war of the dwarves and elves!

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Glozelle! Get out of here! You've been grounded, remember? You better watch it, or next time your mom might ground you for life.

Sorry for the interruption, but this little rascal escaped and tried to annihilate the dwarfs and elves.
 
Mozart, I accepted many claims from your side, such as having Dwarvish tunnels caved in by Giants, and now your claim to be able to catch and gag Dwarf sentries; and I was trying to abide by gentler terms of war. If you didn't want to lose your wolves, you shouldn't have sent them to steal from us. After all, the wolves are not the equivalent of player-characters here.
 
Copperfox said:
Mozart, I accepted many claims from your side, such as having Dwarvish tunnels caved in by Giants, and now your claim to be able to catch and gag Dwarf sentries; and I was trying to abide by gentler terms of war. If you didn't want to lose your wolves, you shouldn't have sent them to steal from us. After all, the wolves are not the equivalent of player-characters here.
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Since I last checked pushing the other sides belongings into a river was not illegal. And you steal from our side all the time so I don't see why we can't do the same to your side.
 
I'm beginning to consider sending a dispatch of Telmarine diplomats to negotiate a peace treaty between the two sides in conflict here. This could get messy.
 
The Elves shall restrain themselves and henceforth refer to the Dwarves and "miniscule achondroplasmic vertebrates."
 
All stealing done by Dwarves was done BEFORE the mellowing down of the conflict. Anyway, having reacted purely defensively to the wolf incursion, we Dwarves will refrain from escalating, while we see what may be achieved by diplomacy.
 
Well, you dwarves are both apeirophobic, nyctohylophobic, and xylophobic. And, having changed the war into this mode, you all are guilty of epeolatry.
 
Ooooo this ought to be good.
*Maugrim runs up to me*
Fine,Maugrim won't steal,but he stays in our camp.How was Siberia?
Maugrim:Good,although i missed our little war...
Ok,Maugrim swears to be "good",and will stay in our camp,training the youngest recruits.:D
And why are we talking,Mewsie?Back to our war!
 
Now you're talking!:p
*jumps up on a tree*er...(dang it whats the password)oh yeah!CHOCOLATEFUDGESUNDAE!!!
*200 foam tomohawks launch at Dwarves*Behold,i have upgraded my machine.And it has a special feature included:*screams*SUNDAEWITHCHOPPEDNUTS!
*200 arrows whizz at the Dwarves*It has two different weapons now!:D
 
Expressing appreciation for Mozart's renewed self-restraint, I shoot only a token volley of frisbees in her direction. S-Dryad gets bombarded with tons of entangling Silly-String; and Maugrim is hit by itching-powder bombs. Meanwhile, ten reprogrammed Balrogs, loyal now to the Dwarves, are deployed in our tunnels. Just let Maugrim try stealing items THEY are guarding.
 
Maugrim:*growls,then untangles me out of silly string*
Me:All right-this means war!
Maugrim:Er...we're already at war.
Me:Oh yeah.Whatever!To the tree,where we stored those cobwebs!
*loads Shelob-spun cobwebs into little balls,and fires at Copperfox.Ball explodes,trapping Copperfox in the cobweb*
Maugrim:*howl his compliments*
Me:Thank you,Wolfy*starts shooting more cobweb balls*
 
All Dwarves hit by the web-missiles free themselves instantly, by using the sonic vibrations of their belching which disintegrate the webbing.
 
*ducks from frisbees*
*throws nerf ball that explodes into fireworks that are displayed over the battlefield*
*shoots foam arrows at the dwarves while everybody is looking at the fireworks*
 
We use the foam arrows like dusters, to clean up the residue from the destroyed Shelob-webbing. Then we hurl clusters of live fleas (genetically engineered to have no appetite for biting Dwarves, but to be eager for wolf-blood) onto Maugrim, while tossing bags of Orville Reddenbacher popcorn to Mozart.
 
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