The Insane Asylum II

[WarriorSatyr]

Jerrie: We knows some songs 'bout Cats, don' we, Teazer?

Teazer: We sure do, Jer'!

Jerrie: Are you mean like a Minx?

Teazer: Are you lean like a lynx?

Jerrie:... Tha's all I know 'sides our song.

Teazer: Me too.

Macavity: Oh, boo-hoo! I don't even have a line in my own song! All I get is some maniacal laughter! Does that count as a line? I don't think so!

Me: Well, maybe if you cleaned up a little, the others might let you sing.

Macavity: *sulking* But then the cool verse about my appearance wouldn't rhyme.

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

Caspian: Dude, if you want a line in your own song just sing randomly in the middle of it. That's what I do.

Dorthy: And you blast everyone's eardrums out at the same time.

Frodo: *snicker* Macavity. Mah cavity. Ma, cavity!

Master: Why are there a bunch of whales and cactuses at the bottom of this cliff?

Dorthy: *raises paw to explain, then stops and sighs*

Caspian: BECAUSE WE CAN! *throws at whale at the Master*

Dorthy: And here we see my brother, refusing to give into nostalgia...

Frodo: Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!

 

[WarriorSatyr]

Me: Oh, is THAT what Frodo looks like? I'd been imagining something a bit more...

Macavity: Yes? Do go on.

Me: I hate you.

Macavity: I know. Finish your sentence.

Me: Fine. I thought he'd be a bit more impressive. Happy now?

Macavity: *Isn't there*

Me: Isn't that always the way?

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

Me: Oh, is THAT what Frodo looks like? I'd been imagining something a bit more...

Macavity: Yes? Do go on.

Me: I hate you.

Macavity: I know. Finish your sentence.

Me: Fine. I thought he'd be a bit more impressive. Happy now?

Macavity: *Isn't there*

Me: Isn't that always the way?

Frodo is the middle kitten. So yeah, he kinda did look like that, at least when he was little. Caspian is on the right side of him.

Caspian: AWWW, LIDDLE FRODO!

Frodo:....

Dorthy: Tehe, cutie.

Master: Great, I've discovered the infamous cat pictures of the internet. This human child is the source.

me: Actually, I'm one fourth human, one fourth cat, one fourth Hobbit and one fourth Timelord.

Master:....

me:

 

[Rainshadow]

Me: Wait, I thought you were half Time Lord, half human...?

Adam: This gets more confusing every day.

Me: You could say that again!

Ned: Say what again? And where am I?

10: Who's he?

Dean: *Randomly appears* *Tackles Ned* He-witch!

Me: Oh, come ON! *Buries face in hands*

Ned: Gah! What's going on?!

Jack: Well, all I see right now is two incredibly handsome men rolling around on the floor.

Me: Shut up and help!

Jack: *Shrugs* *Grabs Dean*

Dean: Hey! This dude's raisin' people from the dead!

Me: Dude, just go back to... wherever you were prior to right now.

Gabriel: *Appears* Snaps fingers* *Ned, Dean, and Gabriel disappear*

Adam: What.

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

Me: Wait, I thought you were half Time Lord, half human...?

me: When did I say that?

Caspian: Actually, Adam, once upon a time it was FAR more confusing. When I was evil overlord...

Dorthy: You were never evil overlord.

Caspian: Battling against the forces of the Traveling Trio...

Dorthy: Caspian, really, you're romanticizing.

Frodo: Caspian isn't romantic.

Caspian: And teaming up with Dusty....

Dorthy: You're confusing Frodo.

Caspian: And wrecking her wedding...

Dorthy: Okay, that was fun, but you were still never evil overlord.

Caspian: PEASANT, YOU ARE CORRECT, I STILL AM THE EVIL OVERLORD! MWAHAHAHAA!

Dorthy:...

Master: Can we please talk about the definition of an Evil Overlord, because I don't think that means what you think it means...

Toto: That awkward moment when the Master quotes the Princess Bride.

me: That awkward moment when a kitten knows about the Princess Bride.

Dorthy: Eh, it happens.

Caspian: BOW, MORTAL PEASANTS, BEFORE ME!

Toto: Caspian, we're not immortal.

Caspian: Yeah we are, Mewsie wrote books about us, WE SHALL LIVE FOREVER!

me:....

 

[WarriorSatyr]

Macavity: Dear, dear. It seems that the kitten has delusions of grandeur. I am the Napoleon of Crime in the Cat world.

Me: He is. There's a whole annoying song about it.

Macavity: In fact, all of the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known (I might mention Mungo-

Me: And again, I say it- Don't repeat your lines! It's supremely annoying. Quote others if you want, but leave your lines alone.

Macavity: Whatever. They're all my agents. All the evil Cats. All of them.

Me: Shut up. You're not here.

 

[Lady of Narnia]

*wanders in, sits in a corner, and begins taking notes*

 

[WarriorSatyr]

Me *Gasps* An official note-taker! I bow before your superiority, milady!

Macavity: We've talked about bowing before people. What did I say?

Me: Don't do it. But it's Lonny, right? I've heard so much!

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Me *Gasps* An official note-taker! I bow before your superiority, milady!

Macavity: We've talked about bowing before people. What did I say?

Me: Don't do it. But it's Lonny, right? I've heard so much!

*bows* Yes, I am indeed Lonny, and I've come back after a very long time away. It's nice to meet you!
*scribbles down some notes*

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

Dorthy: Hey, look, its a member who was here before us!

*kittens stare at Lonny*

Caspian: *glares at Macavity* I bet YOU can't make a BOMB. I have.

Dorthy: Caspian, since when do you brag about that?

Caspian: Since I'm an evil overlord, that's when!

Master: I've created better weapons.

Caspian: Yeah, but you have THUMBS.

Master: That may actually be the best point you've come up with this whole time.

Frodo: *peers over Lonny's shoulder* What'cha writtin? Is it about us? Is it a picture? Can I see, can I see?!?

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Oh my goodness, kittens!! I love kittens!! *hugs kittens* And yes, I am writing about you... It's stuff.... for my book... my secret book.

*sits down in old sane corner* Goodness, it's dusty over here! *sneezes*

*continues note taking*

 

[WarriorSatyr]

Macavity: I have no need of bombs. I can do magic!

Me: You can levitate stuff.

Macavity: But I can make a fakir stare!

Me: A fakir is an Indian street magician. They're not only fakirs, but fakers. So, you're not saying much about yourself there.

Macavity: It rhymes! *Isn't there*

Me: And he leaves again.

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

Caspian: Macavity's lame, Macavity's la-a-me.

Dorthy: You just look for trouble, don't you?

Caspian: FIGHT ME IF YOU DARE SUPPOSED EVILDOER!

Dorthy: O-o-oh, so THAT'S what this is about.

Master: What's he doing?

Dorthy: Trying to start another war.

Master:... Alright, I'm beginning to like the annoying and devious kitten.

Oh my goodness, kittens!! I love kittens!! *hugs kittens* And yes, I am writing about you... It's stuff.... for my book... my secret book.

*sits down in old sane corner* Goodness, it's dusty over here! *sneezes*

*continues note taking*

Mozart: Mewsie has an un-secret book. Four of them, actually.

Caspian:... DO NOT HUG THE EVIL OVERLORD!

Dorthy:

Frodo: Hug me more instead of Caspian!

 

[WarriorSatyr]

Macavity: I'm based off of Professor Moriarty. Fight you myself? Pft, hilarious!

Me: Don't insult the guy with the tomato cannon.

Macavity: Why not? I have no fear of tomatoes. I will simply teleport myself far from the range of this cannon. I am Macavity, the Mystery Cat! The Hidden Paw and the Napoleon of Crime! I am-

Me: A huge windbag?

Macavity: Hiss!

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

Macavity: I'm based off of Professor Moriarty. Fight you myself? Pft, hilarious!

Me: Don't insult the guy with the tomato cannon.

Macavity: Why not? I have no fear of tomatoes. I will simply teleport myself far from the range of this cannon. I am Macavity, the Mystery Cat! The Hidden Paw and the Napoleon of Crime! I am-

Me: A huge windbag?

Macavity: Hiss!

Caspian: I'm based off a kitten. The only kitten of his litter to survive. Why? I'm going to let you decide that.

Dorthy: OH FOR THOR'S SAKE.

Caspian: AND DON'T YOU INSULT MAH TOMATO CANNON MISTER! YOU CANNOT TELEPORT OUT OF RANGE OF MY CANNON, I WILL FLY AFTER YOU WITH MY DRAGONATOR AND GET FRODO TO SEND FLYING TOAST DIPPED IN SPIDER VENOM AT YOU!

Dorthy: Gorlog's beard, look at what you've done.

Master: *gets bag of popcorn and sits on couch* Fight, fight, fight, fight...

Frodo: TOSTA! *jumps out wearing a cape and holding his Toaster*

Dorthy: NO CAPES!

Toto: We did something far more deadly than incite Caspian, we got Dorthy on a quote run.

Caspian: *shoots Macavity in the back of the head with a tomato from his Tomato Cannon* I DECLARE WAR ON YOU, BECAUSE YOU HAVE INSULTED ME, THE EVIL OVERLORD. FIGHT, COWARD!

Dorthy: If you need me I'll be on the porch.

me: Anyone who can tell me everything Dorthy quoted and referenced in this post I will give them a cookie.

Master: ...Fight.

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Hmmmmmm.... evil overlord kittens.... very interesting... *takes notes*

wall: this is all you ever do, isn't it?
me: Oh my goodness, a talking wall......


this can't be possible.

wall: oh, I assure you my dear, it is completely possible. This is the Insane asylum, after all.
me: But I'm in the sane corner! *pouts*
wall: it's all in your head.
me: I refuse to believe that.
wall: well..... you're talking to me, aren't you?
me: stop talking to me!!
wall: ..... I'm not the one who started this conversation.

me: YOU LIE.

wall: I never said I was going to tell you the truth.
me: YOU LI- wait... that IS true. Nevermind.

 

[WarriorSatyr]

Macavity: *Isn't there*

Me: And he's done it again! Ay, there's the wonder of the thing- MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

Macavity: *Isn't there*

Me: And he's done it again! Ay, there's the wonder of the thing- MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

Caspian: I WILL...

Dorthy: *throws a paw over Caspian's mouth* Let me try.

Caspian: -.- *muffled* Fine.

Dorthy: *removes paw* Oh come on, anybody can pull off a disappearing act, I mean, we've got the One Ring for cryin' out loud. He probably just stole an invisibility cloak. That's boring. Booo.

Mozart: Cheap trick magician, saying he was based off of Moriarty, what a load of bologna.

Dorthy: Lets ignore his nonexistence.

Mozart: Ooo, sounds fun!

Dorthy and Mozart: *ignore Macavity's nonexistence*

Frodo: *shoots buttered toast at Caspian's face* Ha ha!

Caspian: *glares* You little henchman! I'll have you for that!

Master: Have him for what?

Caspian: I dunno, that's just what villains say!

me: Why is 'dunno' considered a word by spellcheck, but not the word 'spellcheck'? It dislikes its own name?

Frodo: *jumps on Lonny's head* Shh, I'm hiding from Caspians.

Caspian: I am going to chocolate Mt. Doom nuke you all.

 

[Lady of Narnia]

*hides Frodo behind my back* don't worry, I won't tell him where you are. That wall behind me, though, I'm not so sure about.

wall: Hey, I heard that!!
me: you know, it's funny, you talk without a mouth and listen without ears. How is that possible??
wall: I tried to tell you before; that's because it's all in your head!
me: I doubt that. The first time I was here I got trampled by stampeding doors. was THAT all in my head?
wall: You were in the 1st floor west wing. ALL the doors are constantly stampeding down there.
me: and you know this because....
wall: I used to be a wall down there. I moved.
me: ........................ I have no words.