war of the dwarves and elves!

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SammylovesNarnia1 said:
*bats every trace of beard growth elixiur from middle earth*
hahaha now how are you gonna grow beards?
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NOOOOOOO!! *jumps on Sammy's shoulders making her stagger to and fro*

We mustn't killz them that way preciousssssssss, we must does THIS

*sets all dwarves in middle-earth and narnia's beardses ablaze*

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
O I almost forgot...

*Dons plastic pointy ears*

TEEHEEHEEHEE I'ma elf ;)
 
Me: Welcome,new not-fellow Elf!
Maugrim: We're not Elves,the Traveling Trio.
Zorro: We're lunatics. *crashes into invisible spotted sink*
Me: JUNIOR!
Zorro: What?
Me: You're whiskers are too long...and they're...curly.
Zorro: Stop making fun of me!
Maugrim: This oughtta be good. *perches on rock and watches me and Zorro yell at each other*
Me: When's the next war coming on? Beware,for even though we work for the Elves,we are terror!
Zorro: Terrier? As in DOG? Ola,how could you! :eek:
Me & Maugrim: TERROR,YOU IMBECILE!
 
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The supposed Dwarf village was just a decoy, like the fake Rock Ridge in "Blazing Saddles"--a trick to lure you Elves into one place. Now, the Dwarves unleash the counterattack.

We told the I.R.S. that the Elves have paid less than eighty percent of their income to Washington over the last ten years. Now, therefore, an enormous army of tax auditors, as merciless as piranhas, descends upon the Elves from all directions!
 
Traveling Trio: *is surrounded from all sides by I.R.S. agents.
Maugrim: Oh bad.Oh bad.BAD! :eek:
Zorro: This reminds me of a joke-how many I.R.S. agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one,but it really g-
Me & Maugrim: SHUT UP! You don't want to make the agents even more homocidal,do you?!
I.R.S. Agents: MOOONNNNNEEEEEYYYYYY!!!!! *lunge at Traveling Trio*
Me: Run like the wind! :eek:
Traveling Trio: *high-tails it outta the fake-Dwarf village,picking up Mewsie and her cats in the Amazing Broken-Down Teleporter,then teleport to the Hideout* For the moment,I suppose we're safe...
 
Me: GASP! A DECOY?? They tricked us!!

IRS has now surrouned all the elves.
Now it is time to unleash the secret weapon!!
All the elves climb up in the trees and use their mysterious flutes to call upon the.... GIANT SPIDERS OF MIRKWOOD!! Mwah-hahaha!! The Giant Spider come crashing through the woods and quickly... devour... the IRS agents. The Dwarves have failed to swindle the money out of us, and we won't be arrested for not paying taxes!
 
It was the dwarves! Those traitors brought the taxes to Middle Earth! They also established the IRS base! We have to burn it to the ground! Gather the torches, fellow elves!

*glares are SammyLovesNarnia1*
Me: Would you stop eating lembas bread and help! ;)

But be careful to make sure it's not a decoy!
 
Ha ha ha--feel free to burn _anything_ you find _above_ ground, clueless Elves! We Dwarves live _underground,_ with our tamed Balrogs providing extra security!
 
Foolish Elf, did you think WE were dependent on income taxes for OUR livelihood? When we have the market cornered on everything from mithril to coal to uranium? The I.R.S. agents were just to harass YOU! And--besiege us? Ha! You don't have enough Elves in all fantasy worlds combined to interdict all our tunnels!


~ ~ The moment after Copperfox says this, the Elf being spoken to sinks into another camouflaged oatmeal pit.
 
Copperfox said:
Foolish Elf, did you think WE were dependent on income taxes for OUR livelihood? When we have the market cornered on everything from mithril to coal to uranium? The I.R.S. agents were just to harass YOU! And--besiege us? Ha! You don't have enough Elves in all fantasy worlds combined to interdict all our tunnels!


~ ~ The moment after Copperfox says this, the Elf being spoken to sinks into another camouflaged oatmeal pit.
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Well foolish dwarf whilst you have been talking to me the other elves have blocked all entrances to your tunnels therefore you are offically trapped we demand you yield you weapons and beards to us!
And its not all numbers that matter go through english history and you will learn that!
 
You only blocked the entrances you could SEE! While you shout useless demands at those doorways, Dwarf Special Forces troops emerge from secret gates, and bombard your unsuspecting troops from behind with giant pumpkin-rhubarb pies!
 
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