Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

In movies and comic books, monsters and villains often refuse to stay dead if they die, since the writers want to make more use of them. I don't think I've done that yet, so I'll bring back my little-used version of Cate Blanchett from the insulting movie "Thor-- Ragnarok."

As I briefly summarized many pages ago, "Heckla" lived and died in what I call the Third Galaxy. Bakerstray Bill, aided by other heroes, gave her what she deserved after she wantonly destroyed Flashcard. One of the Flashcardean survivors was Lowerkey, my good-aligned counterpart of Marvel's Loki. (Lowerkey now dwells in our galaxy, enjoying a brotherly relationship with Prince Thorpe.)

Dismayed at the downfall of one of their favorite evil everything-doers, the fiends of Hopecrusher Central dimension-jumped to the Rock of Banality, where they performed a chaotic revival procedure. It involved showing some Original Earth television programs to the feeble ghost of Heckla. Heavily emphasized in this task was the anthology series which the actual Rod Serling produced after "Twilight Zone." The later series, called "Night Gallery," had existed for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON OTHER THAN saying that evil was omnipotent and unbeatable, no matter what no matter what no matter what, nyaaaah nyaaaah nyaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Where advertisement breaks had occurred in Serling's NBC-TV show, the Hopecrushers improvised their own advertisements, yelling, "Evil is cool and sophisticated! Virtue is for idiots! Truth and love are BOR-ING!!" And so on.

Like Sauron after he lost his ring, Heckla struggled back into being, but still was weak. At this point, she would not have dared to confront members of Trail Life U.S.A. on Original Earth (ASK EVENING STAR ABOUT TRAIL LIFE) --let alone any superheroes. But her healers persisted. Moving on to Original Earth cinema from the Eighties and later, the Hopecrushers showed her horror movie after "clever" horror movie which INVARIABLY ended with people saying, "We're safe now"-- only to be devoured by a monster that should have been destroyed.

At last, Heckla's form grew opaque and solid. New antlers began to grow on her head.

The Hopecrushers rejoiced to hear her shout, "Good is dumb! Now, where are some good guys for me to kill?"

Inexorable Trash was the ranking evildoer among those reviving Heckla. "Shall we fly back to Jumpstard now, to kill King Woolywoofin and Bakerstray Bill?"

Heckla's antlers wilted a bit. "Er, um, well, that is, I mean..... Ha! Better to let those dogfaces tremble and sweat, wondering when I might come after them. I'll warm up with some other world, for variety." Trash and the others were tactful enough not to come out and say that Heckla was a coward at heart, only confident when she was sure of success.

Hopecrusher Central, of course, possessed superb reconnaissance assets. They found that, right now, Seedubb Earth's heroes were complacent after multiple victories over evil. Two of Seedubb's leading heroes, Marysuefire and Green Flashlight Ryan Pebbles, were absent from their star system, and many others were easing into new roles as mentors.

The goddess of icky behavior asked Trash, "Are there some cannon-fodder evildoers available?"

Inexorable Trash did the equivalent of consulting a data device, then-- "Should be. We haven't seen any Chipotli battle-droids in action for quite a few chapters. I'll have some of the guys look up where they might be."
 
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In the South Atlantic Ocean of Seedubb Earth. Princess Reelnyce of the Fishyfolk, and her consort Beef Boy of the Teen Tryouts (recall that Beefy can BE a Fishyfolk at will, making their marriage viable), were busy supervising the construction of a seafloor habitat. This was to be a branch of the still-developing heroes' academy. Obviously, this habitat was intended to facilitate young land-born heroes learning to operate underwater. Counterparts of Original Earth Navy SEALs were on hand as consultants.

What nobody knew yet was that, when inquiring after Chipotli combat robots, Heckla's friends had only found a battalion of Chipotli adapted to fight underwater. Well, since Heckla could live underwater, why NOT begin by attacking the sea-people of an Earth-variant?

Two of the SEAL-equivalents, and four Fishyfolk laborers, were suddenly injured in their left shoulders by electrified speargun projectiles. Reelnyce gave the alarm for her own guards, while her husband assumed a suitable shape to counterattack. As a very large sea turtle, he swam straight at the undersea-model battle droids. Having been instructed to attack human or demi-human forms, the robots were confused by Beefy's metamorphosis, until he was among them, battering them and breaking their guns.

Uninjured Fishyfolk laborers carried the injured SEAL-equivalents to safety, and Reelnyce made sure that first aid was begun for them. The still-ambulatory SEAL-equivalents found objects which could be used as shields against the droids' projectiles, then advanced against them, joined by the royal guards.

Amid the melee, Heckla appeared, shouting into the water, "Bow down and worship me! It is your only chance! Worship me NOW!"

She was launching her own jagged darts into the left shoulders of more defenders-- when a colossal tentacle erupted from the sea floor and caught her in an unbreakable grasp. The tentacle was followed by-- THE REST OF the Queenkraken, Aquaticman's immortal ally.

"You presume to invade MY element?" she roared at Heckla. "You presume to assault MY mortal friends? The Hopecrushers must have tickled your ears with talk about evil being invincible. Well, here's how invincible you are!"-- and the Queenkraken swallowed Heckla in one gulp.

Thus concluding one of the shortest villain-revivals ever.

Anticlimactically, a troop of evil demi-human Barnsmell were delivered belatedly to the location of Spark Laboratories. The research personnel hastily brought out the long-concealed Anti-Villain Device, which weakened the aliens and enabled police to capture them.
 
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On Punksteema , northwest of Samplibam, Sir Ronald's party had continued its trek to reach and cross the arctic zone of Arcondoyla. Jonawiku the ronin had stayed behind in the region of the neighbor city-states of Tagdoss and Flodmarth, the latter being nearer to Samplibam. A Flodmarther elder named Moss Puller had informed the travelers that Sledge Nomads were likely to be out raiding. The Towerman's group was strong enough not to be overly worried about those predatory barbarians, and they wanted to get back to Mifdola and points beyond.

Continue they did-- minus Jonawiku. If the Nomads ventured as far south as Tagdoss, there would be plenty of non-combatants to defend: a different matter from Ronald's situation, with everyone able to fight back. A leading Togdassan warrior named Fist-of-Ice (based on his exploits in winter combat) joined the Flodmarther elders to deliberate about readiness to repel an invasion.

Fist-of-Ice made a very reasonable point, saying: "Because the Sledge Nomads are slow-moving as raiders go, I believe they will want to hit my town first. If they leave Togdass untouched while they strike Flodmarth first, they risk my people then cutting off their northward retreat. Therefore, all the Togdassan elders agree that we will be attacked first, if in fact the Nomads are coming. So, in my people's name, I request help from Flodmarth, to defeat the expected invasion before it can make progress."

"In the event of an invasion," Moss Puller told him, "your prediction is likely to prove true. Yet they might have enough raiders coming, that they can hit both of us at the same time. Tell us, what is the smallest number of Flodmarther warriors that would be enough help for you, if we try to stay ready here?"

"There's another option," Jonawiku interjected. "If you-- meaning both towns-- can make sure that I have a VERY large supply of arrows, I can do the service of TWENTY warriors, thus strengthening whichever town ends up having fewer defenders otherwise."

Fist-of-Ice drew near to the legendary archer. "Whichever town enjoys your presence in an emergency, should prepare obstacles which would slow down invaders, giving you more time to pick them off."

The Togdassan was an expert at MAKING arrows. Consequently, he and Jonawiku soon were deeply conferring about which types of arrowheads could be made available for the sniping defense.
...........................................
 
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To remind the readers:

While there are not yet any air-PLANES on Punksteema, about one in every twenty nations has its own home-built dirigible air-SHIPS, with Arcondoyla having more zeppelins than Wellvernia. Most active in airship commerce is the north-continent nation of Silnarp. I have not yet decided WHERE Silnarp is located, though I vaguely figure it to be west of the Wenzeppues. So far, it has not become necessary for me to commit myself to a location, even though some Silnarpians are about to figure in the story action.

Silnarp is no more totally evil than Reslagor (home of the late Armando Casador) is, but it does have some villains in fairly powerful social positions. It was the influence of these villains which, long before your narrator began depicting events on Punksteema, made some airmen wicked enough to commit wanton murder. It was airmen of this kind, visiting Samplibam, who murdered the wife of a younger Jonawiku. Not one of the murderers lived to boast of their crime; but of course, the evil friends of evil men are never willing to admit that THEIR side is in the wrong.

{ { { { { { { { { { { { { { { {

At a location over a hundred miles north-by-northeast of Tagdoss, a spot which Sir Ronald's arctic-bound party was never in a position to observe,
a well-armed Silnarpian zeppelin crew met with a regiment's worth of Sledge Nomad raiders. The airship commander was a man called Vord Brimma, but his younger brother Shegg Brimma was the important one at the moment, as he could speak the Sledge Nomads' language. Speaking for the barbarians at this meeting was a warrior named Jimtref.

"Much as the Mifdolans and Loi-Jeltua hate your brethren beyond the pole just for being different, so the Samplibami hate us for being different! A Samplibami ronin killed some of our friends, just because our social customs are a LITTLE different from theirs. And since the Tagdossans and Flodmarthers are friendly to the Samplibami, Vord and I have deep cause to join with you against those haughty city-dwellers."

"If we do the ground fighting for you," said Jimtref, "will you then expect to claim the loot from the pillaging?"

"Not at all," Shegg assured him. "Depriving Samplibam of these allies will itself be our prize."
 
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As it turned out, most of the defenders were concentrated in Tagdoss, and this was where the Sledge Nomads attacked first, led by Jimtref. It was a big, tangled, yelling and surging and chopping battle, worthy of sword-and-sandal movies made on Original Earth in the Sixties. The Tagdossans and Flodmarthers took many casualties, but the invaders had underestimated the numbers of their opposition. In the end, apart from a few raiders who fled early on, all of the attackers were served what they had more than once done to pillaged cities.

No quarter, no prisoners. Jimtref's part in the story ends here.

Vord Brimma's airship, with a dozen riflemen on board, set out for Flodmarth: not needing or expecting to kill everyone there, just intending to leave the supposedly-unprepared Flodmarthers unable to do anything for the Togdassans.

But there were only a few military-age men in Flodmarth. Although unaware that a dirigible was in the picture, Moss Puller had urged moving the non-combatants entirely out of town, which proved more fortunate than he had foreseen. Still in the town were Jonawiku, Fist-of-Ice, and seven able-bodied Flodmarther men. There had been time to make over two hundred additional arrows, one-fourth of which had very broad heads.

The youngest of the Flodmarthers was the first to sight the airship. When this was brought to Jonawiku's attention, he looked for himself.

"Silnarpians. If they already knew that I'm here, then they're looking for me. If they don't know yet-- let's MAKE them aware. The rest of you, stay hidden; attack them only if they land, or they start shooting from above. Choose points from which to volley them with minimum danger of hitting me;" and the ronin made for a spot where the aviators would see him, but from which he could get to cover fast.

As if to give the heroes a clear conscience about slaying them, the airmen opened fire, bullets penetrating roofs and smashing window shutters. Fist-of-Ice and his comrades launched arrows up in reply, to keep the Silnarpians' attention on them until the ronin was ready to draw their fire in his turn.

When the bad guys failed at first to react to him, Jonawiku decided to idiot-proof them. He assumed an exaggerated jujitsu ready-stance, then made an impolite gesture in their direction. This did it. With flawless timing, the ronin took evasive action half a second before bullets hit where he had stood. Running sixty yards through the trees, he emerged facing the port stern of the airship. In transit, he had firmly tied a strong cord around his waist. Now he pulled a stunt worthy of the most radical Original Earth kung-fu movie. Tying the other end of the cord to one of the wide-headed arrows, he nocked it to the string, aimed carefully, bent his bow near the breaking point, and shot.

Leaping up at the correct instant, Jonawiku was PULLED INTO THE AIR by his arrow. As the dirigible's envelope gushed its heated air from entry and exit wounds, the hero landed just inside the gondola, effortlessly slipping out of the loop which had gotten him airborne.

And the sky above the north boundary of Flodmarth began raining Silnarpians.
 
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Two of the tossed-out airmen survived the fall, with four or five broken bones each. Remaining in the dirigible's gondola were the last three common crewmembers-- and the Brimma brothers, each being grasped by the throat.

"You will descend, and take some of my friends on board," growled Jonawiku. "One of you two shall remain in Flodmarth with your surviving casualties, as a hostage for the other one's obedience. You will patch the holes I made in your lift envelope. Once re-inflated and skyworthy, you shall transport my party to Tagdoss. There, I will toss you out, but at a low enough height that you won't be seriously hurt. I'm not a wanton murderer like some Silnarpians are. Just remember not to tense up as you fall."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Readiness for defense (which included having more warriors than the enemy expected) had made a crucial difference to the Tagdossans. Thirty-one Tagdossans and Flodmarthers had perished, but the lives of ninety-four Sledge Nomads had paid for these losses.

And this was before the commandeered airship came and intercepted the retreating barbarians. Arrows shot from the sky by Jonawiku and Fist-of-Ice, to which the demoralized Sledge Nomads could not effectively reply, led them to do something Sledge Nomads VERY seldom did. They fell on their knees in the snow and pleaded for mercy. The zeppelin landed, as friends from the town converged on the scene.

Moss Puller, and many others, were in favor of barbecuing the captives alive. But Jonawiku had a better idea.

Choosing three nomads who were in good shape, the ronin allotted to them the best remaining sledge. "Go home. Tell how you were defeated. Never come back here. As you go, think about what you have been spared. Now hurry up."

When the released prisoners had gone far enough away not to see what might be occurring in the town, Jonawiku addressed the men still in custody.

"The rest of you have one chance to save your lives. When I signal, all of you must begin screaming, as loudly as if you were being tortured to death as you deserve. The more convincing you are, the more likely we are to let you live, doing forced labor."

The captives performed so realistically that they were all hoarse till the next day. That next day saw them beginning their future of hard labor, but grateful to be alive. And Jonawiku stayed with the people of Togdass and Flodmarth long enough to assist with supervising the nomads in the task of rebuilding houses.
 
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COMING BACK TO THE HUMAN-SETTLED PLANET LATELY VISITED BY MY VERSION OF THE MANDOLORIAN, WHERE MANY TENS OF THOUSANDS OF THE INHABITANTS (IN A POPULATION LESS THAN TWO MILLION) WERE ADDICTED TO VIDEO GAMES.......

In a highly productive rural region of Powurkord, a single mother and her son had become the first openly-declared disciples of the meddlers Drigum Namdre and Joza-Varu-Paf. While the yellow-skinned Heart Sapphire and the former monk from the Tibet of Mediumgard Earth prospected for new recruits on a different continent, Pegglu Vorga and her son Henshok went to work alongside a girl named Veshbard, who had become the second Powurkordean to acquire a Sapphire prosthesis. The Vorgas had previously worked for a living; but now being able to conjure up the basic necessities of life, and having no understanding of macro-economics, they sought now to re-create what Drigum had formerly promoted on his native Earth-variant: the "Distribution Dance."

We find them now in Raxamento, a seaport on the west coast of their continent.......

Powurkord was not so industrially wealthy as to give up watergoing vessels entirely for hovering fliers. The top man in Raxamento for building and repairing boats was Hissfadred, one of the disturbingly-few non-Banjolorian Powurkordeans to be totally uninterested in virtual-reality games. As we discover him, he was repairing an engine when he heard voices babbling outside. He recognized one female voice: Frib Deenree, a helmeted Banjolorian who worked for him. It wasn't time yet for her to report in, but she seemed to be arguing with someone. Miss Deenree being his most reliable employee, Hissfadred hurried outside, in case Frib might be close to getting provoked into violence by some idiot.

Not yet knowing about the Heart Sapphire Sisterhood and its recently-created male auxiliary, the shop owner didn't know what to make of three women with jewels on their foreheads, plus a boy with jewels in his ears. The most imposing of the women had a neck nearly two feet long, but Hissfadred had seen plenty of non-humans in his time. The gems were the real enigma.

The youngest woman was in mid-harangue:

"--that some people OWN the means of crossing the sea, while others have to PAY FOR transportation. Can't you see the INJUSTICE in this? The ocean is not a private preserve. Water is public! Water belongs to the world! Water travel is everyone's right. Don't leave unfair corporate privilege unchallenged!"

On a planet where, for most of its history, people had taken honest work as a matter of course, talk like this was uncommon. While Hissfadred was frozen with disbelief, Frib Deenree gave the rebuttal for him: "You there, big mouth! Whatever you do in daily life, don't you expect to be paid? Do you always give things away without recompense? Did you grow up with no one around you ever paying for anything?"

A translucent energy sphere appeared around Veshbard: apparently as an involuntary fright-reaction. Then she dropped her shield and spoke again. "I admit that the wisdom of the Distribution Dance had not come to us when I was a non-adult. But all the more cause to make up for lost time. It's never too soon to strive toward oneness and sharing!"

Pegglu now put her spoon in the soup. "Separation is competition, and competition is hate! It takes a village to share equality!"

Frib darted her eyes between the two humans. "Do you argue that individuals don't matter?"

Joza-Varu-Paf now came to the support of her proteges: "Of course they matter-- as parts of the whole. But it takes billions of atoms to create a solid object. Individual persons FIND THEMSELVES by merging with the collective!"

Hissfadred was irritated to hear what drivel was being talked by the Sapphire Sisters, but was pleased with Frib's defense of him.

"I've never seen you three in Raxamento, but--" The warrior paused when she saw Henshok whisper to Pegglu. "Does the boy not know the plotline-convenient common language?" Pegglu ignored her, whispering a reply into her son's ear. So Joza-Varu-Paf once more took up the slack.

"Because the vibration of Mother Universe is female, mere males need extra help to harmonize with Her. The son of Sister Pegglu is on the right path, but his ear-gems are there to protect him against the hatefulness of linear logic. Little Brother Henshok cannot hear any voice which speaks against the eternal oneness of the divine unity of the circle of life. You, helmeted woman, clearly have not discovered your own inner goddesshood, or Henshok WOULD be able to hear you."

Frib harrumphed. "Well, since you others can hear me, listen up. Here's something highly relevant which I've learned from my employer's neighbors. He never brags about it. Three Powurkordean years before I came to work for Mister Hissfadred, he used some of his honestly-earned profits to purchase a deep-search sonar suite for his personal boat. During the next hurricane season after that, two research submersibles working in this vicinity were disabled and unable to surface. By his own initiative and at his own expense, Mister Hissfadred put out to sea, using his sonar to locate the distressed vessels, and enabled a successful rescue of all hands on board them. 'The collective' didn't save those researchers, one man did; and he had the MEANS to find them because of the money he had privately earned."

Joza shrugged, her neck extending slightly higher as she did this. "I grant you that less-enlightened societies usually need to pass through the greedy capitalist phase before they arrive at the bliss of a global commune. But we hope to accelerate our civilizational evolution."

Hissfadred finally stepped up alongside Frib. "All right, suppose you do evolve us in one great leap. Will your cosmic enlightenment render the Heptagorta obsolete?" The businessman was referring to the elected council which governed Powurkord.

"Not exactly obsolete, but perhaps redundant. If all people are one, then one should be able to speak for all."

"Meaning you?" growled Frib.

Joza spread her hands. "Why not? I am set apart from all the prejudices of your backward capitalistic society, and I abstain from all violence. My leadership would be purely impartial and benign."

Hissfadred scowled so suddenly, and so fiercely, that even the fearless Frib Deenree was startled. All three gem-wearers unthinkingly put up defensive screens-- even though, in his case, Henshok had not heard anything Hissfadred and Frib had said. Glowering at the yellow-skinned near-human woman through her translucent hamster-globe, he told her, "A few years ago, a man called Porkanbeen pretended that HE would lead us benevolently. He didn't."
 
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Turning toward Hissfadred, Frib muttered in Banjolorian stealth-language, which she had taught him: "I wish Dim Jargon would get back here, and bring Bulky Tanya with him. I bet every Powurkordean still sound of mind would rather have Tanya be a queen HERE, than let these oddballs gain more influence."

Hissfadred rumbled back, "If those are the options, long live Queen Tanya."

Their sentiment was even more appropriate than they knew, since they had not seen the earlier chapter of our story in which Tanya got sobered up and grew more discreet and responsible. Unfortunately, what suddenly appeared was not Bulky Tanya, but Drigum Namdre.

The Mediumgarder-Tibetan chided his allies: "You picked a poor locale to look for new followers. These seaport citizens are too established in their capitalistic engrams. We need numbers to build momentum, and you won't get them here." Without waiting for discussion, Drigum teleported himself and his three friends to another location. While many bystanders blinked in surprise, Frib said to Hissfadred, "Let's access the online portal for Wadwelz."

The man to whom she referred was a highly-respected member of the Heptagorta, the elected council which governed this planet. In poor health but mentally sound, Wadwelz had already befriended Dim Jargon's party.

It was night where the statesman was, but a protocol droid answered the call. Hissfadred identified himself, then said, "To Heptor Wadwelz: please attempt to reach Dim Jargon by subspace radio. The sooner we can INCREASE Banjolorian involvement in our society, the better off we'll be. And if any up-side Fuss users are available, ask them to come also. The deterioration of our infrastructure is being accelerated by offworlders, who have a different form of energy control."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Nabirye Jared, Black Giraffe of the Uganda on Anime Earth, was appropriately in the tropical zone of Powurkord at present. Jiptorva Sabir, cousin of Tulsi Blash, had flown him by hoverjet to a region similar to Earth's Caribbean Sea, because one island here was home to a vitally important weather-control station. She explained to the superhero that this station represented the highest technology on Powurkord, The island of Gretnaboz was in the same area where the planet's worst oceanic storms would originate. Sophisticated gravity generators, heat beams and freeze rays would reduce the severity of hurricanes, undeniably saving many lives and lessening property damage each storm season.

"Stormstopper Station was one of the first sites to see workers shirking their duty for games," Jiptorva told her passenger, as her eyes rested on his manly face. She was a married woman and faithful to her husband, but she did NOTICE how handsome the offworld metahuman was. She added, "Four Banjolorian technicians were brought here to ensure that the weather-control systems remained in working order."

"For what it's worth," Jared assured her, "my signal-sense tells me that Stormstopper Station is running properly."

They landed close to the operations building, where Black Giraffe was greeted by the staff Banjolorians. Wearing the helmet which would record his psionic impressions of electromagnetic activity, he proceeded to scan every console and emitter, soon confirming that all was as it should be here. And so it was......

Until, shortly after he took off his helmet, Joza-Varu-Paf materialized within a hundred feet of him. Re-extending his neck, he didn't need the helmet to sense that---

"She's an energy manipulator! I'll try to talk to her. Don't draw your guns, she can shield herself."

Drigum had kept the Vorgas and the girl Veshbard with him, while dropping off the far more experienced Joza here to operate independently. She projected her voice to declare, "I am peaceful; in fact, I create peace!" Her Sapphire prosthesis made her words understandable to everyone.

Walking toward her, Giraffe saw that, as soon as she picked him out from the others, her eyes locked onto him, as if there were no one else in front of her. He barely had time to guess that her mind was on his neck being long like hers, before she exclaimed, "Mother Universe bless us! You're the handsomest man I've ever seen!"

"Well, thank you. Do you have any intuition about my inward character?"

Joza looked sheepish. "Score one for you. But it won't harm you if I attempt to read your essence." Jared spread his hands as if inviting her; and he quickly sensed her energy washing into him. So he immediately concentrated on thinking about the fact that individual freedom, individual thought, individual initiative, individual emotional bonds, and EVEN individual ownership of property, were not inherently wrong. Her forehead gem shone brighter; she walked up close to the African superhero; and then she plucked the Sapphire off her forehead and placed it in a pocket.

"Is there a chance," she asked him, "For you and me to try getting acquainted like ordinary people?"

"Hmmm, how much acquainted are you thinking?"

"That can only be answered in the doing. I confess that I don't know how compatible you and I are genetically; but all of us being humanoid, many Sapphire Sisters have married men of other humanoid races; and, counting instances when Sapphire energy overcame biological obstacles, EVERY such marriage has produced viable children."

Jared's face hardened very slightly. "I notice that you haven't asked me if I have a wife or girlfriend."

Her face, however, softened in a most disarming way. "That's because, while I still was using my prothesis, I ascertained beyond any doubt that you are incapable of betraying and violating any committed relationship."
 
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Dim Jargon, with the Powurkordean-Banjolorian Dortabesk son of Portashick, had found Bulky Tanya in Republic space. Hearing of a situation that she might be helpful in, Tanya had agreed to come to Powurkord with Dim. Using Tanya's ship Tantrum, they headed for the troubled world. On board with them were the experienced warrior Lashrook, the female newbie Peeluva, and Chipdod, a male from the race resembling Sebulba in "Phantom Menace."

As they approached the star system containing Powurkord, they were hailed by Swimmer Pluto, the wisest and most beautiful of the Spacer Swimmers. Dim and his wife were familiar with these benevolent demigoddesses. She revealed herself and communicated with them: Just since I turned my attention toward you, I have discovered that the evil collective known as Hopecrusher Central ALSO has its attention on you. So I'm going to join your side. Tanya, since I don't want to overcrowd your starship, I will place my companions in a city on Powurkord, where I will explain my intentions to local authorities. Dim, you know the persons I am carrying with me: the Hindu swordsman Bagavish Ogoshi, who fought against Mugwumpa before she was converted to goodness, and your own father-in-law, Master Ying Cheng-Li. They will know to expect you soon.

Pluto cast a speed spell on the Tantrum, so it would land on Powurkord less than an hour after she would. By subspace radio, Dim got hold of Tulsi Blash, to pass the word that additional friendlies were coming.

< < < < < < < < < < < < < < <

Over two hundred miles north of Raxamento, and some thirty miles inland, lay a town called Norvoz. Located near a well-managed forest, most working people in Norvoz were engaged in manufacturing cellulose products and paper. Framtovi Penwin, a prominent local businesswoman, had been trying for several years to persuade the Heptagorta to legislate a restoration of hard-copy publishing. The epidemic of computer-game addiction had lately conferred greater prestige on her efforts.

Although Drigum Namdre was not the originator of the planetwide obsession, he considered it a good thing; so, having become aware of Miss Penwin, he made her town the next target for himself, the Vorgas and Veshbard.

Henshok was the only one in the quartet whose power interfered with, rather than enhanced, his ability to communicate with people. Accordingly, Drigum assigned him to a task which needed no talking. His "Cosmic Fact Checker" power was, apart from the selective-hearing feature, the same as Heart Sapphire power; though not intended to harm anyone, it could be applied for something like forcing open a door. While Henshok's mother, with Veshbard, began giving impromptu speeches in the town about redistribution of wealth, and while Drigum kept a lookout for any super-powered opposition, Henshok broke into every local warehouse and began levitating stacks of merchandise outdoors. Pretty much as had been done on Jersey Earth, and then on Mediumgard Earth, Drigum's disciples intended to tell everyone that they should all take equal shares of cellulose products and paper.

No matter if they even wanted the stuff or not. "Fair distribution" was all that mattered.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Swimmer Pluto sensed that strong evilness was hovering in the star system, though not physically present on the planet. So she met with the Heptagorta, explaining to its members what she and the other Spacer Swimmers were, and telling them what she believed was happening. "Evil is allowed to do plenty in The Never-Stopping Story, but it is not allowed to do EVERYTHING it wishes to do. If evil immortals are, as I suspect, encouraging the stupid game addictions, they know they can only go so far, lest the Creator smash them all. So mortal heroes have every chance of being able to make headway against that which is eroding and corrupting your society. My mortal friend Bagavish Ogoshi, to whom I have given standard plotline-convenient language ability, will work with the Banjolorians. I shall be scouring your neighbor planets for indications of any evil presence."

Pluto summoned Swimmer Mars, who was friendly with Dim and Tien-Hai Jargon, to assist her. The two good-aligned immortals found traces of evil beings visiting the other worlds in the system recently, but could not at once be sure if any demonic beings were currently present. For certain, most evil beings in the storyverse would rather NOT openly confront two Spacer Swimmers at once.
 
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Joza-Varu-Paf had not harmed anyone, but probably could; so no locals, even Frib the Banjolorian lady, perceived any need to try apprehending her. Especially in view of the visiting superhero seeming to have a handle on the situation. The situation had now led Jared and Joza to sit on a public bench: not hidden from sight, but no citizens were crowding close.

"Because we Sapphires can instinctively detect goodness in a man's heart, no marriage entered into by a Sapphire Sister has ever failed in devotion and love. I personally know two near-human sisters, Nolarivu and Luvardra, who married human-male Green Flashlights."

Jared, his neck at ordinary length for now because picking up radio signals might distract him, replied, "My parents back in Uganda have a great marriage to this day; their golden anniversary is coming up next year. Under God, the reason for their success is that they began with a resolve always to be kind and fair to each other."

The purple-haired, yellow-skinned beauty reached over with graceful fingertips (whose trimmed nails were naturally purple) and caressed the superhero's dark cheek. "Kindness and fairness are the very essence of the Heart Sapphires!"

Jared (though single, and aware that it was true about interspecies marriages in a science-fiction reality) was not going to leap headlong into a relationship with a stranger who had just been advertising Marxism; but his impression of her so far indicated foolishness rather than deliberate evil. "Kindness and fairness are wonderful, but clear DEFINITIONS of kindness and fairness are needed."

Joza recoiled. "What are you doing, Jared? In the middle of a perfect romantic scene, you start LECTURING??"

Hoping he was doing the right thing, Black Giraffe elevated his own head to a level with hers, eye to eye. "You weren't lecturing when you described the advantages of being able to SEE goodness inside other people. Accurate truth doesn't ruin love, it nourishes love. If you and I are to be even so much as friends, we both need to work at understanding what's going on. You already scored sincerity points with me when you deactivated your powers. Let us continue on our path of sincerity, and LEARN more truth about each other."

//// //// //// //// //// //// ////

The seaport of Raxamento was widely known by now to have known to have been disturbed by those who wanted to deepen the social crisis. Being informed of this, Tanya landed the Tantrum at the closest safe place to the waterfront where the boat-shop owner had argued with the meddlers. The data bank aboard the Banjolorian starship had shown that Powurkordeans knew of the existence of Chipdod's race and had no quarrel with them; so Chipdod went ashore carrying a video camera, in case Tanya or Dim wanted to record any discussions.

A hologram-worthy interview soon was forthcoming, when Frib Feenree greeted her fellow Banjolorians. She told all she knew about the clumsy attempt by Drigum Namdre's companions to proselytize for the Distribution Dance. When Dim learned about the surprising turn of events with Black Giraffe and Heart Sapphire Joza-Var-Paf, he remarked, "Jared is no fool. Chipdod and Peeluva, please remain in Raxamento and follow Jared's lead. Master Ying and I will want to see Tien-Hai as soon as possible."

As if this had been a stage cue, Swimmer Mars appeared beside them.

"Good to see you again, Dim. Allow me to transport you and your father-in-law to where your wife is. Pluto still is patrolling the outer system. Dortabesk, I know you'll be briefing the planetary government on our offer of assistance. Tanya, Lashrook and Bahavish, please take your ship to the town of Norvoz; planetary traffic control will give you coordinates. Ask for a woman there named Framtovi Penwin. After dropping off Dim Jargon and Ying Cheng-Li for their family reunion, I shall be hunting independently for any undetected super-villains."
 
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The reader may recall that some small-g-god-level villains have actually been killed in the course of our serial, such as the Queen of the Goshdarned. So we need at least one replacement to make things difficult for heroes.

On an outer planet similar to the PLANET "Pluto" which was found in every near-original-world solar system, SWIMMER Pluto sensed evil. What she sensed but could not name, was Maltibalkrix, the Quark Elf Lord, a former antagonist of Thor-variant Bakerstray Bill. After losing four battles to the Dog-Headed Thunder God (and being humiliated by his life being spared), Maltibalkrix had chosen to change galaxies. Landing in a quadrant not far from the Republic of Lots of Worlds, he had identified the worst sociopaths in five humanoid populations, and had changed them into Quark Orcs. Those five worlds now constituted Maltibalkrix's modest new empire.

None of these races, however, possessed any space-travel technology, and the Quark Elf Lord currently had no such tech to give them. So, being himself able to cross outer space and live on airless worlds, Maltibalkrix had come alone to the system including the planet Powurkord. He was surveying the frozen outer planet with a view to making it a space-navy base, if he could create a space navy. It remained to be seen whether the bizarre characters now stirring the pot on Powurkord could be enlisted in HIS cause.

The Quark Elves had never fought the Spacer Swimmers, but each kind was aware of the other's existence. Here on this lifeless, frozen planet, Swimmer Pluto and Maltibalkrix both detected each other at the same instant. Fantasy protocols were in effect here, so--although neither of them was telepathic-- they could speak to each other in a vacuum.

PLUTO: "You are a wielder of darkness! You are not welcome in this star system!"

QUARK LORD: "I am the MASTER of darkness! I make myself welcome!"

PLUTO: "This is not even your galaxy! I know that you fled from your home galaxy; but you will only be defeated in THIS galaxy even more painfully than you were defeated in your native galaxy!"

QUARK LORD: "I was never defeated by anyone! I came here to extend the reach of my conquests!"

PLUTO: "You will only extend the record of your losses!"

QUARK LORD: "Wishful thinking! You cannot instantly create new Spacer Swimmers, but I can create new armies of Quark Orcs, with new Quark Elves to lead them!"

PLUTO: "But my sisters and I can rally and empower existing superheroes in skillful efforts which will defeat your mere numbers!"

QUARK LORD: "No you can't!"

PLUTO: "Yes we can!"

QUARK LORD: "No you can't!"

PLUTO: "Yes we can!"

QUARK LORD: "You're a poopoo-head!"

PLUTO: "You're a double poopoo-head!"

Half an hour later, Maltibalkrix broke off the taunting contest, because he realized that he had no organized army at present, whereas Swimmer Pluto did have strong allies already available within the star system. Cloaking himself in darker-than-darkly-darkest darkness, he vanished, intending to find and recruit Drigum Namdre's party.
 
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On board one of several Naughtygator jump-ships which still favored the Calamaris and the Snarkonnens, Doctor Dizwarn was in communication with Hopecrusher Central. It has never been necessary to detail how this highly-ranked Lazytaxie had spoken to them when based on Planet Greedy Crime, and it still is not necessary; but he was in touch. They told him about Maltibalkrix wanting to rally surviving Quark Elves and change more people into Quark Orcs. They also dug up a female Face Twister named. Subberfooja, who could help to sabotage Powurkordean society. Then, as they had done in the past, the Hopecrushers called up a bit of Original Earth media for Dizwarn to peruse. (More about this later.)
.... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....

When called by Swimmer Pluto, Swimmer Mars joined her elder sister to make sure Maltibalkrix was no longer on the planet where Pluto had confronted him. Finding no trace of the master villain, they flew back to Powurkord. There, they spoke with the Heptagorta and with many of the local Banjolorians.

"Those who are already troubling your world," said Swimmer Mars, "do not appear to intend any violence to anyone. But the Quark Elves, especially their overlord, love to do violence. We can't say whether either faction will try to recruit the other."

Zeratra, a female Heptor, asked, "Do the Heart Sapphires have the power to beat Quark Elves in a fight?"

Swimmer Pluto replied, "Not to WIN a fight, no chance. But combined with Drigum Namdre, they have enough power for defense and evasion that Maltibalkrix would have next to zero chance of killing or enslaving them."
.... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....

At the equivalent of a highway truck stop, along a road leading into the already- described fruit-growing region, Dizwarn and Harshyanna shared a get-acquainted lunch with Subberfooja. The first thing of relevance that the Face Twister said was addressed to Dizwarn, whom she already knew. Gesturing to the former term-queen of Kantpoo: "Does she understand about the Never-Stopping Story?"

Long accustomed to interrupting and shouting down males, Harshyanna answered for herself: "Of course I do! No mortal understands the cosmos better than we Kantpoolian women do. Mother Universe patterned our lives after works of fiction; but we possess free will, to follow our own paths."

Harshyanna was oblivious to the meaning of the glance Subberfooja gave to Dizwarn. The glance asked him: How do you put up with her? The Lazytaxie's eyes replied to the Face-Twister's eyes: There are SOME aspects of Harshyanna's company which are pleasant, even if a child-friendly forum won't portray them up front.

Without missing a beat, Subfooja addressed the other woman: "We all really owe our existence to the phenomenon of Sub-Creation, but yes, our existence is as real as the existence of people on Original Earth. Inevitably, this means that some characters imagine they understand more about reality than they actually do understand. Quark-Lord Maltibalkrix, for instance, believes that his darkness is itself the ultimate origin of the storyverse; thus, he believes that his eventual domination of reality is natural and inevitable. He's comically mistaken; but his narcissism and cruelty can be made to serve the cause of evil badness."

"So where do Dizzy and I fit in?"

"As front persons. Maltibalkrix is about as charming and likeable as a block of raw sodium dropped into boiling water; but both of you can speak for him to useful idiots like these Heart Sapphires. For Hopecrusher Central to stop the Quark-Lord by force, they would have to send in beings far more powerful than we three; but we can PERSUADE Maltibalkrix to be patient, while we oversee the weakening of Powurkordean society."

"This being done," Dizwarn added, "it should be possible to persuade him to leave Powurkord undestroyed, while he does as he pleases with the other planets in the system."

NOTE TO SELF: BRING BACK SPADFITCH, THE SYSTEMS ENGINEER WHO SHOOK OFF THE GAME ADDICTION.
 
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Your fan-fictionist reminds you that my Babylon Five sub-reality has enjoyed interactions with my Star Wars and Spaceballs sub-reality since pretty early in the story. One of the LEAST positive interactions consisted in Queen-Emeritus Harshyanna trying to corrupt women in worlds of the Bubblewrap Coalition. The Kantpoolian aristocrat, who had shown her true colors by emotionally abusing her grandson Duke Spacewalker, presumed to lecture President Bruce Loxbagel about women's rights. This, with no regard for how much political clout was wielded by Bruce's wife, Deelyte of the Dusky Circle.

Bruce was a man of uncommon valor, but also a man of discretion. Remembering how much technical benefit his alliance derived from being friendly with the Republic of Lot of Worlds, he ingratiated Harshyanna by inviting the Republic to lend female Fuss users to inspect Coalition worlds for possible oppression of women. Very few societies in his jurisdiction featured any sort of cruel misogyny, but sure, why not root out those few cases with Jedi-variant assistance? The slender, bird-like Zubdookree, who has already been seen in our story, signed up for this project. She was joined by an up-side newbie called Lodratrid Guft, who physically resembled the character "Maz" in the Sequel Trilogy.

Zubdookree and Lodratrid picked up a near-human sidekick on Planet Philm-Nwarr, in the city of Neechee-Kamoo. Karbeena Owtfeeld was your typical politically-correct beautiful-but-lethal Mary-Sue-ish tough chick. Zubdookree put the fear of death in Karbeena when the robber jumped them and injured Lodratrid, and Karbeena's respect of superior strength (along with fear of being killed by the up-sider) secured her obedience. Where the trio did find any oppression of females, they pounced on it; but there wasn't much to find.

We rejoin the trio as they report about their successes back on Bubblewrap Five.

"The Republic of Lots of Worlds will be pleased with your performance." Bruce took a data device out of a desk drawer. "Now, you, Zubdookree, will recall that we are also friendly with another galactic community: one which is about as far BEHIND my Coalition technologically as your Republic is ahead of us. The Human Federation is busy catching up, as we are. But even though the Federation is all one species, they still have their own social problems."

Despite lacking The Fuss, Karbeena had long cultivated a sharp intuition for where any conversation was going. Now she asked the Coalition President: "Is there wide oppression of women there, or are you broadening the scope of our investigation?"

Having the same sort of intuition, Bruce Loxbagel replied, "Second option. You, Miss Owtfeeld, are sufficiently humanlike that you can be a spokeswoman for your up-sider companions. Zubdookree and Lodratrid NOT being anywhere close to human, they will demonstrate their goodness by their deeds."

"I get it. BECAUSE that Federation is all human, AND the first non-human sapients they ever met wanted to kill and eat them, they are susceptible to the old cliche of 'hating anyone who's different'."

"Yes. We already introduced them to friendly non-humans, who made a good impression; but they can use further attention. The three of you will be operating more autonomously than you were here in the Coalition. I'll see to it that their Stellar Assembly find opportunities for you to do good turns to their outlying planets."

All of this was arranged smoothly. Bruce, Deelyte, Master Drool with his Flapjack workers, Corin Webber, J'Unkycar, Captain Elizabeth Broccoli and Commander Josh Cordwood would be free to move along with other business.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
 
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Enough time had passed that a number of long-absent characters can be assumed to be available by now. Snack Salad and his Tryyurluck wife Noherra had visited the Bakesum system, to see how commerce with the Cakebunters was getting on. Meanwhile, Jacob Mossyhutch, hero of the war against the Postalfiends, had gotten married to Raquel Delgado, former security cop on Bubblewrap Five. Captain Broccoli had released Raquel from duty, designating her a law-enforcement consultant at large. The Mossyhutches visited Planet Riggblit, to see how the multi-species community there was getting on. Both visits went well.

The Salads and the Mossyhutches returned to the Upsydaisylon system just in time to meet Zubdookree's party before they headed for the "Starship Troopers"-based sub-reality. While everyone was exchanging stories, Master Drool projected his image into the conference room.

"I have news which bears upon your planned visit to the Human Federation. You remember the superhuman Hallpasscardians who have helped against evil forces. There is a sort of dwarf-giant associated with them: his name is Nawtyfeller, and he rules a planetoid called Forgeworld. King Garryowen's magic birds have informed him about your impending errand, and he asked Nawtyfeller to lend a hand.

"By means of the Dentfloss Bridge, Nawtyfeller will appear at the visitors' entry point very shortly now."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When the dwarf-giant materialized inside a currently-pressurized airlock, Snitsnobbie and Mintcandybarri telepaths were on hand to mind-scan him. All of the psychics verified that the stocky visitor was on the side of good. He asked particularly to meet Jacob Mossyhutch.

"Sergeant-Major Mossyhutch, I know about your outstanding career fighting against evil aliens in the sub-reality based on John Ringo's novels. Your army found it advantageous to use a refinement of bullet-guns, instead of laser weapons."

Jacob nodded. "Given the high velocity our projectiles were able to achieve using the gravity guns, our shots could penetrate more Postalfiend bodies than a laser or a plasma rifle could achieve. We really really needed high kill numbers against the alien swarms."

"I follow you," said Nawtyfeller. "Even though gravity is a diffused force, which REALLY SHOULD NOT be able to propel bullets at a speed near lightspeed, your story-reality makes it so for YOUR armament. With a touch of magic which infuses my work, I can make the performance of your gravity rifle even better."

"I appreciate that, sir; but perhaps you'll say more about why my weapon is particularly important."

"Easy enough to tell. When Hallpasscardians assisted the Human Federation, one of the threats facing that Earth-variant was an invasion by Snarkonnens and Lazytaxies-- who possessed protective shields which (and I find this absurd) WOULD EXPLODE if hit by a laser or similar weapon. These others with you are trained for energy weapons, which are suicidal to use against a Frank Herbert-derived shield; yet material projectiles are warded off by the shields."

"I know what our people found out about those," put in Snack Salad. "The shields were the reason why that galactic empire went back to using knives and swords-- because a hand-wielded weapon can move SLOWLY ENOUGH to avoid setting off the shield's resistance. But the shields' power was not absolute. Your Prince Thorpe was able to hack through a shield with a SWIFT blow of his battleaxe called Stormcracker."

"So he was," Nawtyfeller affirmed. "And I believe that Sergeant-Major Mossyhutch's grav-rifle can similarly defeat a Dune-storyverse personal shield. Which makes it-- and you as a character from its native reality-- potentially very important."
 
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CHANGE OF SCENE, BUT A RELATED SITUATION:

Readers may recall that, when the combined good-guy force defeated the Dune-related villains on Federation Earth (as referenced in the previous post), my version of Obi-Wan Kenobi was also involved. Mopey-One Kanoli, later dubbed Only-One, met a fanatical atheist named Tyrone Glass Neilsen. Seeing that so many Human Federation humans kept on believing in God, Neilsen eventually relocated to a second-rate human world still within Federation space, where he became the president of a university dedicated to atheistic existentialism.

We pick up the action at this university's administrative building, whose main entrance was adorned with the slogan of the faculty:

"We know that supernatural events cannot happen, because all REPORTS OF supernatural events are false. And we know the reports to be false, because supernatural events cannot happen."

Neilsen was working on a revisionist history book. Federation Earth's pre-starflight history was nearly identical that of Original Earth, and Neilsen wanted it to be different. On this Earth as on the original one, Christians had spearheaded the fight to abolish slavery. This, of course, infuriated Neilsen, so he was changing the historical record to say that all the abolitionists had been Hegelian atheists.

He was interrupted at work-- but by something which would prove pleasing to him. Appearing before him was a coldly beautiful woman, who radiated narcissism and cynicism identical to the scholar's own. "Greetings, Tyrone, and may nothingness bless you."

"Who might you be?"

"I am called Ickylinn. I am native to a planet called Alwaysurnia, where I promoted the power of unrestrained human will, as you do in your own way. But sickening hypocritical idealists have seized power there, contaminating the public intellect with toxic nonsense like a belief in life after death."

Neilsen perked up. "And forcing religion on everybody, right?"

"Yes, it's disgusting. Totally hostile to the ideals of the People's Republic of Heaven."

Offering Ickylinn some refreshment, the professional skeptic asked, "Do you want me to help restore logic on your planet?"

"Something better, actually. I'm inviting you to help mold a brand-new galactic sector." She conjured a holographic image of the galaxy. "Billions of people," she continued, "fail to understand that the galaxy is THREE-dimensional. What I'm speaking of is a LAYER of universe, BENEATH all of the sub-universes you ever heard of. No civilization you know of has ever had contact with the zone I'm indicating."

"Is there species diversity there?"

"Yes, though not as abundant in variety as the Bubblewrap Five sub-universe. There are no fewer than five races besides humans."

Neilsen peered at the galactic slice Ickylinn had highlighted for him. "Is there a unifying characteristic which defines this region?"

"Yes. It resembles the premises of an Original Earth roleplaying game called Halo."
 
If we regard the just-described galactic sector as the "basement" of our galaxy, this sector extended "downward" to within fifteen or twenty light-years of "outside" space. Because the Halo franchise on Original Earth was much younger than, say, Star Trek shows or Batman comics, the Halo-based sub-reality had just now been created. It contained sixty-two regularly-inhabited star systems. As in the origins of other storyverses bearing any relationship to Original Earth, people had sprung into existence already being whatever age their plotline role called for. They were fully real people, of no fewer than eighteen races counting humans.

The Creator would have let this new sub-cosmos move along in a relatively ordinary manner; but since Ickylinn and Professor Neilsen wanted to corrupt it, He would let them do their meddling. Of course, the Halo-derived beings would all still have every chance to be saved from sin and to end up in The Good Place; and once there, they would find that God had even brought to life the ancestors they believed they had.

The Almighty would not let Himself be thwarted in the long run, and He would not create ANYONE in a state of reprobacy where salvation was impossible. But He would let those who hated Him TRY to ruin His Never-Stopping Story.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"Here we go, Tyrone," said Ickylinn as they observed literally the first week of the new sub-reality's genuine existence. "I'm doing what I can to influence the use of technology, and dealings with animal life, on the new planets. I look to you to insert your ideas into these people's perceived history."

The skeptic gave her a wide-eyed grin. "Very good. In order to impart a great fantasy feel, without leaving any room for ugga-bugga religion, I'll convince them that the (seemingly) oldest cultures among them were actually created by a super-duper alien race, and that this alien race owed ITS achievements to an even OLDER super-duper alien race. All this allegedly reaching back far enough, that no ordinary person on these worlds will feel any need to search still farther back for any truly divine source of creation."

Ickylinn, who had magically improved Neilsen's health and vigor, kissed him warmly. "Very good, but we need one more element. Of course we don't want any correct acknowledgement of the One we hate; but we should facilitate any oppressive religion which is active in this plotline, so it can be guilty of atrocities."

The two haters of truth determined that, loosely following the Halo premise, the ancient aliens would be called The Introductories; the even-more-ancient aliens would be called The Preliminaries. The existing religion in this region which most hated all dissenters was called The Congregation. The Introductories would be blended into the Congregation's history, far more closely to "present time"' than the matching order of events in the game.. The Preliminaries would be a hole card to complicate matters later. A prominent alien race providing soldiers to The Congregation was called the Skankbellies.

Let the reader assume that the chosen good guys would enter this new sub-reality, with at least some of them able to speak the languages, nine days after Ickylinn and Tyrone Glass Neilsen had inserted their embellishment foundation of nastiness.

The evildoers, of course, never considered that the Almighty might have already known what they would decide to do, and that they could only do what He allowed them to do.
 
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Three days before Jacob, Raquel, Snack, Noherra, Zubdookree, Lodratrid and Karbeena would land on the human-settled planet called Stretch, a squad of Crackshots, as they were called, continued a mission which, as far as they knew, had been going on for months, though they had actually only existed for thirteen days. Once given existence by the mind of the Almighty, they had hit the ground running, knowing exactly how to use all their weapons and equipment.

Corporal Hendro-41, the squad leader, believed that he remembered fighting paratrooper-equivalents belonging to the Skankbelly race. The hostile aliens had been trying to destroy the carbon-fiber textile factories which were the largest single element in the Stretchite export economy. These memories were artificial, but the Skankbellies really existed. Those aliens, vaguely resembling the capital-A Aliens in Original Earth movies, also bore implanted memories of battling humans and races friendly to humans. The Creator had positively willed these races to exist, but had merely PERMITTED "The Congregation" to become the social core of the aggressor types.

The narrative point at which everybody began existing was one at which humans and their allies had gained a strong tactical advantage over the Congregation. That part was the Creator's will, and He did not let Ickylinn and Tyrone change it. The bad guys knew their position to have been weakened; and they now had genuine free will. By couriers jumping through the mysterious Heyho Rings, the good-aligned community, speaking from a position of strength, had offered peace talks: one of its very first collective actions in true existence. The fanatics of the Congregation were capable of being reasonable if they chose to be, and they would be morally accountable if they refused.

A small non-human, shaped like an eighty-pound squirrel, was the only clear non-humanoid in Hendro's squad. Her battle armor necessarily included a sort of dorsal ridge to accommodate her tail; her main jump-jets were fitted around this. Her name was Fradlodli, and her human-friendly race was called the Efrachiktu. Having less load-carrying strength, Efrachiktu personnel gravitated to technical specialties. After the Congregation had been given ample time to deliberate on the peace overtures, Private First Class Fradlodli received the wide-area broadcast of the fanatics' response. It was pretty much along the lines of "Your mother was a hamster!"

The squad performed additional recon, looking for signs of enemy preparations for new hostilities. Not finding indications of immediate threat, they had begun withdrawing when Fradlodli picked up a transmission unlike anything from a Congregation comms array.

"Corporal! There's a multiracial group on landing approach to this planet. They're attempting to hail anybody civilized."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In brief, our questing heroes met up with Hendro's squad. Snack Salad, experienced in greeting strangers, gave Hendro-41 a brief explanation of who he and his companions were. It helped matters that both men spoke English, the United Civilizations being built around a version of Earth. The youngest Crackshot present, a college-age near-human lad named Bedrakam-377 (race called Plethmors; only obvious difference being one less digit on hands and feet), expressed amazement at the intimation of how many worlds existed outside his own already-sizeable region. Snack remarked, "On the bright side, a star traveler never needs to get bored! And in my case--" he indicated Noherra; "--galactic diversity brought me true love."

When Hendro's superiors heard what his patrol had encountered-- especially the significance of the Bubblewrap Coalition-- they asked to speak with Snack, who told them crucial facts about his own society. The Crackshot leadership became extremely interested in assistance for the prospective negotiations with The Congregation.

>>> MORE OF THIS LATER.
 
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ON PLANET CHIMPANZIA, which shares its parent star with Planet Directvideo where Princess Vixen was born, the effort to uncover more about the alien sabotage against the ape-race's aviation industry was at a standstill. No fresh attacks of any sort had occurred. Therefore, the Chimpanzian planetary government recommended accepting Speedy Greyhoundus' invitation for Duke Diskoduck and some Chimpanzian representatives to be teleported to Jumpstard in the Third Galaxy. This being the birthplace of the valiant Bakerstray Bill.

King Woolywoofin's counterpart of the Rainbow Bridge was activated by Astrosmeller, the dog-headed counterpart of Heimdall in Scandinavian mythology. Instead of SEEING and hearing everything in a chosen location, the super-canine sentry could SMELL and hear everything he would have smelled and heard if he were personally present in that place. Transported to the head of the cosmic bridge were Chimpanzian Vice President Sarpalina (accent second syllable with a long A), Speedy Greyhoundus, Duke Diskoduck, his wife Wilma Dearthing, Inspector Antilacor of Chimpanzia's planetary security force, Lefturklyde the chieftain of a band of super-orangutans from Planet Anoxia, Major Tex Tylus of the Republic of Lots of Worlds, and Tex's wife the former down-side villainess Sweetslayer.

Queen Wagga welcomed the delegation cordially, bidding them to dine at the royal table. Over a supper which was fully digestible for humans and apes, the Jumpstardean alpha couple eagerly questioned all the guests about their various home planets. They were especially interested in speaking with Lefturklyde, since he had fought beside Bakerstray Bill when Bill intervened against Crowdhack of the Mob.

But events on Chimpanzia were not being ignored. With the king's approval, Astrosmeller pledged to scan the Milky Way galaxy for signs of Glukk activity. If these were detected, Bill himself could be sent to intervene.

Only after dessert was the subject of the plotline-convenient alien artifact brought up again. Go ahead and imagine for yourself what it looked like. As soon as it was brought close to Diskoduck, some cool synth-pop music filled the air-- and the artifact changed into a mist, which passed right into the virtuous Directvidean aristocrat. Apparently unharmed, Diskoduck exclaimed, "Wow! I actually know just what this thing is doing!"

"Is it as random and unusual as your other artifacts?" asked Wilma.

"Yep, just as weird. Most impressively, I can become totally invulnerable and indestructible if I stand or sit still and keep my eyes closed; but being asleep doesn't count, and no one else will be protected. Your Majesty" --here he addressed Woolywoofin-- "was this item discovered on a desert planet, similar to Srirachiss in our galaxy?"

"Indeed it was."

"The next power your artifact has given me is to create water out of nothing, though only in small amounts at a time. Wilma, please tilt back your head and open your mouth." Once the beautiful space pilot did as requested, her mouth suddenly was filled with water, which she swallowed.

"Sure enough, darling, it's pure water. I'm fairly certain that I can create almost a liter at one time."

Diskoduck kissed Wilma, then resumed: "Finally, I now can hear ALL frequencies of sound, and this over a considerable distance."

Astrosmeller's ears went up in a thoroughly canine fashion. "I'm accustomed to gigantic sensory input; but will you be distressed by hearing so much more total sound all the time?"

The Duke smiled. "Whoever invented your artifact seems to have taken this into account. I can SWITCH OFF my improved hearing at will."

Antilacor gestured for the Directvidean's attention. "Your Grace, when we get back to Chimpanzia, I'll ask you to practice detecting the sounds of assorted machines and devices. If the aircraft saboteurs are still on my planet, perhaps you'd be able to detect unique noises made by equipment of theirs."
 
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Seated three places down the table from Diskoduck, Sweetslayer suddenly looked like someone having a sudden idea. Leaning forward to look past her husband and the Duke's wife, she spoke: "Diskoduck, perhaps you should try one of those random precognitions now. You might foresee a case in which your new hearing will serve a good purpose."

Diskoduck looked at the royal couple; Woolywoofin shrugged, Wagga nodded.

"Very well," said the artifact-receptive Duke. Doing the special fingers-in-ears gesture (not related to his new hearing power) which activated his future-glimpses, he paused. Half a minute later, he frowned and sighed. Looking at Lefturklyde: "Well, now I know that your niece's first baby will be a boy orangutan."

Urged to try again, Diskoduck ended up looking intrigued. "I just had my first vision of Original Earth! In a city there named Chicago, two celibate servants of Actual God, known as Father Aquino and Sister Elizabeth, are managing a shelter for impoverished persons. The prediction is that, no longer than three Earth-years from now, their ecclesiastical administration will promote them: put them in overall control of SIX shelters."

* * * * * * * * * * *
Back in the star system which contained both Directvideo and Chimpanzia, up-siders Quinine Sauce and yellow-skinned Samladel Fripp (the latter being of the same race as the green-skinned Noherra Synthmusica-Salad) were passengers on Pro Dashalong's frigate-ish starship, as it randomly wandered the outer system. Much like Swimmer Mars and Swimmer Pluto in the star system containing Planet Powurkord, the two Fuss users were using their psychic senses to determine if any traces of lurking evil could be detected.

More assistance was expected. Lanette Grudenko, captain of the star transport Wagonmaster and Pro's love interest because he deserved to have one after being a background character for so long, was bringing heavy factory machinery to help the Chimpanzians build new and better atmospheric flying craft. Her protective escort was the same A-Frame fighter-bomber squadron which Pro had commanded for a while.

Quinine and Samladel had not yet gotten very far beyond holding hands, but this much they now did frequently. They could justify it (as if a wholesome growth of love, between good people who shared the same values, needed special justification) by the fact that the moderate physical contact really did help them to share any mental impressions they might gather.

One of Samladel's head-tails, the one on the side away from her sweetheart, suddenly quivered.

"Captain Dashalong! Do your instruments detect any sudden energy-events ahead of us, and above us relative to ship's attitude?"

Leaning over to look at a crewmate's monitor, Pro replied, "Yes! A quarter-lightyear off. Resembles an emergence from hyperspace, but not accompanied by a starship's propulsion signature."

"Clankalot!" Samladel now exclaimed. That robot was with them aboard the ship. "Does any emission from that space-transit match anything in your own databanks? Especially from any living thing?"

"Mistress Fripp, some wave characteristics are suggestive of a major evil immortal who was killed more than two standard years ago. That being was called Galactikang; he used to consume entire inhabited planets, never bothering to devise ways he could sustain himself without killing billions of people. He was deservedly slain by a demigod-level super-heroine called Marysuefire, who is native to an Earth-variant. From all I've heard, Galactikang cannot have come back to life. But maybe he had some kind of associate."

Without delay, Quinine Sauce exerted all his Fuss power to send a generalized thought planetside. Most Fuss users could not carry on telepathic dialogues as precise as vocal conversations, but they could get an idea across. The idea Master Quinine transmitted was a distress call. It was meant for the green-skinned Toofah-Roffian Bestbaya, great-niece to Master Yoga-Rug. She was remaining close to Heart Sapphire Tahushio Bleebu, because the Sapphire Sisters could move around in vacuum as easily as the ominous intruder could. In very short order, surrounding herself and Bestbaya with a survival sphere, Tahushio was exiting atmosphere.
 
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There was indeed an "associate" of the deservedly-deceased Galactikang. Traynrekk the Trampler, while ogre-like in appearance, resembled Marvel's Silver Surfer by his ability to live in vacuum and travel faster than light. Since Galactikang's death, Traynrekk had been pursuing warped revenge (no pun intended) by murdering heroes on various worlds. He had slain three versions of Batman, two versions of Captain America, two Green Flashlights, and a handful of crimefighters with no direct equivalents in Original Earth literature or movies.

He had murdered the Flashlight Corps members in their sleep; his other victims had, of course, been far beneath him in raw power. Without an evil immortal master to hide behind, Traynrekk was a slimy coward. But his ability to strike very suddenly still made him a serious menace. The more so if he could find other villains to team up with.

His warp-travel power was accompanied by an intuition for the status of inhabited worlds. Like, did they have spaceflight capability? Did they have any superheroes among them? Were they friendly with powerful worlds which might intervene against an assault?

Not being omniscient even with his clairvoyance, Traynrekk even before he lost Galactikang had relied partly on past history. This being so, the space-villain initially thought he was making a routine check on Chimpanzia. Even the more-modern Directvideo, though possessing warp-speed capability, had long been isolated and rather weak. All events paralleling Mel Brooks' movie "Spaceballs" had transpired SINCE Galactikang had last looked in this direction.

The proximity of Captain Dashalong's ship gave the super-villain his first inkling of a high-tech presence. Alerted, he reached out with his mind. Sure enough, there was a modern ship there, and those aboard it were on the side of good. This was pretext enough to kill them.

Unleashing regulation sci-fi energy bolts, Traynrekk found protective shields deflecting the first volley. The ship fired back, hitting the cosmic villain's own shielding. Traynrekk's power level would have lasted longer-- but the cavalry was coming. Kept alive by Tahushio's power, Bestbaya struck with a Fuss-choke variant, squeezing the villain's brain.

Being a high-grade monster, the Trampler was very hard to kill; but not being brave, he decided to withdraw for now.

His cosmic clairvoyance informed him of a kindred spirit: mortal, but hard-edged and accomplished in wickedness. As icing on the cake, this mortal had a name which, like his name, began phonetically with "TR." Trillyun Subaru also had a formidable robot henchman. These, and the brutish mercenaries he sensed the woman had available, were promising.
 
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