force hitting the lunar surface. Therefore, the Moonward flight which the evil druids achieve by magic, possibly could be duplicated by scientific means."

Kring Dakamish, the other most flight-savvy person in the room, interjected, "The foremost problem is that the Moon travels many times faster than any airship has ever managed. Rising AS HIGH AS the Moon's path is not so difficult a problem, as LANDING safely on it."

"Quite so, Kring. The great question is, how can we match velocity with the Moon? Its own gravity might pull us toward it, but we can't rely on this alone to enable a landing which doesn't kill all the explorers. My thought is-- maybe we could ROPE the Moon.

"By this, I mean that if we could create fibers of extreme elasticity, we could manufacture ANCHOR CABLES, to catch hold of the Moon as it flies past, then winch ourselves closer until we can land and are fully within the Moon's gravity."

"No wonder the Frantic Druids don't want airship development to continue improving!" said Bear-Uncle Kaglut.

Now the Queen gestured to Mistress Frubrethra. The archivist told the gathering, "Some you are aware that the Silnarpians were probably the first people on Punksteema to attempt hot-air balloon flight, leading eventually to modern dirigibles. Twenty-two years ago, a Silnarpian airship crew claimed to have reached an altitude over two-thirds of the way to the Moon's orbit; and they still were able to breathe."

"Which reminds me that I left out one more complication," said Tazaff. "Unless we can fly HIGHER THAN the Moon before tossing our anchor, we may be forced to TURN UPSIDE-DOWN relative to Punksteema when we attempt to land. And I don't know how close in we would have to get before lunar gravitation cancels planetary gravitation."

Sotavalit abruptly spoke up: "Certainly the Frantic Druids should know the answer to this. And in view of their having assisted the Bloody Diggers at Oxhide Spring, I would feel no need to be gentle about questioning any Frantic Druid who falls into our hands. Perhaps we should communicate with this Ramseth fellow in Tablanor; he may have clues to their movements."
 
Last edited:
For a different sort of review (not exhaustive), vaguely in order of first appearance, I shall now list characters I made up who ARE NOT based on any specific existing canonical character in any entertainment franchise. Beginning with characters who DON'T live on any direct version of Earth........

Jean Yuss and Lesha Slater, prominent women of Planet Spacebull, who get their world turned around to reject evil, after Groan Starr defeated President Snooze and Dark Headgear.

Women called Lylah and Krayzee, associated with Slick "Dark Headgear" Mudpackis. Planet Freesoil, where they find a chance to start over, has a colony leader named Boone Crockett, and an agricultural expert named Denzel Powder. Denzel eventually marries a Twylek-equivalent widow named Lumlabbish.

Doctor Dizwarn and Baron Meedi-Ogre Snarkonnen, "Dune"-derived bad guys who try to keep evilness going in circumstances parallelling the downfall of the Harkonnens at the end of the first Dune novel. Dizwarn is an agent of "Hopecrusher Central," which desires all stories to have miserably unhappy endings.

Non-humanoid Green Lantern counterparts named Zuha Zuzob, Jamsorvad, Chubkripdak, Poradsimu, Zaz-Chispa, Twishdok and Gramsuli.

Star Wars-ish characters include a girl named Siskeli who has Fuss powers, a mercenary named Blastodon Kroof, a war-veteran good guy named Vin Gasleen, a Yoda-like female named Bestbaya, and a Mandolorian-like man called Lashrook.

Supporting characters on Punksteema include Razibi Pril, sister to Towerman apprentice D'Kovo and herself a candidate for the Smoke Maidens; Armando Casador, evil tycoon (deceased); George Rothermill and Lester Grath, gentlemen of Tablanor involved in fighting the zombie plague; Judy Lightheart, a singer from Gromstark; Rizlaya Tohir, a good witch in Felruda; Skagruth Johnston, caravan drover; and Burzu Yunsh, a huntsman possessing a magic spear.

Captain Kracknuck and Sister Fluralida, both on the side of good, living and working on my version of Planet Arrakis.

On worlds derived from Filmation cartoons, original characters include a soldier named Dolph Bluntgrin, his shape-changing wife Subsoila, elusive thieves called Stickywick and Grassglider, a good-aligned ape chieftain called Lefturklyde, and the magic dragon Equivvalentor.

Wibgug-Bifyok, Braskorim and Chutnykorn: two not-at-all-human beings, and the third is a human cyborg. All of these are on the side of good in my "Blake's Seven" takeoff.

My version of the Justice League is investigating an evil super-alien called Duke Terror, who terrorized Planet Senphatori. Also in the "Justified League" reality is a speedster hero named Exohern, born on my version of Planet Apokalips.

At the edge of the Andromeda Galaxy, unaffected by "Flake's Seven" events, is the planet Jinobrid. The centaur-like natives have been visited by Green Flashlights, who taught them science.


====> And here are some who DO live on direct parallels of our Earth........

Luchador Hidalgo, Kenny Garth Jones, Chip Thursday, Kelly-Faye Merrick, Doubleslick, and Tightrope Tito: respectively a masked Mexican wrestler, a country-music celebrity, a Kansas state police sergeant, a businesswoman who falls in love with a hero, an evil female shape-changer, and an acrobatic thief who gets reformed.

Howie Maui, Obed Whippler, Tapper Cossack, Red Hot Lamia, and Rattle-Sneak: living on the Earth-variant with a version of the Justice League, these respectively are a watergoing hero, a Christian minister, a Russian hero, and two super-villainesses.

Flying Elephant, Golden Rakshasa, and Dreamtime Chieftain: man, woman, man, magical heroes who are all on the world I call Earth-Whichever.

Superheroes Black Giraffe, Anteater Woman and Liquid Snake: man, woman, woman, born on "Anime Earth."

Tyrone Glass Nielsen, a fanatical atheist, born in the sub-reality based on "Starship Troopers." Also based on "Federal Earth" is Lavinia Creston, who forms a friendship with my version of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Original characters on "Jersey Earth" include Mike Trippleface, Sharon Rockwell, Sawyer Boyd and Roger Tree Root. These respectively are a crooked politician, a firefighter who acquires super-speed, the spoiled brat who founds the "Cosmic Fact Checkers," and an Algonquin Indian who becomes a lawful-good magic-user.

Notable on "Terra" are Sky Lioness, Tarik Almohad, and Kimchee Man: a magical super-heroine, a Moroccan army officer who married my version of Amanda Waller, and a Taekwondo-Hapkido expert who can choke his enemies with caustic fumes.

In the star system which is home to a version of Asgard, my Norse-god equivalents refer to the nearby Earth-variant as Mediumgard. Fully-original characters here include Oliver Hackman, who receives Jedi-type abilities; Drigum Namdre, a corrupted Tibetan monk who promotes Marxism instead of Buddhism; and Shelley and Lance Heflin, who buy into Drigum's doctrine and begin stealing from people in the name of "redistribution." One "Hallpasscardian" who is original to me is a physician called Welbymark.
 
Last edited:
All right, let me resume where Dim Jargon, Tien-Hai Jargon and Nabirye "Black Giraffe" Jared landed on Powurkord, a remote human-populated planet where most of the population has become absorbed in computer games. A lady named Tulsi Blash gave them coordinates to land. Banjolorians who previously migrated to this planet have become the grownups in the room; Tulsi, not herself a Banjolorian, told the newcomers that still-adult persons like herself are indebted to the disciplined warriors for preserving CIVILIAN infrastructure.

The Banjolorian man who had spoken to them during their approach reached the landing field by aircar half an hour after their ship landed and shut off engines. Dortabesk, son of Portashick, formerly a mercenary working for Lackdough Caribbiyan at Cloud Casino, was taller and thinner than Dim Jargon. Even his high-crested helmet reinforced his impression of towering, tree-like stature. He greeted the trio in plotline- convenient common speech.

"Before we arrange for you to meet my chief, let me give you a close-up look at the problem. See that four-story building over there? We'll be admitted at the north entrance, and you'll see."

Inside the indicated structure was a roomy office space, where at least fifty people were sitting at identical terminals, paying no attention to Dortabesk and the travelers. "Do you think these people are managing aerospace traffic? No, each one of them is PRETENDING that he or she is controlling ALL of the incoming and outgoing flights; but not one of them is contributing anything to the efforts of Miss Blash and the few other actual operators."

Though unable to see the layout here, Tien-Hai could hear the routine sounds of the supposed spaceport workers, and her ears gave her a reasonable estimate of how many people were playing at being traffic controllers. "Dortabesk, are these children being PAID to do this nonsense?"

"Bare subsistence; but as long as they have their games, they don't seem to mind being poor."

The woman who had let them in had kept quiet while the visitors took in their first impression of the imaginary workplace. Now she introduced herself. "My name is Jiptorva Sabir. Tulsi, who spoke with you, is my cousin. Have you visitors ever witnessed an industrialized community becoming so blankety-blank lazy?"

"I can't say as I ever did," Dim replied.

"Would it be all right if I walk around these rows of desks?" asked the African superhero.

Jiptorva shrugged. "They won't notice you."

"All right. I'm hoping to notice something myself. Now, don't be shocked when I reveal my --specialized anatomy." Whereupon the Ugandan metahuman lengthened his neck, activating his cognitive specialty. THEN he started circulating around the should-have-been workspace. The majority of the seated Powurkordeans were indeed pretending to direct atmospheric and orbital traffic, in some cases as part of an imagined battle or accident situation. But two of the women, oddly the two eldest, had elected a fantasy completely unrelated to their nominal employment. Their game-scenarios depicted them riding on horse-like animals, on lonely quests which no man could understand.

None of the games, however, struck Black Giraffe as anything horrible, beyond the obvious wrongness of not doing what they were paid for. He didn't let himself be distracted by wondering how the planetary economy survived this much slacking. What gave him a red flag was......

"Jiptorva, Dortabesk, Dim, Tien-Hai, can we step outdoors again?........ Jiptorva: my real power, besides relatively conventional superhuman strength, is a deep affinity for all vibrational energies. Light, sound, the whole dance. And I get intuitions about WHAT this or that energy-field is DOING. Your cousin's workspace clearly does interact with space- and aircraft. The gamers we saw, of course, aren't instructing or tracking pilots; but something outside this building IS interacting with the game consoles. Yet I perceive that the games, as such, are stand-alone programs, not part of a gamers' network.

"Meaning that the outside signal-source probably is designed for personality manipulation."

Jiptorva nodded solemnly. "Tulsi has wondered if and how someone could be doing exactly this. But my cousin can't get away from her duties now. Until she gets off work, let's attend to routine business like supper for you."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
 
Last edited:
Henshok Vorga, the young man who had spoken with our heroes early on, lived in his mother's basement. Unlike some of his fellow game-nuts, he still actually did SOME useful work-- because he was a sort of industrial accountant, and could work remotely, around one hour a day. Henshok's mother, Pegglu Vorga, had a low-tech business creating beverages derived from nutritious herbs that she grew herself. She only played games occasionally; she felt less need for escapism, since her work was enjoyable; but notice also that her work was also nothing that maintained the planetary industrial infrastructure.

At the time Dim Jargon's party had their look inside the spaceport building, it was early evening at that longitude of Powurkord where the Vorgas lived. Mother and son were sitting down to supper-- when two impressive guests materialized inside the house.

One of these was a regular human male. The woman beside him was clearly human-OID. She had butter-yellow skin and long purple hair. The only feature which made her any less than a ten-and-a-half in beauty for human tastes was the fact that her neck was over a foot long. Neither Pegglu nor Henshok knew the purpose of the red gem adhering to her forehead.

But readers with good memory retention will recognize Heart Sapphire Joza-Varu-Paf, one of the leaders of the Sapphire Sisterhood meddling which had unintentionally caused enormous harm to Jersey Earth.

The man spoke first: "Oneness and everything-ness to you, friends! My name is Drigum Namdre, and my companion......"

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

"Serene Heptor," Dortabesk announced, "these are the wanderers who recently were on Kantpoo. Friends, this is Heptor Wadwelz, a heptor in his third term, and the only one of our current heptors to have spent time on Kantpoo. Banjolorian Jargon, Wadwelz has been advised of your wife's offer to be a hostage in the matter of inviting more Banjolorians to Powurkord."

Powurkord's foremost governing entity was a seven-person committee called the Heptagorta. Elections for seats in the Heptagorta came every two years. All seven members had an equal vote on every policy issue; but the senior Heptor, called the Heptarch, presided over meetings, and served a five-year term. The odd number of years for a heptarch meant that one in every two heptarch elections took place while no other seats were up for grabs. Because no heptor (including a heptarch) could serve two consecutive terms with no interval between, the arrangement for heptarch terms ensured that no business year could see EVERYONE in the Heptagorta being brand-new.

Wadwelz was a tall man, and not very old, but all his movements were slow. Years before, he had suffered with a malady similar to myasthenia gravis on Earth, and had never totally recovered, but his mind still was sharp. "Thank you for bringing them, Dortabesk. Everyone have a seat;" and he also sat, in a well-designed orthopedic support chair. "Without dispute, there HAVE been Banjolorians who became assassins or kidnapers. But the ones who came to Powurkord have become good citizens, proving their integrity and good behavior. I am authorized to speak for the Heptagorta, saying that Tien-Hai and Black Giraffe CAN stay here if they like, but they will be guests, not hostages."

"You have my thanks, Heptor Wadwelz. With Tien-Hai and Giraffe remaining on Powurkord to build familiarity, perhaps Dortabesk might fly back with me to conduct some diplomacy."
 
Last edited:
We now rejoin Pegglu and Henshok Vorga, at their home over a thousand miles away from the scene in the previous post.

Pegglu was a little bit alarmed by the abrupt appearance of Drigum Namdre and Joza-Varu-Paf, but Henshok suddenly stepped closer to the extraordinary visitors. "It's all right, Mother! They're characters from one of my games! My superior life-energy has made them come to life!"

"Well, not exactly," the yellow-skinned beauty crooned. "I traced the signals in your electronic role-playing, and then Drigum inserted my likeness and his open into your computer. But you do possess impressive life-energy."

"It clearly comes to you for your mother," said the ex-monk. "And we can bestow astral gifts upon both of you."

"Will we have jewels on our faces, too?" asked Pegglu.

"You will, good life-mother. Your son's gift will be a variation. Drigum?"

"Joza belongs to a sorority centuries old, the Heart Sapphire Sisterhood. They originated in a neighboring galaxy, and eventually expanded their operations into this one. They bring healing, relief of pain, and bright wisdom. During a mission to a human world you never heard of, Joza and her sisters were startled to see how, by no planning of theirs, their goddess-power began crossing over to young males. The boys thus affected experienced a metamorphosis, one which made allowance for their youth and inexperience."

Henshok's face lighted up. "The twin jewels in the ears! Mother, the same game where I saw Drigum and Joza, showed male characters having red stones appear in their ears!"

The long-necked woman gave a deep nod, facilitated by her neck. "Since the boys on that human world lacked the long tradition my Sisterhood enjoys, the universe took pity on them. Their earplugs gave them powers like mine, but ALSO protected them from hearing the voices of hate. They could hear ordinary noises; but where speech was concerned, they became safely shielded from linear-thinking bigots who cherish intolerant, loveless facts. They could hear only those who declared the oneness of all being."

"My ears want that!" cried Henshok. "And my forehead wants it!" echoed Pegglu.

Drigum looked at Henshok. "Before we go any further, be sure understand the part about your hearing. YOU can still speak TO anyone you meet, but only those who are worthy of your attention will be audible for you. This is an automatic filtering device. If a total stranger addresses you, AND YOU CAN HEAR HER, then you'll instantly know that she already at least partly understand the oneness of the sharing of the infinitude of the love of the enlightenment of the harmony of the closeness of the equality of the universe. If inaudible to you, that person is in need of awakening. We do no violence to any person, even the fascist bigots who are so toxic as not to agree with us; but we labor to enlighten them."

"Note, however," added Joza, "that redistributing wealth held by unenlightened persons does not count as theft, because THEY are greedy for withholding resources from the people's collective."
 
Last edited:
Same story arc, change of location......

The Spacer Swimmers, when in between adventures, dwelt for much of the time on a secluded planet called Naokochi. From there, they might fly over to the Solar System iteration which contained Non-Communist Anime Earth. It was this Solar System whose versions of Mercury, Venus, etc., the Swimmers considered themselves to be connected with. They also visited planets which have not even been featured in my story, including several worlds in the same "Third Galaxy" which was home to Bakerstray Bill and his people.

Around the same time as the events of my previous post, Swimmers Venus and Mars returned to Naokochi from the modest planet where the reformed monster Mugwumpa lived. Venus related to the others the outcome of their mission.

"The evil immortal besieging them was Inexorable Trash. Mugwumpa had been injured fighting him, but her indigenous friends hurt him in return with the rayguns previously given to them by Weapons-Man of Alwaysurnia. Mars and I got there before Trash could recover, and we made him shrivel up to the accompaniment of electronic anime music. He won't be able to come back to life any time soon."

Mars took up the account: "But we picked up an intuition of what his long-term intentions had been. Attacking Mugwumpa was a side job; all evil immortals hate her for turning good. Above all, Trash wanted to go and make trouble for OUR friends Dim Jargon, Ying Tien-Hai and Black Giraffe."

"That can't be good," said Swimmer Moon. "Shall I start whirling around and chanting pointlessly?"

"Um, sure, you go ahead and do that," replied her husband Tuxedo Dash, then exchanged an eye-roll with Chipmunkyusa, their daughter.

Kind-hearted Swimmer Pluto, the most beautiful of them all, shook her dark green hair. "I'll perform a space-time scan, pinpoint where our mortal friends are, and go to assist them in case other demonoids trouble them. And I'll pick up Dim's father-in-law, Ying Cheng-Li; he's been wondering how his daughter is doing."

When it became known that Master Ying was to be included in an interstellar adventure, the Hindu swordsman Bagavish Ogoshi asked to be included as well. These two should be able to handle pawn-level bad guys, freeing Swimmer Pluto for magical slugfests. Now Pluto just needed to pinpoint WHERE Dim, Tien-Hai and Giraffe were.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
 
Last edited:
Not knowing yet that Joza-Varu-Paf and the ex-monk Drigum Namdre had intruded on Planet Powurkord, Dim Jargon and Dortabesk didn't fear to leave Tien-Hai and Black Giraffe on Powurkord, as they went looking for other Banjolorians who might be willing to lend a hand with rolling back the mass game addiction.

Spaceport manager Jiptorva Sabir, one of the first Powurkordeans to have befriended the visitors, facilitated guest quarters for the two natives of Anime Earth. At an equivalent of an airport hotel on Earth, Tien-Hai was given a street-level room, for ease of coming and going. Black Giraffe was allotted a penthouse room; its elevated location, plus its high interior ceiling, accommodated his use of his metahuman sensory abilities which depended on his lengthening his neck. The Heptarch and Heptors were all in favor of Giraffe uncovering any new clues he could pick up.

Not long after Dim and Dortabesk flew out-system, a middle-aged female Banjolorian called Lontella introduced herself to the other two. She held a supervisory factory-security position on the other side of the planet, and invited the Anime-Earthlings to come there and sniff around for clues. Tien-Hai and Giraffe were assured that their lodging near the spaceport would still be here for them.

After more interviews with informed persons where they were, the sojourners boarded an atmospheric flight for the distant industrial park. Provided with a harmless drug for deep sleep, they each enjoyed a refreshing slumber aboard the aircraft, benefiting as much from three hours as from a full night of regular sleep.

After landing in the destination time zone, Lontella introduced them to a Powurkordean gentleman called Spadfitch, a systems engineer. "Spadfitch is one of the few natives to date who have been deeply submerged in the gaming addiction, yet have broken free from it by their own effort of will."

The first thing Giraffe did after this introduction was to explain his unique power to the engineer. Then, lengthening his neck, he mentally probed Spadfitch's brain for indications of unauthorized nanobots. But there were none, or at least no active ones.

Tien-Hai asked her new acquaintance, "Games are nothing automatically wrong or bad; so when would you say it went too far?"

Spadfitch shuddered. "It was after I started programming my combat games to make my opponents look like real people I disliked. And in the imaginary encounters...... I hurt their avatars very severely."
 
Last edited:
During the rest of that day, and through the following day, the two investigators talked with Spadfitch's colleagues, and then with workers from other businesses who interacted with Spadfitch's company. During every interview, Tien-Hai Jargon's keen hearing sought clues in people's voice tones, while Black Giraffe probed for electronic anomalies. There were odd undertones in the speech of heavy virtual-reality players, but no proof of present-time electronic tampering.

While taking a lunch break, something occurred which Tien-Hai had never known to occur with her African friend. Over their years of their acquaintance, she had learned to pick out the faint sound made by Giraffe's neck stretched upward. This happened while Giraffe was in the midst of chewing a mouthful. She heard him resume chewing after his head shot up. When she heard him swallow, she gave him another half-minute to sense whatever he was detecting; then she spoke--

"Jared, are you picking up something different from what you felt elsewhere?"

When the African hero nodded, head high or head low, it was usually the same as anyone else nodding; but this time, his neck tilted forward with his nod. "Yes, new HERE; but it's actually like something back home. I mean Lucy Luminous"-- meaning the Green Flashlight of their Earth.

"So somebody is wielding power like that of the Flashlight Corps?"

Another deep nod. "Not identical, but very similar. Now, I'm pretty sure that your husband's home region of the universe is not acquainted with any power-fellowship which IS NOT the Flashlight Corps, yet which is SIMILAR TO the Corps."

Tien-Hai nodded back, knowing that her friend would see it. "Well, Powurkord is on the outskirts of Republic space. Maybe Powurkordeans have contact with such people, but those people have been so harmless up to now that Dortabesk and Lontella never thought it was necessary to mention them."

"So, let's ask Lontella about this."

But Lontella had never heard of the Heart Sapphire Sisterhood. So before long, many of the Banjolorians on Powurkord, with locals like Tulsi Blash, began searching for any information about off-worlders who were SORT OF like the Green Flashlights.

=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

Drigum Namdre, born as he was on an Earth-variant which had its own version of Marvel's Avengers, and having moreover seen his Earth visited by additional heroes, was able more easily to pinpoint Tien-Hai and Jared than Jared was able to target him and Joza. Rounding up the Vorgas, and other game-lovers whom Pegglu and Henshok had recommended, the Tibetan sorcerer hastily teleported them and Joza with him, to a rural spot three time zones east. Using a language not known to the locals, Joza told her companion, "We need to gain ground fast, before some Flashlights DO come butting in and spreading hate."

The new scene of operations, more or less like a county, was full of orchards. The fruit here, similar to oranges and grapefruits, was the population's best source of Vitamin C, though they didn't CALL it "Vitamin C." One of the new followers, a girl named Veshbard, remarked to Joza, "Back in ancient times, more than FIFTY years ago, some seriously greedy people robbed everyone in this district."

"How did they rob the people?"

"Very cleverly. They cleared away hectares and hectares of weeds, thorns, and poisonous fungi, shipped in organic fertilizer, chose tree strains best suited for the acid-alkaline balance of the soil, determined optimum spacing for the trees they planted, cultivated their groves, pruned as necessary, monitored the ripening of the fruit, worked out the right timing for harvest, mulched the waste material, figured how much fruit to keep fresh and how much to dry....... and then they did the WORST thing, the GREEDY thing: they expected other people to PAY for fruit!"

Without missing a beat, Drigum told Veshbard, "You're right to be indignant! But maybe we can correct those wrongs. We could start a new social movement; perhaps call it 'The Distribution Dance'."
 
Last edited:
In Samplibam, on Punksteema, back at Toshiram Yagahodo's manor, Toshiram's son Kenchur married his cousin-fiancee Boshiru Inomura without further delay, since they had been vividly reminded that life is short. The mutually-loving couple agreed that their every anniversary would also be a time to honor those who had died bravely fighting beside them against Prendok Fegsor's goblin allies.

Several Tengu, able to speak Bloody Digger speech, had interrogated live prisoners-- not very gently-- before consigning them to forced labor. The adventurers who had come north with Mistress Mukuma, joined by Wyatt Hickok and Jonawiku the ronin, deliberated on the question of transporting Klemrath Doshmo's ashes home to Lower Wenzeppu and Uncle Kadelpu. They would also facilitate updating the Long Quest Church Alliance about Mukuma's mission.

Obviously, Diego Smith, Klemrath's cousin, was going. Southerners Nishri and Feshri, the Javelin Sisters, were also going; therefore Donnie Tonka and Talusek Fernwood, cavaliers to the sisters, would accompany them. The elder Towermen favored letting another young Towerman travel with Diego, leaving two others to go the other way with Ronald.

The question was Wyatt. The two gun-brothers looked at each other silently for half a minute, before Wyatt spoke.

"We'll see each other again, Ronald. For now, two of us alive, working different lands, means Edgar Pallendin's order of knights recovering faster. And the ability to manufacture modern revolvers will help our Samplibami friends. I'll go with Diego and Talusek; D'Kovo and Ilya with you."

The Jeralo siblings, of course, would share the path of Sir Ronald, Ilya and D'Kovo, along with anybody the author may be forgetting. But no Keanu Reeves fan will object if I have Jonawiku, the ronin, son of Mofiruzo, travel with them as well. If I didn't already have this happen, say that the Colorless Quetzalcoatl made Jonawiku also able to speak the three most widely-used commerce languages on the northern continent.

Before the two parties said their farewells, Mukuma told Jonawiku her final conclusion on Samplibami names for the Persons of the Trinity, which would be used in her already-started Samplibami paraphrase of the Bible. God the Son, as already established, would be called Ishwa, her native tongue's rendering of Yeshua/Jesus; the rest would come from the Samplibami language. "Haruyaso," an already-known general deity-term, would refer to God in His completeness as the Trinity. God the Father would be called "Kamtul-Biri," corresponding to "All-Father." And the Holy Spirit would be called "Domil-Falut," roughly meaning "Wind of Thought."

For a small spoiler, I'll just tell you that the party going back south-southwest will reach its destination safely, with Diego and Talusek having profited by Wyatt's insights. The relationships of Donnie with Nishri, and of Talusek with Feshri, keep growing closer and better. Near-future Punksteeman action will all revolve around Ronald's party.
 
Last edited:
Ronald wanted to pass through the stretch of arctic hunter-nomad territory his band had crossed from the other side months ago, since with his friend Burzu's help he had enjoyed cordial interaction with the natives there. Those people, akin to Burzu's own tribe, were ethnically like the predatory Sledge Nomads, but less vicious in habits.

Some of the Tengu who had joined the defense against the Bloody Diggers in southern Samplibam, accompanied Ronald's party exiting from the northeast end of the country. The one clan which was resolutely hostile to House Yagahodo knew better than to make any trouble as Ronald's band, openly in the favor of Shogun Wajitujit, headed for the border. The Tengu provided a map of the best route into that part of the frigid zone which Ronald wanted to reach, and gave the heroes a very helpful gift: four magic braziers, made from the skulls of huge beasts, which at every camping stop would generate enough heat so that the travelers and their beasts would never die from the surrounding cold. In appreciation, Ronald gave the most senior Tengu a return gift: his own long-carried poniard.

"The Towerman is never defined by the particular weapons he carries," He told Ilya and D'Kovo. "And I have a suitable replacement." Toshiram had given him a belt knife, close in length and weight to the Wellvernian poniard. The new blade had a straight spine, sharpened only for three inches back from the point. The fully-sharpened lower edge curved gradually up to meet the point. Ronald would be able to use this knife with his rapier in the same way as he had used the poniard.

On their northwestward route, only two permanently-settled countries, not directly bordering each other, lay between Ronald's party and the desired segment of the arctic regions. The nearer of them was named Flodmarth, and the farther was Tagdossa. These nations were usually at peace with each other, and both traded occasionally with Samplibam: mostly offering furs and coal in return for products of Samplibami industry: wooden furnishings and axe or hammer handles, plus iron items including arrowheads, knife blades and axe heads.

None of the Flodmarthers, and few of the farther-off Tagdossans, could speak any of the commerce languages known to Jonawiku; but the ronin archer had visited both communities during his earlier adventures, and could communicate with them by means of essential words augmented with signs.

Three days' worth of marching at a reasonable pace, with the Tengu braziers warding off pneumonia and frostbite when they rested, proceeded without incident. On the fourth day, they sighted several Flodmarther huntsmen, and hailed them. The locals recognized Jonawiku, which ensured the friendliness of the encounter.

As the groups approached each other, Zoralee asked the ronin, "Do these people know about the Bloody Diggers?"

"Yes, they do; so do the Tagdossans."
 
Last edited:
The hunters had two hounds with them, held on leash by the two largest men in the group. The eldest Flodmarther set his weapons on the ground and advanced, looking straight at Jonawiku. Signs and words were exchanged; then the ronin looked back at his companions.

"The leader's name translates as Moss Puller, because he is a healer as well as a tracker, knowing the medicinal qualities of some types of moss. He is very interested to know how long it's been since we saw or heard of any Bloody Digger breakouts."

Ronald asked Jonawiku to translate a brief account, spoken first by Ronald himself, of the Battle of Oxhide Spring. As long as Ronald personally spoke, though needing a translator, his anointing would cause his hearers to know that he was giving accurate facts to the best of his knowledge and belief. When Jonawiku had related this much, the Flodmarthers looked profoundly impressed, especially by the part about the Rogbal. Looking at Ronald again: "They're startled, but yes, they believe you. Now, of course, I'll tell about the battle I was part of."

This done, the hunters deliberated among themselves. One man who looked as if he might be the leader's son did much of the talking. Moss Puller eventually turned back toward Jonawiku, and spoke at length. When the hunt leader paused to let Jonawiku interpret, the ronin told his own party:

"Nobody human can be sorry to know that the goblins have suffered major defeats. But the Flodmarthers and the Tagdossans foresee a bad side to the situation. Sledge Nomads have also needed to guard against Bloody Digger aggression; and if THEY are freed from worry about the goblins, they may be emboldened to move against the two local nations, AND against Jeltua and Mifdola."

"Then do your friends have any recent news of Jeltua and Mifdola?"

"Only rumors that the Mifdolans and the Loi-Jeltua will try to negotiate a treaty with the nomads."

Having heard what the latest exchange meant, Zoralee remarked, "It sounds worth trying, at least. And if the Mifdolans, especially, are improving their armaments, they should be able to bargain from a position of strength."

Now Billyboy broke his silence, addressing Ronald: "Ask Jonawiku to suggest that I be allowed to scout northward in my other shape."

Presenting the idea to Jonawiku, Ronald made sure to include the question of whether any of the huntsmen, or their dogs, would panic or go into a berserk rage if seeing Billyboy change form. But Jonawiku simplified everything, saying, "I'll just tell them that Billyboy has magic which helps him to trail and locate enemies. I will not be lying. If Moss Puller likes the idea, Billyboy can just leave his human weapons with his sister, walk out of sight, and become the doomrat afterwards."

( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (

To be quick, Billyboy finds no signs of impending danger. To reassure Moss Puller's people further, Jonawiku offers to stay with the Flodmarthers until further notice, and to participate in meetings with Tagdossan leaders to discuss a joint response in the event of a Sledge Nomad offensive. Ronald's party will have a reasonably safe journey to Mifdola, no casualties.
 
Last edited:
In the Cosmic Federation of the Second Galaxy, Vernacula Scurvylaff's elaborate interstellar deception campaign was crumbling. Far from being perceived as a hero for "curing" the intelligence drain inflicted on human males, she was being unmasked as having caused the retardation plague herself. The brawny AND wise long-armed Ziblamots, the real founders of this Federation, were collecting and broadcasting evidence of the diabolical plot. This included the unmasking of the fake Green Flashlights with beam emitters in the PALMS of their hands, and Judge Wytebredd's confession of his part in the conspiracy. It also included the experience of an iron miner on Pellavinno, who had seen a vision of the evil immortal Kennedweeba.

One thing which NO good guys were making known to the public was the fact that a small hero-team had located and rescued the survivors of Flake's Seven on the prison world Razztazzem Six-- because reinforcements for the heroes might not be able to reach that location fast enough to prevent bad guys from getting there to silence Lodge Flake's testimony against the Scurvylaff administration.

Meanwhile, Vernacula Scurvylaff was playing one of her last remaining cards: using whatever communications media had not been blocked against her, to claim that this was all actually a misogynistic plot by toxic males, whose fragile ego could not bear to see any women being strong and independent.

But increasing numbers of the same human women whose advocate Vernacula pretended to be-- such as Captain Kactusita and Station Supervisor Gaflatori-- were not buying it anymore.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In the main prison compound on Razztazzem Six, the female Shmeehobber Hutsut-Rilro had been the first prisoner fully awakened from the virtual-reality nightmares. While she recounted her experiences to her fellow amoeboid Wibgug-Bifyok, John Cardsharper was helping Green Flashlight Lucy Luminous to keep the captured guards under control, and watch for signs of any fresh villains approaching the star system.

Chutnykorn the human cyborg, Lylah Cardsharper the Fuss user, and Slitterbing the Greedork girl worked to liberate the minds of Diva Mellowmind, Sally Kipper and Foylif Krebkon. The more they could analyze of the induced nightmares, the more they could form counter-programs. For instance, a nightmare of being trapped in the path of an avalanche would be changed so that friends in an aircar would carry the dreamer to safety. Stage by stage, the torture victims were drawn back out into reality.

Of all the victims being set free, Diva woke up with the most immediate understanding of what had been happening to her. In her former job as prison physician, Diva had been a party to legal use of the virtual-reality consoles on prisoners, but this usage had at least nominally been intended to encourage reformation of moral character. Even at its harshest, the system had never been applied so cruelly as had now been done to the survivors of Flake's Seven.

When Sally and Foylif were brought back to reality, Sally immediately used her thought-sending power to say to her sweetheart's brain: If that's really you, tell me what I said I would like for my birthday! Foylif, with plain audible speech, identified a kind of tame animal, similar to a guinea pig, which was popular as a pet on many Federation worlds. An instant later, the two lovers were all over each other, clinging and kissing and weeping with relief.

This left the valiant Lodge Flake, who had suffered more agony than the other four combined, still weakly stirring in Royurbota's arms. Prying herself loose from Foylif, Sally touched her forehead to her captain's forehead, and thought at him with all her might: Lodge! Lodge! This is your friend Sally! I actually am alive. So are Diva, Hutsut and Foylif. Your cousin is here as well.

Lodge groaned, "Ro-yur-bo-ta?"

Yes, alive and well. Royurbota, with friends who had learned about our predicament, broke into the prison to save us. Royurbota is right here, holding you close even while I speak to you! She did not talk at first, because you might have assumed that her appearing was only another cruel trick played on your mind. But all of us really are here in the room. Another friend, a very strong man called John, will carry you to a proper infirmary bed now. Diva will examine your state of bodily health, and Royurbota will stay lying beside you as you emerge to more complete awareness. Hutsut, Foylif and I will join the other new friends, to check for any news of possible enemy activity.

So Lodge Flake was gradually lifted back into a universe where love and hope DID still exist. And for all of their future life together, the inexpressibly grateful Royurbota would never even think of ridiculing her beloved hero for having cried like a baby on her shoulder.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If I have negligently said elsewhere that Lucy Luminous went someplace else, let's agree that her other business happens AFTER she helped to rescue the survivors of Flake's Seven. And while I'm thinking about it: yes, the Umbaderran forest ranger Taglamso DOES also get rescued from wherever he was locked up, and is reunited with his daughter and son-in-law.
 
Last edited:
Block Atom and Serrimu had kept a low profile after their non-lethal aircraft-wrecking diversionary raid. Now that resistance to the tyranny had gained momentum, they decided they needed to get back in the ballgame. Contacting Vildaromp and Beelrist on Blamtet, they asked where they might be most useful. Vildaromp recommended another bloodless shock-strike.

Another planet colonized by Arpkevokians, named Freltorbi, had a well-maintained space-navy base, which could be helpful to Coordinator Scurvylaff in countering a rebellion; but it also had a strong minority of Arpkevorkian war veterans who seriously questioned the rectitude of their civilian bosses. Reckless violence on Freltorbi would nudge the dissenters back into supporting Vernacula Scurvylaff. So, instead.......

Quietly deposited at a subspace radio station close to the foremost planetary base, Serrimu used The Chatter to make the communication personnel broadcast an interstellar announcement: "Freltorbi calling the Cosmic Federation! All space crews within easy reach of this star system are invited to make inquiries with Freltorbi Regional Navy Base. You will find that the free people of the Federation have helpers, who will assist in expressing public indignation against the murderous Vernacula Scurvylaff."

As on the previous occasion, Block Atom smashed plenty of hardware, without harming any living persons. Then, as laser beams bounced off his chest, the super-antihero explained, "Although I hail from another galaxy, I now represent Federation citizens who don't want to kill anyone. What they want is to install a LAWFUL government. Let my non-lethal actions communicate this desire."

" " " " " " " " " " " " "

Two days later, almost every naval spaceship owned by the Ziblamots converged on the neighborhood of Planet Fussyfrit. They were joined by ships with Dahudoran or Shmeehobber crews, plus a dozen or so ships manned by Arpkevorkians, and about as many with humans. There would, of course, have been more human crews, if human MALES had not been out of commission.

The Ziblamot flagship transmitted a stern call for Coordinator Scurvylaff to surrender herself and stand trial for her crimes.

With nothing left to lose, Vernacula resorted to her desperate-lost-chance gambit. Her secret ally was just waiting to hear from her.

In mid-vacuum, the apparition blinked into visible presence. Still a drab-looking, aging woman, over a hundred feet tall, standing confidently on nothing. On either side of her appeared scores of men: some skinny, some fat, but not one looking physically fit. These were only thirty feet tall.

The she-demon Kennedweeba had come to the defense of her disciples.

Every comms receiver on every rebel ship now played voices: one female and many male, all in unison, the female voice always distinguishable.

Kennedweeba and her puppets looked in unison to one side, and all chanted: "ALL WOMEN ARE UNBEATABLE WARRIORS! ALL WOMEN ARE GODDESSES!" Then they looked the other way, and all chanted: "ALL WOMEN ARE POOR HELPLESS VICTIMS! ALL WOMEN ARE OPPRESSED!" From the first utterance of this incantation, the pilots of all the rebel ships discovered problems with steering.

"ALL WOMEN ARE UNBEATABLE WARRIORS! ALL WOMEN ARE GODDESSES!"

"ALL WOMEN ARE POOR HELPLESS VICTIMS! ALL WOMEN ARE OPPRESSED!"

"ALL WOMEN ARE UNBEATABLE WARRIORS! ALL WOMEN ARE GODDESSES!"

"ALL WOMEN ARE POOR HELPLESS VICTIMS! ALL WOMEN ARE OPPRESSED!"

"ALL WOMEN ARE UNBEATABLE WARRIORS! ALL WOMEN ARE GODDESSES!"

"ALL WOMEN ARE POOR HELPLESS VICTIMS! ALL WOMEN ARE OPPRESSED!"

It was not clear to the rebels, of whichever species, what this chant even had to do with the issue of restoring representative governance to the Cosmic Federation. But the back-and-forth motion of the apparitions was definitely affecting the ships. Every ship started turning in place, like a roulette wheel.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top