war of the dwarves and elves!

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* Sprays breath freshener on Dryad's tongue, then remembers which end of the axe to hold just in time to parry Zella's sword *
 
*Swings at Copperfox once again* Whew! This would be much easier if we were the same height. Not that I would ever want to be as short as a Dwarf of course!
 
But if you were to READ Tolkien, not only watch the movies, you would know that Dwarves ALSO use bows and arrows; and although Elves can shoot in the dark, this battle is taking place in daylight, and with light Dwarves can shoot near enough to as well as Elves. Besides, the Dwarves have been reading "Green Arrow" comic books, and some of OUR arrows release little stinkbombs which smell like a Dwarf the day BEFORE he takes his annual bath.
 
Copperfox said:
But if you were to READ Tolkien, not only watch the movies, you would know that Dwarves ALSO use bows and arrows; and although Elves can shoot in the dark, this battle is taking place in daylight, and with light Dwarves can shoot near enough to as well as Elves. Besides, the Dwarves have been reading "Green Arrow" comic books, and some of OUR arrows release little stinkbombs which smell like a Dwarf the day BEFORE he takes his annual bath.
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I have read LOTR.:rolleyes: And what is your point? Now you're just telling us enemy secrets.:p
 
"The Hobbit" is more specific about Dwarves also having archers. The point of mentioning it is so that our SWARMS of new Dwarf recruits won't be discouraged by a mistaken belief that we don't get to use any long-range weapons. As for secrets, wait till you see our 30-millimeter, six-barrelled rotary--cough cough, pretend I never said anything.
 
Copperfox said:
"The Hobbit" is more specific about Dwarves also having archers. The point of mentioning it is so that our SWARMS of new Dwarf recruits won't be discouraged by a mistaken belief that we don't get to use any long-range weapons. As for secrets, wait till you see our 30-millimeter, six-barrelled rotary--cough cough, pretend I never said anything.
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I've also read the Hobbit, and I do vaguely remeber them having bows.
I wonder if it would count if I brought in the tomato cannon?:p
 
I think the tomato cannon would be okay--especially if your aim is good enough to land the ammunition directly in the mouths of us Dwarfs. It'll help us have lunch on the battlefield.
 
That was in a very dark forest. Given daylight, Thorin Oakenshield was able to send an arrow exactly where he wanted it to go.
 
Mirkwood was more than dark enough; the book says it even had black butterflies and black squirrels. But now it's time to repay the snippiness of these Elves.

Now I bring out the six-barrelled automatic weapon I hinted at earlier. It shoots out a continuous stream of lumps of "cram" (the hard biscuit made by Dwarves for travelling rations). Beware the crumb shrapnel!
 
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